That's my eyes out.
Hello.
I don't want to give up.
I'm so good.
And now I'm starting to get cold.
The color is fading.
And in a moment I'll be in a room of a hotel in Switzerland.
A painting, sir.
And you will be telling me absolutely.
How do you know so much?
I don't know so much, but I do know you're all going to go.
I won't be long.
In fact, I'm only going so that I can come back.
Now I have to go to Alpenstrasse to meet some liar from Romania.
Nasty piece of film, Stennings.
I would like to think of Fess as seeing it.
He didn't know we had a surveillance system in operation.
What exactly was the wife's category?
She was a cipher clerk in the Polish Embassy.
They ran her as a string on Fassett.
And why did they terminate her?
We're not certain.
But it did clear up a potentially messy situation.
We were having trouble in that area, as I'm sure you'll recall.
And Fassett?
He never knew you made a trade with the KGB, sir.
He didn't know you sanctioned her killing.
He went wild trying to find her killers.
And in the process, he uncovered Omega, did he not?
He uncovered Joseph Cardone, stock manipulator with a low profile,
heavy clients, tax shelter expert.
Richard Tremaine, prestigious plastic surgeon with more than his share of patients
and a wife with a nose problem.
Bernie Osterman, midnight financier, TV writer, producer with three series on the air,
clean but very liberal.
All surprisingly enough, connected with our old friend, Mr. KGB himself,
Andrei Mikilovich.
However, I think that Fassett's premise is dangerous
because it's based on the non-benevolent ambition of one man, John Tanner.
His whole plan depends on their mutual friendship.
As you know, Tanner's your number one critic.
My advice is to turn them over to my section.
However, I might be wrong.
Being wrong, Stennings, is nearly as important as not admitting it.
Not these days.
He's excellent.
There's no denying it.
But you don't like him.
It's too much of an individual.
It takes too many shortcuts.
Well, maybe the time for shortcuts are upon us.
I think the way Fassett wants to handle Omega is a high visibility risk.
With your political prospects, well, it's an unacceptable element.
You think I'll get where I'm going without risk?
There are degrees of acceptability, sir.
Omega in itself is a, well, it's a highly sensitive matter.
If it were to become public, I think it could be disastrous.
Well, what if it became public at exactly the right time?
I don't think Fassett seriously complicates any such timing, sir.
The man, well, he's something you're not and never will be.
He's a field operative.
I don't think nostalgia is the right instinct at this time, sir.
Bring in Mr. Fassett.
Mr. Fassett.
Mr. Fassett, I must tell you I was impressed by your presentation.
Most impressed.
Thank you, sir.
Sit down.
I'd be giving away no secrets, however, if I told you that Mr. Stennings here has a less positive attitude.
Walter.
Well, you've uncovered three agents in the Omega network.
Your dad indicates they're very high level.
Probably the highest below their KGB control.
Our good friend Mr. Mikhailovich.
I think they should be picked up and turned over to debriefing.
You can't pick them up without ringing a bell.
You know, I think the best and the most efficient way of unraveling Omega is to turn one of these three.
Then you get a very powerful reaction.
Betrayal.
Even traitors feel betrayal.
And you propose to use John Tanner to affect this?
Well, I've studied him.
And they say that converts make the greater zealots.
It's certainly true with Tanner, he's more American than Americans.
He's a bigot about truth, democracy, and justice.
If we can convince him that his friends are spies, and we can convince him,
then he will feel compelled, compelled to aid us.
And with Tanner's help, then we can break these three.
Break them and Omega.
Let's take a look.
Mr. Tanner should be getting nicely warmed up by now.
Welcome back.
We're not talking about Agent Orange.
We're just talking to General Keeber.
Take two. Stand by, camera three.
General.
You have the responsibility for American German warfare research.
Take three.
I'm very surprised that you would ask me questions on a subject which you must know is restricted.
In last Friday's New York Times, you said the Japanese...
That was a statement by the Joint Chiefs of Staff.
It represents their official position on the subject.
What about those secret experiments the Japanese were trying out...
Break three. And a little closer on Keeber.
Let's see the sweat on his nose.
I can only say what I've already said on that.
You said the Japanese developed German chemical warfare systems.
You have to remember the political climate at the time.
The Soviet menace was becoming more and more apparent.
You're just a bigger head.
Well, no.
You have the responsibility for American German warfare research.
I've already said that is not a matter I can discuss here.
I don't?
I'm in the bedroom.
I want that, um...
You know that black gown you gave me?
Yeah.
What do you mean, underneath?
Oh, well, underneath.
Let me see.
Excuse me, doctor.
It's just arrived.
Can I open it?
No, thank you.
Fine.
Oh.
I got your picture back.
I think...
I think that you should hurry up and come right home...
because I'm very sick and I need my doctor.
What's the matter?
Hello?
No, no, nothing. I dropped the phone.
My poor little dick.
Jenny, I'll see you soon.
Okay, and, darling, don't forget my medicine.
