The yipsy wipsy spider went up the water's spout.
Down came the rain and once the spider fell.
Out came the sun and dried up all the rain.
And the yipsy wipsy spider went up the spout again.
Hi, I'm Catherine, Christina, Patrick, and Christopher's mom, Maria Shriver.
One of the most important things to every working parent I meet is quality child care.
We all need help when it comes to raising our kids,
but when you have to leave your child with someone else,
it can stir up lots of emotions, from guilt to sadness to self-doubt.
If you're feeling that way, take it from me. You are not alone.
Good child care is out there, but it helps to know what to look for
and the right questions to ask.
That's what this video is all about.
Why does it matter that your child care is good?
At the moment of birth, the brain has over 100 billion nerve cells
that keep growing and interconnecting as the baby grows.
You see, the brain isn't finished at birth.
It develops through interaction with the world.
In its experiences of early childhood, these first three years
that put in place the entire biological foundation
for the way the child will think and feel and behave
and relate to other human beings.
Science has now learned it's really the secure attachment
to loving, consistent people in these early years
that literally enables a baby's brain to grow.
These relationships result in healthy emotions and sound intelligence.
So when parents, the baby's most important people, have to go to work,
they should try to find the very best caregivers
in the very best place they can.
You know, when she cries, you know, when they're taking care of her,
you know, you figure they don't love these children, like,
you love your own.
Kristen Newell, first-time mother.
She'll soon be going back to her job as an administrative assistant.
My concern was would they know what she needed?
Would they know when she needs to be fed?
What if they don't feed her the way I feed her?
What if they don't burp her in between?
It's just silly things like that.
Not silly at all.
And Kristen's doing what every parent should,
taking a thorough look at the place she's considering
for her three-month-old daughter.
I understand that I'm not enough to leave your children.
I understand that completely because I went through it.
Laura and her mother Eleanor started their center
when Laura herself couldn't find good child care.
We try really hard to reassure them that we understand
what they're going through and that we will do our best to care for them.
Nearly four out of ten kids in child care go to centers like this one,
which looks after infants through preschoolers.
I don't know what I expected.
We had a lot of people who have come here,
so we had wonderful references to go by.
It's the first thing a parent should ask for,
especially if you're new in town.
Talk to neighbors, pediatricians, people at church.
You can also contact organizations specializing in child care referral.
We'll tell you how to get in touch with some of them later.
I was very impressed and everything was totally kid-oriented.
You can see it the moment you walk in.
Whether center or family-based,
providers should be involved with the kids on the floor, down on their level.
When you're interviewing,
make sure the caregivers are interested in hearing about your child
and that they talk about the other kids the way you'd want them to talk about your own.
I was shocked at how clean it was.
The place doesn't have to be a palace, but it should be very, very clean,
especially the food-related areas.
It's simple, germs make kids sick.
We try to keep it as clean as their home would be.
The children should be kept clean, too.
Infants and toddlers changed often,
with providers' hands washed after every change.
And the older ones taught to begin their own good habits.
So this is the younger toddlers, and those are the older ones?
The place should also be safe, childproof as well as your own houses.
Appliances, medicines and cleaning products kept out of reach,
outlets covered and a smoke-free environment,
toys appropriate to the age group,
play and pool areas fenced in, and playground equipment safe,
and the staff trained in basic first aid and CPR skills.
Make sure emergency numbers are posted.
Think about how illnesses and accidents are handled.
You can even give them some what-ifs to see how they respond.
What's your policy on that?
We'll touch base with you, give you a call, let you know.
Find out how your provider deals with things like allergies and asthma.
And if your child has special mental or physical challenges,
know that delayed development can be improved with early intervention.
Your local health department can steer you towards services for your disabled child.
Make sure your provider is willing and able to help.
How many babies are in here?
You should also always ask about the size of the group your child will be in,
and look at the number of kids per caregiver.
Your baby needs lots of loving attention, so the smaller the group, the better.
A good rule of thumb?
For each adult, there should be no more than three or four infants,
four to six toddlers, or six to seven preschoolers.
When you bring Ryan in in the morning, her basic routine...
Because of the way their brains develop, kids need routines, structure, predictability.
You should get an idea of what your child will be doing all day and when.
