You are still the one who makes me laugh
Still the one, always my better half
We're still having fun and you're still, you're still the one
Still the one
Still the one who can scratch my itch
Still the one who told me I wouldn't switch
We're still having fun and you're still, you're still the one
You are
Still the one who makes me laugh
Still the one, always my better half
We're still having fun and you're still, you're still the one
You are
Still the one
Oh, it was really pathetic, yeah.
Four people would sit out front and clap him.
Yeah, I know the one, I'm working with him.
But here is a highlight and a tribute to the Compears of IMT.
Mike Preston swings like a pendulum do-do
Barbies on bicycles two by two
Where Smith and Rabby the Tower of Big Ben
The rosy red cheeks of the little children
And you know, Bruce, Bert was in everything.
Yes, as a guest on other people's shows or as a host of his own, and he deserved to be.
What about joining me in a round?
Oh, I thought you'd given that up.
I told you.
You're back on it, aren't you?
I don't mean that.
Oh, I don't know.
Well, listen, uh...
I thought of it as a song or something.
Well, listen, let's do the one we always do.
All right?
All right.
Without you, I'm nothing
Without you, I'm nowhere
Without you, my life is stormy
Graham and I were not going to work together on IMT.
Norm Spencer felt that what he would like to do as program director was to put me into mornings,
because television then began at around about, I guess, one o'clock lunchtime.
He wanted to open up television first thing in the morning,
which for that period of time was quite revolutionary,
and for me to do in the morning what Graham was doing so successfully at night.
So it happened that I was just wandering around the corridors being reasonably well paid to do nothing,
the occasional commercial, the occasional voiceover,
and my old friends at Seven were saying,
they've bought you to the station to kill you, you know, to get you off here and the whole thing.
I didn't believe that, and I was right and they were wrong,
because one day, four in Melbourne tonight, one of the announcers on the show took ill or suddenly drunk or something,
and I was called on and did a commercial with Graham,
and the thirty-second commercial ran for seventeen minutes,
and it was very funny, I must admit, as I recall.
They must have thought it was very funny too, because after the show,
Norm called me aside and said, forget the morning program.
You start on IMT as of tomorrow night, and that was it.
You've got to do yours.
No, no, no.
Go on.
Rest early in the morning.
Yes.
There's quite a difference, but I'll do one late at night first.
No, no.
You've got to start off early in the morning.
Early in the morning.
Woo-hoo!
Now, one late at night.
Woo-hoo!
Woo!
Ugly Dave Gray was another delight to work with,
because I've always found that with great comedians,
they know the jokes, but they also know how to dress them,
and Dave going into a sketch would know the sketch word for word.
What the rest of us around him wouldn't know was what he was going to add to it,
and he had that aforementioned ability too.
The hardest sound, the hardest sound to get is the sound,
the hardest sound is the sound of B, B for, B for...
Goggler gear, and goggler gear, and goggler gear, and goggler gear,
and goggler gear, and goggler gear.
And also...
Greg and Gusset, Greg and Gusset, Greg and Gusset.
Tremendous.
And tonight's guest compare, Ugly Dave Gray.
Oh, boy, I'm lucky.
Yes, I say I'm lucky.
This is my lucky day.
Well, I've got Graham to thank again for that,
because he decided to leave television in late 69,
and I'd been doing his show on a pretty regular basis.
And he said to the audience one night,
you're probably reading in the papers that they're looking for a replacement for me.
He said, I don't think they need to look any further than Ugly Dave Gray.
Good evening, ladies, I've got a fabulous show for you tonight, really.
I would like to tell you about one or two of the artists we have on for you tonight.
We've got a stripper on board tonight, a stripper with a difference.
The difference is she finishes up fully clothed and you're all naked.
My first wife, Gail, she was a dancer originally,
and I met her in a review in England.
And when we came to Australia, I said, would you like to do a bit of comedy?
And she said, I don't know if I can.
So I said, can you keep a straight face?
So I used to do funny things in front of her, and she'd laugh.
I said, no, you've got to teach yourself not to laugh
because working deadpan, as we call it in Shelby, is very, very difficult.
You must give it feeling, and I don't feel you!
LAUGHTER
See? Rock, you know? See?
Rock, rock, rock, you know? Rock everybody, rock!
No.
Not your sock! Rock!
And Jimmy Hannon, he was versatile.
Yes, he was, Phil. He was the only IMT comp here to come from a game show as a contestant.
All right, you're watching my show tonight.
GDV was the production station of the whole TV industry.