Whatever actions America took at the end of the war...
it was for the welfare of the world at large.
Why in hell would they send such a fool?
He must have been the fool on duty.
Can you confirm...
there were American prisoners involved?
To the best of my knowledge, very few.
Then their wounds were infected with different kinds of bacteria...
and eventually left untreated.
One, give me a close shot.
Most of these boys were American.
Most of them died.
Well, as I say, Mr. Tanner, you had to have been there.
You're probably too young to remember.
Yes.
Are you proud of your country, sir?
You had to get your military kick, General.
Still, you're not seeing the single thing, Mr. Hoffman.
You're seeing possibility.
And that's your imperfect machine.
For these last two moments...
we will engage conditions of maximum equality.
That was a lot better, wasn't it?
Farewell, sir.
Hello.
Telephone's for you, Mr. Osterman.
There are many reasons for such actions.
What about the welfare of the American prisoners?
Well, the American government was not the one involved.
Are we still on the air?
We'll take a commercial break now.
Cue commercial.
Germ-free soap.
Next stop will be General Keever's service record.
We'll be right back.
Very good.
I'll be fascinated to see you work on them.
Yes.
Then I'll be interested to see your progress reports, Mr. Fassent.
You'll see my requisition, Mr. Fassent.
I'm over to Mr. Fassent.
Considering your proposal, I, of course, read your files.
This, uh...
This matter of your wife.
Accidents happen, sir.
In this Omega business, there will be no place for such indulgences.
It's a mistake I'm not likely to make twice, sir.
Good.
Oh, in this matter of Tanner,
I'm sure that the evidence we have will convince him intellectually,
but I think we might need something more.
Your presence.
Hi.
Thank you.
What about the welfare of the American prisoners, sir?
That is not something I can comment on.
Prisoners of war were deliberately wounded.
Yeah, it looks that way.
Then their wounds were infected with different kinds of bacteria
and intentionally left untreated.
Most of these boys were American.
Most of them died.
As I say, Mr. Tanner, you had...
Hi, Dad.
Hi, Frank.
Hi, Scout.
Where have you been?
Went hunting with Mom. Camped out last night.
Get anything?
Couldn't get a clean shot.
Yeah, they were down in this little ravine.
And they caught wind of us.
We needed your help.
Did you teach Mom to hunt?
We taught each other.
And take a bath.
Mom says you're a big trophy hunter.
What does she mean?
Come here, you.
Come here.
Sit down.
Watch TV.
There's a war being fought now, as we speak,
all over this country, all over the world.
And yes, we do have troops in it.
And yes, they're dying.
What do you think of this guy?
Sex.
Lame broil and hickory smoke.
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My credit? It was downright bad.
Most companies wouldn't even talk to me about a credit card.
No one would give me a credit card unless I already had it.
Ever tried renting a car without a credit card?
Now that's humiliating.
I'm thinking these mistakes are gonna haunt me for the rest of my life.
Pravidian was the only company willing to take a chance on me.
Such a relief to finally have a credit card.
And the fees are easy to handle.
All I did was apply over the phone and there it was.
My card with my name on it, mailed right to me.
After making a few payments, I got even more credit.
Let me tell you how great it feels to put my card down on the counter and say,
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My friends couldn't believe I got a thousand dollar credit limit.
They're all, what's that phone number?
Hey, I deserve this credit.
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When the military takes control.
Soldiers like you and me have just about all that's left to try and hold this country together.
And all our liberties are taken away.
You ordered me to betray my country.
A new revolution will begin.
I would give everything, everything for my free.
Wake up.
Let the fat lady sing, because I'm a prisoner.
In a war, I'm a soldier missing her.
In the hope of the brave, in the final hour, no power is going to keep me all right.
So keep me all right.
I think you're our best hope.
Are you?
And sometimes you gotta fight.
Yeah, fight.
For freedom.
Sometimes, sometimes you gotta fight.
Coming this fall to UPN 33.
Looking for a pre-owned vehicle?
Tired of driving from one dealership to the other?
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Tune in Friday morning at 10 and Saturday morning at 930.
Or log on to our website at UPN33.com.
Are you up for this weekend?
I guess so.
You used to think they were great.
Well, times change.
Not for the better.
No.
Jordan used to worship money and hate women.
And we used to think that Bernie Osterman could actually heal people by making them laugh.
And Dick was a doctor once upon a time.
Now he's a mechanic who repairs people.
Yes?
I have Maxwell Danforth on the line for you.
Hang on.
John Tenner, Maxwell Danforth.
To what do I owe the pleasure?
I need a favor of you, Mr. Tenner.
I'd like to hear what it is.
Well, I wonder could we meet in person, face to face as it were?
When?
Today. Transportation is being arranged even as we speak.
Your trophy buck just wrote cover.
This way, Mr. Tenner.
Fourth floor.
I have an appointment.
Mr. Danforth won't be here.
He'll be talking to me. My name's Lawrence Fassett.
Please.
Mr. Maxwell Danforth wanted to see me.
