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I can't forget those crackers for Cece.
You gotta go by that gourmet oil store and get the oil.
I'm in charge of the condiments.
I have to bring my bathing suit.
Lauren tells me I have to wear a bathing suit for the hot tub party.
Honey, would you like to be with me today?
Sometime today.
It's hot.
Mmm, yeah.
You're definitely gonna need to take some time off today.
I'm gonna be gone all week.
What are you gonna do?
Dream.
What about you?
Oh, yeah.
What about you? Oh, yeah.
I'm not gonna wait, Andy.
I'm not gonna wait for you.
Mmm.
We go out to dinner, and all he's doing is talking about his ex the entire time.
Right?
And I'm saying, you know, if you're over her, then why does it keep bothering you?
I mean, I just don't understand this guy.
So I'm sitting there, and he's like looking, and he goes,
Oh, God, I think that's her. Don't look.
Oh, man, I'm gonna tell you what.
Look.
Holy cow.
I'll bet they're from one of your new boyfriends.
Oh, what are you kidding me?
Not in a million years.
Let me see.
For so many reasons and for no good reason, have fun this weekend.
I'll be thinking of you.
Andy.
Oh, they're beautiful. Look at them.
Can I have the chocolates?
Andy?
Yo.
Bruce. Sorry to bother you.
It's okay. How are you, buddy?
I can't complain.
So, what's up?
Do you know where the girls are?
And what is going on?
As far as I know, they're helping out a friend.
All the good ones are taken. Andy must be the last decent single guy on earth.
Dating hell, huh?
If I spend one more evening with one more jerk, I'm gonna lose it.
Anyway, everything is terrific here, Lauren.
Oh, great.
I do recommend the lobster, though. It's terrific.
Is that right? Do you like seafood overall?
See, there's the boss waving at me again.
If he comes over to talk to us, I'll get rid of him fast because this is our night.
Oh. Well, that's okay. He's actually quite a nice man.
No, he's busy. He's got a whole Friday night to take care of.
And I have a whole date with you to take care of, which is my pleasure.
So anyway, what I was saying before was, so this guy, I'm sitting in the restaurant right here,
and he thinks he's his ex-wife and all this kind of stuff, and I'm sitting here, and I ask him,
I said, have you ever gone to therapy over this? You know what I'm saying?
Hey, is this for me or...?
No, this is for you.
Oh, baby.
And how's your dinner this evening?
It's fine, thanks.
Great. Thank you.
Thank you.
Thanks.
Sometimes I wish they'd just let us have our time together.
It reminds me of my ex. He was always worried about stuff.
And on top of that, she could never make up her mind. I was very impressed.
And you just picked that chicken and...
Thank you.
She would take ten minutes to decide what she wanted, if it was going to be medium rare, rare, whatever.
And then when they brought it at the last minute, they'd, do you mind if I have a salad?
And then she wouldn't be able to make up her mind about the salad dressing.
The other night, this guy, I go out with this wine aficionado, right?
Oh, and he just knows everything about Merlot and where the grapes were squished
and how bitter they get and wonderful they taste.
Oh, my God.
Did you know that a human can smell actually 350 times more things than they can taste?
Really?
Yeah. I mean, you can look at color and you can look at all the wonderful robe
and you can watch the legs run down the glass,
but unless you smell the wine, you really can't totally appreciate it
because color tells you kind of what you're going to get,
but then the aroma really tells you what you're going to taste.
Color doesn't tell you nearly as much. So, cheers.
Cheers.
Oh, I didn't even ask you. Do you like red wine?
Oh, yes.
Oh, good. Because I just ordered two bottles. I mean, two glasses of...
Two bottles would be too much.
Yeah, that would be quite a lot.
But two glasses, yeah. Pinot noir, because it's my favorite.
He won't let me get a word in Edgewise.
It was nauseating. I couldn't say a thing.
You're being a little dramatic, don't you think?
Oh, you have no idea.
I'm telling you, I don't even know what to look for in a man anymore.
By the end of this weekend, I promise you that Lauren Connolly will know what she wants in a man,
have a foolproof strategy,
I'm meeting the man of her dreams,
and know exactly what's holding you back from getting the love you deserve.
Honey, you've been watching too much daytime TV.
Make fun of me if you like.
But Cece and I have decided that you are our mission this weekend, okay?
Where is Cece? She's usually here before any of us.
I know, with dinner. I'm starving.
You know what they say.
Food is a substitute for sex.