It was tremendous working with the ballet.
There was Carl and Carol and Laurel and Fayette and oh, many of the girls there.
They were just a tremendous group.
And they were just living up and being a lovely one!
Oh, I can remember having a shot of Tiny Tim.
Tiptoe through the tulips of the tulips
That is where I'll find you, Tiptoe, through the tulips, oh, with me
Oh!
And then like all red-blooded Aussie males, up in mighty blues,
of course I put on a dress and played a Sheila at the barrel.
Hello. Hello. Oh, hello.
I do believe, Stuart, that our phone contestant's name... Hello.
No, I can hear you, do you?...is Mrs. Eileen Hanson of flat 200...
Don't keep saying hello, do you? You sound like you only know one word.
...flat 200, 150 Inkeman Street, St. Kilda. Are you there, Eileen?
This is Eileen on the scene. Thank you, Eileen, on that end.
It's Eileen on the end. Hello, Eileen.
How are you, Eileen? Hello? Hello? Hello?
She's on the end! She's on the end.
It was just the best feeling to work at GDV. It was really a great time.
On a current affair, fast cash for illegal fishing...
Camera doesn't lie....outlaws caught red-handed time and time again...
It's a bit like picking out $50 notes off the ocean floor.
...stripping our waterways of wildlife and reeling in the profits...
We have no shame about this whatsoever. None whatsoever.
...plus stuck in the debt spiral... We just kind of drift from disaster to disaster.
...how to manage your finances and find extra money...
I've allowed myself $200 a month with money bags.
...and Brad Pitt looking for love. Are we on the love conversation now?
When Listen presents A Current Affair.
The federal government plans to change existing copyright laws
that protect the Australian music industry.
Why would our government do the exact opposite of countries like America, England, New Zealand and Canada?
Countries that look after their music and other cultural industries.
The moves under consideration threaten not only the way we make and market our music...
...but the jobs of thousands of Aussies who make it happen.
Please, Prime Minister, support our industry and save jobs.
It's time to face the music.
Authorised by David Snow for Aria Sydney.
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So how's it going?
You know, we've never been so well off.
The house has paid off, the kids have left home.
We've even got some spare money to invest.
I know nothing about investing.
Nor do we.
That's why before investing we chose an investment manager based on performance.
You found a good one?
Sure did.
You should see how they performed over the last few years.
Really?
Ready?
You'll never guess who performs like that.
AMP.
AMP?
AMP.
40 incredible years.
Now Cliff returns to Australia.
DCE in 2WS presents Cliff Richard, the 40th anniversary tour.
Presented in the round and featuring the Australian Philharmonic Orchestra.
Cliff Richard, the 40th anniversary tour.
Sydney Entertainment Centre, Wednesday February 18.
Tickets on sale Monday October 20.
Get a little flower pot and fill it with all the flowers.
Plant a tiny seed of the brightest gold.
Cheryl Gray, what an amazing girl.
She was only 6 when her voice broke and it remained that way.
But she later became Samantha Fox, didn't she?
She didn't though.
No, Cheryl Gray, she was Cheryl Gray forever.
No, she was the daughter of Reg Gray and Joan Cliff.
They say never work with animals as I am today, or children.
But here's a good example.
Here's a child from the IMT audience who wasn't too happy about his seating arrangement
and he decided to do something about it.
I wonder where he is today.
I got a little pooped away.
When, tonight?
Yes.
Oh, dirty poop.
How do you mean they gave you to the toilet?
Well, we got special tickets from you to go in the front.
Oh.
And I didn't allow you to go in the front.
We went back there, you see.
Yes, I see.
Definitely a problem.
Did you just come up of your own accord or did someone suggest that you come up?
Well, my mother asked me to come up, so I came up and I, but you see,
Mummy wanted me to come up to give that cake to you.
Oh, yes.
And she asked me to make compensation, so I am.
That was Michael Lee.
I'll bet his mum was proud of him.
I wonder if this girl's mother is just as proud.
Do you know what it looks like here?
No, Graham.
Well, it's liquor.
It's alcohol.
I hate it.
Do you?
Yes.
How old are you?
Nine and a half.
Have you ever had a glass of wine?
No.
A sip of Dad's beer?
No.
Does Dad have a beer?
No.
It's Mum that hits it, eh?
Do you know anyone that drinks?
Have you seen anyone drink?
Yes.
Who?
My auntie and uncle.
Oh.
Is this frowned upon?
I mean...
I beg your pardon?