Are you expecting house guests this weekend?
Joe and Betty Cardone, Richard and Virginia Tremaine, Bernard Osterman?
The men were from your graduating class at Berkeley.
This is the seventh such reunion, events known among you as Ostermans,
in honor of their original sponsor.
Are these people represent a grave threat to the security of the United States of America?
Uh-huh.
It's my job to convince you of the truth of these allegations.
We could arrest all of the conspirators now,
but it would be more helpful to the interests of the nation
if we could have your assistance over the coming weekend.
What the hell are you talking about?
You could arrest who? For what?
If, after I presented you with the initial evidence,
you're not convinced, then of course you may go.
I'm keeping your mouth shut, of course.
All right, listen carefully.
First I want to know when the weekend is scheduled.
May 17th, at the Tanner's.
Do you have no apprehension of Tanner?
He knows nothing of our business, suspects nothing,
can have no possible danger to us.
Nevertheless, we think it would be better if he were targeted.
Now, that's absolutely unnecessary.
This is not an area in which you have a lot of choice.
This is our deal, Petrov.
Nothing happens to Tanner. Otherwise, we meet someplace else.
Your partners don't want to postpone it.
Just remember, we're calling the shots.
They'll be there if you need them.
If I ever saw a setup for doctoring tape, this is it.
Am I guess?
This sounds not good because we had them on a directional.
Then we got lucky with the conceal.
It would take me considerable time to be ready.
You know, I have patience, not clients like Cardone, Bernie.
He has no loose ends. He just picks up and goes.
These are not my concerns.
I don't want to be in the country when it comes down.
I think you will find that when the time comes,
you will be able to leave the country very quickly indeed.
Who's the man?
Andrei Mikhailovich. KGB.
Russian passport. CIA reporter Mikhailovich.
Russian technology clearance file.
You know him?
Personally, if you can call tailing somebody for three months personal.
Now this next bit with your friend Bernie, it's a real gem.
I've seen some of his shows. He's very good, isn't he?
Sure, I think the system's in need of radical change.
How radical is radical?
Extreme, violent, chaotic, apocalyptic, somewhere in there, I think.
Are you willing to help create such conditions?
Or are you just a coffee house revolutionary?
No, I'm not a revolutionary.
What I am is a nihilistic anarchist who lives on residuals.
So money would help form your decision?
Oh, yes. Yeah, it always has.
What are you asking me?
For your talents and your time, we would pay generously.
Number of bank account?
In Swiss.
Where else?
Very good.
I will bring you considerable details next time we meet.
And I promise you it is simple.
There is more, but it's of no consequence.
All right. What's the bottom line?
This is the Official Secrets Act.
If you want to go for the jackpot, then you must sign it.
But I warn you that after the signature, there is no walking away.
You sign it, and your life isn't going to be the same.
Not your man.
I'm Cloak. You must be Dagger.
Mr. Danforth, I won't betray my friends.
You don't have any friends, Tenner.
You are on intimate terms with three Russian agents.
I don't believe that.
Oh, yes, you do.
That story you were pursuing on your last program, about germ warfare.
What about it?
Why do you suppose it surfaced after being submerged for almost 40 years?
I had a reliable source to whom the Soviets conveniently leaked the story.
They knew that you or someone like you would pick it up, make a fuss,
and with luck there'd be a Congressional investigation and perhaps appropriations would be held up.
You see, the Russians don't suffer from the same restraints of our system when it comes to national security.
I know how you'd make the system work.
Tenner, you know nothing. You're guessing.
And your guesses are pathetically short of the mark.
Big Brother Max knows everything.
Suppose I was to tell you that our enemies are capable of impairing rational thought,
of dismantling our willingness to defend ourselves,
of disassociating whole societies from their value systems.
You mean they've got television as well.
We have such substances.
It's only prudent affair they do.
We believe that your friends are in control of the Soviet network
and that they have a list of agents whose task it is to release these substances on command.
I'm asking you as an American to help us to protect ourselves against them.
You want something from me.
I want something from you.
I want you on my program.
Agreed.
And if this turns out to be more CIA self-abuse, I'll have it out of you on the air. That's a promise.
I would expect that.
I think Mr. Fassett is waiting for you to sign the pigment.
Comfort yourself with the thought that you never did have a choice.
It's usually the case.
What is it you want me to do?
Just behave normally. You don't have to do anything.
We do it all.
In this world that you have entered, things are rarely as they seem.
To us, an enemy agent is potentially our agent, if we can turn him.
Why don't you just have them arrested?
We don't want to arrest your friends. We want to turn them, one or all of them.
In this, you can help us, believe me.
It shouldn't be so dramatic.
It's only two days out of your life.
From the producer of The Matrix, out of oppression, a new legend will rise.
Just a man.
And the glory will belong to the young and the brave.
Freedom coming this fall to UPM 33.
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The UPN All Night Teleplex will return in a moment on UPN 33.
Tonight on UPN, it's a night of girls, girls, girls. Girls of pleasure.