Hey, thanks. I hadn't noticed.
So do you know where my wife is?
Sure. I suggested the place.
A place with no phone.
Well, you know women, how they like to get together and talk.
Hang out. Figure out what they can change about us.
Yeah, it seems like such a waste of time.
Try it. It's great.
Eat it.
This is great. It's terrible.
It's not terrible. It tastes awful.
I can't believe that man.
Schedule a dinner with his boss,
and a whole weekend of appointments without telling me.
Hello to you too.
And on top of that, he didn't write down our weekend in his calendar,
and had the nerve to be mad at me for leaving.
Girlfriend, would you like to talk about it?
What's the use? He's a selfish inconsiderate.
Wait a minute.
We're talking about the same dreamboat of a husband
that you've been married to for how long?
Too long.
We used to have such fun, even when we argued.
That was delicious, baby.
Oh, thank you, baby. I'm glad you liked it.
I'm so full here.
I'm going to stack them for you so that you can do them,
and I'm going to make it easier for you, okay?
Okay. I'm going to do them later. I'm going to do them in the morning.
Oh, no, you're not. Uh-uh.
No. Uh-uh.
Because we've been through this before.
You never do them in the morning.
I know, but I promise you, and you know that I will do these dishes in the morning.
No.
How about if I give you a nice back rub?
Baby, our deal was that I cook and you wash the dishes.
I have been standing up for the past three hours.
I came home from work. I worked too. I cooked.
But you know I'm going to do the dishes, right?
No, I know you're not going to do the dishes.
I'm going to do the dishes. How about if I give you a back rub
and give you a nice foot massage?
When?
Later on.
When?
And then I'll wash the dishes.
You know, ever since Bruce landed that contract,
we haven't had time for anything, much less good sex.
He keeps telling me to be patient and let things be.
Which only makes things worse.
And never works anyway.
Oh, and you know, when we do have sex, I can't even believe I'm saying this,
but it is really boring.
Yes, it is.
We haven't done this in a while.
This is good.
Oh, Bruce.
Baby, you know, Bruce, baby, you know, I like it when you take more time.
Bruce. Bruce.
I mean, do you think all marriages end up this way?
Please, that is exactly why we're here this weekend.
How to keep the romance and the passion alive.
Yeah, especially after you've been with someone a long time.
You know, Andy and I haven't been together that long,
but the other night I created this wonderful geisha fantasy.
It was my fantasy.
I did the hair, the outfit, the sushi, the sake.
And I was like, oh, wow, you look nice.
Oh, let me tell you.
Okay, this guy picks me up the other night with his red corset, right?
Oh, midlife crisis kind of thing.
Oh, God, big time.
He keeps calling me, babe, right?
He keeps calling me, and he keeps calling me.
And I'm like, oh, I'm impressed with how cool he is, you know,
and the circles he's traveled in and where he's been, you know.
Then I see his license plate.
Let me guess.
Oh, no, wait, wait, honest to God.
It read, the Iceman.
That's how cool he was, okay?
God, I want to ask him if they were at a dickhead at the DMV.
You're so bad.
You know, Lauren, I think you might be going about this whole thing with men all wrong.
You have to figure out what you want in a man, how you want to be treated.
God.
And seduced.
And then you have to make it happen.
You know, you're in control.
Baby, I just ran five miles today.
I feel like taking a jump for you all.
Oh, baby, baby, wait, no, honey, just take a shower.
Just take a smell, smell, smell.
Oh, baby, okay, yeah, yeah, baby,
but you know you've been working for eight hours and all day.
I do, baby, it's a clean sweat, but it's not clean, honey.
Honey, no, no, baby.
No, honey, just go, just take a shower, okay, and then come back, okay?
I have a surprise for you.
Okay, all right, okay.
Now you're ready for me now.
Did you take a shower?
No, I didn't take a shower.
I just put a little cologne on you.
Oh, baby, no, not cologne.
Over the sweat.
Would you like that?
Oh, honey, come on, honey.
No, because you didn't wash these before.
This is funky.
You've been wearing this for the past three weeks, though.
Honey, it's funky.
Oh, baby, come on now.
Come on now.
The sweatshirt, you know, when you sweat on top of...
But if it were clean sweat, if it were clean sweat,
baby, it's not clean sweat, okay?
Okay, okay, I'll be right back.
All right.
And then you have to make it happen.
You've got to be in control.
Just like that.
