Hi, I'm Ron Luce, and today on Acquire the Fire, we've got a special program for ladies
only.
Guys, you can stay tuned if you want to find out how to treat a lady, and ladies, it's
going to be a great program.
We've got a special guest.
Don't touch that dial.
Stay tuned.
It's going to be great.
Hey, everybody.
Welcome to Acquire the Fire.
Welcome to all you guys and girls at home.
We're so glad you're part of the program today.
We've got a great program.
We're going to talk about what does it mean to be a woman of God and to be somebody that
is growing in the things of God as a young lady.
We've got a lot of godly women in the house today.
Listen, if you're a guy, I want you to stay tuned in because you're going to get a glimpse
of what a real woman should be, and not just what the world tells you a young lady should
be like, but what the Bible says.
And so to do this, it's not just me, some guy.
We've got a very special guest, a very awesome woman of God.
My wife, Katie, is going to come and help co-host us.
Come on up, Katie.
So many of us set our standard of who we want to be from Hollywood or New York, trends that
come through, magazines, music, you name it.
And it really is a false reality.
And we put up this big facade and we say, well, if I can just get the right look, if
I can have just the right hair and the right clothes, then I can really feel good about
myself.
But the problem is there's some guy sitting around in New York City laughing his head
off behind a great big desk and making lots of money off of us.
And then we become the cookie cutter image of what he thinks is cool.
That's just not right.
And so today we're going to talk about how to break through that bondage and how to be
who we were really created to be.
I want you to watch closely and see if you are living in reality or a facade.
Terror.
Horror.
Trembling.
Scarier than smallpox.
More frightening than food poisoning.
Greater fear than failure.
The evasion of the mask people.
See them lie.
So, how are you today?
Oh, just fine.
See them hide.
Do you ever feel, well, I don't know, like you're not good enough?
Never.
Why?
See them avoid.
So Stanley, how are things with your dad?
Um, uh, just super.
How about with your mom?
Oh, uh, just wonderful.
Evasion of the mask people.
Coming to a friendship near them.
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Hi, we're the Darrens.
Growing up in the Darren household.
Definitely never a dull moment, but we were a family that was always on the go.
We would take the Blue Station wagon to church, we'd all pile in, and we'd sing songs all
the way to church and we'd start having nice, there were some parts in there.
We would sing around the house, we'd sing with my mom, we took trumpet and flute lessons.
We were all very active in soccer, but it wasn't until about 95 when we were asked to
do a tribute to our high school choir director.
We enjoyed singing together and the feedback, we had positive feedback from the people who
saw that performance.
And at that point, I think too, God was preparing each of our hearts for what was to come.
And he started putting on our minds that maybe we could use our talent to sing for him.
The reason we really enjoy doing what we're doing in our music ministry is that we really,
really want to reach the youth.
We want to try to help them incorporate family values and some good morals into their life
so that when they go on to have families of their own, so that they can bring that back
in.
We did a video to our first single, All Along the Road, we worked with this cool bubble
machine.
It was great, it was our first time shooting a video.
It talks about driving along the road and maybe some of those tough times that you have.
It's just everyday life and the situations that come about in everyday life.
Beautiful day, wonderful world, here with you
Between work, cabaret and telephone rings
If ever I forget you
I slip away from life's routines
To meet you on my knees
These are the moments that I need you most
This is the place my hope is found
Wonderful world, beautiful day
Your presence takes me far away
Wonderful world, heavenly place
I feel your love a thousand ways
You wake me every morning
Your mercy makes me new
It's a beautiful day, wonderful world
Here with you
It's all in how we look at things around us
I see that hope and joy, peace and love have found us
Wonderful world, beautiful day
Your presence takes me far away
Wonderful world, heavenly place
I feel your love a thousand ways
You wake me every morning
Your mercy makes me new
It's a beautiful day, wonderful world
Here with you
It's a wonderful world
Wonderful world
It's a wonderful world
Wonderful world
It's a wonderful world
Wonderful world
You know, when I was a teenager in high school, I felt so rotten about myself because of what people said all the time, and I was living in a facade.
People used to tease me ruthlessly about how short I was, and they'd pat me on the top of my head and call me half pint and squirt, and you know, you're so cute, and it drove me crazy.
And I just didn't feel good about myself until I came across a scripture in Psalms 139 that says that we are fearfully and wonderfully made, that God actually knit us together in our mother's womb.