Tea and a sweet nit with me.
Girls of pain.
Go ahead, slap me. Just wail away.
It's two flowers of girls on the brain.
So if you love the ladies, then suck.
Check out back-to-back episodes of The Barbecue, followed by Grown-Ups and Malcolm and Eddie.
If her head starts to do a 360, I'm outta here.
Tonight at 8 on UPN 33.
It was a night to remember.
We're so wild.
Well, what are you gonna do?
So how can Paul forget?
I'm telling you, I have no recollection of the whole event.
Tonight at 10 on UPN 33.
A bad review.
I hate Frasier Crane.
Makes Frasier fight mad.
Come on, fight so bad, I'll give you a fight. You just made the time and place.
It's the battle of the century on the next Frasier.
Tonight at 10 30 on UPN 33.
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Tuesday at 8 on UPN 33.
Um, did you bring me something?
My inside pocket.
Thank you.
You're not gonna do it right now are you, Jenny?
Just a little bit.
I know she's old enough to be your mother.
Don't tell me about business.
Alright?
Take it.
I know how you feel.
Believe me.
Take it.
What's that?
Omega.
Who's Omega?
Mrs. Hazeltine's uncle or somebody?
Joe, what is that?
Omega.
Sorry, sorry, Gary.
What's the trouble?
Can I see your license please?
Yeah, I wasn't speeding.
I've given that up.
No, I've cut way back on speeding.
I've cut it way down.
Ah, I thought that was you.
You write for TV, don't you?
Yeah, that's me.
Yeah, I'm on my way to catch a plane now, alright?
Oh, don't worry, you'll make it.
I like your stuff, Mr. Osterman.
Only sometimes I think you tend to be a little strident, you know?
Strident?
Are you giving me a ticket for strident riding or anything?
That means the death penalty for Beverly Hills parking violations is coming back too.
Have a nice day.
Bernie, hey, what's up?
Hey, Doc.
Bro, somebody's on to us, huh?
Who the hell wouldn't be on to us?
Look where we are.
Oh, no, wait a second.
Control this place.
I mean, those guards you saw, they're mine.
Those gates are locked.
I mean, this is a natural place.
This area is alright.
Gentlemen, whoever's fingering us has got a lot of pull.
Video hookups, phony cops, the males.
He's got a whole network.
They know about Omega, and that's government, isn't it?
So if it's the government, why haven't they stuck us before this?
Why haven't they busted us?
How about your friend, the interviewer?
Don't be mad at me.
Come on.
Why?
Oh, there's a man here with a truckload of video stuff.
When did you order that?
I was really looking forward to it.
Why do we have to go away?
Oh, weeks ago.
What?
State of the art stuff.
Are you ready?
That's what you mean.
Believe me, Ali, if I could explain, I would.
Would you?
Or would you just think she doesn't need to know?
Come on, it's only two days out of a lifetime.
He's a good boy, eh?
Bless you.
What's happening?
I'm taking my wife and son out.
It's not very smart.
The objective of the exercise is to make everything seem as normal as possible.
I'm taking new chances.
We can protect them better here.
How are you going to explain the fact that they're gone?
Oh, I'll tell them we had a fight.
Wouldn't be hard to make that sound real.
Sorry, John.
Just hang in.
You'll get through it.
Yeah.
Where you putting all these cameras?
Everywhere.
The whole house will be covered.
This is Frank.
It's a boy.
Just one thing, John.
I don't want to come home to an empty house and find some kind of long, logical letter.
You understand?
If you're bailing out on me, tell me now.
I'm not.
I'll get the tickets.
Sir, we're looking for a place to stay.
You know, we're looking for some place with a bridal chain suite, you know.
I need your help.
That is my voice!
Hands up!
I'm going to count to three.
I'm going to stop this car.
I should have listened to you.
Luckily we had it bugged, but from now on we'll do it my way, okay?
You're going to be all right, Mrs. Tanner.
I'm fast at FBI.
We'll have you back home before you know it.
He's dead!
The path of spiritual enlightenment lies before you.
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I see money coming into the house by the ten of pence.
Everything's looking iry there.
There's a child, isn't there?
Yeah.
I see him.
It's a little boy?
Yeah.
Yeah, I see the little boy.
The little boy looks strong.
I don't like how he makes his money.
You understand what I'm saying to you?
Yeah.
You know what I'm talking about.
We're not going to put everything on front streets.
Who's the short man with no money in his pocket?
He's a young one.
And he's broke.
What do you want him for?
And he has a mustache, right?
Yeah.
And there's a birthmark somewhere on his face, correct?
A mole or a scar or something?
Yeah.
Yeah, that's the daddy.
Oh, yes.
Okay.
That's the daddy.
Congratulations, Mommy.
I'm glad I made you happy.
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The UPN All Night Teleflex will return in a moment on UPN 33.
From the producer of The Matrix.
Out of oppression, a new legend will rise.
He's just a man.
And the glory will belong to the young.
Wake up.
And the brave.