How does Mum and Dad feel about
Auntie and Uncle getting on it?
Mummy said that she doesn't like Auntie Margaret.
Oh.
Yes.
Drink, only because she has a sip or two.
Yes, I understand.
Kids, here's a young Tony Sheldon
with Graham Kennedy on IMT.
Do you really want to be a comedian when you grow up
or is that just the words of the song?
Oh, that's just the words of the song.
Oh.
How do you think it would be
being funny on television night after night?
I think it would be a bit of a drag.
Bit of a drag.
Well, listen, I'll run through some things
and you tell me if any of these vocations suit you.
Would you like to swing on a star?
Carry moonbeams home in a jar
and be better off than you are?
Or would you rather be a mule?
A mule is an animal with long, funny ears.
He kicks up at anything he hears.
That's true.
His back is karate-bound, his brain is weak.
He's just plain stupid with a stubborn streak.
And by the way, if you hate to go to school...
You may go up to be a mule.
Do you realise that's young Butch Sheldon,
who today is Tony Sheldon,
a very respected producer, director and writer.
In fact, he's working with Rhonda Burchmore at the casino
in red, white and blue.
No, in red, hot and Rhonda.
That's it. That's it.
It's like a flag.
Phil, what are these, Bruce?
Oh, shoes.
They belonged to Jerry G.
They were made by Raoul Merton,
one of the big shoe sponsors in those days,
and they clad the feet of one Gigi.
They used to lend them out to Michael Scherberger.
Ah, lovely tarot cards.
Hello, boys and girls. How are you?
Welcome to our programme.
We're going to tell you a lovely Christmas story tonight.
Yes, now, just before we do anything at all,
would you come a little bit closer, if you will, please?
Ah, that's more like it. Thank you, Mr Cameraman.
Now, I'll open the page of this book, the first page.
Just have a look at this, and this is how it all started.
Well, when I was in the Army, which is a long, long time ago,
a lot of the fellows were all groaning and moaning
about carrying their equipment into this particular hut,
and I thought to myself, well, I'm going to make it right.
So I went out to the front of the place,
and I printed up the Happy Club.
Next morning, the sergeant came in, and he said,
what happy so-and-so put that up there?
And I had to step forward, and from that point on,
I was known as Happy Hamman.
Oh, today I feel so happy, so happy, so happy.
I don't know why I'm happy. I only know I am.
Oh!
And every girl who watched TV
dreamed of looking like Susan Gay Anderson.
Yes, Phil, and some of the blokes did as well.
This is the story of the magic mirror.
It all happened a long, long time ago.
I'm not sure how I got into children's side of television.
I think that probably I had the right image
that they were looking for, you know, the girl next door,
whatever it was.
I wasn't a sophisticated person, and maybe that came through,
and I genuinely liked children.
I felt comfortable with them,
and I guess they felt comfortable with me,
so I think that might have had something to do with it.
What's your name?
My name's Ron.
And I'm Jaren.
My name's Mark.
And I'm Cindy.
Tell me, would you like to believe in Christmas?
Oh, it would be wonderful.
In Christmas and in all the other things
that boys and girls like us believe in.
The annual Christmas panto.
Remember, Ernie Carroll and Denzelhausen produced it every year,
and it was a lavish production for its time.
Ron Blaskett and Jerry G appeared on The Tarak Show and IMT.
Yes, and had their own series, The Adventures of Jerry G.
That should have been Jerry G and Ron Blaskett,
and he said, Ron Blaskett and Jerry G.
Perhaps I'd better explain right at the outset.
The only little one is Jerry G.
Denzelhausen, who was a genius in my opinion,
decided to make a series of films called The Adventures of Jerry G,
and Jerry G had to walk, become Tarzan G, Pimpernel G,
a la the Scarlet Pimpernel, all sorts of roles like that,
and we accomplished this by means of having a little boy,
the right size, who wore the same costumes,
and we would intercut Jerry G himself with the little boy in long shot.
And so Jerry G came to life, and in fact,
it has been said to me recently by Hang Lady,
I didn't know Jerry G could walk.
Well, Phil, how would you sum up those early days?
Well, Bruce, let's leave it to Happy, Ron and Jerry.
It's a hap-happ-happy day, to-lid-lid-lid-lid-lay,
for you and me, for us and we, all the clouds have rolled away.
It's a hap-happ-happy day, to-lid-lid-lid-lid-lid-lid-lay, remember? See, that goes back.
The sun shines bright and the world's alright, it's a hap-happ-happy day.