And I started thinking about that and thinking, you know, every single fiber of my being is designed by God.
That means He created me short for a purpose, you know, for a reason, and I began to be able to enjoy being short.
I began to start loving myself for who I was.
You know, I wanted to talk about this problem today that we all seem to have.
Why is it that we have such a hard time being ourselves and really being who we are created to be?
Do you guys have any ideas on that?
I think one of the pressures we feel is the way Hollywood portrays women in movies and things, and we go to these movies with our friends and things, and we see these women that are like this perfect shape and the perfect body and all these clothes.
And you know, we go home and look in the mirror, and we're just like, you know, why can't I look like them?
They put this stereotype on us, this is the way American women should look or any women should look, and we just feel bad about ourselves because it's this fake thing that we can never become.
You know, I was reading this article that said that 98% of the models that we see in magazines are anorexic themselves.
And that is a sad scenario of our society that we look at, you know, the standard of beauty in these girls, and they are actually sick-minded themselves.
Anything else? What do you think are the pressures that we're feeling?
There are so many things that, you know, as we're watching movies and we're listening to the radio, and where even other people, I think our peers, can have an impact, you know, on how we view ourselves.
Because we'll look at a friend and we'll say, oh my gosh, you know, they look like this, and look, they're getting all this attention, you know, from friends or their parents or somebody.
You know, and I think there's something that we're going after, you know, an image that we're trying to grab a hold of that we think is what we should look like.
Growing up for me was really hard. My mother was an alcoholic and she divorced my father when I was six months old.
I dealt with self-esteem issues my entire life.
I felt really rejected from people and that I was really a nobody and that I was cast out of society.
People would say things like, Carrie, I'm worried about you, you know, you're putting on a little weight, da-da-da-da-da, and it just, it killed me inside.
That was something that I did learn from my mom because I saw so many times that she stayed in a relationship and he was very abusive to her physically and verbally, and I saw that.
So I really thought that this was all I was going to get.
I got into diet pills and things like that, and then in ninth grade I discovered that if I ate a lot, if I binged on a lot of food and then I threw it up or purged the food, then I could eat anything I wanted and I would pay no consequences for it.
One of the things that I really wished I didn't do was get into a sexual relationship with a guy who said he loved me and he said he was there for me, but then when we were out in public, he did nothing but cut me down.
And I look back at things like that now, like they were so dumb, you know, but when you're in seventh grade, it makes a really big difference.
It makes a difference to your self-esteem because that is mostly what our viewpoints are based on, is what other people think of us.
That was a real turning point for me because I either had the decision to believe what he was saying or I had the decision to believe what God was saying.
I had one friend, every time I would think about it, every time I was about to do it or every time right after I did it, he would call me.
And I didn't understand why, he didn't understand why, he just called me and the Holy Spirit just laid it on his heart to call me.
One thing that I would read over and over in my quiet times is Psalms 139 about how God created me and God knit me together in my mother's room.
So I talked to him and I talked to his mom and his mom really gave me good counsel and she showed me that verse.
It says you're fearfully and wonderfully made and I know that verse is used a lot, but until that moment, it never spoke into my life.
God just worked in my heart, he did a miracle in my heart and so I haven't done any of that.
I haven't thrown up, I haven't used diet pills, I haven't starved myself, I haven't been on an unhealthy cycle of working out in three years and I just praise God because he set me free from it.
I would say to someone who has the same self-esteem that there are people out there that love you and there are people out there who are there for you and that God loves you and that God is never changing, he is always there for you.
Alright, here's the question, how important is it for you to look good before you walk out that door?
It's very important to look good when I walk out the door in the morning.
I probably spend at least 20 minutes on makeup.
If I don't watch how I look, nobody else is going to look either so.
So you're wanting people to look?
Sure I do.
You don't need a lot of makeup to be beautiful.
I just think it's more important to feel good. I don't really care about clothing or things like that.
I like to look good but I like to look good for myself and when I feel okay with how I look myself then I feel better in my environment.
Comfort to me is a key and I can't find anything I like so I make it. I don't use a pattern, I just make my own things the way that I want to make them.
I don't know, if I'm out and I see something that I like and I have money then I buy it.
Do you think that today's media and the magazines that hit our teenage girls, do you think that they're pushing that kind of agenda?
Or do you think that maybe there's an element of insecurity that girls feel?