What position do you put them to sleep? Backside?
We put them to sleep on their backs.
Check out the policy on naps.
If you have an infant, make sure the cribs are safe
and that your baby will be placed on her or his back to sleep.
What's your policy on sick kids not feeling good?
If children are sick, we would...
Find out about any other policies the provider may have, and make sure you agree with them.
Now, if I have a few extra hours during the day, can I stop in?
And anything else that means a lot to you.
Where your child spends the day is one of the most important decisions you'll ever make.
But a good place just doesn't exist without good people.
Child care providers, I think, really are undervalued.
This is someone who you're leaving your three-month-old with.
This, as far as I'm concerned, really is the most important job of all.
You should think of your child care provider as a partner.
A partner in parenting.
And what's the hallmark of a great caregiver?
First and foremost, they need to genuinely care about children.
A top-notch caregiver really locks in on the kids, watching them,
listening to them, and respecting them.
Respect their needs, respect their wishes, respect their tantrums,
and respect all their feelings.
All of this comes not only from really liking kids, it comes from understanding them.
I mean, I always tell parents there's no magic here,
it's that teachers know and understand development.
The more knowledge caregivers have, the better it is for your baby.
So ask about their experience and training.
Because it's critical they understand the different stages of growth and development
and what kids need at each step.
Some things to look for.
The infants, there's a lot of holding, cuddling.
Emotional attachment plays a big part in early brain development.
And touch is how that's first communicated.
Holding, caressing, soothing.
That's what a baby needs to stimulate brain growth and develop emotionally.
They also need more.
You want to get on the floor and play with them and read them a story
and sing them a song and help with their language as they start to talk.
Warm, stimulating, responsive care.
Babies just eat that up.
And when infants turn into the walking, talking dynamos called toddlers,
they need caregivers who understand their growing independence.
At three, thinking and social skills begin to really blossom,
and children can handle more school-like learning.
Red makes orange.
How a good provider works isn't always obvious.
Sometimes it's hidden in the smallest moments, like this one.
Hey, son.
Want to come play with everybody?
Son has just started at the center, and he's very shy.
Sarah's not usually a wallflower.
But she's got it in her head not to dirty her brand new ruby slippers.
Now watch how Jason handles them.
He offers to bring the wagon to them and make sure that they each get their turn,
easing them into the group.
Now they're having a great time.
Watch for moments like this.
They signal sensitive caregivers who know what makes kids tick.
Children form attachments to these kinds of people.
It helps them feel safe and secure.
It's also important that good caregivers be a continuing part of their lives,
so look for a place with low turnover.
Good providers are consistent, loving people who know about kids,
who really care about kids at the most critical time in their lives.
A lot of great thinkers have said that if you don't make the investment in the lives of very young children,
that you miss a window of opportunity in how they think, how they feel about themselves,
and what they grew up to be.
Up till now we've been looking at the Child Care Center,
and while that is the most popular form of care, there are others that might be just as good for you.
In-home care, where the caregiver comes to you,
and so-called family care, which takes place in the provider's own home.
I love to see children learn. I love to see them discover new things.
Remember when the nurse came, we talked about our heart. Where's our heart?
Karen Hoar is a family provider.
She takes care of a group of six kids out of her own home in the suburbs.
She's a trained teacher.
I'm providing a service that is not only an in-home environment, but at the same time it's a learning environment.
Karen takes pride in her professionalism.
She thinks parents should look for caregivers who do the same.
When you walk into a provider's home, the first thing you should look for is the certificate of inspection.
Are they insured?
You should also look for the same low child-to-caregiver numbers you'd expect in a center, and the same approach to children.
Even if they're doing it in their home, children must be stimulated, be it an infant or a preschooler.
Once again, don't feel shy about asking lots of questions.
How long have you been taking care of children? How many children have you been taking care of?
If you have an assistant, how much does that person make?
You have a right to ask these questions. You're paying for your children.
Find out if anyone else in the provider's home will come into contact with your child.
Make sure you meet that person.
You'll ask if any activities will take the children off-site.
Be certain the way they get there is safe and that you know where they'll be at all times.
Once you choose any kind of child care, stay involved.
Try to drop in on an ounce from time to time.
