Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Rush Limbaugh.
Thank you so much. Thank you.
Okay. Thank you. We love you.
I'll tell you, I love you. You don't know how much that means to me.
I thank you all very much.
That's what it's like to be me, folks. What can I tell you?
Well, hello. Welcome. We are here celebrating the release of the video that you're now watching.
And as I've often said, I get to have more fun than any human being should be allowed to have.
And now I am continuing that fun. For us, a celebration. For you, even better.
We've taken the very funniest and craziest moments from my award-winning Thrill Pack television show.
We've reorganized them from A to Z and placed them in this wonderful little box
so that you can now enjoy them right along with us.
Now, my friends, let me ask you a question.
Ask yourself, how have I lived all these years without Rush in my VCR?
Ask yourself that.
Now, I've alphabetized this video so you can easily find your favorite moments.
Not just for your own pleasure, but to help you educate that liberal clown who lives next door.
We call this collection of our funniest moments, sometimes you just gotta laugh.
These days, laughter is necessary. In fact, when you look at what some of those bozos in Washington are doing,
it's almost mandatory. Laughter is also good for you as long as you don't inhale.
Let us begin traditionally, ladies and gentlemen. I'm a big traditional person here.
We'll start with the letter A. A stands for a commodity of which America, unfortunately, has an oversupply.
Airheads. We take you now to Washington, D.C.
Everything that should be down is up. Everything that should be up is down.
They've got it upside down, and we're gonna turn it right side up, with your help.
The economy will go up and it'll go down. It'll go up and go down.
People will produce all they need, or things will change. They'll have to change the way they do it, and it'll go down.
That always happens. Up and down and up and down. Inflation will go up and it'll go down. It'll go up and go down.
If it takes a flip to throw stones at the president, they'll flip. If it takes a flop to throw stones at the president, they'll flop.
Zig and zag, flip and flop. One position today, another position tomorrow, a third position next day, a fourth position the next day.
Whoa!
When you've got a piece of fan chant, my advice is to you, don't just drop it to see if it'll break.
There's no country in Western song a little less talk and a lot more action.
Numbers in Washington don't mean anything. They're kind of like weathermen before radar.
It's like a bridge built halfway across the river. You can't get to the other side of the river. You can go to the edge and fish on it if you want to.
Now, my friends, my friends, I know that you love that.
You're probably thinking, oh, geez, they've put the best at the beginning and it's downhill. Uh-uh. We haven't done that yet.
You have not seen your favorite segment yet. After you've seen them all, you will not have seen your favorite segment because there will be another tape with even more.
But let's move on. The letter B. The letter B highlights a sad but undeniable fact.
The United States today may be the only nation in the history of the free world to have a president known as Bubba.
On several occasions in the past and more and more in recent months, I have found him helpful in the formalization, conceptualization and the communications on national security matters.
I now wanted to play a larger role, joining my team as a principal advisor in this field.
How many of you recall during the Reagan presidency that the press had the biggest time by informing you and telling you how Reagan fell asleep during cabinet meetings, and that meant he was disengaged, wasn't aware of what's going on? Watch this.
We haven't even talked about the secondary consequences of what's going on in Central Europe, which has also impacted our domestic economy close to home.
And I tell you, I would be very happy if all I had to do was have two thousands of young people right together.
Welcome.
Here to help out the Clintons that can really use the support. Thank you. Appreciate it. Help the president.
Sir, you want to give to the Bill and Hillary Defense Fund? I wish I could, but I got the same problem and nobody's helping me.
I'm 78 years old. I'm working. Let him go to work. He's got a lot of legal bills. The legal bills? Good. Stop fooling around with the women. He won't have any legal bills.
What do you think of Rush Limbaugh moving to TV?
And at the actual binoculars he looked through in South Korea with the lens caps on.
Buddy got mad at a construction site in Washington yesterday, and did he count to ten? Let's look.
Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.
You can't do that. You can't bring me out here with a layer of the congressman. I will do it now.
What was he pointing out there? This is going to be risky. Clinton, he did this. He's looking at calls. He did this and then pointed.
I want to emphasize I do not want to punish success. Stop the tape. Stop the tape. Who says that? Who have you ever heard say punish success?
Have you heard McNeil Lara say it? Have you heard Rather Brokar Jennings say it? Have you heard Maxie Shields say it?
You haven't. Have you heard anybody say it but me? What's that mean? Watching this show.
C. C supposedly stands for the voice of the people, but unfortunately however C speaks for itself. In fact, C speaks for itself again and again and again and again.
And again. Because C is for congress.
Will you get these highly made members to sit out and shut up so I can explain to the American people what's going on here?
Shut up. You all sit out and shut up.
Sit out and shut up.
Shut up.
I'm going to read out the committee's report. Fly in the face of the clear verbiage of the amendment itself.
I agree Mr. Chairman. I agree with what? I'm just looking at the language now. If you'd forgive me a moment, Sunder, I've got my papers all mixed up here.
I'm down. I'll go ahead.
Quite often you. That's understandable.
Oh no.
Come on. Come on.
Where else are you going to see this stuff, folks?
I mean sometimes you just have to laugh. And I understand the meeting is still going on.
Senator Byrd's still working on the next sentence.
Okay. The fun rolls on folks. Now the letter D. D could stand for dizzy or dazed. D could mean diluted, demented or even defunct.
Fortunately, however, we have found one D word which encompasses all of the above.
Know what it is? Democrats. Democrats is right. Here it is.
If you tell them to take up the gangplank, you'll get it. If you tell them to ignore sick people, you'll get it. If you tell them to ignore the poor, you'll get it. If you tell them to victimize young children, you'll get it.
You tell them you want a new governor, you'll get it.
When you think about what Democrats stand for today, and Bob, doesn't all this make sense?
They are a miserable lot.
I mean they are the original doom and gloomers. People always come up to me and say, hey Rush, when is there going to be a liberal counterpart to you on radio?
And I say never. And they say why? I said because when's the last one you ever heard that's having fun?
Well they don't laugh.
My friends, I never thought I'd see this day Mayflower moving vans at the Capitol. Here they are.
Most Americans are working longer days and earning third world wages.
Third world wages? And by the way, Mr. Gephardt, can I say something?
There is, I'm going to get real close here so you can't mistake me, there is nothing stealth about our attempt to defeat you guys.
It's right out in the open and as big as in your face as I am right now.
You remember when I said Harry S. Truman? The buck stops here. Bill Quentin? The buck never died here.
Alright, we're up to E. Anybody want to take a stab just off the top of your head?
Somebody said elders wishful thinking. Be patient ladies and gentlemen. Be patient.
E stands for those people out there who are protecting you from yourself.
For them our planet is the property and habitat of every living thing except for one, mankind, you.
Yes friends, E is for the environmentalist wackos.
We'd like to show you some video of people for the ethical treatment of animals which is part of the environmental movement
protesting something in Washington at the White House. Take a look at this video, I think you'll enjoy it.
That's a beaver folks. What a bunch of idiots.
Touch it, you're breaking it. Don't touch it, you're breaking the beaver. Let go.
I of course love to tweak environmentalists because the best thing about trees is when you cut them down.
The most beautiful thing about a tree is what you do with it when you kill it. When you just chop it down.