To the millions of people who've seen Men in Black, we'd like to say...
Please look directly into your television.
Men in Black.
See it again.
For the first time.
Six Australian women die every day from breast cancer,
and the number diagnosed is increasing.
Breast cancer research is vital to improve treatment,
to find its causes, and ultimately to prevent it.
And Australia has its own world-renowned national breast cancer research group,
the Breast Cancer Institute of Australia.
So please, during Breast Cancer Month, make a difference,
make a $10 donation to breast cancer research.
Call 1900 185 080 now to make your donation.
Raymond, we hear a lot about bank fees.
Is it true that Rams has no hidden fees?
Yep.
No hidden charges?
Yep.
No hidden costs at all?
Yep.
So Rams Home Loan Manager and our plain English Info Pack
will explain everything so you'll know exactly what you're up for.
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So I guess that makes it an even better home loan.
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I see.
Rams Home Loans, 1800 069070.
You will do better at Rams.
You need to practice, Raymond.
I trained my boy McNeil to go toe-to-toe with the champ.
And he did for 89 seconds.
He didn't back down from any combinations thrown at him.
And he ain't backing down from this one.
Cheddar and bacon stuffed crust pizza from Pizza Hut.
Not just cheese, but bacon baked right into the crust.
So good you'll eat it backwards.
Show them, kid.
Oh, no!
Oh, boy.
The new one-two combination cheddar and bacon stuffed crust pizza from Pizza Hut.
Hey, McNeilly, how many slices am I holding?
You're gonna have to do it again.
Well, they say that variety is the spice of life.
And even Sir Eric Pierce got into the act, Bruce.
Yes, he did.
Yes.
Well, that's it, God bless you and you.
Remember Thursday?
Oh, that's a lot of bad impersonation.
Yeah, of Peter Hitchin, yes.
Oh, thanks.
This used to be the old Heinz factory, which produced 57 varieties, didn't it?
Yes, I know.
And we at Channel 9 produced thousands upon thousands of variety shows.
I was part of many of those shows, as you'd well recall.
Rehearsals only.
Elaine McKenna commenced her television career on The Tarak Show.
And the girl next door went on to become a much-loved member of the IMT family.
This is my lucky day.
A little touch of Ireland with the fine voice of Bill McCormack.
When I remind my little baby...
Diana Trask, one of the first people to achieve international acclaim.
On Sing Along with Mitch.
Unforgivable in every way.
Cole Joy has been in the business for 40 years.
And he appeared often on IMT.
I've been coming getting for me and my girl.
Lana Cantrell was just 17 when she performed on IMT.
Wasn't she Graham's fiancée?
Yes, for 20 minutes.
We all know this hit song performed by Frankie Davidson in these very studios.
In 1962.
Dorothy Baker was an IMT favorite.
And she still sings her Vera Lynn songs today.
You know, Phil, of all those variety performers, just one or two remain.
That's very kind of you, Bruce. Thank you for the compliment.
I was talking about Daryl Songz.
I got my start through...the popular belief was through New Faces.
But it was actually through an audition.
I'd been on New Faces as a contestant.
But it was an audition with Ernie Carroll, who was Ozzy.
And it was in June of 1971.
And I had to sit at a desk and talk about Bugs Bunny and Popeye and Mr. Magoo.
And do a Coke ad and what have you.
So it was quite strange.
And then three weeks after that I thought...I landed the job.
And I thought, isn't it incredible you can make such an idiot of yourself
and get somewhere in this business.
Me? My mother, Joc Strang, and two lovely sisters are coming up from Geelong.
Two sisters. She asked me to entertain them, but I thought you'd be the guy.
That's tremendous, Bert. It's my pleasure.
They'll be arriving shortly. So I'll go downstairs and wait for them.
As soon as they arrive, I'll send them up.
Heaven, I thank you enough. That's tremendous of you.
Daryl, that's what friends are for. Isn't he fantastic?
I've got to get rid of him. Two girls.
Boy. I don't like the place.
Must be the two sisters from Geelong.
Come in.
I hosted IMT twice. Once in 73.
Although at that stage it was called the Graham Kennedy Show.
And Graham took a holiday for no other reason than he deserved one.
And Jim McKay, who was the program manager here at the time,
rang me and said, Daryl, would you like to fill in for Graham?
How am I going so far?
All right?
Thank you. You've given me confidence.
This, of course, is the biggest moment of my career.
Ozzie and I lasted 23 years, and that was a long time for Ernie,
who, when he retired at 65 or 66, had his arm up an ostrich for a long, long time.
