You
you
I'm gonna put the number one up here as I talk to you
You that number one represents exactly what's happening right now while I'm talking to you one person is dying someplace in this country
That person is dying from the number one cause of death in your age bracket
And I want you all to pay attention to what I'm gonna say that person is dying someplace
And I honest to God don't believe you care yet
This is why I'm here at this school
Because if it happens to this guy this guy this guy then all of a sudden you go like this my god. It's real
This is a real statistic people and you're dying like this eight to nine thousand a year
It's there and you're dying because of these things you have also in your age bracket three point three million teenage alcoholics
Can you imagine that?
Three point three million teenage alcoholics and when I say that to you in this room
You're gonna begin to chuckle and smile a little bit because it's almost as if it's a social thing to say oh alcohol
Alcohol that's okay. We can go along with that. Believe me people. These are real these statistics are real
But wouldn't it be something if I came in here from Boston and I said to you watch what I'm gonna do people
I'm gonna get rid of this. I'm gonna get rid of the three point three million teenage alcoholics
I'm gonna get rid of your leading cause of death
I'm gonna get rid of that statistic eight to nine thousand a year and I'm gonna stop the number one killer facing you that
Kills you at one an hour by saying this watch
If you drink brain cells are gonna die and your buddy over here is gonna say
What are you worried about you got a million?
What's one or two?
He's dr. Well be right. I'm gonna go over to this guy
I'm gonna say if you drink cirrhosis of the liver you're gonna say no kidding coach. I learned that in the fourth grade
Oh, all right. I'll go over to you guys and I'll say if you kids smoke grass, you know, what's gonna happen?
You can have carcinogenic
Affection go into a shell become a funny person and you're gonna say you want to know more about it
I know about the drug I'd learn that in the fourth fifth sixth seventh eighth and ninth grade
Don't keep telling me about this. So what you're really saying to me is this thank you, but no
Thank you watch the results of us pounding away at you and telling you this look at they say 87% of the kids drink
Before they graduate from high school. Can you imagine that?
87% of the students across the country drink before they get out of high school. They say 93%
Of the girls drink before they get out of high school. So what you're really saying to me is this thank you, but no
Thank you. Thank you, but no, thank you
I'm gonna do my thing
But I can't believe this people and I want you all to look at me because I believe in you this much
I can't believe you want to drink like this
Become an alcoholic die at eight to nine thousand a year and have the number one killer facing you and killing you off at one
An hour. I can't believe you want to die and take your friend. I can't believe you want to die and take this girl
I can't believe you want to die and kill your buddies with you
I can't buy that and I know you understand about the law and I know you understand about drugs
But something out there is making you go after this and challenge death
But we're really saying is you drink you drive and you die
But you know, I don't know this school. Let me see if this school is like the schools across the country
Let's see if you can respond to this and be very honest with me, please
I just left Florida and before that I went to California and I can guarantee you the same thing is gonna happen here
Don't you dare make fun of the way I talk because we're right and you people are wrong. We're from Boston
We do everything right? All right. Now, I'm gonna say some words. Don't you laugh at them now by a show of hands
Do you kids have parties in this area? Parties are gatherings of friends. Do you have parties in this area?
If you do put your hands up, let me see it. Oh my goodness you party in the area
All right, put your hands down
All right. Let me ask you this question at these gatherings of friends or parties that you go to
Did you ever see liquor being served at those parties that you go to if you've seen liquor put your hands up. Let me see it. Oh
Look at these guys. They want to roll. They're gonna get a hundred for the first time. I got this one down coach
I'm with you. All right. Now, let me ask you this question
At these parties that you know of that you go to
Where liquor is being served? Have you ever seen kids driving from those gatherings?
Under the influence of alcohol if you have please put your hands up. Let me see it
Oh my goodness, put your hands down
All right. Let me ask you the key question and look up here when I ask you this question
Do you believe that drinking and driving that combination is bad and should stop especially in your age bracket right here?