You turn them into baseball bats. You turn them into pianos.
Or you decorate them for the holiday season and to tweak. It's just a crop.
You know it's not as though we're cutting something down that's never going to come back again.
It's just a crop. It's like corn or whatever. In some cases it takes 40 years for this thing to come back again.
But it's a renewable resource. So don't feel sorry for the trees.
I mean it's not like they have hearts and brains or anything. It's not like they watch the show and are hearing me say this and are out there getting scared.
Let me show you something. See this? This is a fine alligator. You animal rights people, I hope you love this.
This used to be a slimy, greasy reptile known as an alligator. And you know what it now houses? Fine tobacco.
You know that the jungle is what they now call the rainforest. But it's a jungle.
You can't say jungle anymore because jungle has overtones of third world, isn't it? You can't say it.
It's almost a racist thing to say jungle. It's a jungle. I mean they don't sit there and say, boy it's a rainforest out there.
Now I know many of you are probably seeing me and some of these things for the first time.
You're probably a little bit surprised. You thought I was something other than what you see portrayed here.
The truth be known, I am just a harmless, lovable little fuzzball.
Oh, I mean, yes it's absolutely true.
But there are a bunch of people who would love to have you think that I'm a mean, ornery, myopic sexist.
What do you mean? Yeah.
I'm not going to let the liberals in here. We're not into diversity on this tape.
I have separated them here into their own special group. Ladies and gentlemen, these people I'm talking about, F is for feminists.
I think that we ought to stop for a minute and talk about what feminism is because I keep hearing from the media that feminism is the new F word.
I have several possible definitions to choose from. We could go with Pat Robertson.
How many of you can recite his definition with me?
During the campaign for the Equal Rights Amendment to the Iowa Constitution, he sent out a fundraising letter and he said that the Equal Rights Amendment had nothing to do with a movement for equality.
It had to do with teaching women to kill their children, leave their husbands, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.
Four out of five ain't bad.
Now there is a young feminist, an angry, bored, nothing better to do feminist who is reflecting the views of modern militant feminism.
She's on campus at UC Santa Cruz. She's supposed to be getting an education. She's supposed to be concerned about what she doesn't know.
She's an ignoramus. She's trying to become educated.
Hey, I don't look. When you're an ignoramus, it just means you're ignorant. It doesn't mean you're stupid or dumb. That's to come later and I think you'll agree with me that this person is not only ignorant but stupid.
And she is offended by these signs that show a woman in a skirt on the door to a restroom because she wears pants.
And we thought that we, ladies and gentlemen, would get into the business of suggesting possible solutions to solve this crisis.
Let's see the normal doors and there they are.
First, how about this?
Try this. This is our second alternative.
I have said once, if not once many times, I've said, you know, I love the women's movement, especially when walking behind it.
It's clever, it's funny, and it's harmless. But not to these women who are wound so tight and so bitter.
They're so angry and they're just waiting to go grab a kitchen knife and go, take that.
Now, as many of you know, I am an extremely humble man.
I find it difficult to speak of myself. I don't like that.
I really don't. I find it very uncomfortable talking about myself. I seldom do it.
Sometimes it simply must be done. Therefore, I have bowed to the will of those around me and permitted G to stand for me. Greatness.
My name is Rush Limbaugh, the poster boy for the American Way of Life.
Your vital national resource right here.
You know how frustrating it is for me to have been so right for so long about everything that's happened.
I know that I am so good at this that I make it look easy.
Many of you sitting at home think that you could do this too. You can't.
What a burden it is to be right so often, but I'll gladly carry it.
This is the only information highway you need. The Rush Limbaugh.
Get your own show if you want to tell people what you think.
There are inequities of power here. I am the host of the show.
He's camera guy. Like John here. He doesn't have anywhere near the power I have. He's just a staff nerd.
And I am telling you, ladies and gentlemen.
Furthermore, what I want to tell you is there are these inequities of power that should exist.
There have to be inequities of power.
I'm like the national debt. Nobody understands just how big I really am.
And I'm not going away anytime soon either.
H is for the smartest woman ever to trod the soil of planet Earth.
H is for the woman who rode in on that white horse to save all of us from our stupidity and incompetence.
H is for the woman who is known as Hillary.
But none of us in this room, no matter how well insured, can be guaranteed we will have the same insurance this year at the same cost next year if we do nothing to change our system.
So health security remains the primary objective and universal coverage must be the bottom line of any legislation.
Oh, right. That does it. That is not going to happen, Mrs. Clinton. Not while I'm around.
You just saw a woman, Hillary Clinton, wife, wife of the President of the United States,
who is the best example for all of you women out there to forsake feminism.
Well, what's so funny? Let me tell you what you do. Do what she did.
Find a guy who's going somewhere and hitch yourself to him and follow him wherever he goes and when he gets there, take over.
Remember when the President talked about forcing the spring in the inaugural speech? I see little green sprouts all over.
They are fragile. They can be stomped on real easy.
There can be a terrible storm like the one we're living through right now. But they're there.
Hey, Mrs. Clinton. From time to time, I find it necessary to speak out not only for myself but for others as well.
And I do so. And sometimes I do it in their voices. My friends, I is for impersonations. Watch.
Perot walks in to this meeting with the congressman, the freshman Republicans, and he says to them,
All right, let's get something straight. I'm a billionaire and you're nothing.
You guys, the only difference between you and a bag of dog manure is the bag.
I'm a billionaire. I'm a billionaire. I can do it. I can wipe you guys out with a snap of my fingers.
You won't have any prayer unless you stand out with me. And I'll put all you guys on the short list to be my VP in 1996.
But you've got to go along with me. I'll make it look like I'm going along with you, but just keep in mind, you are dirt.
You are nothing. I'm a billionaire and you don't have any. You are a lowly congressman from states where nobody wishes they lived and nobody wishes that they knew you.
They're showing Senator Huntley these pictures. And he looks at these pictures and he says,
Look at the pictures.
Well, I declare, it sure do look like the senator has done change his position on offshore drilling.
It's a joke about Ted Kennedy and a girl.
Well, I think one must, if one's going to discuss the reasons why liberals are liberals,
One must first understand that liberalism is devoid of anything to do with the intellect. In Bob Woodward's book, The Agenda, he sat down, it's reported, and he drew a square on it right there.
And Carvel said, Show me in there. Where's your center? What's he stand for?
Where is the sacred ground in there? I don't have any but health care reform in there. That doesn't count for a hill of bees because nobody want it. Where's my gumbo?
I feel your pain.
What I should have told you was that both teams were fired up. Both teams gave it every ounce of their capability.
Have you ever heard my dolphin impersonation?
Okay. The letter J has left us and gone back to Arkansas, as the letter H soon will as well.
But Dr. J deserves to linger in our memory a little longer for while she was with us, she was really something.
That's right. J, if you haven't smiled in the last couple of years, folks, if life's been really down,
This one, this, if we haven't done it yet, this portion of the table will bring you out of it. J is for Jocelyn.
Next up, the category dumbest liberal line of the year. The nominees are Jocelyn Elders, Jocelyn Elders, Jocelyn Elders, and Jocelyn Elders.
Here are the nominees. Watch, watch.
We can decide that we've got to keep the guns out of the hands of our children.