Ozzie was very much an important part of my early career.
Daryl, I'm a bit upset.
Yes? Why?
Upset, I am.
Because it looks as if you're going to be a big star on the night telly,
and I'm going to lose you, and I'm not going to have you on the kids' show,
and I'm going to be on the...
Well...
I have that performing streak there, and I love performing.
For you and me, I'm sure you'll see
That is how it's going to be, just come with me
Probably I could paraphrase my first words on television,
which were, Hi, I'm Daryl Summers, and I'll be here for as long as you'll have me.
Gee, Bruce, I wonder what would have happened to him if he hadn't gone into television.
I guarantee you he'd be still playing the drums.
Oh, what?
Drumming is my life.
A race is on.
OK, everyone, on your marks.
As Rick returns risking over $40,000 worth of prizes.
Feeling all right, feeling confident?
It's a better battle for sales supremacy, 7 o'clock Monday on Channel 9.
We'll be right back.
The GM Card from Holden, a great deal more rewarding.
To the millions of people who've seen Men in Black, we'd like to say
Please look directly into your television.
Men in Black.
See it again.
For the first time.
Malibu.
Let us sign into your spirit.
A talent new words cannot describe.
Funniest Home Videos Tuesday.
Thank you, Graham.
Happy birthday, incidentally.
It's all right, Phil.
I haven't had a chance to say hello.
And many more of them.
I hope you're still here in another 10 years.
We'll discuss that later.
Where'd you get your suit from?
Do you like it?
It's a Peter Jackson creation, and it's double-breasted, and it's got brass buttons.
And what do you think?
How could you sum it up in a word?
You can't do that.
You can't sum it up in a word.
Do you like it?
Yes and no, Phil.
How do you think it'll look on you, Graham?
Oh, wrong.
Wrong for me.
Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong.
No, it's more you than me.
It's very Carnaby Street, don't you feel?
Yeah.
Uh-huh.
You could say that.
What's the difference, can't you, between one off the hook and a 90 quid one?
Sorry, Phil, go on.
How did you know this was a 90 quid one?
Oh.
I am ashamed to even be working with that coat.
That is disgraceful.
A Peter Jackson special.
I was something of a toff in the 1970s.
In fact, I still wear that coat occasionally to weddings and stuff,
although I may give it away to the Salvation Army.
I don't think they'd even accept it.
But commercials were an integral part of the shows, weren't they, in those days?
Yes, and you know, Bruce, sometimes the commercials ran for many minutes.
Well, I remember you had a commercial that was supposed to go for a minute.
How long did it run?
Fifteen seconds.
I might have forgotten my lines.
Anything and everything could and did happen in live commercials.
Here's Judy Ann Ford.
Hello, everyone.
You know, it is rather nice to be back tonight and more especially...
It's especially nice to be back with such a good old friend as Robert Tim's Royal Special Coffee.
It's a pleasure to talk about it again, you know.
Making good coffee is just as easy as making good tea, even when balloons are popping all around you.
As Frank Rich experienced, nothing was straightforward when doing live commercials with the King.
I say it's a jumping log.
Good.
With a smile on his face, the perfect frog.
Hey ho!
Oh, get off.
Said Anthony Rowley.
Wow, that's a struggle, wasn't it?
Beautiful, yes.
Jump to it, girls.
Yes.
Better buy those top-taste lamings and logs tomorrow.
You can buy, girls, you can have a very long of your own.
Pop along to your supermarket or food store and buy a whole bunch of them.
Pop along to your supermarket or food store or milk bar and you have a bit of a lambington log.
Don't go away.
Oh, it's Miffy.
She keeps spraying her hair with Cetal and since there was a time when Miffy's hair was like so much steel wool,
but she went on to Cetal and now it's like Jex.
Miffy Marsh was another who got onto the live commercial merry-go-round.
Sorry, Miff, I'll just reverse you a little bit.
That's better.
How'd you like some Australian cheese, Grace?
Yes, I'd love some.
Would you?
Yeah.
Whole half pound of it, right?
Who could forget Bert Newson's impression of the Colonel?
Now, in this big dinner box you get for yourself three, I say three pieces of chicken.
You get gravy, you get a roll, which is not bad value.
When the commercials first came on, when a client came to the show for the first time
and bought the commercial and gave us a script and we rehearsed that script in the afternoon at commercial rehearsal,
which as I recall eventually became 3.30 in the afternoon in the early days, it was seven o'clock at night, I think,
and each commercial, each minute commercial or 30 second commercial was given just that in rehearsal time
and we'd just read the script and the new client would say,
that's wonderful, that's how it's written and look forward to going home and watching the commercial.
