[theme song plays]
♪ Demons come from every side ♪
♪ In the darkness is the light ♪
♪ Out of the shadows of my life ♪
♪ In the darkness is the light ♪
♪ Surrender will win the fight ♪
♪ This girl's walked on fire and ice ♪
♪ But I come out ♪
♪ On the other side of paradise ♪
♪ Paradise ♪
[Fi] Most people think time is a one-way street,
a straight shot from beginning to end with no do-overs.
As for me, I think the eastern concept of time sounds pretty awesome:
the past, present, and future all exist simultaneously.
Like all the pieces of your life
are playing at the same time, all the time.
Think how cool it would be if traveling back in time
to, say, your sixth birthday party, were as easy as
sneaking from one movie at the multiplex to another.
Not that I've ever done that, of course.
The only problem is, if you're always off watching other movies,
you might miss the movie playing right now.
Good stuff. OK, let's go, let's go. Thank you.
Let's go. Good stuff.
OK, sweetie, we're going this way, come on.
Oh, excuse me, sir. Here.
-Oh, thanks. -Sure.
OK, we've got the his and hers fondue pots for Ned and Irene.
Nothing says Christmas like a big bucket of melted cheese.
Carey, Clu, Mom, Candy, and Mike. I think we've got everybody.
Wait, wait, wait, Jack. Where's my bag with my new Christmas CD?
Wait, wait, wait... we've got to go back,
-I think I left it somewhere. -Wait a second. Fiona, calm down.
We can always make do with your other elevendy-bajillion Christmas CDs.
I have to buy a new one every year, Jack, or it's not really Christmas.
Oh, really? I didn't realize we were all depending on you.
I just want my Christmas Eve to be perfect.
Is that too much to ask?
Where could it be? We came here after the bookstore...
We're going to be late meeting Mom.
The bench by the play area. Jack, come on.
Fiona...
There you are.
We've still got to drive home and wrap the presents.
Jack, it's two hours from Grand Junction to Hope Springs.
Ned'll get us there in time.
We can trim the tree, make some cocoa, hang the mistletoe...
Don't say it, Fiona. I'm not dancing with you.
It's Christmas Eve. We all got to dance.
-Why? -It's the tradition.
Right.
Yes, it's still there.
Great. Now let's get going.
OK, guys, should we get started?
♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas... ♪
Tonight?
Irene got the call while we were waiting for you guys.
[Irene] It's a benefit concert for the homeless in Red Rocks.
Their headliner got the flu and had to drop out.
Look, forget it. They can find somebody else.
-We'll just head home. -No, wait, Mom.
What do Carey and Clu think about it?
Clu couldn't get a flight out till tomorrow anyway, and Carey...
He's OK either way. He'll meet us up there.
Listen, come on.
I'm really sorry, you guys. I should've just said no right away.
I promised you that we'd have Christmas Eve at home,
and that's exactly what we're going to do.
Mom, I want you to play the gig and help those people.
-Are you sure? -Sure, we're sure.
-Yes. -I love you guys.
We'll be happy, I promise.
-OK. -OK.
Looks like it's a go.
Oh, sound check's in two hours. OK, is everybody done shopping?
I need to finish up a couple of things. Can I have another half an hour?
Yeah, of course you can. Just meet me back here.
OK.
-Uh, Fiona? -Yeah?
I don't know.
It seems like I...
There's something I'm supposed to remember...
It seems like something Carey told me about a long time ago...
No, forget it. I'll think of it later.
Ho, ho, ho.
[man] Can I help you?
Uh...
My name's Nick... and if I were to guess,
I would say that you need a cocoa sleigh ride.
-A cocoa sleigh ride? -Mm-hmm.
You see, you start with hot chocolate, and then a big swirl of whipped cream,
some red and green sprinkles,
and then a big cherry, big as Rudolph's nose.
It's guaranteed to lift your spirits.
Yeah, what makes you think my spirits need lifting?
Well, lots of folks have a tough time with the holidays.
Well, that's not how it's supposed to be.
It's supposed to be about hanging your stockings,
sleeping in your own bed, dancing to Christmas music.
Now this Christmas Eve is just going to be like every other night,
go to the gig, and fall asleep on the bus.
I don't know. Maybe this Christmas Eve will be special in its own way.
Oh, no, please. It's on me.
Where I come from, everybody gets a present on Christmas Eve.
Yeah?
The present I really want is the one I can't have,
a perfect Christmas Eve at home with my family.
[people chattering]
Jack?
-What's happening? -What do you mean?
This is Carey and Clu's house.
Yeah, unless they moved and didn't tell us.
I was just...
You look younger...
I outgrew this dress...
How old am I?
-You're 12, honey. -No, Ned. I'm 14!
Oh, good. Then I'm 16.
Can I borrow your car, Ned?
This is all wrong.
Clu busted that microwave last year when he was trying to dry his sneakers.
And Carey stopped eating that tuna fish last year
when he found out it wasn't dolphin-safe, remember?
It's not?
This is impossible. I can't be here!