Wait, wait.
We can make safer weapons. We can make safer bullets.
What do you advocate in terms of sex education in schools? How early?
We start kindergarten. And many people tell me it's just started birth.
Our Medicaid system had to be developed by a white male slave owner.
Most of the people that die with heart disease and cancer are our elderly population.
And we all will probably die with something sooner or later.
And we've been investing certainly in cancer and heart disease. And I feel that we should continue.
I'm not downplaying that. But I'm saying that we are losing the people that's going to pay my social security.
And that bothers me.
When you're dancing with a bear, we all know you can't get tired and sit down.
You have to wait until the bear gets tired. And then you sit down.
And the winner is...
The letter K. The letter K, pardon me, those of you who have a decent education, letter K is for character.
No, no, no. I spell it that way. Because to me, character is always directly tied to Senator Edward M.K. for Kennedy.
Yes. Here he is now, ladies and gentlemen. Struggle hard. Sometimes it's difficult to understand what the Senator is saying. Listen up.
It's the fit sea spider climbs up the motor spout.
The Senator was in his office not long ago and one of his legislative aides came running in.
All panicked. Senator, Senator, what are we going to do about the abortion bill?
And the Senator goes, I guess we'll have to pay it.
Now comes the rain and washes spider out.
We told you who the rich were the other day on this show. They're you. People who have busted their tails.
They've worked 70 or 80 hours a week. They've maybe earned a lot. They don't deserve anything. They've earned it.
They call that privileged? You know who the privileged are in this country?
Senator Kennedy. All he had to do was grow up. And some say he hadn't even done that.
The fit sea spider climbs up the motor spout again.
So my advice to Republicans is to make sure there's water in the pool before they leap off their pro-business anti-regulation diving board.
Lee, a guy who drove a car off a bridge telling Republicans make sure there's water in the pool.
Now here it is. Here is Senator Kennedy as it really happened introducing President Clinton at a campaign rally recently.
And you reelect old Kennedy in the United States Senate.
We're going to start on the 96 campaign to elect Bill Clinton as our reelected Mother Nature.
Now, so here's what we did. We slowed it down.
We slowed this down and then we added a translation to this, graphics we call it, subtitles, to help us figure out what it was he might be saying.
And here's how that looks.
We're going to slow it down in the 96 campaign to elect Bill Clinton as our reelected Mother Nature.
As you can see, it offered us no help whatsoever.
As we wander our way through the alphabet in order, we're to the letter L now.
Certainly could stand for limbo or even likable.
Now what else besides limbo and likable could a lovable guy like me make the letter L stand for?
Well, let's try love.
Love is the only human emotion that you can't control, that we can't control.
You either do or you don't.
You can't today, if you want to fall in love, go out and do it.
And if you're in love and wish you weren't, you can't just wipe it out.
Otherwise, there'd be no heartbreak.
Love is the only human emotion you can't fake except women and thank God they can.
Since I'm married, I can tell married jokes now.
This guy gets home from work and his wife's packing a bag and he didn't know they were going anywhere.
He didn't know that she was going anywhere.
She says, what are you doing?
She says, I'm going to Las Vegas.
He says, why are you going to Las Vegas?
She says, because I just read that you get $400 for sex out there.
So the guy runs and grabs his bag and starts packing.
And she says, well, what are you doing?
He says, well, I'm going to Las Vegas with you.
She says, why are you going?
He says, because I want to see you get by on $800 a year.
I want you to go ahead and take the advantage and the great opportunity here of proposing national television to your beloved.
Thank you, Rush.
You bet.
Look at her, not me.
Cindy, the last four years have been a lot of fun.
It's been the best time of my life.
And the only thing I can think of to give you for Christmas, which would be comparable, would be my last name.
Will you marry me, please?
Yes.
Oh, she said, you said yes?
OK, too late.
No, that's great.
That's great.
But can we do it again?
OK.
Can I show you how to do it?
Can I show you how to do it?
I know you're nervous.
National TV, you're not a big star like I am.
So it was a very intimidating thing.
But here's how you do it, Cindy.
I don't believe any of this.
I'm just pretending.
Cindy, the last four years of my life have meant more to me than any of the previous 22.
And I know that I don't have maybe everything I'm going to have, but I do have my heart.
And my heart is totally, totally devoted to you.
And it would be the absolute wish of the heavens if you would say yes to my offer and request,
heartfelt as it is, for marriage.
Will you marry me?
Yes.
Now see, that.
Thanks.
Let's go.
Let's go.
No, no.
Just kidding.
Just kidding.
Go ahead.
Go ahead.
Give her a kiss.
Thank you.
You know, they, tell you what, they, we had them back a little while after that.
They did indeed get married and everything is still swimmingly well.
Now, you know, ladies and gentlemen, strong national defense is very important to me.
But let's face it, sometimes you've even got to laugh at M for military.
It was Ross Perot's dad who tried to get him out of the Navy.
You know why?
He said, my son can't deal with it.
Why?
When he learned that sailors cuss and when he learned that they chase women and they
swear, why, the Navy wasn't for him.
Well, now maybe if somebody would have told Bill Clinton that that was going on, it could
have gotten him in instead of getting Perot out.
We'll be back in just a moment.
Do we all agree that there is this syndrome called PMS?
Do we?
And we also know that while in this state of PMS, women get crazy.
Some women have even committed murder and that's what you want in combat.
And they've been acquitted of the charge in murder because they weren't themselves.
It's been used successfully as defense.
It wasn't me.
It wasn't myself.
So I think what we need is the all-American First Cavalry Amazon Battalion.
That would be 52 combat-ready divisions, one a week.
Make sure that every week you have a division of combat-ready women in PMS.
That's the answer to this.
Now here's...
Stop that.
Nobody ever said that I never took risks.
Now the N word is a very simple one, often repeated by certain naysayers who see the
glass as half empty.
N, my friends, comes from the leadership of America.
And yes, N stands for no, no, no, no.
How are we going to do this?
First of all, let's identify the microphone holders.
Who's got the mics?
Stand up.
Raise your hands.
All right.
I tell you what I think we will do is I'll just start over here and just we'll take...
We'll just go around the room and then turn around and go back again.
Thank you, Mr. President.
My name is Rush Limbaugh and I'm from New York City.
And my question is, given the fact that the first year of your presidency, we've been
dragged through Travelgate, Hairgate, Nannygate, Fornigate, and now Whitewatergate.
Do you think we should believe a single word you say?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I didn't think so.
The very people you try hardest to help are those who turn away.
The people you try hardest to help are those who turn away.
He's talking about you.
You were so stupid.
You didn't realize that he was trying to help you.
You just looked at this man with this biggest heart that any president's ever had.
Boom, boom.
And you didn't understand that he was trying to help you.
And so you said to him, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
If you're going to give condoms out during the school year, but not during the summer,
why give them out at all?
Especially if you're not going to have condoms available during the peak usage times.
So Bennett called a New York City public school that gives these things away
and pretended to be a student.
And he said, hey, look, you know, you guys aren't thinking of me all the way.
I'm going to, I'm planning on being very active this summer,
and I want a bunch of condoms at the end of school year.
Will you give me some?
Guy at the school said, sure, I'd be glad to.
How many do you want?
