How much is this video game gonna cost me?
How can you put a price on experiencing what it's like
to be a starship doctor on the front lines
of an alien invasion?
Again I ask, what's it gonna cost me?
You're kinda fixated here.
Okay, it can be had for the low, low price of $55.
$55?
If that's low, low, I say no, no.
You bet.
Tell Dad that $55 is not unreasonable for a CD-ROM game.
$55 is extremely reasonable for a CD-ROM game.
Thank you.
It's also extremely reasonable for a pair
of gold tube earrings on sale at Macy's.
Hey, if you're gonna buy something for Yvette,
the least you could do is buy something for me.
All right, I'll solve this.
I ain't buying nothing for nobody.
Dad, can I have a car?
I'm not buying you a car.
Now I didn't ask you to buy me a car, did I?
I saved up $300.
Oh, well it's your money, Marcus.
If you can find a car for $300, you can buy it.
Ta-da!
You bought a car for $300?
Nah, Mo bought it.
Hello there.
Yeah, the whole thing cost $600, but I chipped in 300.
Hey, we considered the $200 car,
but at that price you just asking for trouble.
Does a $600 car have an engine?
Of course it does.
Oh yeah, it's right here in the back seat.
Not a problem, okay?
Not a problem.
Hey, between us we can fix this thing up,
cause Mo took auto shop.
Mo didn't take auto shop, Mo is auto shop.
Hey, Mo, there's a latch behind the grill.
Thank you.
See, I came late to auto shop,
and I got there the hoods was already up.
My dad said if I wanted to get a CD-ROM game,
I have to buy it with my own money.
Where do they come up with this absurd nonsense?
Well, you know what we could do?
I've been trying to get a CD-ROM game,
but I can't find it anywhere.
I've been talking to this kid in the hyper games chat room.
He is so dope.
He's selling bootleg copies of Starship Doctor.
How much?
$20.
I can find that much in my dad's couch.
Yeah, but see their bootleg,
which means you're dealing with not entirely legal stuff.
Come on, he's charging less than half price.
That's because it's counterfeit, hence a crime.
A crime is charging 55 bucks for a disc
that cost them $2 to make.
Well put.
I just don't want to get in trouble.
What are you, a wuss?
A wuss?
No one is less wuss-like than me, my little princess.
Oh, yeah?
Prove it.
What's the kid's online name?
Markey412.
So Markey, is Starship Doctor still available?
Oh, good it is.
Yes. Wow.
Look at all the other games he's selling.
We have hit the mother load.
Oh, I want that one.
And that one.
I want all of them.
There's just one problem.
What's that?
We still don't have the money.
Oh, yeah.
Door's working.
Door won't stop working.
Tell him we'll meet him at Doll Burger at 530
with games in hand.
We'll be wearing Orioles caps.
But we don't have the money.
What's the matter?
Can't you hear the sound of opportunity honking?
So is the car running yet?
Shh.
Can't you see the man is working?
One more adjustment and got it.
All right, now stand back.
This baby's ready to fly.
Uh-uh.
Hey!
Yeah!
All right, you've been stereo.
You are a genius.
Thank you, my brother.
And now our patented happy dance.
All right.
Where's that?
Uh-uh.
Shake it to the E.
Shake it to the where?
Where?
Shake it to the south.
Uh-huh.
What's it all about?
Uh-uh.
Is the car ever going to take the stereo anywhere
or is it just gonna be on permanent display here?
Please, girl, let a man enjoy his handiwork.
Maybe you guys should concentrate
on making the engine dance.
We can't.
The starter doesn't work.
And we don't have enough money to buy a new one.
Well, I could maybe help you guys out
if you make me an equal partner in the car.
Let me talk to my guy.
No, no, no, no, no.
You're in.
For 300 pounds.
I can fix the starter.
All right, sorry, Ved, we don't need your money anymore.
You're out.
Excuse me.
I said I'd fix it.
I didn't say I'd fix it for free.
You're back in.
You go.
Okay, how much, little man?
How much do we need?
For all three games, $60.
$65.
I threw in munch.
Great!
I'm an equal partner for $65.