I'm already two years in the future!
You know, Fi, it could just be me,
but I definitely think you're getting weirder as you get older.
Wait. Maybe I just fell asleep!
Yes, this is all a dream. I just need to wake up.
Wake up. Wake up.
I'm guessing tainted milk.
Wait. I was at the soda fountain when Nick...
He... he did this!
Hey, Nick! Can you hear me?
Buddy, old pal, can I come back now, please?
-I'm phoning Molly. -No, Ned.
I need you to drive me to Grand Junction.
-That's where Nick is. -Grand Junction?
-Yeah. -OK, Fi.
Does this "Nick" speak to you?
Fine, Jack. If you don't believe me, I'll just take the bus!
Oh, great, I'll never find a bus stop in this weather.
-Ned, where's your truck? -I don't have a truck.
Yes, you do! Or you will.
I got one car, and Irene's driving it.
-[telephone ringing] -Oh.
-Hello? -Hey, hi, Bob!
Did they call you? Oh, no.
Hang on, Bob.
-Do you have your keys? -Of course.
-Inside. -Oh.
Yeah. What? Hold on. I thought--
Ned, I'm going to go check the back door.
OK.
Aw, come on, Bob, I was really counting on this.
I understand. Yeah.
Yeah, Merry Christmas, Bob. Sure.
Merry Christmas.
Ned, I need your help.
What's the matter?
I was supposed to go back out on the KISS reunion tour.
It's been postponed till summer, so they can make an album.
-What am I going to do now? -Don't worry about it.
Mom's going to quit her job at the ad agency next month.
And she's going to go back on tour next summer
and she'll hire you as a head roadie.
What? She told you that?
No. She hasn't decided to quit yet, but just trust me, OK?
Now, Ned, I need your help so I can get back to the--
Present.
Fiona, honey, you know we don't open presents until tomorrow.
Oh, no...
Not again.
-[Carey] Clu, get back here. -[Fi] Hey, Mom.
Come on, Clu, you'll be famous.
You'll get your picture in the school paper!
I don't want to be Cludolph the Red-Nose Doofus.
-Mom? -Who put a speedway in here?
-Mom? -[Molly] Just a minute, honey.
You're such a baby! Chicks dig antlers!
Don't, Carey!
Uh...
[laughing]
-[Fi] Mom? -I've been egg-nogged!
-Mom? -Oh, Clu. I'm really sorry.
Come on, you can borrow some of Jack's clothes.
We'll throw those in the washer. Come on.
-Mom, I've got to talk to you! -OK, baby, I'll be right back.
Can I have the area code for Grand Junction?
Hey, since when are you allowed to call long distance?
[Fi] Thanks.
Besides, who do you know in Grand Junction?
There's this guy, Nick, who works there, I've got to talk to.
Hi. Can you give me the number for the Grand Junction Mall?
What do you mean there's no number? There's no such mall?
Oh, great! I've gone back so far that it hasn't been built yet.
I'll never get back now. I'll never find Nick.
Hey, Fi, I know it's hard getting dumped and all,
but don't worry about it.
It's best to know upfront if this Nick dude's not real boyfriend material.
Listen, Carey, you've got to tell Jack
that when we go to the mall five years from now,
and I want to go off on my own, don't let me go!
Five years from now? Maybe I should write myself a note.
A note! Great idea! I'll write myself a note!
Help me find a pen and a paper.
Anyway, Fi, I know how you're feeling.
I've been bummed ever since Amy dumped me.
I even wrote her a song. Check it out.
♪ Oh, Amy how you slay me ♪
[Fi] Carey, will you forget about Amy?
About a month from now, you'll meet this girl named Skyla and she'll...
-Wait. No. She'll dump you, too. -Huh?
Then there's a redhead with the squirrely laugh, and she...
No, actually, she's going to leave you for that jock with braces.
What are you talking about, Fi?
There's nothing but girls in your future,
so could you please just let me finish this note?
Sure, Fi. Whatever.
"Dear Fi, I'm the 14-year-old you. I'm going backwards in time.
When you're 14, don't talk to any guy named Nick at the mall.
I'm not kidding."
It'll be OK now.
Nine-year-old me will see this note, none of this will have happened,
and everything will be the way it was.
OK, let's see what we've got...
No, not again! It didn't work!
-What didn't work? -I'm seven now. No, six.
Six, right?
This is the year I did my Christmas dance in the snow, even though I had the flu.
-Your fever's not that high... -Mom, I'm telling you, I've been here.
You're going to get me the red bike
with the sparkly things sticking out of the handlebars.
Fiona, I told you to stay out of my closet.
Besides, Santa just brought that by early, and asked me to hang on to it for you.
Mom, please, I don't have time to get into the whole Santa thing.
-You've got to help me. -Help you?
-Honey... honey, you're going to be OK. -I'm not talking about the flu.
I'm getting younger all the time and I don't know how to stop it!
[chuckles] Well, breathe on me. I could use a case of that.