To really get close to a man,
you have to be willing to show everything,
to really open up, show pimples, warts, everything.
Oh, see, see, but first you have to find the right guy
to open up to.
You're not a Gemini, are you?
No, no.
She was a Gemini.
She was a Gemini.
What are you?
I'm Pisces.
Oh, that's nice.
Yeah, I'm an Aries.
You know, Pisces and Aries are a very nice sign together.
Really?
Yeah, sure, yeah.
No, you're not into that.
No, no.
You're not really into that stuff.
No, no, no, I didn't mean that.
She was totally into astrology.
Who?
Stephanie.
Oh, your ex-wife.
Yeah, let's not even talk about it.
It actually reminds me of a woman.
I mean, it's smooth and soft and round
and really delicious and rich and deep.
I mean, it's really nice without being too heavy.
As I think of Cabernet, it's more like a man.
It's kind of big and hard and kind of long.
It takes a long time to mature.
So...
It was nice that Tom set us up.
Yeah, yeah, very nice.
By the way, this may be a weird question,
but is that actually your real color or not?
Because Max, she changed her hair all the time
and it was actually sort of fun, you know, for a while.
I mean, you've heard of Bordeaux, right?
Oh, yes.
Did you get to Bordeaux when you were there?
No.
You didn't miss anything.
It's flat, it's ugly, it's boring.
It's like built on a marsh.
But you go to southern France
where they grow all these incredible flowers
and the wines just grow just naturally.
I mean, they don't even have to plant them hardly.
I don't drink wine every single night.
You know, I try to drink it just...
What do you mean?
You don't drink a lot, do you?
I mean, you're just...
No.
Okay.
I've had some bad experiences in the past
where people drank a lot.
Yeah.
It was not pretty.
Because big reds and Tuscany
or someplace like Piedmont, I know, right?
Right on those lovely little hills
right before you get into the Swiss Alps,
the border there of the northern Italy part.
It's gorgeous.
I mean, it's amazing.
I mean, you go there and you feel like,
ah, I've come home.
It's like heaven.
But yours is so natural.
I mean, I can't...
I mean, you look great for your age.
You really do.
Yeah.
Did I say something wrong?
No.
I mean, that's what I love about having a glass of wine
and a great, beautiful meal is that they go together
and it's like love, marriage, babies, the whole thing.
I mean, it's incredible.
I mean, it's almost better than sex.
I mean, not that sex is bad, but wine is better.
Here, here.
First, let's figure out what you don't want.
Okay.
Okay.
Um, heavy cologne, right?
Okay.
And, um...
Oh, drinks too much, you know?
I mean, being nervous is one thing.
I mean, I can understand that,
but getting drunk because you're nervous...
Oh, that's an excuse.
Yeah, if you have to get that relaxed,
you know it's a bad sign.
You know, when a man wolfs down his food,
like, eats really fast,
you know what kind of lover he's gonna be.
Just no patience.
Foreplay is everything.
And if he chews his fingernails?
Mm-hmm.
Or bites them.
Means he's anxious.
I think we might be taking this conversation
just a little bit too far.
Trust me.
Trust me.
Mm, this looks lovely.
Yeah, so, I'm so glad you decided to come out again with me.
Oh, yeah, no, it's my pleasure.
It's good to see you again.
Thanks.
Oh, it smelled pretty good.
Let's try that again.
Yeah, and you know what?
Can we just slow down just a wee bit?
Oh, sure.
But have I told you how beautiful I think you look tonight?
Absolutely stunning.
Just stunning.
Thank you.
So, it looks good on the menu.
You look good on the menu.
Uh, yeah.
Uh, let's see, what do they have here?
Uh, gee, they have some...
This color is so absolutely sexy on you.
You know, I have a bathrobe that's this very same color at home.
You're kidding.
Would you like to try it on?
No, thanks.
I have my own.
Uh, let's see.
Sure, because, oh, have I told you how absolutely beautiful you look to me tonight?
Oh, not within the last 60 seconds.
Very beautiful.
You're not one of those ladies that has rules about, oh, excuse me.
That's okay.
That's about when to go to bed with a guy or anything,
because I think you are too hot to handle.
Oh, I know what I hate.
What?
I hate when a man makes you feel obligated to have sex.
That's the biggest turnoff for me.
Withholding feelings, either because a guy's scared
or because he's afraid he's going to lose you.
Communication is the most important thing in a relationship,
but you can't bring up heavy issues before you go to bed.
Or if you're really tired.