Do you believe if you do, please put your hands up. Let me see it drinking and driving that combination. Isn't that an
Incredible look at this put it up there. Don't be afraid of it. Give me this one
All right. Now, isn't that amazing? All of you said this to me. Watch how loud and clear you said this
You said sure. Mr. Anastas. We have parties in the area, which they say across the country
Sure, we have liquor at those gatherings
Sure, we see kids driving under the influence of alcohol and you all said this very loud and clear didn't you?
We don't believe drinking and driving that combination is good. We believe it should stop
You know what? I love about coming into a high school like this. All four groups are here
You've got them all you've got the Bomars. We call them the brains. They're all sitting here going
I'm with you 100 percent. Mr. Anastas. I think drinking and driving is bad
All right
You got all the little oh
Yeah, I've never seen so many you got all the little alligator people the preppies all over the place here sitting down
Good God, you got 19 layers of clothes on look at this one. Look at this one here
14 layers of clothes you're sitting there trying to get up. You're all going. I'm with you 100 percent
And look at this
You got I love this group. You got the jocks here with the 17 inch necks going
I don't know what he's talking about, but I'm with him. Anyway, you know, look at them. They're going I'm on a roll
All right, and then because your teacher told me there aren't too many. I always check this out. You got the fourth group the burnouts
Not too many are here
But isn't it amazing how all four groups of you respond in a very positive way every group in this building wherever you're from
Said to me very loud and clear
We don't think drinking and driving is a good combination of stuff
I didn't see one of these guys stand up and say timeout coach. I think drinking and driving. It's great. I
Think that combination is super. We should learn how to drive drink kill ourselves and our friends
Of course, you don't say that you think it's great. Then. Why is it your number one killer if you don't like it
Why is it here?
Think of that for a minute. Why is it taking you at one an hour eight to nine thousand a year?
And why does it become your number one killer? Well, we have found out in this program by talking to thousands of you is this
People death has been camouflaged two ways for you, and I want you to pay attention to what I'm going to say
Death has been camouflaged two ways. It's been taking you like this. It's almost as if the devil has been coming up and saying hey
I'm going to pick you off left and right
You don't even know what's happening and the two ways are very simple one and please pay attention
One is lack of communication between you and your parents the other one is peer pressure
You're under every single day to do the things you don't want to do
But you do because your friends make you do it and you know something
I'm going to prove it to you before I finish but before I do that I want you all
To pay attention to why I'm here
I want you to understand why we put a lot of miles on the road to talk to high school kids
Because I'm telling you people this statistic became real to me
You know I was complacent just like you people are and I said well
What am I going to do they die at one an hour eight to nine thousand year?
I can't do anything about it until finally this happened and listen I
Was coaching two boys one boy was 17 years of age who was a junior in high school?
And I want every single person to listen to this because I want you to see how death took this guy just like this
And I had another boy that was 19 that we had sent off to college
And you know as a high school hockey coach you become very very tight and close to your athletes
Just as your football coach or any coach would be and this one boy this one
17 year old boy was probably the only athlete that I've had that I can honestly tell you right now
Could have been a professional athlete just like this
Very few guys sitting in this audience are girls are being offered a $40,000 worth $40,000 scholarship right now as a junior
When you get schools like BU
Boston College Northeastern University coming down to you and saying coach all I want is this guy to graduate. I want him
And all he has to do is graduate from high school. Well. You know that junior year
He came to me, and he said coach. I've seen the light. I'm not going to drink as much
Notice what he didn't say. I'm going to stop
He said I'm not going to drive my automobile as fast and I said well by God you're finally seeing the light I
Said I want you to go home
I want you to work all summer and I want you to work at this because kid you've got the potential to go
Well, let me tell you that was June 30th, and I want you to follow this scenario very closely
I got a call on the 4th of July from the co-captain of the hockey team
The boy would have been the co-captain with him, and he said coach. You're sitting down
And I said yes, what is it?
And he said he's dead
He said what are you talking about? I just talked to him three days ago four days ago
This is the kind of a kid you could not knock off his feet
This is the kind of a kid you couldn't knock down
This is the kind of a kid that could score a goal when you needed it
This is the kind of a kid with quick fast reflexes and a very bright boy
And I said my God how did it happen?