He said, well, I don't know.
It's going to take a lot because I really plan on being active.
This is a big summer for me, and I'm going to be really sexually active.
And the guy at the school said, it's all right.
How many do you want?
And Bill Bennett, impersonating a student, said, I want 500.
The guy at the school said, 500 condoms?
You can't have 500 condoms.
No way.
And Bennett said, see, you will say no.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Oh, do you people ever need me?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
He doesn't think you need me, but you do, don't you?
Yes.
Thank you.
Thank you.
The letter O appears to be innocent enough,
but when you look at what some weirdo, wacko, left-thinking people are teaching our kids,
then sometimes you just got to laugh.
O, believe it or not, see if you remember this, O is for outer course.
We're not trying to shock you here.
We're not trying to stun you, but you've got to know what's going on.
In Los Angeles, they have figured out that sex education began in 1973
as a direct correlation to the rising teen pregnancy rates.
So we've got to do something about it.
They've started a new plan.
It's called outer course, not intercourse, outer course.
Do you have any idea what this means, folks?
Do you need me to tell you?
Creative masturbation.
You walk into your first class and your professor says,
Hi, welcome to Masturbation 101.
My name is Mr. Rubens, and I'm here to...
We'll know if this course, if this program succeeds
in about 40 years, go to Los Angeles and count all the people with seeing eye doors.
The richness of P, more fully PC.
I mean, what wonderful nonsense is handed to us with a completely straight face
by the purveyors of PC, which of course is political correctness.
Hampstead, Texas, and the cheerleader controversy rages on.
The school district down there is very much concerned, ladies and gentlemen,
of lawsuits by the Now Gang and a bunch of others
if they ban pregnant girls from being cheerleaders.
Do you remember the old days?
If you got pregnant, they sent you off to Kansas with Auntie M for six months,
and they then said to Zeke, Zeke, you know, they pointed a shotgun at you,
Zeke, you better head down that aisle and say, I do, or we're pulling a trigger.
There used to be a stigma.
There's no stigma attached to it anymore, and people, it's a declining standard.
I mean, I think it really is.
And I'm thinking about this.
We're going to have pregnant cheerleaders cheering at Hampstead High School games.
Can you imagine?
Now, wait, now follow me, you're going to have the football team break the huddle
and the cheerleaders break water.
And, I mean, here, how about, how about this cheer?
How about this cheer?
Push them back, push them back, breathe, breathe, push them back.
If they're going to ban toy guns, think about it when you were a kid.
Did you run around doing this to people?
You'd sit there and you'd cock the trigger with your thumb, we need to ban
four fingers and thumbs.
Project Dignity starts up.
The avowed purpose is to raise money, to collect money from you, to buy
shopping carts for human beings and call it compassion, call it concern and caring.
They put reinforced wheels on these shopping carts.
I'll tell you why.
Most homeless people, folks, have not figured out leverage.
When they get their shopping cart and they go off the sidewalk and into the street,
you eventually reach a curb.
And many times you and I would just put our foot on the rear axle of the shopping
cart and lift it up and go onto the sidewalk.
The homeless just, boom, boom, the wheels come off.
So these shopping carts have reinforced wheels and you can even get them so that
they are rubberized on the tips so that the metal doesn't hurt anybody.
Well, these people claim that that's compassion and caring.
Would you think that going out and saying to another human being, hey, I love you,
I care about you and I want the best for you, here's a shopping cart.
Q, you know, Q could stand for quixotic or even quarrelous, but let us instead
allow a few select people to shoot themselves in the foot and elsewhere.
Let's hear some Q's for quotes.
A recent study shows that American women spend an average of 10 and a half hours
a day caring for toddlers, by the way, more than women in any of the other 10
countries which were surveyed, while American men average 45 minutes.
If that were more evenly distributed, both the father and the child would most
likely benefit and the father might be less likely to want to have a lot of children.
You know, let me say something like that and I'd be thrown off the air for
insensitivity and cruelty and sexism, bigotry, homophobia and everything else.
She can say it and they go, oh, she's so smart, oh, she's so brilliant, oh,
we should listen so closely to what she says because we can learn so much,
she's a nut.
I want to just read you part of his speech that he made here at Baruch College,
quote, now is the time for all good persons to come to the aid of the planet.
We invented the atomic bomb before the chainsaw, but the chainsaw did more
damage.
Now let's see, we've got Al Gore saying in his book that the automobile is
posing a greater threat to the planet than all nuclear weapons and now Ted
Turner says that the chainsaw, and these are leaders of the Democratic party,
they're leaders, I mean, people think these guys are right, people think these
guys are enlightened, I mean, this is frustrating.
I mean, why don't we just equip the military with chainsaws now, get rid of
the M16s, get rid of the tanks.
Here, take Normandy, here's a chainsaw, it's ridiculous.
Bringing the slaves across, there were 200 million people who died just coming
across.
So great was the number of people who were thrown overboard that it altered the
ecology of the ocean.
The sharks even now trace, follow after ships along the trail seeking the flesh
that was thrown overboard in all those years, 200 years of the slave trade.
200 million slaves, ladies and gentlemen, 200 million people that we only have
250 million people in the country today, for crying out loud.
We ran the numbers, my friends.
200 million slaves is equal to nine ships carrying 304 slaves every day for 200
years.
It's not possible, he said the sharks are still swimming the route.
That's incredible, they're falling apart, the Democrats don't know what to do,
folks.
So don't get depressed when you watch evening news, be happy.
We've been waiting for this day for the longest time.
We'll be back in just a moment.
See what I mean?
That's how you got to react to it.
You just have to laugh.
Now it's time for a break from listening to me and time to listen to others,
others that is speaking about me.
Yes, my friends, R is for Rush.
Rush Limbaugh is the greatest thinker in America today, the greatest thinker.
In our party, their party, anybody's party, because he is not a politician,
he's a commonsensical thinking American.
Rush doesn't like me that much.
How do you think Rush should be as Democratic National Chairman?
He'd be fantastic.
Yeah, I wish he could start next week.
He's a very smart and very entertaining young man who I think has enormous
impact precisely because people are so loyal to him and enjoy his broadcasts
so much.
When I'm in New Mexico, I listen to Rush Limbaugh.
He's an entertainer.
Right.
Has nothing to do with his right, he's a fantastic performer.
When we talk about Limbaugh, for instance, I think Dick Gregory hit it exactly right.
People are always critical of Limbaugh for his politics or this or that,
but I don't care what your politics, that guy is funny.
I said, what, Gray, when he said, you see who just walked by, I said, who?
He said, Joe Demagian.
I said, what?
Turned around.
It's Joe Demagian.
I said, yeah.
What do you think we should do?
I said, well, our choices are to sit here like adults in the world of some
accomplishment or get up like a couple of teenagers and chase them out.
Rush said, let's go.
Joe Demagio said, Mr. Limbaugh, Rush, I listen to you every day.
Now, in your drug questionnaire, where have you gone, Joe Demagio?
Joe Demagio's home listening to Rush Limbaugh.
Thank you.
All right, the S-word.
We're up to S now.
The S-word's a sneaky one.
We all need symbols in our lives, the American flag, corporate logo of
PepsiCo or IBM, even the cross of Christianity.