I'm not kidding! If this keeps up, the next thing you'll feel
is someone poking inside your stomach, yelling, "Let me out of here!"
Oh, we need a new thermometer.
["Deck the Halls" playing]
[door opens]
Jack?
[yells]
Shh! Keep it down. Mom thinks I'm asleep.
How come you're up?
I thought you were a big ol' pukey snotball.
-Didn't Carey give you the message? -What message?
Right, that's three years from now. And the note!
Something must have happened to it, or maybe I just didn't believe it.
But why should I have believed it? Nobody else has.
Are you still running a fever? You're kind of making no sense.
Maybe I'm supposed to be learning some kind of lesson.
What is it, huh? How's about a hint?
Is it compared to this, the Christmas Eve I was having was perfect?
OK, message received.
Can I go back now?
Is there someone living in the attic that I haven't met yet?
There's got to be a way out of this.
Did we have a computer when I was six? I mean, now.
-Do we have a computer now? -Man, you must have a fever.
You whined for, like, three months to get Mom to buy us one.
-We do? We have one? -State of the art, 640K RAM,
ten-megabyte hard drive... No way you'll ever fill up that puppy.
Oh, brother. OK, how about an ISP?
-Are we online? -On what?
Online. Do we have net access? I've got to do some research.
I've got a library card.
[groans]
-Mom, I need your help. -Oh, honey. What are you still doing up?
Are you feeling worse?
What's the matter?
Oh... nothing.
Come on, let's get you back to bed.
No. Tell me.
Mom, if you think I'm too young to understand, believe me, I'm not.
I guess that's true.
You're a pretty amazing kid, you know that?
Then why are you crying?
Well, honey...
I miss your daddy.
I miss him, too. We always will.
But we're still going to laugh sometimes. We'll be happy, I promise.
-You do, huh? -Cross my heart.
-OK. -I love you, Mommy.
Oh, baby. I love you, too.
Come on. Cuddle.
♪ Silent night, holy night ♪
♪ All is calm ♪
Hi. Oh, hi!
Jacky, did you have fun with Daddy?
I think I just saw an old man in a sleigh streaking across the sky.
Oh... Well, I'm sure he's stopping here,
because I've been a very good girl this year.
How's my Christmas angel? How's my precious girl?
-Hi, guys. -Hey, Ned.
-Hey, Merry Christmas, Rick. -[Molly] Merry Christmas.
-Merry Christmas. -Where's Irene and the boys?
-Uh, you haven't told her? -Told me what?
-See you, Jack. -Hey, Jack, why don't you go color?
Irene's looking for a sitter. Something's come up.
What?
[Rick] That benefit for handicapped kids? Their headliner got sick.
If they don't find a replacement with a big enough name,
-they're going to have to cancel. -I see.
So, you mean, like, a big enough name, like, say, the Phillips-Kane band?
Look, we won't do it if you don't want to.
I promised you we'd spend Christmas Eve at home together, just the family.
Well, we will have Christmas Eve together just the family,
but somewhere else.
[music box playing]
Merry Christmas, baby.
Can I have this dance?
There we go.
Shall we try a rhumba? A waltz?
Nah, let's make up our own dance, a Christmas dance.
Fiona. Fi, over here. Look over here, honey. Hi.
Fi... Fi...
Fi...
Fi? Fi? Fi?
Daddy?
Oh. No, baby. You were dreaming.
Where's the soda fountain? Where's Nick?
-What soda fountain, honey? -Who's Nick?
[Molly] I knew this benefit thing was going to upset you.
Are you all right?
-Mom? -Yeah?
Did Daddy dance with me? When I was a baby?
Yeah. He did. All the time.
How'd you know that?
It's a long story, but I'm not sorry you took the benefit.
We'll all still be together on Christmas Eve, just somewhere else.
So, how long does it take to drive to Red Rocks?
About an hour, so I figured we might as well
get started with Christmas along the way.
What do you mean?
[laughs] Come on.
[door opens]
OK, here they come.
[all] Merry Christmas!
-When did you guys decorate the bus? -Well, I had help from Santa's best elves.
We do everything but slide down chimneys.
I'm going to make some popcorn for the road.
-Great. -Hey, look,
it's starting to snow, you guys. I've got dibs on the star!
[Ned] We did it, really.
[laughing] Here.
-You look very pretty, Ned. -Festive.
Hey, Mom?
This isn't at all how I expected Christmas to be.
-Are you disappointed? -Are you kidding? It's perfect.
OK, Jack, you've got to dance.
-Oh, boy. -[Fi] It's CD time, you guys.
Play.
[playing "Silent Night"]
-[man] Hey, buddy, you need a lift? -Nah, I don't have any money.
Hey, don't worry about it. The fare's on me tonight.
Where can I take you?
Well, I... I would like to see my family.
But I've been gone so long, I don't know if they'd let me in.
Well, maybe I could talk to them for you.
Why would you do that?
Because where I come from, everybody gets a present on Christmas Eve.
["Silent Night" continues]
["We Wish You A Merry Christmas" plays]