Then you're asking for trouble.
And don't set a guy up by asking personal questions
about things we're already sensitive about.
Like our bodies.
Right, isn't that why you have on a bathing suit?
With just us in the hot tub?
Okay, say you think a guy thinks your butt is too big.
If you have had incredible sex with this man,
then you've got your answer.
He doesn't care.
He's not looking that close.
Oh, I don't know.
I know I like it when a guy is sincere.
I hate it when he says,
I love you, right away.
And he might as well be saying, pass the salt, honey.
I want to know why my man loves me.
Is it for the treats that I leave him?
Or because of the great meal that I cooked?
Or because of how I'm dressed?
Or what? Tell me something.
I love it when a man pays attention to every little detail of my body.
Every crevice.
I need time to warm up.
I mean, honey, I love you.
I think you're very attractive.
But I am not going to get wet when I see you standing in the doorway
just because you're there.
Do something to inspire me.
There is nothing like the sight of a man doing dishes.
Really? Very sexy.
Really? Yes.
There is nothing like the sight of a woman's butt in the kitchen.
I want to stand here. I think I need to get some more.
What? You're so bad.
I feel so good.
Baby, keep doing the dishes, okay?
No, I don't think so.
You're trying to get out of doing the dishes.
I'm doing a good job, too.
Mmm.
Here, let me get you a beer.
What? You're really trying to get out of doing the dishes.
Yeah, I'm really trying to get out of doing the dishes.
What are you doing?
I'm doing a good job.
You're doing a good job.
You're doing a good job.
You're doing a good job.
You're doing a good job.
You're doing a good job.
You're doing a good job.
You're doing a good job.
You're doing a good job.
You're doing a good job.
Revealing your fantasy can be scary for anybody.
Yeah, you know, maybe they think that we'll reject them.
If only they knew what a turn on it is.
I actually like it when a man tells me what turns him on.
Or better yet, shows me.
Oh, you're so bad.
I'm getting turned on just thinking about it.
It's embarrassing.
I want to know your fantasies.
Well, it's got to be something like...
This?
I want you to tell me that I can't have you.
I never say that.
You should tell me that I can't have you.
Really?
You should tell me that I can't have you.
Don't.
Say no.
It's basic.
Oh, no.
Okay, I'll try.
You know it's not my thing.
Say no.
No.
Say no.
No.
Say no.
No.
Say no.
Say no.
No.
No.
You can't have me.
Just not.
No.
No.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I love you.
I think a woman wants us to take the time to figure out what pleases her.
Wrong.
Women want strong men to support them.
And that takes time and money.
Sounds like you're carrying a lot of weight on your shoulders, old buddy.
Yeah, well, Cici and I haven't had much time for each other lately.
I know that.
We're like ships passing in the night, man.
You ever tell her that?
Yeah.
Well, I want to win this hand.
You know you are.
I am.
So what kind of body types do you like?
Me?
I don't know.
I never really thought about it.
At the agency, we hired these male models with perfect bodies, but in truth, they don't
do much for me.
Oh, please.
You know, it's been so long since I've been with anyone else.
But to be honest with you, when you love a man, it really doesn't matter.
I was just one guy at the Panache Supper Club, but I don't know, he's kind of cute.
You know?
Kind of interesting.
And different.
Waiting for someone?
No, not tonight.
What did you do with Bachelor Number Three?
Oh, you've been canning.
When will guys learn that revealing your whole life story is not the way to seduce a woman?
Especially in the first five minutes.
What goes around comes around, right?
What does that say about men?
That we ignore our part in making a relationship work.
How do you know so much?
Listen, it's part of the job.
It's a great place for research, character development.
I know what you mean.
I could write a book on what not to do on a date.
I already have.
How about lunch sometime?
We could discuss this fascinating subject, purely from a psychological standpoint, of
course.
Oh, I don't know.
I understand.
I don't know.
I mean, he's attractive, you know, but it's Hens Bar.
Champagne is great for oral sex.
Geez.
So is she mad?
So what is it?
Is he somehow beneath you or something?
I mean, do you know anything about him?
Do you have anything in common?
I don't know.
We talked a lot, you know, mostly about me, which was a nice change.
Well, at least you know he's a good listener.
Why do we look at a guy and see marriage, family, and the house we're going to live
in within 30 seconds of meeting him?
Why not become friends first and see where it goes?
I never imagined myself with someone that wasn't a professional.
And financially well off.
Okay, so there's some of that too.
