♪ Demons come from every side ♪
♪ In the darkness is the light ♪
♪ Out of the shadows of my life ♪
♪ In the darkness is the light ♪
♪ Surrender will win the fight ♪
♪ This girl's walked on fire and ice ♪
♪ But I come out On the other side of ♪
♪ Paradise ♪
[Molly] Since you guys are only in town one night,
I thought we'd pull out all the stops and go someplace fancy.
You didn't have to do that, Molly.
Well, it gives me a great excuse to get Fi's old crib out
and remember when I had babies of my own.
And a good excuse to check out this new club.
Some friends of mine are playing tonight. Should be good.
Now, you sure you guys are ready for this?
I mean, they can be a handful, especially Dylan.
Uh, believe me, Mrs. J.,
after being a big brother to Fi all these years,
I can handle pretty much anything.
But just to be on the safe side,
we put together a short list of instructions.
There's a menu of approved foods,
suggested feeding and sleep schedules,
as well as a complete rundown on all their clothing, equipment, toys, books.
[Annie] There must be something in an adult's brain
that kind of short-circuits when they become a parent.
Suddenly, they start worrying about everything.
One thing most parents don't worry about, though, is changelings.
Stories of changelings have been told for centuries.
Fairies, goblins, monsters, whatever name they went by,
would admire a human's beautiful, peaceful baby
and swap it for one of their own.
Like I said, it's not something most parents worry about,
but then again, maybe they should.
[screaming]
You think you could get him to quiet down a little?
I just got his sister to sleep in here.
Crying is one of Dylan's few forms of expression, Jack,
And to ask him to stop would be to deny his own true feelings.
He can't express them in some other way?
I've got a huge chemistry test I have to study for, man.
OK, pacifier?
Inserted.
Nightlight?
Illuminated.
And baby monitor?
All systems go.
Our work is done here.
Yeah, no doubt about it, this definitely rocks.
The pizza?
Babysitting.
The pizza is just one of the many fringe benefits,
But think about it.
in what other field of employment can you hang out,
watch your favorite sporting events, enjoy semi-nutritious foodstuffs,
while at the same time
helping to protect and nurture our country's precious youth?
Right. Never thought of it quite like that.
Yeah, well, you know me, just always looking at the big picture.
Oh, baby, go, go, go!
[crying]
[growling from the baby monitor]
[growling continues]
Check it out.
The little dude makes the same noises in his sleep as Jack.
I heard that.
[snarling from the baby monitor]
I don't think I've ever heard Jack make that noise.
Yeah.
OK, let's see about this.
OK, it says here that if Dylan wakes up during the night,
to make him some of that baby cereal, and it puts him right back to sleep.
OK, you go get him. I'll go make the cereal, OK?
Rookies.
That's it. Just let it all out.
Let your emotions out.
Aw, dude, you are so strong!
You keep this up, you're going to be a pro wrestler.
Need a hand, Clu?
No, it's no problem. Oh. Oh.
OK, put him in his high chair. This is just about ready.
Chow time, big guy.
Ooh, ooh, hey.
Hey, hey, hey!
Well, go get him, Clu!
Hey, come back here.
Whoa.
Hey!
[growling]
[crashing]
Sorry. Runaway baby.
Runaway baby?
[growling]
Yeah.
[growling]
[glass breaking]
[baby crying]
Great. Now you've woken her up.
Shh.
-[baby crying] -[softly] It's OK. It's OK. [shushing]
That's a girl. It's OK. [shushing]
Where is he?
I don't know.
[clanging]
[Clu] Oh!
[thud]
[Clu yelling]
Oh, oh, oh, oh...
Are you OK?
Yeah, yeah, it seems like it.
[Clu groans]
That was some ride.
Oh.
[Clu] OK, ready?
One, two, three!
Oh. [grunts]
That is one strange baby.
Could you guys keep it down, please?
Sorry, dudes.
Have you seen Dylan?
No. Haven't you?
[growling]
The kitchen.
Shh.
He's eating all of our food.
[Clu] Gotcha!
Have you ever seen a baby move like that?