But like anything else, symbolism can go wacky on us.
So let's take a closer look at S for symbols.
I, because I'm wearing these ribbons, I care more than any of you about
anything.
And these ribbons say so.
I want you people sitting at home and you people in the audience, look
down at your lapel right now.
I want you to do this.
Put the camera back on me.
Do this.
When you look down, what do you see?
You don't see anything because you're not wearing any ribbons.
It means you're a bigot.
It means you're a racist.
It means you're a sexist.
It means you're a homophobe.
It probably means you're a white guy.
It probably means you're a European.
And you, and you alone, are responsible for all the ills of America.
But I'm not because I'm wearing these ribbons.
I care more than you.
We're up to T. T is why we threw the T overboard into Boston Harbor in the
first place more than 200 years ago.
And we still haven't got it right.
That's right.
I heard somebody out there say it.
T, T, that's where we are.
T is for taxes.
I think it's too complicated, and I think it is self-defeating.
I think the American people are fed up with a tax system that drives them crazy.
I think we ought to let people make their own decisions about how they spend
their money.
We ought to get tax rates as low as we can get them, and we ought to turn
people loose to do what they want.
He's got me going in circles here.
Now, I'm telling you, this is not Dick Gephardt.
An alien has gotten in there and gotten hold of him.
I believe that every American citizen ought to earn $100,000.
Here's the problem with this.
The sad state we're in, too many of you people think it's a good idea.
I guarantee you, if this were 1994 or 1996 and I suggested this, you know
what would happen?
Every one of you people would be out there trying to get my name on all 50
ballots.
And we believe that if you do that, it very quickly trickles up.
And to everybody in the society, including the wealthy, do better when you
invest in the middle class and the poor and let it trickle up than putting all
of your investment in the wealthy and letting it trickle down.
It doesn't quite ever trickle down.
What in the hell?
So I guess what we're supposed to do is give a poor guy a lot of money and say,
okay, go out and hire a rich guy now.
The letter U, as you will understand, is uniformly unique, as in this particular
example.
Ain't got no hope.
Stunned silence in the room.
Ain't got no hope.
Ain't got no hope.
Ain't got no hope.
Ain't got nowhere to roam.
I have to tell you about that.
What I was doing there was telling the audience a story that had happened the
previous weekend.
I had been invited to a Christmas party at Barbara Walters' house, and after
after dinner she asked everybody in the room to lead the group in a song and
everybody had to have a song. I don't know any songs except that one.
So I thought why not? I went for it. I've never been invited back.
I don't think I will be.
Okay here we go the letter V. The letter V stands
for the question of violence on television as discussed
by Senator Ernest Hollings.
You know Senator Hollings, why there's too much consuming going on out there.
And he speaks with Washington's usual clarity, knowledge and finger on the pulse
of America.
The TV
is the most pervasive parent.
They call it narcotic
but the truth of the matter is and we've got to acknowledge it,
it's the most pervasive of parents all children see. We got this
was it Buffcoat and Beaver or Beaver and something else.
I haven't seen it. I don't watch it but whatever it is it was at seven o'clock
Buffcoat and they put it on now at ten thirty I think.
They've pleaded guilty and they'll do it as long as you and I have hearings but we just can't have
hearings like we've had now for forty years and get nowhere.
And yeah we'll go see the Attorney General, we'll go see the Chairman, we'll go see, go see.
We good people, you good people and we doing it.
But the truth of the matter is it's more and more pervasive, more and more violence on television.
Can't we do that
and not really be constitutionally in violation or really
hurting as you and I don't want to do the First Amendment?
You, you, what?
You got people, we got people and we doing it.
We thought that there's something worse on TV than violence that you should be
warned about so we've come up with our own
rating and label system
and that which we think you should be warned about is liberalism on TV.
So every TV show that is liberal can have an L rating, can have a UL for ultra-liberal,
EW for environmentally wacko-liberal, this is like for Captain Planet,
APM actor promoting his movie, BS means make sense to Barbra Streisand and nobody else.
W, ah,
W, perhaps one of my favorite letters.
W is for a winsome, wistful, yet nonetheless wonderful segment of our society.
W, who do you think?
Women, that's right.
If you really want to meet women it's real easy to do.
All you gotta do is go out and get all the women's magazines and books that you can
find and turn to the sections
on where to meet men.
Read it, find out where you're supposed to be, go there.
It all, it all worked out.
Some guy stood up and said,
can you tell me
when there will be a woman
elected to the White House?
But I mean what kind of question for that is a debate? And everybody says, well this is a debate
which stuck to the issues.
You know what I would have said, I'm in the debate. And somebody says,
Mr. Limbaugh, when do you think the first woman will be elected to the President?
When there's one who runs the people want to vote for.
And my friends, this is a great example of the clarity that I bring to the dialogue and
the political debate in this country. Now and then,
as you've seen, I look into the control room, see my staff covering their eyes.
Why?
Well, usually it's because, see they don't know what I'm going to do half the time.
They think they do, but I always go off on tangent. Sometimes they're covering their
eyes, oh no, because
I'm headed off into the realm of the X-rated.
You know there's a new Marilyn Monroe stamp?
You know what happens when you lick the Marilyn Monroe stamp?
You become an honorary Kennedy.
This Bobbitt movie, they're going to make a movie out of this whole thing. Have you heard about this, Sandy?
Yeah, it's going to be a two-parter.
A lot of people have decided that the roads and highways of America are going to be a lot safer
if women would simply stop farting while they're driving.
And, see,
he said, what?
And I talked about this on the radio and a woman called me one day and said, Roger, I can't believe what I'm hearing you say, that word.
I said, what word?
Well, you know, you're talking, I said, you mean women who are farting while they drive.
And she said,
I can't believe you're saying that. How do you know? How do you know that men don't do it?
And I said, because you can see men don't do it.
The word is fart, F-A-R-D. It's a French word and it means to apply makeup.
Look it up. It does. It does.
I love watching that, especially people who have not seen it before.
Some in this audience, my friends, were taken aback.
Now, a while back we had a lot of fun with the word no, especially as it was so often repeated
by our president.
It stands to reason that we can have an equally good time with the word yes.
I'd be thrilled if we could use the money we have and get better results.
Now watch, watch here.
And if we could spend a little more money and get the results.
There it is. There it is. There it is.
Very well. Yes. Yes. Yes. Hot damn.
I hear you saying that the state could then take the children away from the parent
and that the children then, I assume, under current law and under your proposal,
could be put in orphanages. Is that not correct?
Let me repeat. This is...
No, but is that correct?
The children would be taken into the child welfare system in foster care,
in some cases put into an adoption situation, in some cases put into group homes,
depending on their ages.
Could they be put into orphanages is my question.
They wouldn't be put into 19...
Not would they. Could they be?
There are... If they were babies, it's likely they would not.
Could they or could they not be put in orphanages? It's a very simple question.
If they were teenagers, they could be put into group homes,
which is the modern version of residential settings for children.
If they were less than teenagers, if they were pre-teens,
could they be put into orphanages by the states under your program?
There are very... Most of the residential settings in this country,
most young children are put into foster care in this country.
Most of the residential homes are for slightly older children.
Could they be put into orphanages by the state?
That's a simple question. Yes or no?