So first you have to picture this, my mother, right?
It's a beautiful woman starting to gray, right?
She's on a cruise ship with her boyfriend and they're picking each other up.
I mean, they're playing these little fantasies.
One night she's a French woman and the next night she's a New Yorker where she does the
whole sophisticated, and hi.
Hi.
Ah, it's a big weekend, right?
I'll pick up Henry.
I'm off at 2.30.
I will pick him up by 3.
Don't be late.
I won't be late.
And I'm not working Sunday, so I'm home.
Thank you.
Have fun.
All right.
Bye.
I didn't know you were married.
We're had kids.
Does that matter?
Yes.
No.
Didn't you ask me out on a date?
We had lunch as friends, remember?
And you turned me down.
But what's sexy?
What turns us on?
Huh, well, sometimes the softest touch, you know, packs the most punch.
Like in a restaurant, you know, under the table, when he moves his foot up against my leg.
Or when Bruce rubs up against me and we're in a crowd of people.
Or when Andy lowers his voice about an octave and he whispers in my ear what he's gonna do to me.
You know, when a guy looks at you and you go weak in the knees and...
It just takes your breath away.
Oh, yes.
When you first meet him, it's like that.
It doesn't last.
Or, you know, when Bruce has his shirt off and he's completely unaware that I am looking at his chest and his biceps and his triceps as he walks around the house.
Oh, he's so sexy.
I love it when Andy catches me by surprise and he just takes me.
Oh, hi.
How are you doing?
Good.
I've been watching you from across the room.
Really?
Oh.
Oh, Andy.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Andy.
Oh, God.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Andy.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Have one.
The anticipation of having sex.
Letting it build.
Oh, God.
It's such a turn on.
You've got somebody in mind, don't you?
It's that Phil guy.
You know what?
I have some edible underwear that you can wear and then you can just eat it off.
Oh, it did.
You know what I'm saying?
No, who said I was thinking about anybody in particular?
Henry is your golden retriever and Heather is your ex.
Ex lover and still one of my best friends.
Oh, greeting concept but very hard to do.
Yeah, I didn't say it was easy.
But I think that once you truly love someone that never goes away.
And Heather was a big part of my life.
I'll get it back to you.
Dating isn't a contest, you know.
It's not like the one with the most entries at the finish line wins.
I have the hardest time figuring out who's right for me.
But if I don't put myself out there, how will I know?
You mind if I give you some advice?
Would it matter if I said no?
No.
If you take the time to get over the last relationship, then there's no baggage.
Then you can figure out what you really want.
Yeah, I don't want to make the same mistake again.
I learned the hard way.
Stayed in a relationship because it was easier than leaving.
After a while I didn't like myself very much.
So when we split up, I took some time off from dating.
Doesn't that get lonely?
Sure.
But it's better than making the wrong choice.
And I'm confident that the right woman will come along and see what a great catch I am.
And if she doesn't, I'll move on.
That's why you ask so many questions.
And you actually listen.
Look, it's not about what kind of work you do or how much money you make.
If you're not connected emotionally, if your heart isn't in it,
then all the money in the world isn't going to make you happy.
Would you like to dance?
Yes, I would.
I am the man that love forgot.
I am the man who never thought of losing you.
I am the man who walks alone down Mary Lane.
And now I know just why my life's a losing game.
Who said I was thinking about anyone in particular?
We're just fantasizing, aren't we?
Yeah.
Yeah, right.
She wore bed-locks down to her back, tiny gold chains kissed her smooth black skin.
Her hips, she seemed to stutter when I felt something stirred deep within.
I wanted her.
All I could do was dream of holding her for the last.
I'm just a soldier sworn to protect and serve.
Anyone could see a cheek was made for me, but only a king could possess someone so fine.
You be young queen, you'll be man.
With one hypnotic glance over all other men, she kissed her lovely brown eyes upon me.
And I saw the fire.
She spoke no words.
Somehow I heard the secrets to her deepest desire.
Yeah, yeah.
She promised me love too deep to measure for the victory in the desert, even if it cost my life.
If I should die tonight in her service, I would have magnified my purpose.
I could forever be mine.
You be young queen, you'll be man.
You be young queen, you'll be man.
You be young queen, you'll be young queen in the night.
You're so fine.
You be young queen, you'll be man.
You be young queen, you'll be young queen.
You're so fine.
You be young queen, you'll be young queen.
You'll be man.
You be young queen, you'll be young queen.