I'll get your money.
Just do your stuff, little pet boy.
Every time I try to get this starter to work,
it just gives me a little ka-ching, ka-ching, ka-ching,
ka-ching, it won't turn over.
Hmm.
Your service record should be paper clipped
to the inside of your owner's manual.
Can I have that, please?
Here's your key.
You gonna make copies of that?
Do you think Markie 412 is outta here?
Ooh, how about that kid?
Do you think that's him?
Is that him?
Yes, they're all him.
Actually, I'm him.
You're Markie 412?
You're not a kid.
Ah, you saw through my disguise.
We thought you were a kid
because you were in the kids' chat room.
Yeah, I know. I'm old.
I'm old enough to remember Pong.
Ancient video game.
Little ball, back and forth all day long.
Ding, ding, ding, ding.
Not a good game.
Have a seat.
I don't know if we should.
Look, I didn't mean to mislead you,
but I like to talk games.
And who else likes games?
Kids.
At last. Someone who understands me.
Okay, now that we understand each other,
did you bring the...
goods?
Your boyfriend is all business.
He's not my boyfriend.
Well, I'd grab him up. He's a real catch.
Don't worry. I brought your games.
That part was for you.
Starship Doctor.
Here are the other two games you ordered.
And I threw in a copy of Tech-Secutioner
just because you guys are Orioles fans.
Excellent. It's a pleasure doing business with you.
Uh, uh, actually, until you give me the money,
it's not really business.
It's more like you're ripping me off.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'm new at this.
That's okay. You're doing fine,
except for the not giving me the money part.
There you go.
I can't wait to show my dad how many games I bought
with my own money.
Do me a favor.
I'd appreciate it if you would not say anything to your dad.
I'm selling bootleg copies,
a practice that is frowned upon by big companies
and law-abiding fathers, so this is just between us.
Deal?
Deal.
Okay. If you want any more games,
you know how to find me.
Careful, Doctor.
Careful.
Ew!
Well, that's obviously not how you take an alien's temperature.
Hey, he's got 17 different places to put a thermometer.
I took a shot.
I heard screaming.
Want to make sure everything's okay?
Oh, it's okay, Dad. We're just playing Doctor.
Come again?
Starship Doctor.
Oh, that's that game you were telling me about?
Yep. And you know what, Dad?
I bought it with my own money.
Hey.
God bless the child that's got his own.
That must be $200 worth of games there.
Yeah.
I thought you only took Marcus and Moe for $65.
Oh, yeah.
That paid for this game.
The rest of the games are Karen's, right?
Yeah. I got them as gifts.
Yeah. Nothing odd about that.
People get gifts, except in this house.
Well, Karen's a very lucky girl.
As for you, dinner's in an hour.
Bread and water as usual on 10 plates.
I don't think he suspected anything.
Hey, you have mail.
It's from Marky412.
He wants to meet us in the chat room.
There he is.
He wants to know if we're happy with the games.
What a good guy.
Yeah. He really stands behind his stolen products.
He has some new games in.
Grave Robber 2 and Clowns of War, $20 each.
Great.
We'll get the cash,
and we'll meet you at Dog Burger at 530.
Good idea.
I can't leave the house.
I'm trying to meet a deadline
on a new video game I'm inventing.
Wow. He makes his own games?
Whoa. He says if we want to come over, we can test it.
Hey, he lives pretty close.
Yeah, I'll just tell Dad we're going.
Hello? Mark said no dads.
Oh, yeah.
Look, we'll sneak out the side door.
That way my dad won't see us.
Come on.
All right, try now.
She's not doing it right, man. You try.
Okay, cool.
Thank you.
No sign of Dad.
All right, let's go. Hang on.
We got some games to buy.
I got to make one more stop at the cash machine.
So, how's it going?
Good, good, good. We're good.
The car's not working.
Need help?
No, everything's shit. We cool.
They're lying. Can you fix it?
Sure, but it's going to cost you.
How much? What, 65 bucks again?
No, 66. That way it's divisible by three.
Is it?
Okay, but no paper clips this time.
No paper clips.
Because that was embarrassing.