And here's the scenario right here
He was at a gathering of friends like you people do two or three hundred strong. You know how you have your little parties?
And I'm sure there was beer wine whiskey all over the place or whatever
And I don't know if he was drinking or not, but I will say this
At 11 o'clock he noticed that you kids have had this happen to you
It's 11 o'clock and my dad said get the automobile home in the yard at 11 o'clock
Now he has a choice to make do I jump in the automobile and drive home fast? I'm 10 miles away
I'm not going to make it. Do I pick up the phone and call my mother and say mom can I have an hour?
No
Do I pick up the phone and call my father who should be my best friend and say dad can I stay overnight? No
Do any of his friends that he plays football with hockey with and any of his classmates right here come up to him and say
You can't drive tonight. No
Do any of the girls that are friends of his that go to classroom every day take a minute of their time to say to him
Hey, you can't drive stay here
No, it didn't happen the little girl that he had an argument with that night that she'd come up to him and say
Hey, you can't drive. I'm sorry. Please don't do that. No
So he did with you guys do and all of you girls do he challenged death and he lost
He jumped in the automobile. He drove 90 miles an hour. They say down through our little town
He hit a fog bank blew right through the fog bank hit a tree
And when he hit the tree
He blew himself right off the pasture door and he broke his neck and died right there
And I want every single one of you to look up here when I say this to you
People when you're dead at 17, you're dead at 17
I know it sounds stupid, but I'm going to underline it because I know there are people that can't digest this yet
When you're dead at 17, buddy, it's over
You know, I didn't believe it. I went to a wake and I saw this that statistic
I went to a wake and I saw a boy lying in a coffin 17 not a bruise on his body
And I saw this what a demonstration you girls put on and I want you to pay attention to what I'm going to say here
Because I get very angry at this. I observed you all walking in with your white dresses and your red roses
You know how you do it and you put it on the coffin
And I felt like saying every single one of you and I'm going to say it now
Honey, take your roses and leave
This is not the time to help. I know you mean well
It's not the time to help
Two days ago, you should have worked with this guy
And then I saw all the athletes pour in like you guys
Some of them couldn't come into the wake
Some of the guys walking up to the casket and saying right into the casket
What the hell are you doing dying on me, buddy?
Because they were very angry
Because it's hard to understand this
And some of the guys coming up and crying and sitting with me
And saying things like this
Coach, why?
And all I said to them is what I'm going to say to you
Sounds crude and rude
But I simply said this
Hey, why not?
If you challenge death, buddy, it's going to take you just like this
You challenge it, it'll take you
You know something, people?
I heard something at that wake though that was very interesting
I heard a lot of this
And I want you to pay attention
Because it really turned my mind
I heard a lot of you kids saying this
We could have prevented this
And it dawned on me there's something being said here
We shouldn't have allowed this
Then I heard some parents saying why don't they call when they're in trouble?
And I said, well, what can I do?
If I tell them not to drink, they do it anyway
Look at the statistics
People, three days later, the boy that we had said
We had sent off to college on a hockey scholarship
19 years of age
Picked up his friend, they're coming back from the Cape
I'm not saying they were drunk
I don't even know if they were drinking
But here's the message, watch how clear it is
They're coming back
The Volkswagen they're in tips over, it's a convertible
Both boys, outstanding athletes
One's a wrestler, big, powerful kid
Both boys end up with extensive brain damage
They're rushed to a Boston hospital
Do you know this is back to back?
How much can you take?
You go in there and you sit there in a vigil for three days
And watch two boys struggling for life
I'm going to tell you right now, the wrestler is alive today
But you know what? It's interesting
He doesn't have the 17-inch neck anymore
He doesn't have the big, big, big, powerful frame
In fact, he started off recovering by slurring his speech a little bit
And dragging his leg
And he was about 135 pounds if he was anything
It's almost as if it's a testimony as to what can happen when you even win
But look up here when I tell you this
I watched the other guy die for three days
I watched the boy we had sent off to college 19
Challenge death and lose again
And I saw this guy with the life-sustaining machines keeping him alive
And a doctor coming to me after the third day
And saying to me, Coach, if you see an eyelash move
Just an eyelash, let me know
Because you know what happens, you're very bright all you people
You understand after three days, the brain cells are gone
They pull the plug and let you go
And he said, it's the third day, we're going to let him go
And how would you like it if you're standing next to a girl that hears this?