They look at the magazines and they want to be seen. Hey, beauty comes in all sizes. Everybody don't want a little bony, puny woman.
I think that they push sex more than anything else.
They say that humans are not perfect but we can be if we want to be. It's all up to us.
You've seen Acquire the Fire, the television show.
Now find out how you can acquire the fire in person and for yourself by calling 1-888-482-FIRE.
You get totally impacted for God.
I had a lot of problems before I came here and I got to get rid of them.
It's really just touching their hearts and lighting the fire.
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I struggled for a long time up until my junior high years. I was so skinny.
So, I mean, being called Bones and any name in the book, at that age, that really hits home.
And that's when you start developing yourself into a problem.
I would agree with that. I struggled with the same thing, although mine was opposite.
I struggle with it still today, but you know what? It's more of a factor of God made me for who I am.
And my weight isn't what's going to make me who I am today. It's my personality. It's what's inside.
And it's just the process of growing up. And right when you get out of high school, your life just completely changes.
Things that you think that you could not live without or you just couldn't be in high school, they're not important. They're not important anymore.
I think as we go through life, I know I still struggle with self-esteem.
And I think the rest, I could probably speak for the rest of my sisters as well as my friends.
And it's tough. It's tough at any age. And there's times when you're feeling great about yourself.
And then there's other times where you kind of come to a low point.
My one piece of advice would be to not set your standards on what you see on television.
Because most of what you see, it's all made up.
It's really important to stay around positive friends.
I think if you're around negative people who are always going to bring you down and always back on you,
I think you need to start eliminating how much time you spend with those people.
And just really throw yourself and involve yourself around positive people such as your friends or your family.
And maybe not always try to please other people. Just find out who you are and yourself.
And once you find that, just grab onto it and stick with it.
And don't try to be someone that you're not.
Keep yourself in God's Word. Find the scripture that you really like. And meditate on it.
Psalms 139, verse 13 starts off with verse 13 and says,
For you have created my inmost being. You knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Also it might help to find somebody who you really trust.
Whether it be a pastor or a counselor at school or a parent.
And let them know what you're feeling. Ask them to pray for you too because prayer is powerful.
I think it's pushing God wants us to have a healthy self-esteem.
And I don't think God wants us to have a low self-esteem.
And to feel like, oh I'm not good enough or I'm not pretty enough.
Because really, if you really think about that, that's something against God because God created us.
God made each one of us how we are for a purpose.
And that purpose is going to do whatever he has for us.
And if he doesn't want me to be used and he can't hurt me, he would have made me that.
He's created each one of us for a different and unique purpose.
He's going to use us according to his plan.
And the more that you become closer and your relationship with God intensifies,
you will understand that I am beautiful because God made me.
What is it that we're going after? Is it just to be beautiful?
What do you think is the underlying thing?
We feel that we need to be perfect.
But we cannot get to the place of being perfect.
But we can get to the place where people will like us, people will pay more attention to us.
We will feel more comfortable with ourselves.
And we think if we get to a certain weight, we'll feel more comfortable with ourselves.
If maybe so and so will give us more attention, we'll feel more comfortable with ourselves.
We've taken our minds off of getting to know God and getting into a relationship with him
so much so that we're mainly getting into what society wants us to look like
or how we want other people to see us.
We're mainly into just being accepted.
It's just a mindset of being accepted and being wanted by other people.
And when we get into that mindset, that's how things like anorexia comes up
or all those things that have just haunted us for so many generations.
Sometimes I worry about what other people think about me, what I'm doing, the things that I'm doing.
Sometimes I go out of my way to even, not even appearance-wise, but in my friendships and stuff,
just to do things that I never normally would do to get their acceptance with the peer pressure and stuff.
And I know with having two sisters at home, it was hard being the youngest
and having other people look at me and say, well, why can't you be like your sister?
Or the peer pressure of your mom maybe saying, why can't you be like your best friend?
She's like this, and really God needs to get inside of you and tell you,
you need to know that you're important and that he's made you the way you are for a reason,
to reach those people that need to hear those things that you have inside that he's wanting to use you as a vessel.
And so I think that's just really important is not to worry about what other people think
or worry about what you actually think. Just know that God has made you who you are.
So good. I think, you know, you guys hit on two major things.
First of all, that it's not just that we want to be beautiful, but we want to be accepted.