Well, when he saw the commercial eventually live on the show in almost every case,
it bore no resemblance whatsoever to what it's in rehearsed.
Now all you have to do is pour on some Shell Guard dog shampoo.
Pum, Pum, Pum, one's hanging out.
I'm sorry, would you put some water on him?
Some water?
Yes.
Not on me, Brian.
I'm sorry.
Now, you can use plenty of it.
Don't be frightened.
Dogs love it.
Yes.
Oh, that's a boy.
Oh, look at that.
Lovely, Karl.
Come on, Karl, you dog.
More.
There.
Sit.
Oh, pardon me.
Sit.
Lovely, oh.
Close your eyes.
Dogs don't mind a bit.
And it doesn't affect you at all.
I, er...
I, uh...
I threw that bucket!
Where's the, uh...
Where's the bitch?
And would you believe this client actually came back for more?
Shell Guard Dog Shampoo
is specially designed for dogs.
Look, it's not just any old shampoo shoved into a bottle with dog written on it.
No, sir.
May I tell you, it contains glycerin, which acts as a moisturiser,
and it cleans his skin as well as his coat,
so when you use it on your dog, make sure you rub it in hard, won't you?
It has lots of leather.
It has lots of leather,
so that your dog's coat gets really clean and shiny.
Look what Shell Guard has done...
for Bert Newton since I shampooed him last week.
What a bad thing to do.
Look how good he looks.
His coat is shiny.
His little nose is moist.
And he finds it damn near impossible to go past a tree without...
Shut the...
That's disgraceful.
By the way...
Shut your big face!
The phone would ring very early next morning to the sales department of Nine,
and the client would cancel
because of the dreadful things said and done by Graham
and or Graham and Bert the night before.
Then around about 11 o'clock usually on that same morning,
they rang through to buy more time when they realised their product was just running out the doors.
The commercial last week didn't sell very much dog shampoo.
Oh, no, wasn't that funny last week in the bath?
It was hilarious. You must have had a ball, did you?
LAUGHTER
I'm not saying anything.
And from flogging of one kind to flogging of another,
world championship wrestling.
I want to ask you something. Was wrestling rigged?
Oh, no, no, it was a genuine sport.
And here on a Sunday morning you'd find a great group of people,
particularly continental women, forcing themselves toward the wrestling match.
Do you remember?
Mario Milano, among others, Lord Such, I think was another one.
I didn't know the girls' names, but the wrestlers were fantastic.
We're speaking to you from Festival Hall in the wildest war we've seen in 1973.
Mark Lewin dropped kicking, Bulldog Brower.
Mark Lewin and Killer Kyle Cox against Abdul Debbachur and Dick the Bulldog Brower.
What a bruising, brawling match.
I was really lucky to be Jack Little's understudy because there was a man who had been in the sport of wrestling
as a commentator since 1932.
And then he came to Australia in 1952 and started wrestling commentary
at the West Melbourne Stadium in those days.
And then came the big time of the world championship wrestling,
which is the biggest era Australia's ever had on wrestling.
Here's the man that absolutely had the strength of ten men in that ring
and went berserk, Dick the Bulldog Brower.
You bum, you, you sucker me in that ring.
When I wasn't watching you, Cox, and you picked me up, and you hurt my neck, Cox, you hurt my neck,
I'm going to beat you, I'm going to crush you, you can't hurt me, Cox, you can't hurt me, Cox.
It was fantastic money, very, very good money.
As a matter of fact, if you don't mind, I tell you, my wages when I came to Australia,
that was a guarantee, everything pay, and I was owning $800 a week guarantee.
When I got the title, I got the 800 plus percentage for the title and everything pay,
and the average wages those years, they were $35, $50 a week.
Right now it's killer Carl Cox in there against Milano Mario with a side headlock.
Well, Mario Milano these days, part time resident, and I enjoy it, and I will always.
That is my life.
I can still hear him sitting beside him in Studio One.
It wasn't those days for the recording of the bouts.
Oh, it's coming very close there.
It'll be a submission hold, and he goes, wham, bam, thinker man, that's all there is, there isn't anymore.
How about that? We'll be back after these few important missions. Don't go away.
Where are you? I don't know where.
She's 20 years old.
20 times, and he raised his head, down, down.
He's going up to look at the stage.