I've never seen anybody move like that.
[shushing]
Come on, Dylan. Come down from there.
[Clu] He scarfed my T-bone?
Whoa.
I'm not kidding, Dylan. Come down from there now.
Hold up a sec. I got an idea.
[humming Brahms' "Lullaby"]
[baby cooing]
Come on, baby. Come and get it.
I got a delicious piece of pizza for you. Pepperoni.
[Annie] I don't think that's on his list of approved foods.
All it takes is a nibble.
Come on.
Uh! Ouch! Yeah, oh, yeah, gotcha! Woah!
[Annie] Clu?
Clu!
[Clu groaning]
What happened to him?
You know how sometimes your face gets all scrunched up when you sleep kinda funny?
[burp]
Though I could be mistaken about that.
[growling]
Oh!
OK, this is getting serious. I'm going to go call Dylan's parents.
But what about him?
Just keep a good eye on him.
OK.
Darn.
-Jack. -Not now, dude.
-But Dylan, he... -[softly] There you go.
-He's a... -Can we talk after she's asleep?
Sure. No problem.
[snarling]
So you're sure you don't want some milk with that?
OK, I've tried every phone in the house, and they're all dead.
He must have busted the lines when he pulled this one out.
Well, what did Jack say?
He was busy with Elizabeth. I couldn't tell him yet.
Well, we've got to do something. Look.
OK, I got it. He's hungry, right?
I'll see if I can take him back upstairs
while you go get that baby cereal you made.
Baby cereal?
Yeah, remember? The instructions said it usually puts him right back to sleep.
Something tells me we're way past "usually," Clu.
OK. OK.
[soft growling]
OK, got it.
[Clu] There, you see?
He wants it.
He wants everything, Clu.
[growling]
His parents should really know about this.
I think i'm going to go use the neighbor's phone.
Uh, good idea.
[burp]
[grunts]
Come on, window. Open!
[Clu grunting]
What are you doing?
Uh, just trying to open the window.
What have you and Annie been doing out here?
Uh, taking care of Dylan?
Mom and her friends are going to freak
if they come back here and find the place like this.
-They should see the upstairs. -[crashing]
So what was it you wanted to tell me?
Oh. OK, Dylan, he, like...
Well, it's hard to explain, but, um,
at first, he was, like...
I mean, like...
It's like...
Maybe I should just show you.
Wow. Clu at a loss for words.
Now i've seen everything.
Not quite.
[Annie] Changeling.
An ugly, ravenous monster secretly exchanged?
[shushing] You'll wake him up.
OK. So what's this big deal you brought me up here to see?
OK...
No big deal.
Everything's totally under control.
[Clu] It is?
Trust me. [growling]
-Uh-oh. -Uh-oh.
You two'd better let me handle this.
-Um, but... -[Jack] Please...
It's time a professional took over.
You two can go clean up that mess you left downstairs.
-[softly] Go. -[Clu stammering]
All right, big guy.
It's OK. It's OK.
Uncle Jack's here now. Go back to sleep.
[shushing]
[humming Brahms' "Lullaby"]
OK, maybe you're a little old for that one. Um...
I know.
I'll sing you a song my dad used to sing me.
Oh, man, it's been a while since I heard that, but...
♪ Close your eyes And I'll show you how to fly ♪
♪ Catch a cloud and take it for a ride ♪
♪ In your dreams you can be anyone ♪
♪ You ever want to be ♪
♪ Close your eyes, dream with me ♪
A changeling?
Yes. An ugly, ravenous monster with superhuman strength
secretly exchanged for a human child.
-I got it off Fi's website. -[Jack singing]
OK, what do we do?
If we can make the changeling laugh, its real parents have no choice
but to take him back and leave Dylan in his place.
Well, how do we make it laugh?
I don't know. I didn't get that far.