Today is hell.
Freedom.
Coming this fall to UPN 33.
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My credit?
It was downright bad.
Most companies wouldn't even talk to me about a credit card.
No one would give me a credit card unless I already had it.
Ever tried renting a car without a credit card?
Now that's humiliating.
I'm thinking these mistakes are going to haunt me for the rest of my life.
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Such a relief to finally have a credit card.
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That man didn't really mean to kidnap Steve and me.
The FBI thinks he couldn't afford to be questioned.
The FBI.
The magic little elves that drop right out of the sky.
How come they happen to be there so quickly?
We're tailing him.
God, I thought you were dead.
No, I'm not dead yet.
John.
Time for a face-to-face.
I can't lie too early.
Practice.
Look, I'm sending over a tape of your friends at one of their board meetings.
This kidnapping shows they know something.
That's Mikhailovich protecting his investment.
KGB.
I'm certain that your friends knew nothing.
The closer you stay to the house till this is over, the better.
No one's going to get in, I promise you.
Except your guests.
Then what?
We've been working on them.
They're getting a little unglued.
But you're going to have to split one of them off.
And you'll know which one you have the best chance of getting close to.
Now, once you've made that contact, then we're in business.
What if none of them break?
We'll think of something.
Are you enjoying this?
Let me show you something that I keep just in case I get to enjoy myself too much.
You got your wife back from those bastards.
Get your way out of me.
I don't understand.
I don't want to leave you.
I'm scared.
And now I'm starting to feel cold.
The color is fading.
I don't understand.
Hello, doctor.
Is she back around?
Yeah.
Hello.
Somebody's under us.
Oh, I'll tell you.
Come in.
They're here.
Well, come on.
Shake a leg.
It's what you've been waiting for.
Okay.
Let's see that left again.
Come on, keep it up.
Raccoon.
Hello, Christopher.
Look at you.
Getting big.
Maybe he just wants to be cut in.
I'll cut him in.
In half.
This area is all right.
Gentlemen, whoever's fingering us has got a lot of full video hookups.
Phony cops, the males.
You know about Omega?
And that's government, isn't it?
So if it's a government, why haven't they stuck us before this?
Why haven't they busted us?
How about your friend?
The interviewer.
John Tanner?
He has contacts.
He might have a motive.
He does!
Why?
He's the king of the exposés.
The self-righteous hypocrite.
His friends slip, collapse.
They're gone.
I'll grant you we're in a lot of trouble, but John Tanner's a friend of ours, right?
He's a friend of ours.
Well, so let's go to our friend John Tanner's house and set him up.
It's cocktail time!
Hi, doctor.
Howdy.
Same rooms?
Yes, same room.
Okay, then we ought to cancel the weekend.
No, I don't think we ought to cancel the weekend.
John Tanner's a friend of ours, right?
He's a friend of ours.
Well, so let's go to our friend John Tanner's house and set him up.
Set him up.
How you doing, John?
How's your back?
How are you?
Hey, Uncle Bernie, want to go for a ride?
Huh?
Want to go for a ride?
Sure, ride.
Right, yeah.
See, I talk like you.
Uh, yes, uh, water boy.
One of the great moments in the literary history.
Ah, refreshments.
Oh, look at them, right.
A treat for the folks.
I got a toast.
Here is to John Tanner kicking on TV.
All right, let's get it.
What's the name of that guy that you, uh, grilled that day?
Keeler? Keever? What's the snake?
General...
Keever.
General Keever.
Now, I want to know is why these people,
a guy like that, would sit still for that.
No way.
Bernie?
Mm-hmm?
I really like your mustache.
It's what makes me want to curl up in it.
I'd look for the answer.
Go to it, Ginny Ginny.
She's serious.
Want some vitamins, Virginia?
No.
She's serious.
What, pillows?
Oh, yeah.
That'd be good.
Yeah, baby.
You want a vitamin, Dick?
No, thank you.
I, uh...
I need some water.
I had mine this morning.
You certainly did, darling.
This weekend could be fun.
All right!
Whoo!
Oh!
Ah!
I got it!
Help me! Help me!
All right.
Go, go, go!
All right!
Bring you up.
Whoa!
Ah!
There he is.
Oh, there he is.
Whoa!
Boy, he was so wet.
Bernie!
Great.
Oh!
Great!
You know, nice, Virginia.
acknowledging, they're all
Virginia, what is it that
you're wearing on?
Oh, John, you look real, uh,
happy there.
Looks a little like
Jesse James, huh?
Is that a tie or a pantyhose?
No, this is
Argyle swimsuit lucky.
Hoppa hoppa.
You weren't wearing your beard.
It's all the same, isn't it?
Oh, isn't she cute?
I needed her.
You look great. Look at you.
You look very drunken, don't you?
Do you need some help?
No.
Look, honey.
She just loves doing that stuff, don't you?
John, time for a face-to-face.
Would anyone like more coffee?
No.
Interesting piece of film.
Could you roll that back to the beginning?