You know, you guys, all this changes after you've been married for a while.
The lovemaking becomes deeper and more tender.
And I really miss it when there's no time.
You know, doing things together, that can be great foreplay.
Like making dinner or working out or shopping.
Shopping.
Like spending time together, you know, with your partner.
Getting to know each other and enjoying each other.
You know, being apart makes you miss them too.
Oh, my little sugar bear.
No, I don't want to eat.
Honey, thanks.
Oh, boy.
Okay, time out.
Cool.
All right.
Are you watching this?
Mm-hmm.
Oh, yeah, come on, you guys.
Oh, God.
These guys are killing me.
You guys.
Oh, man, come on.
Okay, cool, that's fine.
All right, let's kick a field goal.
Come on, at least.
Oh, God.
These guys, man, why do you let me down?
Like, in the last minute.
I can't believe this, man.
I'm going to lose 50 bucks for you guys.
These guys are killing me.
Oh, man.
No.
What are you doing?
I'll see you guys later.
Okay.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
You know what's important in life?
Battery operated sex toys.
Here, here.
Dildos, bondage equipment.
Oh, no, no, you're too scandalous.
Bondage.
Oh, I don't know, I'm easy.
Just give me a piece of sexy lingerie.
How about spread rose petals on the bed?
Oh, yeah.
Laughing at me.
All right.
How about making a reservation at a cute little B&B?
Oh, yes, yes, yes.
That is so romantic.
Isn't it?
But you know what?
I will settle for doing the dishes and clearing the table.
Thank you, honey.
Thank you.
Like I said, champagne is great for oral sex.
She keeps saying that.
I never heard that before.
Is it the bubbles or what?
It must be the bubbles.
It must be the bubbles.
It's everything.
You know, I just love it when a man takes off your clothes one piece at a time.
And you can just feel his fingers slowly running down your arm, barely touching your skin.
I get goose pimples.
Oh, God, it takes your breath away when they start to take the skin underneath.
Or when he gazes at you like you were a gift from the Sultan.
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na.
And then he trails your neck with his tongue.
And it goes down the middle of your cleavage, around your navel.
And then, ooh, he ravages you.
And then he says, I must have you now.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
You look pretty nice.
I know.
You do?
So I put it on and you take it off?
Off?
Yeah.
Oh.
Oh, my God.
Take it off.
Take it off.
Get those pants off.
I can get my dress off faster than you can get your pants off.
But I tell you.
Oh, my God.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
I'm so sorry.
Somebody has to take the tough assignments, huh, bud?
See this little T-shirt?
This is one of Bruce's favorite T-shirts from college.
When I get home, you know, I won't have these pants on.
When he opens up the door, hi, honey.
Are you still mad at me?
Okay.
See if this kind of heats things up a little bit, heals the marriage.
Listen to this one.
Saint Bernard loyalty.
Nice guy who doesn't finish last.
Has everything except you.
Wants a beautiful petite...
Oh, boy.
Can he put three put two or something?
Next.
Romance by fire.
Oh, God, he's a sicko.
He's an arsonist.
I just know it.
Now, do you really think that you can meet someone in the personal ads?
Oh.
I think you have to check out all of your options.
You know what I'm saying?
Okay.
All right.
I've been married too long.
Go for it, girlfriend.
Whatever it takes.
Here it is.
Available and romantic soulmate.
Friend, teammate, lover.
The list goes on for this funny, flexible author by day.
Bartender slash counselor by night.
A plus if you like dancing, fun times, hand holding and laughing.
He seeks a beautiful redhead between 30 and 50.
A lady with those loving feelings and love of life.
And great sense of humor.
Does it have my name in there?
Hi, baby.
Hi.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry too.
I love you, honey.
Oh, baby.
Whoa.
Look at you.
Look up here.
What do you got on your mind?
Hi, baby.
I missed you.
I missed you too.
You're still the only one.
I love you.
I'm sorry, baby.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Oh, you look good.
So you don't want to know what I did this week yet?
Yeah, what did you do this weekend?
Oh, I sat in the hot tub.
I hung out with the dead.
Yeah.
Did you think about me at all?
I thought about you.
Did you miss me?
I missed you.
You still love me.
I love you.
I love you too.
I love you too.
I love you too.
I love you too.
I love you too.
I love you too.
I love you too.
I love you too.
I love you too.
I love you too.
I love you too.
I love you too.
I love you too.
I love you too.
I love you too.