I'm sorry, every man, woman, child.
She was an undercover agent, prostitute, stripper.
Mining up afterwards for six.
Act as a disgrace. Now she's back to fight corruption.
I've proven that I've told the truth all along.
Also, George Clooney. Liz Hayes discovers the love of his life. 60 Minutes Sunday.
And what can I get you, son?
What have you got?
Hostas Extra.
How does a $3.25 breakfast at McDonald's sound?
You get a bacon and egg McMuffin.
With a hash brown and a coffee.
At $3.25 a McDonald's breakfast has never sounded better.
Plan to build wealth not through good luck, but through good management?
Then ask one of Australia's most sought after investment managers.
Ask Macquarie.
By selling a candle, we made $2, which went to help fund the Amnesty International Network,
which enabled us to gather information about human rights abuses,
which resulted in worldwide publicity campaigns and public pressure,
which led to innocent people being released.
Everything you do has a knock-on effect.
Help set someone free this Candle Day.
The legend continues. Featuring the hit single, Something About the Way You Look Tonight.
Elton John, his brand new album, The Big Picture, in store now.
Welcome to L.A., a city seduced by fame and fortune.
Kim Basinger, Kevin Spacey, Danny DeVito, Russell Crowe and Guy Pearce star in L.A. Confidential.
To celebrate the release of L.A. Confidential, we're giving away a return trip for two to L.A., the city of angels itself.
Call this number now for your chance to win.
Plus, there are hundreds of double passes to be won to see L.A. Confidential.
Elming soon to cinemas everywhere.
There's a man with plenty of aspiration and a great deal of talent.
The man who's going to go a long way in this business, Mr. Peter Smith. Hello, Peter.
Hi, Terry. How are you?
Oh, that was very cruel, Bruce. You can sand me up, but not Pete Smith.
Pete's a very good friend of mine and very touchy.
He's a good friend of mine, but he was always in the Booth House.
Putting the kids through private education, stuck in the Booth, people were doing comedy sketches and I was left out.
I was sick of it and I wanted to do something about it, so I did. Yeah.
I feel pretty. Oh, so pretty. Oh, so pretty. Oh, so pretty.
And I, I'm so pretty.
You, you're pretty.
We only got our scripts on the day and it was a little nerve-racking because you realized that you were going to perform in front of thousands of people.
It wasn't like the theater where you had a rehearsal and you ran a certain time.
It was every night, three or four different sketches.
So, you know, it used to be a little problem, but we were all keen and we helped each other.
You are poor and hard up and I'm not viable.
Not that hard up.
Graham was such an extraordinary man with his ad-libs.
The most brilliant, brilliant extemporizer I have ever worked with in my life.
Absolutely fabulous. And you're prepared for anything.
And this is what we used to say to Rod Kinnear or whoever was directing at the time.
Look, at this point, Rod, if you keep the camera in vaguely this area, one or two or three things will happen.
She was your first love. Yes, up to then I'd been the hunchback with Notre Dame.
And Phil, one of the pioneers of television sketch comedy, Joff Ellen, Joffer Boy.
A chappy who's ever so happy and glad that his dad was a lad.
Well, as you know, comedy is the basis of all variety shows.
They did a comic, then they built a show around him.
But this being a variety show, we would start about two o'clock.
We'd all get there at two o'clock, but then we'd be rehearsing the ballet, rehearsing the music, rehearsing the lot.
And the comics used to get shoved over in the corner and we'd mutter to one another.
And just we'd do three or four sketches and it was terribly hard.
So we'd try and learn them all for the one night.
And we'd done the best we could.
We'd made lots of mistakes, as they can remember.
The audience can remember how the scene used to fall over a few times.
And say things weren't going so good, we'd push it over.
Do anything at all, get laughs those days.
And back and have a look at the shot.
Oh, give me a hug with a buffalo dog.
Oh dear, what are you doing to my home?
Listen, fix the door.
Oh, fix the door.
That's what I've got to do.
Sorry, love, I just got to go and pass.
And now over to the Wilsons.
What do you think, Graham?
He said, oh God, I don't know.
He was only 24 or 25 or something.
And I said, well, I think we'd have to be 75 at least.
He said, I reckon you're right.
Well, when I see it now, I realize that I think we were a little older than that.
I think we were around the 90s at the time.
Because I'm 76 now.
And I don't talk like Joyce or anything.
George? George?
Breakfast's here.
Very funny, Joyce.
Oh, well, I tell you what, Joyce, they can't say I don't try.