I'm going to get it.
I mean, I might wear a jar myself.
Exactly.
How much would you like?
I'm going to get a drink.
You kept your drink.
Do you want some coffee?
At UVN Wednesday, 3,000 miles away,
the unthinkable happens.
A meteor is going to hit this thing, and it's over.
A space station will crash into Earth.
In eight hours, this will come down on Washington, D.C.
unless one man can stop it in seven days, then.
Hazers.
Disparate times call for desperate measures.
We murdered these people.
Star Trek Voyager.
Wednesday at 8 on UPN 33.
Pepsi and UPN 33 invites you to welcome 26 Nile crocodiles
to their new home at the Miami Seaquarium.
Visit the largest exhibit of Nile crocodiles in the United States,
and don't miss summer night's concert series at the Miami Seaquarium.
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and receive $4 off on admission.
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Tune in Friday morning at 10 and Saturday morning at 9.30,
or log on to our website at UPN33.com.
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The UPN All Night Teleflex will return in a moment on UPN 33.
My credit? It was downright bad.
Most companies wouldn't even talk to me about a credit card.
No one would give me a credit card unless I already had one.
Ever tried renting a car without a credit card?
Now that's humiliating.
I'm thinking these mistakes are going to haunt me for the rest of my life.
Pravidian was the only company willing to take a chance on me.
Such a relief to finally have a credit card.
And the fees are easy to handle.
All I did was apply over the phone and there it was.
My card, with my name on it, mailed right to me.
After making a few payments, I got even more credit.
Let me tell you how great it feels to put my card down on the counter and say, I'll take it.
My friends couldn't believe I got a $1,000 credit limit.
They're all, what's that phone number?
Hey, I deserve this credit.
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Meet an all-American girl.
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With a wild side.
Do blondes really have more fun?
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Adults only, please.
Don't stay up all night wondering what you missed.
Call now.
When you get a chance, we must talk.
I'll meet you in the pool house.
That was Omega.
He's on.
Listen, we ought to...
Come on.
I've got a little bit more.
It's too early to start bribing friends.
Or is it?
Stay to the end, damn it.
The forecast calls for continued good weather
through the weekend with our current civic center
temperature at 68 degrees.
Can I get you guys anything?
Look, I want to know who the...
Joe?
What we'd like to know is who transferred the old movies
on the videotape.
I had to die at the studio, so he's in a lot of trouble.
Isn't that sign at the end the Omega?
Lamp guy.
Why?
Did something happen?
No, I thought they were nice.
I like my wallets that way.
The air quality index is rated for fair throughout the...
I think I just have another little bulletin come in here.
Would you excuse me?
Oh, she was great at seeing those movies again.
...and the steady and relative humidity is 20 degrees,
falling to about 10 degrees by...
Yeah.
...afternoon, by morning.
The air quality index is rated...
Yeah, let's take care of the lateness.
Good night, Jim.
Good night.
...with gusts of up to 15 miles per hour,
leveling off to a gentle 5 to 8 miles per hour
by the breeze tomorrow,
where the baromatic pressure is 30.18,
and steady with gusts of up to 15 miles per hour,
leveling off to a gentle 5 to 8 mile per hour
by the breeze tomorrow,
and the barometric pressure is 30 point...
And in the central areas, it is possible that they will be
just hanging in there.
So, why didn't we put it to him?
Because I believed him.
He didn't know anything about Omega.
Yeah, I'd believe him too, I guess.
You did?
Maybe.
Why, he's staring you right in the face.
You didn't believe that crap about the lab.
Look, instead Omega...
O-M-E-G-A, Omega...
Don't be necessary.
We rely too much on sight, don't you think?
Appearances being what they are.
What's wrong?
Oh, no, nothing, nothing at all.
You're doing very well.
Just keep it moving along.
Tomorrow night, shortly after dinner,
I'll turn the TV on.
Just watch the reactions to the program.
I think you'll find that one of your friends
might indicate a willingness to confide in you.
Okay?
Who is it?
It's all right.
Are you busy?
No.
So what are you worried about?
I'm not worried.
Well, it's not the same old light-hearted
Osterman of yesteryear, is it?
No.
Yeah?
Well, we all got problems.
So who's your next victim on the show?
Maxwell Danforth.
Oh, yeah, the big one.
Would you have to give up to get him?
Well, you know, it's amazing to me
how you invite these gentlemen on your show
and then you rip them up and spit them out, you know?
They keep coming back asking for more.
I don't know.
Why do you think people would do something like that?
It's a ball game.
No.
No, maybe they thought they were right.
I think everybody thinks they're right deep down.
Don't we all?
Oh.
You know, there's a principle I like to live by.
The truth is a lie that hasn't been found out.
Maybe you ought to bear that in mind.
These are strange times, amigo.
But I'm going to survive.
Yeah.
Unless you and me survive them together.
Yeah.
Checking in, sir.
Right here.
Got exciting, huh?
What's wrong?
I bet I could get a little...
something out of Mr. Tanner.