Stand back, please.
All right, don't try the air filter
because that's brand new.
Yeah, and don't try the carburetor
because that's new too.
Well, you're right. The engine's fine.
You're out of gas.
Man, I hate him who's with me.
Wow.
Whoa. This place is amazing.
Just a little something I threw together.
We've got Clowns of War over there,
Grave Robber 2 on that one,
and Ultra Blaster 4 over there.
Oh, and here's the one I was telling you about.
Whoa.
This is like a virtual reality setup.
Very good. Well, you are smart.
I'm calling it Surf City.
And the idea is you select famous beaches
from around the world,
Zuma, Waimea Bay, Sunset Beach,
and you test your surfing skills.
Sounds cool.
Here's the really cool part.
I used that video camera to put your image in the game.
Wow. Can we do it?
Well, sure. You'll be the first.
Okay. What do we have to do?
Okay. You stand on the platform in front of the blue screen,
which allows me to put the ocean behind you.
And you watch yourself surf on the monitor.
Now, the longer you ride, the higher your score.
But remember, there are sharks, eels, and jellyfish,
and they're trying to get you.
All right. I'm ready to hang ten. Let her rip.
Whoa. Watch out.
Watch out.
Whoa. Watch out.
Whoa.
Oh, man. Cool.
Oh.
Boy, that was great. This game rocks.
Thanks.
After all, you guys are the buyers I gotta please.
Well, I think we got a winner here.
The only thing that's weird is,
see, you're surfing in your sweaters and jeans.
It sort of ruins the reality of this.
You really ought to be in swimsuits.
That may be winter wear in Hawaii,
but not D.C., which stands for darn cold.
But you're wearing underwear, right?
I mean, boxers are just like jams.
That might work. What do you think?
Uh, I'd rather not.
Yeah, I'm more comfortable like this.
I gotcha.
You know, I have other friends
who were a little nervous at first,
but, you know, after they played for a while,
they really loosened up.
I'll show you some pictures.
See? This is Melissa.
She's your age, and the first time she came here,
she was nervous too.
But she got comfortable and started getting into it,
and before you knew it,
she was surfing with her shirt off.
I thought you said that we were the first to try this game.
Oh, you are? For this version?
I've had to redo it several times,
you know, to get the bugs out.
I haven't let anybody try this version.
Come on, who wants to catch a wave?
You don't have to take off your pants.
Just take off your shirt.
Uh, I think we should go.
Hey, what's the rush?
Listen, let's forget about Surf City.
I have been having a lot of trouble
with level six of Ultra Blaster 4.
Ooh, Ultra Blaster 4.
You know, I bet a smart kid like you
could really help us figure this out.
No, I gotta get home for dinner.
Ah, that's too bad.
Karen, you can still stay, right?
Yeah, I guess.
No, she's having dinner at my house, right?
No, I'm not.
You are tonight.
Why are you acting so weird?
Low blood sugar. I'm hungry. Come on.
Okay, okay, I'll go.
Hey, you guys can come back any time you want.
Just don't forget our little agreement
not to tell your parents.
You don't want them mad at you for buying bootleg games.
Don't worry, we won't tell anybody about anything.
Come on.
Will you listen to that?
Yeah, it's saying, hey, Mo, there ain't no cops around.
Take me up to 80.
All right.
You wreck my third of the car,
I wreck a very important third of you.
Hey, you got it running.
Was there any doubt?
There was only doubt.
But I'm glad to see you proved me wrong.
All right, thanks, pops.
All right, you guys ready to take it out on the road?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, we got everything we need.
We got the tires cast up, tires inflated,
little green air freshener to smell like a pine tree.
I got rid of the zebra seat covers.
You win some, you lose some.
So basically, we got it all covered.
Oh, you got insurance?
That's gonna cost some money, isn't it?
Three teenagers in a muscle car, you define high risk.
Man, we're gonna have to sell another piece of this car.
Mr. Henderson, I find myself in a position
to offer you the deal of a lifetime.
Now, just what would it take to get you
behind the wheel of this beauty?
Vanessa Williams in the passenger seat.
Hey, little man, where you been?