As part of the overall series of options that the state has before,
the answer is yes.
You heard her say yes. Did you hear her say yes?
We got them twice. We got them twice today.
Yes! Yes! Yes! Hot damn!
APPLAUSE
Well, as all great things must, we have reached the end.
We've reached the letter Z.
Time for our last observation of the world scene.
And Z, very important.
You might say almost cosmic because Z is a lesson in zoology.
MUSIC
LAUGHTER
MUSIC
APPLAUSE
Thank you, Bubba.
APPLAUSE
You see, my friends, I told you so.
Sometimes you've just got to laugh.
Thank you very much.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Thank you.
Thank you.
APPLAUSE
Thank you very much.
APPLAUSE
Thank you.
APPLAUSE
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
On my television program, I look at today's world from some funny angles.
I expose misplaced values, hypocrisy and muddled liberal thinking.
And I do so for the most part with irony and humor, biting wit and satire.
But there are some subjects which are not meant for laughter.
Issues that are at the core of our national soul.
Issues that are very near and dear to me.
Sadly, there are too many people out there who look at these same issues from an uninformed, distorted and often incomprehensible perspective.
That is why I often get passionate in expressing my beliefs and look right into the camera and talk directly to you from the heart.
And I tell you the truth.
This video is made up of a series of those straight-ahead commentaries on issues of major importance in the United States today.
I call it, The American Dream.
Is the American Dream dead?
Now, I think that is an absolutely stupid question.
I think it is one of the dumbest questions you can ask.
Because the American Dream isn't dead.
I'll just, there's no mystery about this, no reason to tempt you with my opinion to the end of the show.
I'll just tell you now, it's not dead.
If it were, I wouldn't be here.
And many people wouldn't be where they are.
Now, the question is relevant though, because many people think the American Dream is dead.
And the only reason they believe the American Dream is dead is because people are telling them that.
The people telling them that are bitter for some reason.
Some of them teach school.
Some of them are in charge of multicultural curriculums at school.
And they have grown up believing they have no chance.
They have to be stopped.
And the people who believe it have to be shown that it isn't true.
I wanted to find out what the people of New York would think or would say in answer to that question.
Because I figure here in the Northeast, recession has been particularly bad, slow coming out of it.
And New York is cynical about things anyway, the people who live here.
And I was surprised, and I think you will be too.
Here's what they said.
Is the American Dream dead?
Absolutely not.
It's alive and well.
It's being lived right here in this person that you're interviewing right here.
No, I don't believe it's dead.
I just believe it's much harder to attain.
No, I don't think the American Dream is dead.
The key today is people have to work.
We have too many people in our society today that do not want to work.
They expect the government and the welfare system to support them.
That cannot continue.
The American Dream is in debt despite the best efforts of the Clinton administration to kill it.
A nice wife, doctor kids, a house in the burbs, and the kids and the government off your back.
The American Dream is alive and well.
It's just been put on hold for the next three and a half years.
Greater opportunities available to everyone.
You just have to find them, that's all.
That's the key.
No, the American Dream is not dead.
If you lose the American Dream, then you shouldn't live in America.
That's what everyone's here for.
That's why people came over centuries ago.
And I want to say I love you, Rush.
The biggest problem facing America with most people is that they think the country owes them something.
The country owes them health care.
The country owes them insurance.
The country owes them a job.
The country owes them this.
And it's not that at all.
This is not the way the country was founded by the country owing.
It was the people being free to do the best they could for themselves using the original American culture of rugged individualism,
self-reliance, virtue, honesty, friendship, and all of those great characteristics.
I would caution that it's easy to say that the American people are stupid.
People on my staff think the American people are stupid.
I have to argue with them all the time.
Don't think that because, you know, it is the ordinary person, the average ordinary run-of-the-mill American that you never see on television,
who never gets his name or picture in a paper.
These are the people that make the country work, and they may be ignorant about certain things.
But to say that they're stupid is, I think, a bit of a disservice.
Don't do that, folks, because when you do that, you are going to sound a lot like liberals and elitists,
and you know how you don't like them.
Mr. Gephart and the rest of you Democrats who may be watching, you have been affecting the lives of people for far too long,
and the American people are fed up with the way you were affected in their lives.
There's a revolution going on out there, ladies and gentlemen.
The revolution comes from you.
The revolution is not being led in the House of Representatives.
The revolution is not being led by the Republicans in the House of Representatives.
The revolution is being reflected there.
The revolution is taking place in America, a flyover country, places that people in Washington never visit because they don't think it exists,
the heartland, Midwest, Oklahoma, Missouri, Texas, Kansas, anything between New York and L.A.,
that they call flyover country, that's America.
That's where the people who make America work live.
That's where they work.
And these people are fed up with affirmative action.
They're fed up with quotas.
They're fed up with crime.
They're fed up with all of this stuff.
And that's what's in the contract with America.
Well, let me tell you something.
For all of you liberals out there who think that America is needing to find meaning and that Americans need to find something to latch onto,
they already have.
It's called God.
And it's called religion.
We've already got it.
You know the problem with liberals?
The problem with liberals today and the way they deal with crime is there are no absolutes.
If I am sick and tired of one thing, it's people coming to me and say,
Rush, you know everything with you is black and white.
You don't see any gray areas.
Everything is just cut and dried.
Well, when it comes to morality, that's true.
There's right and there's wrong and there isn't any gray area.
But with liberals, you can't teach that.
You cannot say that there are absolutes.
Liberals want no absolutes.
Liberalism, as I say, is the most gutless choice you can make.
Support everything.
Be in favor of everything except conservatism.
Liberalism is total freedom, total selfishness.
Do whatever you want whenever you want.
When somebody says you can't do it, why all they're trying to do is impose their will on you
rather than what's really going on, which is simply decent people in this country trying to maintain standards.
You and I and most everybody else watching this show watch this show because it sends a message,
because it stands for things that you don't find anywhere else in the media.
And one of those things is right and wrong and the desperate attempt to hold on to the standards
which has given us, have given us the greatest culture and the greatest country in the history of the Earth.
And liberalism is tearing it apart.
And the breakdown in crime and the criminal justice system is the best evidence we have.
People who commit murder, riots, drive-by shootings, well, they're barely noticed.
Boy, you talk about prayer in school and liberals literally freak out
and tell you that you're talking about the end of America.
Ten Commandments? Oh, you can't put those in schools. Why? That comes from the Bible. There's religion there.
Yeah, a lot wrong with that. Thou shalt not steal, thou shalt not kill.
I guess we couldn't have riots if we taught that so we can't teach it.
We have more compassion for the spotted owl and redwood trees than we do for Americans who lose their jobs and families because of them.
A university president tried to throw a student out of school for calling some noisy women water buffalo.
Then that same university president defends other students who destroy the entire edition of a conservative student group's newspaper.
Then the university president is named to head the National Endowment for the Humanities.
The justice system is now corrupted by mob rule. And I'll tell you what all this is causing.
I think, ladies and gentlemen, that the demoralization of our society is what's happening.
And I believe that this demoralization takes place in two ways. Our spirit is being sapped and our moral fiber is being frayed.
You know what this is all about? It's all about the culture.
Everybody talks about cultural wars or trying to impose morality on people. We need a good dose of morality.