[Jack] ♪ In your dreams You can be anyone ♪
♪ You ever want to be ♪
♪ Close your eyes ♪
♪ Dream with me ♪
♪ You can be an actor Or be invisible ♪
♪ Be a star in the hall of fame ♪
♪ Build a house up in a tree ♪
♪ Be a whale, swim in the sea ♪
♪ Be a dog, chase a cat ♪
♪ No one will say you can't do that ♪
♪ In your dreams you can be anyone ♪
♪ You ever want to be ♪
♪ Close your eyes, dream with me ♪
♪ Close your eyes and dream with me ♪
Sweet dreams, big guy.
We've got to try and tell Jack what's going on.
As if he'd believe us.
Let's face it, practically everyone besides Fi would just think we're crazy.
Yeah, not to mention bad babysitters.
[Annie] So...
How'd it go?
Fast asleep.
You sang to him.
Yeah. Why?
I don't know, it's just that...
You haven't really sang anything since your dad...
You know...
Yeah.
Well, I guess it's time.
It's cool, man.
Jack, Dylan's a monster,
-A grotesque, otherworldly monster. -Yup.
That is so cold.
No, man, really.
[growling and burping over the baby monitor]
[burp and breaking wind]
Did you hear that?
Hear what?
[burping and breaking wind]
[burping]
[breaking wind]
Oh. Oh, dude.
-Hey, don't look at me. -[breaking wind]
[breaking wind]
Ooh.
Sounds like your responsibility needs a diaper change.
[Clu] Lock and load. We're going in.
[both groaning]
Is that a turkey bone?
[groaning over the baby monitor]
[Annie] Oh, gross.
OK, OK, come on. He's in a good mood.
Now's our chance to make him laugh and get Dylan back.
You're the one who claimed to be funny.
Oh, OK, yeah. I mean, I did pick up a few jokes back in school.
Ahem. OK.
So, um, why do you have to be careful when it rains cats and dogs?
Because you might step in a poodle.
Um... Oh!
What do you get when you cross a centipede and a parrot?
Clu?
A walkie-talkie.
[blowing raspberry]
I don't think those are his kind of jokes.
[scoffs] Kid has no sense of humor.
Fi's webpage says that the traditional way to make a changeling laugh
is to cook stew in an eggshell.
Wait. Cook stew in an eggshell?
Who comes up with this stuff?
[growling]
At this point, I'll try anything.
OK.
Get ready to laugh. Here goes.
Stew in an eggshell.
[Annie and Clu groaning]
-Sorry. -Clu!
Well, that worked really well.
-[thud] -[Clu groans]
I think he laughed. Do it again. Do it. Do it.
-[Clu yells] -[thud]
OK, guys, let me see how I can best put this.
Oh, I know.
Quiet!
Jack, thank goodness you're here.
I have some serious trigonometry questions to ask you about. OK? Yeah.
What are you...
Yeah.
Oh! Oh!
Yeah! Oh!
[pretend laugh]
[groaning]
Huh, what's up, man?
[clang]
OK, so what you're saying
is the sine of a triangle is equal to pi times hypotenuse.
-Right? -[car approaching]
They're home.
[growling]
Hey,Jack, how'd it go?
Uh... Well, Elizabeth slept almost the whole night.
Good job. And Dylan?
Well...
[Mrs. J.] Was he a little troublemaker?
We'd better go have a talk with him.
[sighs] Oh, man...
-Our goose is cooked. -We're done for.
What happened to the living room?
Uh, they're upstairs.
What're you looking at?
What do you... you think this is funny?
[raspy cooing]
-Clu... -[Clu] No! I mean,
do you realize what's gonna happen when they...
I mean, there's just no way to explain...
[laughing]
Will you be quiet?
Clu! He's laughing. That's what we need to get Dylan back.
Seriously, I hope Dylan wasn't too much trouble.
Oh, no trouble at all.
[laughing]
[wind howling]
Hey, how's it going?
Great...
Though I understand that this little one has been a bit of a monster.
-[baby cooing] -[sigh of relief]
Well, kids will be kids.
Yeah.
Sometimes.
♪ Close your eyes and I'll show you how to fly ♪
♪ Catch a cloud and take it for a ride ♪
♪ In your dreams you can be anyone ♪
♪ You ever want to be ♪
♪ Close your eyes dream with me ♪
♪ Close your eyes and dream with me ♪