A little girl that just knows him by name
And walks down to the foot of the bed and takes a needle out of her pocketbook
And sticks him in the leg a little bit to get some reaction and nothing
And then you see her do it again and nothing
And then you see her come up to you and say, Coach, he's dead
She's not a doctor, she doesn't know anything about this
When that guy died, I heard it again
All you kids said the same thing
We shouldn't have this happening, we can prevent this
And that's why I'm here right now
Because I really believe you have the power to do this
And how in God's name can you take care of something if you can't see it?
How can you take care of this number one killer if you can't attack it?
And what we're doing right now is attacking it
And I want to go through the first one with you and I'll pay attention
We're going to take care of the first part of it
The lack of communication between you and your parents
And follow along with the 17-year-old boy
And watch what happened here and watch how death took this guy
I'm going to put a circle on the board, I'm going to put you in it
I'm going to write the word self
You think of all the things that you keep to yourself that you don't share with anyone
And watch how this turns into a killer
And watch how it took these two guys
Think of the things that you keep to yourself that you don't share with anyone
Things like this, sex
Are we allowed to say that word here?
No, I didn't think so
This guy's still trying to figure out what the word means
No, no, no, it's all right
Hang in there, all right
Sex, drugs, boy-girl relationships, you got them, right?
I was in a little, little school way down in the southern part of the country
Where a little girl came up to me after the presentation and said
Mr. Anastas, I'll tell you something
I almost killed myself
I said, my goodness, what happened?
She said, well, I thought I was pregnant, watch
Watch what happens, here it is right here
And I said, what did you do?
She said, well, I found that I wasn't pregnant
Obviously, I didn't commit suicide, but I feel terrible about me
And I said, well, here's what I want you to do
I want you to talk to someone intimate in your life about these things
And she said, okay, because the intimate person around you is the next group
And that's the person you talk to about everything
And that's how you get this release of tension
Who's the intimate person in your life now?
Watch, where is mommy and where is daddy right now?
Where is your mother and your father?
Can you go home right now and say to your father, daddy, daddy, daddy dear
Put the paper down, put the coffee aside
I want to talk to you about a sexual concern I have
Right?
He'd say, what are you kidding me?
Don't hang around with this guy anymore
Can you go home tonight and say the same thing to your father?
Can you go home to your mother and say these things?
It's very tight, isn't it?
It's hard to do that
Because you know why?
You keep that stuff away from your parents
And you don't do that
Watch what happens though after
When you don't talk to your mother and father
You go to the next circle of people around you
And these people are called friends
And watch again how this turns into a killer
If you can't tell your mother and father, you go to your friends
Can you trust all your friends?
Some, sure
Can you trust all your friends?
You don't even have any friends, are you kidding me?
You got this guy, he's your bodyguard
Alright, can you trust all your friends?
And then we have a classic statement, don't we, as parents?
Don't your love with parents do to foul up the word more?
Watch this
We say this to you
And that's why you keep your friends away from us
We say things like show me your friends
And I'll tell you what you are
What the hell does that mean?
Does that mean if you come home with a
You come home with a girl, you're lucky
If you come home with a goofy looking girl
You must be goofy, right?
I'm only kidding
If you come home with a goofy looking girl
You gotta be goofy, right?
You come home with a goofy looking guy
You're goofy
So what you do is you do what my son does, I love it
He's a sophomore, right?
He says to me, Dad
I have the greatest friends in the world
I said, is that right?
He said, you better believe it
I played football
And the nicest kids in the world play football
I said, Willie, I coach football
He said, no, no, no
This team was unusual
They were just nice
I said, oh
He said, you know, Dad, I play hockey
And I think the nicest kids in the world play hockey
I said, Willie, I coach hockey
Then he said, you know, I went to that party last week
And I said, don't tell me
The nicest kids in the world were at the party, right?