We need a good dose of absolute right and wrong.
Nearly two and a half million children were reported abused or neglected in 1990, which is up 259 percent since 1976.
Now, I have a simple question. Are we as tight as we can get? I want you to come in real tight on this. They're probably here. They come.
There they are. Now, listen carefully. I want to read this to you because it's important that you not misunderstand this.
The problem with this, in my mind, if two and a half million children are reported as abused and neglected,
then it seems to me the primary remedy we have chosen in this country to eliminate, neglect and abuse is failing.
That primary remedy is abortion. Pro-abortion activists say, how can we bring a child into the world when it may suffer, it may be abused, it may be beaten, it may be neglected?
Remember Joel Steinberg, New York City, had a six-year-old daughter named Lisa, adopted her, beat her up enough that she died?
Joanne Woodward, great sociologist from Connecticut, said, gee, if her natural mother, her biological mother had just aborted her, why she wouldn't have suffered?
So to live is to maybe suffer. To not live is to not suffer. Now, we have a million and a half abortions in this country a year.
To eliminate suffering, neglect and abuse. And still the suffering and neglect and abuse continue to rise.
I bring this up only to show you that some of the logic used by pro-abortionists is worthless, designed to appeal only to your good intention emotions.
The reason kids get beat up, the reason kids are neglected, is there are irresponsible adults.
And I hate to say this, but it might have something to do with values. Think about that.
A sickness is when you get something, leukemia, you get cancer, or you have a bad heart. That is a sickness.
But when you put something inside your body knowingly that this is wrong, that to me is a weakness.
It takes a lot of guts to say that, folks. It really does.
He lives and works in baseball where this is the basic rule of thought is that this is a sickness and we've got to bend over backwards to help these people and so forth.
Darryl Strawberry has everything life could ever want. And he's earned it. He's got riches and so forth.
And people say, well, you know, he just can't handle the pressures and the fame and the performance expectation.
Well, I know a lot of people who are successful. I know a lot of people who are rich and rose to fame rather quickly and have to deal with performance pressures.
They don't turn to drugs. On the other hand, you've got people over there who, well, you know, poverty is causing crime and poverty is causing people to look into drugs and all these other things.
It's just America is just a terrible place. It is this Kurt Cobain stuff.
And this is all symptomatic of what we in this country are doing. We're trying to make a victim out of everybody, absolve anybody of responsibility.
And that's just absolutely wrong because the people who play by the rules are the ones on whose backs the burden of supporting these losers falls.
And it's about time it came to a screeching halt. Now, Lasorda is exactly right about this.
I've only heard one other guy in sports dare to make this kind of statement.
Jerry Colangelo, who owns the Phoenix Suns, who has said the very same thing, and it is nothing but pure logic.
If you make the choice to grab a substance, put it in your nose or in your veins, that's going to cause you trouble, maybe kill you.
That's not society doing it to you. That's not the rigors and pressures doing it to you. That's you doing it.
Whether it's a weakness or whatever else, it still is a personal choice that those people, and we lionize these people, they get cured.
Oh, what a great person he is. Look at the strength he used to overcome all this. We're just creating role models out of the wrong people in this society.
And here are two examples to prove it.
Now, the Reverend Vax has weighed in with sympathy for what goes on in jail and has a remarkable new idea.
An idea that is revolutionary in its scope. I thought about explaining to you myself, but I wouldn't dare attempt to use the words uttered by the Reverend Vax.
So he shall speak for himself here. Listen to what we ought to do with jails.
While in jail, there must be a massive movement to provide literacy and trade skills, marketable skills.
Computer learning and esteem may wait to cut recidivism.
We don't need boot camps to sculpt muscles and learn marching. We need knowledge and skills and discipline to compete.
Now, if I heard him right, what he just described is a school. Is that not right?
I just heard him describe a school, maybe a vocational tech school, maybe even a university.
So if I'm hearing the Reverend Vax correctly, the admissions test to get into school is throwing a brick at somebody and hitting them in the head,
or going out and mowing down six people on a railroad or a subway, or committing some other kind of crime. Call it murder you.
You know, you have to do certain things, Reverend Jackson, to get into college. They're called achievement.
The purpose of prisons is punishment. If people want to go learn how to make something of themselves,
they ought to focus on that early on and do what everybody else who goes to school does, earn their way in.
And you don't earn your way in in America by committing crimes against innocent people.
We need people coming back from jail, going back home and saying, man, you don't want to end up where I just was.
You do not want to end up there.
Multiculturalism takes young ethnic Americans, all races, Hispanic, black, whatever,
and starts to teach them historical perspectives as their primary historical perspectives, things that are irrelevant to them.
You take American kids and teach them about their native cultures as their primary perspective.
And this is done to raise their self-esteem. This is done to make them feel better about themselves.
And it's also done, I think, multiculturalism is a tool of revenge,
used by those who have failed in our society as a means of getting even,
those who have failed to make it in the American capitalist system.
Well, multiculturalism takes American kids and does not prepare them to become great Americans.
It takes them and teaches them things that stifle their growth.
If you want to get a job at IBM, you got to know how to get a job at IBM.
You got to know how to do what IBM wants you to do.
We in this society are embarking on a bunch of wrong areas educationally
that do not prepare young Americans to become adult Americans.
And it troubles me that we do this. Yeah, I say this and people say,
see, you don't care about their native cultures. Sure, I care about their native culture.
If you want to teach them about their native culture, anything that's important, fine.
But don't make it the primary perspective you give them on history or social science or whatever.
Teach them about America. Teach them how to access the opportunities which exist in America,
as opposed to telling them there are no opportunities which exist in America.
I have only love and the best desires for people.
And in the process of trying to communicate that, I am not going to sit here
and be mislabeled and accused of things which are not true by a bunch of people
who just don't want to hear what I have to say.
This is America and I'm going to stand up for it, including myself.
I'm as much an American as anybody else.
In New York City and around the country, we are trying to teach kids to get along with one another.
We're doing it by giving them condoms.
We're doing it by teaching them about tolerance for alternative lifestyles.
But there's this thing out there called the Ten Commandments.
We can't teach that, but there's no better lesson for all of humanity
as to how to get along with each other.
You can't teach the Ten Commandments because that stems from somebody's religion.
Why do kids take guns into schools?
Because they have no respect for the sanctity of life.
I told you that time and time again.
You can't have a million and a half abortions every year in this country
for all the years that we've had, folks, without life itself being cheapened.
We can't start killing and calling it death with dignity.
We can't start killing and calling it right to die.
We can't let guys like Jack Kevorkian run around and assist people in dying,
which is really killing them, and not cheapen life at the same time.
Life is the most precious thing there is on this planet, human life, the most precious.
Everything else is academic without it.
We can't create it from scratch.
We will never be able to recapture a lost life, never ever.
It is our most precious, most sacred thing, and we are cheapening it
according to the convenience of those who live.
We take kids to school and they have guns and knives in their pockets.
What do we do? We put metal detectors up in the schools.
And if the ACLU doesn't come along and say, you can't do that,
that violates the Fourth Amendment search and seizure clause,
then they get into school with guns.
And as we pointed out the other day, they show up with play guns, water guns,
and they start shooting people, people with real guns turn around and shoot them back.