If someone tells you you have to call before you come to see your child, that is not the place for you.
Good care should look the same wherever you go.
And how can you be sure it's good?
Watch your child for cues.
No child will be happy all the time.
But if yours looks forward to his day and seems to genuinely enjoy the people he or she is with,
that's the best sign of all that you've made the right choice in child care.
It's tiring. It's hard work.
I'm exhausted at the end of the day, but it's such a joy to see them growing up.
You're both awake.
Sometimes you don't need to look any farther than your own family for child care.
I get here around 7, 30, 20 minutes to 8.
Mary Ann Pasteur, grandmother to year-old twins.
The girls are up. They've had their bottle. I give them their breakfast.
We get up. We play.
There she is.
Mary Ann and her family practice in-home care, where the provider comes into your own house.
Pretty girl.
It can take many forms.
Professional nanny, neighbor or relative, including grandparents as official caregivers for the children.
I really think that her primary concern was her age and was she going to be able to keep up with them.
Guess what?
Mary Ann has been able to keep up, and like any good provider, she keeps learning more about how children develop.
Even if it's a relative, your standard should be as high as for anyone else.
Expect your caregiver to know what your kids need to grow and to work with you as a real partner in bringing them up.
My mom and I are a team raising the children.
How are you today?
A close-knit team that can give the girls a special experience.
I'm trying to give them a happy home life and a sense of who they are and who I am in their life.
It can be the best of both worlds, care you can count on right in your own home with someone who's truly one of the family.
After you've made your decision on where to go, it's time to get ready for the big day.
It's that first day of child care, and be prepared because it can be pretty emotional.
Remember Kristen Newell?
She ended up choosing the center she visited called Briarfield.
Let's watch her on her first day.
When a parent gives up a child to somebody else, they go through a real grief reaction.
It's like giving up part of yourself.
It's like giving your child to a stranger.
Kristen and husband Terry both have to work.
They don't have any alternative.
Their choice is in child care.
For us, I think this is the best place for Briar.
Anything she can possibly need, developmentally, interaction with other children, it's all here.
In her mind, Kristen knows they're doing the right thing.
But her heart is still torn.
She's going to forget us. Maybe she's not going to think of us as fun.
Research has shown that children don't forget their parents, but Kristen's feelings are universal.
You should try to understand that if you go through what Kristen is, it's completely normal.
They think, oh boy, is my baby going to attach to these people and not know who I am?
And we reassure them that that's not the case, that we're just filling in.
They're changed basically every two hours.
Never thought this would be like this. Never.
I didn't...
You know, they tell you, oh, it's awful, it's awful, it's awful. It is.
Yes, that's mom.
What do you think?
That's mom.
Don't you forget it.
We don't want her to forget us.
Yeah, no. Absolutely not.
Well, you will see.
If somebody could just say to her, oh, it's so wonderful, you care so deeply.
It hurts so much because she cares so much.
It's really the most precious gift a parent can give.
And first days aren't only tough on parents.
Meet Julia, three years old.
It's her first day, too.
You want to come see the preschool room?
I think maybe tomorrow.
You think maybe tomorrow?
Julia's center has a great policy.
They ask parents to come in if they can and stay with the children for the first few days
to help them get used to the brand new environment.
There's a lot for a child to adjust to.
No.
Are you sure?
No.
So expect some bumps along the way.
I want day school.
It's going to be hard.
I mean, it'll get easier.
Listen to your caregivers.
They have plenty of tips to help you.
Your best bet is to pack her something like this is perfect, just a snack.
And be assured that with lots of love and understanding...
You love your school?
I love it.
You love it?
Your child will do just fine.
Other things that will help your child.
Give her something from home to keep during the day,
a favorite stuffed animal, a special book, even a picture of you taped inside the lunchbox.
Anything that will remind your child how much she is loved at home.
Once you've started in child care, your work is not done.
You've got to stay involved.
And that means working with your partner, the caregiver.
Hey, Michael.
Leslie Callahan is a single mother.
She has two sons, three-year-old Michael and Robert, five.
Now, let me carry you.
I always say, I can't sit, I can't play, I've got to get ready for work.
You know we have school today.
The hectic pace plays out in the children.
They can feel yanked from one place to the next.