I'll just poke him a little.
Stroke him a little.
It's awful good cause.
You know, I don't think that'll get it.
You're afraid of him, aren't you?
But listen, honey, he is only a man.
What works for one works for another.
Talk to me, Bernie.
The truth is a lie that hasn't been found out.
Maybe you ought to bear that in mind.
The truth is a lie that hasn't been found out.
You know, I like that, Bernie.
Oh, John.
Come on!
No!
You'll kill me!
Oh, grab me!
That's throwing, Dick.
Get off my back.
Come on.
Okay.
You're all right, you.
You're all right.
Stop that sucker!
You know, Ali, you know, man, it's really quite something.
I wish I could offer you a better swap.
Maybe I could give you Dick on a three-to-one basis.
Listen, Jimmy, don't you ever get tired of playing this game.
Come on.
Hey!
What are you doing?
I love watching them get into it.
I told you I'd quit!
Look!
Come on!
Come on, you're getting on my problem!
Look out!
I'm worried about you.
Somebody break it up!
Shall we sit here or talk?
No, let's talk. Why don't you tell us who done it, John?
Who's done what?
Seems like some of the bad memories from the past are catching up to us, Howie.
Who's catching up with us?
Stop playing games.
I think that Dick is just...
What is this Dick?
Let him speak for himself, and I'm going to speak for myself.
And I'm telling you, I'm not going to put up with this anymore.
Try being more specific, Joe.
You're talking about specific? You know what the hell I'm talking about.
Why don't you try to get along a little better? I mean, after all, you are a friend.
Why don't you just shut up!
Switzerland, land of enchantment.
Beautiful lakes, towering mountains, delicious chocolate,
and the financial world's favorite gimmick, the numbered bank account.
International arms merchants, drug dealers, and United States citizens
trying to evade Uncle Sam's taxes all find a home in Zurich.
It is conservatively estimated that over $12 billion in illegal accounts
resides deep in the secret vaults of the 520 banks of this,
the most money-oriented city in the world.
But laundering money for Americans is only one of the complex transactions
conducted daily in this mountain paradise.
If you men had a pair between the bunch of you,
you'd take this bastard outside and straighten his...
Just one more word out of you, and I'll tear you apart, I'll clean up your face.
That's it, that's it, that's it.
I'll clean your ass, I'll go and pop her. Do you?
Come on, let's just go.
You okay?
No.
Bravo, John Tanner.
It's getting tricky now, isn't it?
It's a mystery. Have you written the ending yet, John?
Well, I'll tell you,
Ali shows promises of featherweight, but I think you stepped out of your weight class.
Good night, my friend.
You know something about them, don't you?
You're threatening them, manipulating them.
I ain't always so sure that you're right, sitting on your damn throne.
I know that something's wrong, dammit.
Either you tell me what it is, you tell me when I'm mixed up in,
or I'm leaving with Chris, right now.
You can't leave me now. I need you here.
What?
In the fridge.
What is it?
What's wrong?
What is it?
Joe, I'm going to kill you.
Joe, let go of him.
Leave him alone.
Why don't you tell us what happened, John?
Bastards. Sick bastards.
I want to know who did this.
It's not real, John. It's a fake.
It's not a very funny joke. That is sick.
Why are you doing this to us?
I want you out.
Try tomorrow morning.
Please.
Oh, he's fine. We'll find him. He's outside.
It's a ketchup bottle. It's something good fake.
Maybe it'll be gone in the morning.
We better be gone in the morning.
Early.
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The UPN All Night Teleplex will return in a moment on UPN 33.
Summer may be here, but pain...
...never takes a vacation.
At UPN, we're making it a smack-down summer.
Every Thursday is a brand-new show.
And every show is an event.
I am the champion!
The Rock is gonna get back and he's gonna get it tonight.
WWF Smackdown, because you must.
Thursday at 8 on UPN 33.
Cyber terrorists are getting away with murder.
We need a new breed of cop.
It's time to boot up and be brilliant.
High-tech, geosynchronous orbiter display.
Hooked up.
Locked on and tracking.
And years ahead of the CIA.
That is your shooter.
There weren't any fingerprints.
We don't need no stinkin' prints.
Great geeks with guns.
They aren't geeks, man.
You've reached. These people spook me.
Level 9.
Coming this fall to UPN 33.
Kelly.
Town is coming out.
Let him through.
Don't want him wandering around out there at night.
What are we gonna do?
Pop.
I'm getting out of here.
Got any brains? You'll do the same.
Right.
Passage waiting. Follow me.
You don't need your gun, Joe. It's out.
Don't worry about it.
She knows something.
Chris.
Here, press clean.
Come on, quit screwing around, Ollie.
Open the door.
Get away from my door, Joe Cardone.
Would you put that gun away?
Look, I'm tired of getting stepped over.
He's right.
She knows something. I'm gonna find out what.
Somebody please tell me what's going on.
Yeah, we're getting out of here now.
Come on, Joe.
Joe.