Uh, nowhere.
Hey, TJ, you know we got the car running.
Great.
What's wrong, TJ?
Nothing.
Got a problem with your computer, son?
No, just had enough of it.
What, enough of your computer?
What, are you sick?
I'm fine, I'm okay.
Really?
It's just that usually when you say I'm fine, I'm okay,
it means I'm not fine, I'm not okay.
Well, in this case, it means I'm fine.
Fine.
Do you have a fight with Karen?
No, and I don't want to talk about it.
Okay, well, at least we've established
that there's an it you don't want to talk about.
But if you're not ready, I can wait.
It's just that you need to know that at some point,
we're going to have to talk about it.
I just don't know where to start.
Don't make such a big deal out of it.
Just start talking, eventually it'll come out.
Karen and I were talking to this guy we met in the chat room.
Mm-hmm.
He was selling some bootleg games.
Bootleg games?
Come on, T.J., you know better than that.
That's not it.
There's more?
See, he was in the kids' chat room.
Mm-hmm.
But he wasn't a kid.
Yes, I'm here at their house with the family now.
Thanks, I'll tell them.
It turns out that the man your son told us about
has served time for this before.
He's currently on parole.
Just talking to your son and his friend was a violation of that.
He's been arrested.
He's in custody.
He's not getting out on bail, is he?
No, sir.
It's lucky for him.
Hey, T.J., you hear that?
Because you told me what happened,
he's not going to be able to do that to anybody anymore.
Yeah, way to go, T.J., you did the right thing.
The important thing is that you felt something was wrong
and you got out of there.
And you got Karen out, too.
You're a hero, T.J.
Thanks.
I'm tired, Dad.
Can I go to bed now?
Sure.
Come on, I'll tuck you in.
Dad?
Dad!
Yeah, T.J., you OK?
What are you doing down here?
I went in your room and you weren't there.
Well, I came down here because I couldn't sleep.
I just came down to read.
Then leave a note or something.
Don't just not be in your room.
Look, it's OK.
Everything's all right.
Did you have a bad dream or something?
I don't know.
I just woke up and I couldn't fall back asleep.
You can stay down here with me if you want.
Thanks.
Want to watch some TV or something?
I was so stupid.
Come on now, it's not your fault.
Everybody keeps saying that.
Everybody wants me to feel better.
Well, I don't.
Look, you made a mistake, T.J. Now, you
went over to a stranger's house and you shouldn't have.
But we're all just glad that you're safe.
But he wasn't a stranger.
I met him on the net.
He was a nice guy.
You know, that's what scares me about this whole internet
thing.
I mean, you're talking to a guy before you ever get to see him.
So he feels like he's not a stranger.
But you know what?
He is.
And that's probably why you felt like it was OK to go over there.
But it wasn't OK.
And as soon as you saw that, you got out.
Well, it won't happen again.
I packed up the modem and I'm giving it away.
I don't want to talk to anybody on that thing ever again.
Yeah, I understand.
I could kind of be throwing out the baby with the bathwater,
though.
Now, sure.
The internet let that guy in the house.
But doesn't it connect you to a lot of good things
and good people?
But how do you know who's good and who's not?
You don't.
But if you're not sure, you can always come to me.
I'm open 24 hours a day.
No access charges, no busy signals.
You can always get through.
OK.
Good.
Wait a minute.
What about when you're watching Monday Night Football?
Halftime.
And commercials.
There's lots of those.
Yeah.
OK, now this is the last schedule that I'm drawing up.
Now, Yvette, Tuesdays and Saturdays.
Marcus, Wednesdays and Sundays.
Me, Mondays and Fridays.
Man, I don't want Wednesdays and Sundays.
And I don't want the car on Tuesdays.
Well, I don't want the car on Mondays.
Nobody likes the schedule.
That's what makes it the perfect compromise.
You know what?
This isn't working.
Let's go back to months, all right?
January, February, March.
I am not taking a car in February.
February is a short month.
Even on leap year.
Look, I say we wrestle for it.
Best two out of three falls.
Oh, yeah, I like that.
I'm never working for this guy again.