And he said, how'd you guess it?
Who's he kidding?
It's a big lie, isn't it?
Of course there are other kids there
But you don't let me know about those kids
Because you're afraid
And watch how, again, it turns into a killer
Out here, way out here
Are people called acquaintances
They don't do much in your life
And then way out here
Are people called strangers
Like me
Would you tell me all the intimate things in your life?
He doesn't know what the word means
He's struggling with it
I don't want to know
Would you tell me all the intimate things in your life?
No
Would you?
No
Would you guys?
Why wouldn't you tell me?
Because you're afraid I might laugh at you
Degrade you
Humiliate you
Whatever
So you keep it away from me
Now watch what happens
And watch how it turns into a killer
Think of your mother and father right here
When they were the intimate people in your life
And watch what happened to these two guys that died
You really got to go back in time, don't you?
Think
When was mommy and daddy really intimate in your life?
It's way back
When you were like in elementary school
And watch what happens
And watch how it turns into your killer
What's your name?
Michael?
All right, we're going to take Michael back
Watch what happens to Mike
And watch what happens to all of this
And watch how it took the two kids that I'm talking about
Here's Michael
Right here
Here's mommy and daddy
We're going to take Michael back to kindergarten
Watch
And watch how it turns into a nightmare
Little Michael goes to kindergarten
Can you see him coming home now?
Little fat little Michael walking in the house
He's got his short pants on
His nose is running
He's got the pail
The whole nine yards
He walks in
He says, mommy, mommy
He's really intimate now
Watch this
Mommy, I did everything in school today
And mommy says, Mikey, what did you do?
Mikey says, I got a down pat, mom
Watch this
I learned how to go to the right bathroom
I learned how to zip
Forget that
I learned how to have lunch, recess
I had everything down
I played with the kids in the yard
And mommy, look what the teacher did
The teacher gave me a paper with a pumpkin on it
Remember these pumpkin papers?
Michael writes one and one equals three
Who cares?
Your mother took the paper anyway
What'd you do?
Right on the refrigerator door
Pow!
There he is
Michael's a genius
All over the board
Michael's there
Misspelled words, additions wrong
Who cares?
That goes up until about the eighth grade
What a beautiful life
How about at night?
Wasn't it beautiful?
It's Winnie the Pooh time
He jumps in his pajamas
He tucks in bed
He's in a little first grade
Mommy comes down and rubs his back
Puts him to bed
She says, Mikey, say your prayers
And little Mikey says, you better believe it
God bless mommy, God bless daddy
God bless the principal, superintendent
God bless everybody in the world
Because he loves everyone
There's nothing going on in this kid's life
That he can't share
You see it?
Now watch
What grade are you in?
Senior
I love it
That's 12th grade
Give it up, baby
You'll get out of here
12th grade
Watch this now
Watch the difference in this world that we live in
Now watch his mother and father
Watch the journey they're gonna take
No more intimate
They're not even friends
They're moving way out here
To what we call strangers and acquaintances
Watch
He's gonna come home today from school
He's gonna walk in
And mommy's gonna say, Mike
What'd you do in school today?
Nothing
Isn't that brilliant?
You went to school from eight to two
And nothing happened
You got it, mom
All right, Mike, what'd you have for lunch?
I have no idea
They camouflaged it
We just eat it
Oh, that's not bad
You spent a buck for that
Yep
How about this one?
Michael, what are you getting on your tests?
You took a test with a math freak, right?
Yes
What are you gonna get for your mark?
I can't tell your mom
They curve the grades
You see how you play games with us all day?
And then I love it at night
Oh, you really play the game at night
Say, Dad
Watch this brilliant conversation with my son
Dad, can I have the keys to the car?
Sure, Mike
Here, Mike
Where you going, Mike?
Ready for the answer?
Out
I didn't think you were gonna drive around the living room, kid, right?