We want to be loved for who we are. And the second thing is that we hear all kinds of voices,
maybe from our family, from friends, from society.
And we've got to learn how to replace those negative voices,
those negative things that are not the truth about ourselves with the truth of God's Word.
And that's the only place we're going to find the truth is from God's Word.
If we feel like we're stupid, no, the Bible says that I have the mind of Christ.
If you feel like we're ugly or overweight or underweight, no, I am made in God's image.
I am fearfully and wonderfully made. And when we put the Word of God in our minds
and renew our minds in the truth, then we can really have confidence
and we know, wow, it doesn't matter what anybody else thinks.
God loves me and I can love myself and I can give to this world
instead of worrying about what everyone else thinks.
I know a secret. It's been assumed that God never made a mistake.
The truth is, He only made one. Her name is Chloe.
I never really liked my name, which I guess means that it fits me perfectly.
I have this recurring dream that I'm very small, tiny, like an eardrum.
I write on my phone, I write on my laptop, I write on my laptop,
I'm small, tiny, like an eardrum. I write on bluebird's wings
and can see the city from above. Everyone looks so busy
and none of them seem to care about the bluebird I write on.
Most of my dreams happen in the daytime. I don't even have to close my eyes.
I just disappear. I wasn't always so transparent.
When I was seven, my hair had curls, beautiful curls. My daddy loved them.
If I didn't have curls, daddy would have loved mother more.
But daddy left mother alone, so God left me alone because of my curls.
That's when I disappeared for the first time.
I have it all written down somewhere.
I wrote a letter to God a few years back.
It said, God, I have a confession to make. I'm not who you think I am.
I never finished it.
Have you ever felt so separated that sounds no longer registered
like traffic or screams or warnings?
I saw this movie once about this little boy trapped in a well.
I can really relate to him.
My mother asked me again why I'm so angry.
I don't know where she gets that. I think she's on drugs.
And let's see. I've been called Generation Xer, Alternahippie, Teen Witch.
Ms. Malcolm in English Lit made us write an essay describing our generation.
Really subtle psychology.
I left the page blank. Got an A.
If I felt like I had a generation, I probably wouldn't feel so poisonous.
You know, like I can't touch things.
I should have finished my letter to God.
I would have tried to change the bad impression I left him.
I blame it on my head.
I feel like a snowball is in my eye.
I feel that way all the time.
I would have apologized for my curly hair and asked for one last chance.
But I never finished it.
I couldn't risk the chance.
I'm too busy.
Busy being silent.
Busy being invisible.
I have a confession to make.
I'm not who I think I am.
So what do you do now that you're all fired up?
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As you can see, there's so many young ladies feeling just like what you've just seen.
Maybe that's you, comparing yourself to the world, feeling empty, feeling like nothing.
And listen, we've got an expert on the subject, my wife Katie.
She's written this book called The Pursuit of Beauty, speaking to young ladies all over the nation,
helping them to find out who they are because of what God says.
I know that there's so many of you watching that really don't feel like you're worth very much.
In fact, if you were to put a price tag on your life, how much would it be?
Would it be $50 or $100 or $1,000?
You know, God already put the price tag on your life,
and He is the only one that has the authority to say how much you're worth.
He already sent His Son, Jesus, to die on the cross for you.
And that is how much you're worth. You are worth the Son of God's blood.
I want to pray with you today if you feel like that.
And maybe you have never even given your life to God before.
That is what He requires of us.
He's given His whole life for us, and now we've got to give our whole lives to Him.
Oh God, I come before You, and Lord, I've never realized how much You love me.
And God, I ask that right now You will come into my life and change me forever.
I commit my whole life to You.
And God, I ask that You would forgive me of my sin and make me pure and holy before You.
In Jesus' name, Amen.
Amen. If you just prayed that prayer, if you just gave your life to Jesus,
we are so proud of you. What a great day for you.
Now, would you email us, write us a letter, let us know,
hey, I gave my life to Jesus, or I recommitted my life to God.
I'm not playing any games anymore.
Listen, if you want information about how to get this book, The Pursuit of Beauty,
it will help you deal with these issues and help you grow strong as a woman of God
so you don't believe the lies of the world anymore.
Just write us, and we'll tell you how you can get it.
God bless you. Thank you for tuning in to Acquire the Fire.
We'll see you next time.
Amen.
We'll see you next time.