And it all comes to a head, especially when parents drop off and pick up.
It's called transition time.
And it's the day's first opportunity for you and your caregiver to work together.
There's times I think he doesn't want to let go of me because he knows I have to leave him.
Easing your child into the day is the smartest strategy.
Your caregiver can be a big help.
Just watch how Annette does it.
Want me to hold you like Mommy is?
Come on, Bob.
All righty.
Okay.
See you later, Mommy.
Working late in the morning can mean a lot to your day, too.
I know when I get into work, I know my kids are in good hands.
Working with your caregivers is critical on other issues as well, like toilet training.
You want to try to take off those pants so we can go in the potty.
While the provider has the right to set basic policy, you should make sure your child isn't pushed.
Good job, Noel.
Look for a place that looks for your child's signs that he's ready,
then helps him with something he himself wants to do and at his own pace.
Discipline's another big one, as Leslie knows.
Well, Michael is a pretty aggressive child.
It's vital for you and the caregivers to agree on limit setting.
They should use techniques like verbalizing feelings and redirecting attention.
But never, never let anyone shake, spank or hit your child.
He could be seriously injured, physically and emotionally.
Discipline should really be all about teaching.
You know, he's learning about other children's behaviors,
how other children behave toward him and how he behaves toward them.
No, we don't eat that.
Your child is constantly developing, changing.
So constant communication with your caregiver is critical.
Find a way to make it a regular part of every day.
What are you doing to it?
You're eating the teeth.
It'll help make your child care work all that much better.
It's a really good school. I love it.
I love it, I love it, I love it.
They do so much with the kids. I love it.
What happens if you and your caregiver don't agree on some big issue?
Well, first, try to talk it out.
But if you really can't agree and it really is important,
you've got to have the courage to change providers.
I know it may be tough, but it will probably be a lot better for your child in the long run.
And that's what really matters most.
We need to give our girls a better education so that they don't have to go through the punishment that I went through in life.
Getting low paying jobs, just a GED or whatever, we want them to go to college just like everybody else.
And for that we have to start them very, very early.
Jose Torabillo and his wife Marie know all about early starts.
We actually start 5-15 in the morning just to get the quality care that we're getting from this place.
Both parents work in a big city hospital. She's a nurse. He's in supplies.
Actually, we can trust this place. This is one thing that we know. It's like living with my mother.
The Torabillos qualify for a half scholarship from their hospital.
The employer helping us pay the bill is one of the greatest things that could ever happen in our lives because otherwise we couldn't afford it.
Good child care costs money. In many cases it's one of the biggest items in the family budget.
Fifty percent of our families wouldn't be able to come here if they didn't have the employer support that they have.
Caring about child care makes sense for any employer.
Child care is the largest and most important impediment to productivity.
And so companies are seeing that if they're going to recruit, attract and keep the best people, they need to help their employees with child care.
As a parent and an employee, it's up to you to encourage your own employer to support child care.
Find out what help might already be available and lobby for change if change is needed.
I don't know what percentage children are of our present, but I do know they're 100 percent of our future.
And if we don't make the investment that we need to make in them through the community infrastructure,
then we will not have the country that we believe we should have down the road.
Sky, huddle, let's go.
The Torabillo's future is their children. Jose sees it at the end of every day.
It's the most beautiful feeling to see them, that they're okay, they're well, they come and hug me, they kiss me and it's ready to go for another day.
The girls are getting what they need in their early years and they're loving it.
Most of the time they don't want to go, but home is home.
Good child care. It means so much for our kids, for our families, for all of us.
We've covered a lot in this half hour and you may want to go back and look at the sections you need as you move from one stage to the next.
But here are the most important things to keep in mind.
Your child care should be safe, clean and child oriented.
Your caregiver should genuinely love children, be interested in your child and be trained to know what children need.
Understand that both you and your child will go through a period of emotional adjustment.
It's normal and a positive sign of a strong bond between the two of you.
Also understand that a secure attachment to a caregiver will only enhance the healthy development of your child.
Stay involved and keep communicating with your provider on a daily basis.
Try to become a force for positive change in your company and in your community.
Finally and most important, the early years of your child's life are the most critical.
It matters that your child care is good care because the first years really do last forever.