That's brilliant
Okay, Michael
Now I'm gonna tell you all the negative things
Don't pick up funny people
Don't go to those parties
Don't drink and drive
Don't you dare drink, period
Don't drive fast and be home at 11
He says, you got it down, Dad
Now watch this
11 o'clock he pulls in
He's gonna come in the house
And before he sits down
I'm gonna do what every father should do
Go out and check the odometer
The odometer's gonna tell me how many miles Michael has gone with my car
I only paid $15,000 for it, right?
I filled it up with gas
I'd like to know where he's going
I look at the odometer and it says 400 miles
So why shouldn't I walk in and say
Ready?
Michael, where have you been?
Ready?
No place
No place?
That's right
Who were you with?
No one
Isn't that a wonderful thing?
Michael, did you have fun?
I had a ball
Listen to the conversation
I've gone no place 400 miles
I've been with absolutely no one
And I'm having a hilarious time
All right, there's something wrong with this guy
Now, I love this one
Now you go into phase two of your act, which I love
Because it's getting heavy
The conversation gets heavy now
Now I'm gonna ask you some real heavy questions about drinking
Now you're gonna mimic me
This is phase two
Phase two of your act
Michael, were you drinking?
And look at me and go
Was I drinking?
I just asked him that, right?
Michael, were any of your friends drinking?
Were any of my friends drinking?
What is this?
And he beats me right down to the pulp to a point where I say
Michael, go upstairs and go to bed
Can you see Michael going upstairs now?
Gets up in his room and gives him this one here
Then he goes
The old man downstairs knows nothing
And I'm thinking I am raising the biggest liar in the world
And he's right upstairs, but I can't get to him
You see what he's done to me?
Watch
He's made me believe he's here
He's made me believe he doesn't drink, do any drugs
Hang around with bad kids, do anything wrong
And I'm gonna believe it
Because he won't let me in the intimate world
Now watch what happens
Think of that 17-year-old boy
Watch
He's at that party
There are friends there I wouldn't approve of if I was his father
Maybe there's liquor there
Maybe, God forbid, he's had a drink
Now he has a decision to make
Do I call my father and tell him this?
Do I blow the image?
We haven't made an agreement about this
We haven't talked about this stuff
He hasn't noticed all this stuff at all
He thinks I'm back in kindergarten
I'm not gonna do it
I'm gonna challenge death because I can't lose him, 17
Watch this
How many times have we heard things like this?
My daughter? She doesn't do that
My son? Never did that in his life
Must be someone else
You see how you've convinced us?
And then you get to the crossroads of your life
You make a decision and your decision is
I'm not gonna call
So you jump in the automobile and you take your shot at it
And that's why you're dying like this
But what about this one?
The peer pressure
The pressure to make you do the things you do
And you really don't want to do it
How can I, for example, make Michael feel good?
If he doesn't want to drink tonight, forget it
How can I get his buddy to walk up and say
Look, I made an agreement with my dad
I'm not gonna drive an automobile drunk
I'm not even gonna drink anymore if I don't want to
How can I get you to feel like you want to be you
And not be pressured by anyone?
The first thing you gotta do is feel good about yourself
And I don't think you're intimate right here
I don't think you're comfortable with each other
Watch
And watch the example in this room
I'm gonna put this on the board
I'm gonna put up here six squares light
And I want you to go through this with me
And watch how uncomfortable you are
And watch how this becomes a killer too
Think
I want you to take this and use this
It's gonna be something you're gonna wear on your shirt
Michael's gonna put it right on his shirt right now
It's gonna be like a family crest you're gonna wear
And watch what happens
Think of the one thing you're good at
Not that, Mike
Whatever it is, forget it
You gotta watch this guy's eyes
Alright, number two
Think of the one thing you're bad at
The one thing you're not good at at all
What is it?