I think you'll have to get some paraffin oil, Joyce.
Then I can fix that squeaky hinge as well.
Kill two birds with one stone.
Oh, sit on the shopping list.
Now sit there and have your Prima Colet stone.
Have me what?
Prima Colet stone.
Prima Colet stone?
What are you talking about, Joyce?
That's spaghetti, isn't it?
It's Italian for breakfast, George.
I bet it in the paper.
Prima Colet stone.
And I cooked that lovely spaghetti in honor of that Italian president that's come into visit us.
Is the Italian president coming to visit us?
I'd better put on my coat, then.
Spaghetti, eh?
Oh, the Wilsons.
You know, I used to be in the Wilsons.
I played a character called Father Malley.
I used to come visit.
Do you remember me?
No.
No, I can't remember that.
Obviously, you made an impact.
We're going to meet a man now whose face we didn't see, but we saw part of his body every week on Channel 9.
Oh, yeah, talking about Ernie Carroll, who goes back to the very early days of Channel 9.
Thanks for blowing the surprise.
I was working in radio for quite a few years in the country radio. I didn't make it to the city.
And I was a freelance cartoonist at the same time.
And I managed to talk to Norman Spencer into believing that this ability in radio for the sound and the visual with the cartooning was a wonderful combination.
And he agreed and gave me a job.
You know, I guess the Santa's worked up all of us. What is my Santa Cotter?
Oh, what's the Santa Cotter?
Well, the Santa Cotter is a new invention of mine. I've just finished inventing it.
I decided to go in and do another character. There's a slight difference in the character.
So we called him Professor Ratbaggy.
But he was just a mad professor who came up with odd inventions and generally bumbled around the place, bumping into things.
Good on earth, Professor. What's that?
Well, that's the Santa Cotter of course.
You sit in there, it holds four people, and there it is, the Santa Cotter.
Graham asked me to write some comedy for him.
So that was a great thrill and I did that. And that's how I got into IMT.
Our day was to come in in the morning and go through the newspapers.
The time when David's statue came to Mars, we got a week out of that.
I think my favourite one is this one. I really do. Very clever one.
And also, they come in, you know, various shapes and sizes.
Poor old David. What a lot of fuss about something that's been hanging around for 500 years.
I found Graham Kennedy to be a very generous performer.
We had the opportunity to work with him with Ozzy and we did some five minute bits in IMT over a period of time and they were a lot of fun.
I was, of course.
I care.
You don't care at all.
Oh Ozzy, you know I care. What makes you think I don't care?
Well, I sent you that letter, that letter over there. I sent it to you and I said, dear Graham, I feel depressed.
Best because you get this.
And by the time you get this, I will have shut myself.
Oh, is that an O?
I think it was my best experience in television and I often look back on it and wonder where all those wonderful days went.
Monday, the story of America's last great crime family.
I will be driven from my home by a train.
And they struggle to get out.
Come with me now and leave this behind.
I don't ever trust them.
Monday, The Last Dawn on 9.
And what can I get you, son?
What do you got?
Poster's Extra.
Marvelous.
My Best Friend's Wedding.
Superstar, super cool, super cool, Shannon back.
A new album, The Velvet Roll, out now.
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So which one has a 4-star energy rating?
And a AAA water rating?
Hoover.
And which one's made right here in Australia?
Hoover.
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all you have to do is ask.
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Two days for the event of the year.
The Last Dawn.
Well, every show had the wheel.
But sadly we don't have time to spin the wheel, Bruce.
If we did have time, you could have won a Dick Wicks back support.
Or a hair styling from Mr. Emilio of Barkley Streets and Kildare.
A magnificent meal at Barb and Oz's where the flames lick up Barb's rump every Friday night.
We have to go, Bruce. Until next time, we look forward to seeing you for our third special, folks.
What about this next time? What's that all mean?
Well, I'll tell you in a moment.
Good night, folks.
Good night, everyone.
Ian Johnson's had me in front of us and he'd like a series of Philip Brady one-ass.
Oh, well, if that's...
You're doing it alone.
No, but you can come in and do some...
No, I wouldn't.
8.30 tomorrow night, a special television event, Children of the Dust, starring Farrah Fawcett, Sydney Poitier and Michael Moriarty.
We'll be right back.
This program was brought to you by the Women's Weekly.
Sunday, the life and death stories of the animal ER.
The Daisy's been hit by a car.
And now for an upbeat defense by The Vikings and The Unsung Heroes serving them on our World Special Sunday.