What do we do? We get the toy gun off the market.
We don't go after the people who are shooting real guns.
We have people who think we should go after the real gun, the gun doesn't shoot itself.
We have this killer disease out there, and it's behaviorally spread.
What do we do? We teach the behavior. We teach the activity.
We sanction it, we encourage it. We say, use this condom.
We do not let people anymore be taught right from wrong, good from bad,
because we have a bunch of people who think there is no difference.
Whatever I want to do is what I get to do.
Freedom means I can do whatever I want, and if you tell me I can't do it,
then you are interrupting my good time. That's what they say.
Well, in my mind, ladies and gentlemen, all of this is totally understandable.
This lack of respect for life, especially in kids and teenagers.
Look at the movies they watch. I remember when I was a kid,
my parents were all concerned about Beatle music.
I grew up in the 60s, and in the mid-60s, Beatle music,
I want to hold your hand. I saw her standing there.
All of that stuff was deemed revolutionary and bad,
but look at the lyrics. They were harmless. They were love songs.
It was the hair and the appearance that my parents were afraid of.
But you look at what's out there today. Look at, two live crews mean so horny.
You know what that is about? It's about the destruction of the female vagina
by a bunch of men having a good time.
Can't ban that. Nope. That's freedom of speech. That's art.
We then have all kinds of songs by rappers like Ice T. called Cop Killer.
I can't interrupt that. That's called freedom of expression and art as well.
We've got all these hacker and slasher movies.
We have people getting slashed to death, hacked to death, shot to death.
Killers get killed 25 and 30 times over, like in the Friday the 13th movies,
and they always come back to life.
Life has become cheap in our society.
It's become a commodity that we can broker for our own convenience.
This should not be any surprise. I am happy. I am proud that I have been on the cutting edge,
the leading edge of this. Science can try to explain behavior all they want.
Science can try to explain psychological temptation, this and that. It's the soul.
It is respect for the essence of humanity and life.
And when that is not respected and when you can't teach that,
what we have in our society is no wonder. I hope you'll think about it.
If we're going to get people off of welfare, we should be saving money.
Why is it going to cost $6 billion more to get people off of welfare?
And I looked further and I said, well, job training.
Excuse me, what is our education system for? Oh, I forgot.
We're teaching kids that Heather has two mommies, and we're teaching them to here use this condom.
Oh, and we're teaching them all of this worthless social gobbledygook psycho babble.
And when they get through learning that stuff, they don't know how to get a job.
All they know is to go out to the government and to take care of me. I need to vote for a Democrat.
I'm telling you folks, you have better wake up because we are facing, if this all comes to pass,
if everything he says he wants to spend gets spent, those of you who have busted your tail
for your entire life are going to have everything you've earned confiscated to pay for it.
And people are going to say, yep, that's fair. You have no right to earn it.
It's not fair that somebody should do better than somebody else.
And we're going to see to it that there's equality in this country by making sure
that those who've worked hard and have a lot lose theirs.
The only possible good benefit from this is that Senator Kennedy may be wiped out
along with the rest of the Kennedys. But I'll bet not.
I'll bet you they find a way for rich Democrats to hold on to their money
because they don't admit they have it in the first place.
I mean, this stuff just literally burns me up.
And then we've got people saying, the president didn't mean it. He damn well didn't mean it.
And if he didn't mean it, he should fake it. He should come back tomorrow and say,
I did mean it and furthermore, we'll be back in a minute.
There's a group of people in this country, and they're liberals,
and they're civil liberties people, and they're advocating all of this behavior,
sexual behavior, without consequence.
If you look at all of the controversial sexual behaviors in this country,
there is a remedy for any trouble you get into with it.
Condoms for AIDS, abortion for pregnancy,
and now masturbation as a health reason or a health preventative.
And if you stop and think about something, your kids are going to school,
they're being educated, and they're being taught to do things sexually
such a way that they will have no consequences.
And what does that mean? That there will be no responsibility,
that you can engage in certain kinds of activity without responsibility.
Now, I don't know about you, but this is not the kind of stuff
that needs to be taught anywhere, much less school,
because there are people who are not going to school.
There are people who are going to school, much less school,
because there are dire consequences that can arise
from promiscuous or irresponsible sexual activity.
Now, one of the consequences of irresponsibility in sex is death.
You can die.
And so to teach this as though there are no consequences,
and this group of people want no consequences
because this is how they define a good time.
Don't you tell me what I can and can't do in my bedroom or anywhere else.
I can or can't do whatever I want to with and when.
They don't want any judgment on this,
and they've gotten control as Jocelyn Elders is one of them.
All of this under the guise of good health.
But what they really want is sex without consequences,
sex without responsibility.
It's good she's gone from that standpoint,
and her beliefs ought to go with her.
103 years ago, my grandfather and namesake, Rush H. Limbaugh, was born.
There he is not too many years ago,
and he's still doing remarkably well given his age.
He has been an inspiration to all in the Limbaugh family.
Anybody who knows me will understand this,
but for those of you who have not had the chance to meet me personally
or hear me talk much about my family,
but yet have heard me talk about how much I believe in family values and so forth,
this is not a cliché with me.
It's because I've lived it.
My grandfather, Rush H. Limbaugh, is a man who set the standard
for everybody in his family.
He is a man of impeccable dignity and character, honesty.
He has epitomized hard work.
Born in 1891, there wasn't running water, there wasn't electricity, automobiles, airplanes.
Look at the things that he had.
He had more in common with people who were born 500 years ago
at the time of his birth than he had in common with people who would live 40 years later.
And yet he managed to prosper in Missouri as a lawyer and as an author.
And he sets such a high example that every one of us in our family
has done everything we could to try to please him,
not because he's mean and not because he's a typical dominating patriarch,
but because he's just such a fine man that if we could gain his approval,
then we felt it would redound positively to us as human beings too.
We all call him Pop. We love him dearly.
He's 103 years old today, still goes to the office.
Pop, we love you. Happy birthday.
Allow me to once again say from the bottom of my sizable heart that I never forget.
I work very hard, by the way, at keeping everything here in perspective,
who I am, what I am, what I've accomplished and what I haven't accomplished.
I work very hard to keep it in perspective.
And don't misunderstand me when I say these kinds of things.
I'm not trying to belittle what's been accomplished here or achieved,
but I know full well that the reason it's been achieved is because of you,
you people out there, you people here in the studio audience,
and everybody else who is part of what we do at this massive conglomerate
we call Excellence in Broadcasting.
And the depth of loyalty that you people have expressed,
the independent thought that you bring to the issues of the day,
the articulate way in which you're able to express yourselves,
and the fearless way in which you stand up to all these leftist groups who think
that simply by these acts of intimidation they can send you back home to cower in your corners.
Your actions prove them wrong, and I thank you all so much for this outpouring
and the way you stand up for what you believe in,
because what's being demonstrated here is that when you are rooted in principle,
you are fearless.
When you're rooted in principle and you're being guided by your beliefs,
and you know you're right, you can take on all comers and they don't scare you,
and I thank you so much for all of your support because we are winning.
It's a slow process, but it'll happen as long as we all hang together.
And I thank you, really, from the bottom of my heart, for all of it.
I do.
Thank you.