Watch
Number three
I'm gonna give you all a color chart
I'm gonna say to you, choose a color that best represents you as a person
Watch what happens here
And defend that color
Now watch
Number four
I'm gonna say to you, Michael, and everyone
If you don't like who you are, change it
Be someone else
Watch
Number five
I'm gonna give you all the time and all the money
I'm gonna say go any place you wanna go
Do anything you wanna do, watch
And the last one, I want all of you to do this
I'm gonna put a tombstone up here
I'm gonna put Mike on it
I'm gonna ask Michael to give me three words that best describe him
So I can put it on the tombstone
So people can see Michael
And three words that best describe him
Now watch what happens
I want some of you to do this for me here
I want one person
First we'll work with this section over here
The lower part
I want a person to come up here and stand in front of all your friends
And say to your friends, here I am
I wanna show you who I am
I wanna go over all this with you
Watch
Give me one person in this section here
Don't fall over each other people
Take your time
I don't want anybody to be injured
You wanna come up?
Come on
Alright, one
Two
Now I wanna come to the heavies right here
Look at this group
Michael, come on up
Alright, can I have some of you people here?
Who wants to come up in this group?
Wanna come up?
Alright
Watch what happens when I ask you that
Very strange thing took place
Pay attention now and watch
I said to you, please
Give me someone to come up here
From this group
That can talk about the intimate world they live in
Because that's what we're talking about
And automatically in this group I saw heads go down like this
Oh my god, he's talking about me
And I saw a couple of people over there going
Hey
Take him
I love that one
This poor guy didn't even know he was being accused
Then I went over to this group over here
And Michael goes, oh no, you're not gonna do it, are you?
And I said, Mike, get up here and you get up
And his buddy said, take him
Right? Now watch
Why didn't you come up?
What? You can't find the way
Two steps, you're up here
How simple can it be? Why didn't you come up?
Why didn't you come up?
You washed your hair, you took your braces off
You look nice today
Why didn't you come up?
Watch this
Why didn't you come up? Me, coach?
I don't want to go up there and make a fool of myself
Watch this, the whole football team, they can't move
They're all stuck
Why didn't you come up?
Well, you know
I'll tell you why, okay? Watch
Isn't it amazing how you can sit here with a guy
Who goes out there and bangs his head on the football field
Does all these things
Thousands of people, and I asked him to get up here
To find out, just to
Give us all an explanation of who you are
And he says, that's tough
I can't do that, but I can perform out there
You know what it is? You're afraid
You're afraid some of them might laugh at you
Degrade you
Humiliate you, make fun of you
The whole thing is right here, isn't it?
You get up here and they're gonna say
My God, look at her up there, making a fool of herself
So what you do is
You tuck yourself away in the crowd
Just the way you are right now
And what you do is you feel comfortable
Being tucked away in the crowd
Because no one can single you out
Watch what happens at your parties, same thing
You go to your little gatherings, everybody's drinking
Why not?
Everyone's driving drunk, why not?
Everyone's going out there and practically doing
What they want to do, but only
Because your friends are making you do it
So you say, why not?
Is feeling comfortable
What I'm saying to all of you is this
And I'm saying this specifically to a guy like Mike
Watch, if he's my son, I'm saying this
I don't want to know your whole world, buddy
But I want one thing very clear to you
And I want you to get this clear
To your parents
The world you live in is yours
But there are moments when you're gonna need us
Just like those two boys needed
Their fathers
Or their mothers
And you better start opening this little world up a little bit
And I don't care if there's a friend you don't approve of
Or I don't approve that's at your party
And maybe you've had a beer
But I don't want you to challenge death, buddy
I want you to pick up that phone and call
Because I'll come and get you
And you know something?
The world you live in here
That whole thing, that cycle
I don't want you to be ashamed of it with your friends
I want you to feel comfortable
And I want all of you
To be intimate about one subject
Watch how simple it is
We're not asking you to share everything, are we?
We're saying you unite across the country
With the rest of the kids
And be united on one subject
That you will not drive and drink
You will watch your friends
And you will not allow it to happen
That's the unity you need
It's so simple, it can work
And it's working
You know when you go to a place like Long Island
And you see for the first time in 40 years
Not one high school kid died up there
During the Christmas break, you know it's working
When you go to Massachusetts
You see the death rate cut in half
You know it's working
So what I'm saying to you is all of you band together
And it's so simple to do it
How do you do it?
You set the sad chapter up in this school
And what you do with the sad chapter is you unite
And you get all you kids to believe in one concept
You will not allow your friends
To drive drunk
You will police each other
It's like I'm saying to you this
I'm going to turn my son over to you
And say you keep him alive
Because I don't know how to do it
But I want you all to police each other
You know why? Because you drink at the parties
I don't
You drive the cars drunk, I don't
And you know every single person
That is vulnerable
To get into a situation
Where he or she could kill themselves
And you're the one that can stop it right now
And what do you do in the school?
You talk to the junior high
You set up your junior prom program and your senior week
You do the activities to keep each other alive
You do what the kids in New York and one of the schools did
Four years in a row
Kids died because of drunk driving
And they had their pictures in the yearbook
You know how you put in the yearbook in memory of?
That's a tough page kids
And when you see it in there because of a
Drunk driving accident
You do what the kids in New York did
This year not one kid died
And they're going to put in that yearbook
Instead of dedicating it to a kid
They're going to put sad
They're going to tear that page right out of the book
And they're going to say no more
We don't want to tear it right out of the book kids
We don't need that page in your yearbook
Not for that cause anyway
And the second part of the program
Is you get the community
In this area alerted to what you're doing
You wake them up
And you get them behind you
And the third part of the program is right here
And this is the part of the program where you get
Thousands of letters a day just on this
And this is that contract of life
That we talk about
You know if this contract of life was out
When that 17 year old boy
Was challenging death that I told you about
He'd be sitting right here now
If he had agreed
Or if any one of those kids had agreed
With their dads or their mothers
If there was some form of communication
Going on they wouldn't be challenging death
And all this contract simply says is this
As a teenager I agree
That if I'm ever in a situation
Where I have been drinking or a friend has been drinking
Then I will call for safe sober transportation home
If this guy's my son
All I want him to do
Is give me that much
I'm not condoning drinking
What I'm saying is I'm reacting to reality here
And the second part of the program is this
Your father and mother will agree
They'll come and get you
And they won't hassle you
They'll thank God you're home
And they'll put you to bed and they'll talk about it later
And I want everyone to look up here
You're saying sure we can do that
But there's always that one kid that puts his head down
You know you might have
This happen to you
That one person out there we're looking at
Maybe your father's an alcoholic or your mother
And you might have this happen
Where it might be wrinkled and stuck
Right in your face just like this
But your mother and father are probably
Saying to you right now are the loudest
Words you'll ever hear
Without even saying a word
What they're saying to you is I can't play this game
With you, maybe I'm an alcoholic
And I can't, don't you tell me what to do
And maybe I don't want to know your whole world
Because I'm afraid of you
Maybe that's the stuff you're hearing loud and clear
Well you do what the little girl in Oregon did when I did that
She stood right up in front of
Two thousand kids, she turned around
To her peers and she said this
And I'll never forget it
She said Mr. Anastas and every one of you
Listen to me, if my father does that
I want to unwrinkle it
And I'm going to make him sign it
Because my mother died
And my father's an alcoholic
And I cannot lose him
And she was a freshman in a little
School in Oregon
She reversed the whole thing and turned it around
You know people I have a lot of faith in you
And I believe in you
And that's why we started this program
And if you believe the way I believe
That you can eliminate the number one
Killer facing you
By not always working with
The adults, but working with yourself
And if you believe you can eliminate
The number one killer facing you
By banning together
And if you believe the way I believe
All you have to do is unite
And give a minute of your time to each other
Then I want you to do this
If you believe in you
And you can ban together with the other kids across the country
Then I want you to make a commitment to your friend
And yourself right now
By standing on your two feet and saying
I'm going to give it a shot, I'm going to work
With my peers and my friends no matter where I am
To care for each other
And not let this take us anymore
If you believe in you, please
Get on your feet right now, let me see it, let's go
You know something, I haven't been in a school yet
I haven't been in one system yet
Where a kid hasn't stood up
And the reason you stand is because
You believe in yourself
Please, you join with me
For the best of life is yet to be
And God bless you
And thank you so much for listening
My fault
And I'm saying to every single kid in the country
You owe it to your friend
To give a minute of your time
To each other
That can create a lifetime
For that individual
Thank you