Get your bow.
All right, Fassett.
That's me, I'm finished.
I've had it, I want out.
And where might out be?
I'm fed up.
Do what you have to do.
Arrest them.
I don't care.
Just get them out of my house.
All right, Fassett.
We have a single male adult out there.
Osterman.
Terminate on contact.
We've got one dead.
Stand ahead.
Grab what's necessary.
That's all, come on.
Move it.
Why don't you get them?
There's no need.
They're going nowhere.
All this activity in for nothing.
No!
That was nice.
He's got my motor home.
The keys in there?
Yeah.
I didn't leave my keys in it.
I did.
There's no need to worry, John.
Everything is under control.
They're just on a very long leash.
What about Bernie?
He can take care of himself.
Who's pulling your strings?
You must go home now.
They're pinning Osterman down at the fire end.
And straight home now.
Remember out there, you're a single male adult too, you know.
Kelly, follow him out of this area and eliminate him.
All right, all right, all right.
See where you're going.
Just wait.
You want to finish this now, or shall we talk?
All right, all right, all right.
I can kill you like a chicken, but I'm not going to let you die so easily.
Now what is this traitor bull?
We're just salting some money away for good times.
That's all.
It ain't legal, but it sure as hell ain't traitorous.
I'm going to let you up, John, because I want you to talk to me.
But if you make a move for this bat, you'll be wearing it for a month.
Do you understand?
Good.
I'm awfully tired.
Where's my dog?
Not in there.
He's in the van.
CIA man called Facet.
He says you and Dick and Joe are working for the Russians.
I saw a film on you talking to the KGB.
I saw you make a deal with a guy called Petrov.
You remember Petrov, the independent film producer?
To help create such conditions.
Or are you just a copy house revolutionary?
No, I'm not a revolutionary.
What I am is a nihilistic anarchist who lives on residuals.
So money would help form your decision.
Don't you feel better now that you know that all your old friends are just tax evaders after all?
Or are you just a little disappointed?
You were setting us up.
Why?
We're in prime killing time.
All it took was to have my wife murdered while my employers watched on closed circuit TV.
It's just another episode in this whole snuff soap opera we're all in.
Switch it off, John.
You know better than that, Bernie.
It's your business, both of you, addicting people so they can't switch off.
Smash the set, smash it.
Switch this one off.
What's the rush, Joe?
We got a lot of things to clear up.
You know what we need right now?
A spaceship.
Come right over those trees, bite it's end.
Loves me.
Does I?
Or the Bible?
Bernie.
Get out there.
Joe, get out.
Virginia, come here.
Do you see what I see?
Bernie, get out.
They can't hear us.
Joe, get out.
Dick?
Things could be worse, right?
Right.
I see you want to send them a message.
Sweet.
Bernie, get out.
Dick?
Come here.
Come on.
Get out of the camper now.
I don't want to be in the country when it comes down.
I think you will find that when the time comes, you will be able to leave the country very quickly.
Joe.
This is our deal, Petrov.
Nothing happens to Tanner.
Just remember, we're calling the shots.
What the hell's he trying to pull?
I don't know. We'd better get out of here.
We're all going to die.
Get out.
Come on.
Bernie, get out.
Come on.
Move now.
Come on.
Bernie.
Come on.
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Best of the Class 2000 is sponsored by Taco Bell and UPN 33.
My credit, it was downright bad.
Most companies wouldn't even talk to me about a credit card.
No one would give me a credit card unless I already had it.
Ever tried renting a car without a credit card?
Now that's humiliating.
I'm thinking these mistakes are going to haunt me for the rest of my life.
Pravidian was the only company willing to take a chance on me.
Such a relief to finally have a credit card.
And the fees are easy to handle.
All I did was apply over the phone and there it was.
My card with my name on it, mailed right to me.
After making a few payments, I got even more credit.
Let me tell you how great it feels to put my card down on the counter and say, I'll take it.
My friends couldn't believe I got a $1,000 credit limit.
They're all, what's that phone number?
Hey, I deserve this credit.
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The UPN All Night Teleflex will return in a moment on UPN 33.
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And then there were two.
You crazy murderers.
All agents move in to execute termination procedure.
Repeat, execute termination procedure.
All agents.
Hey, you got a gun?
No.
You got a gun?
No.
It would be nice if we had a weapon.
I do.
I get bows.
Bows, that's keen.
Go get him.
Kelly.
Kelly, do you read me?
Kelly.
Oh, God.
What is this thing?
I can't.
Checking in, sir.
Kelly, do you read me?
I didn't get the gun.
Kelly, I can't.
Kelly.
I know what to do.
What?
The pool house.
They're making for the pool house.
Oh, my God.
Wait.
I had bows in here.
Is this what you want?
Oh, my God.
I'm not even.
Oh, that's good.
You're going to shoot mice with that, right?
See you later.
Bye.
Bernie.
Help me!
Hey!
Help!
There's someone out here with a boat.
They got Agent Brick.
Damn!
They're not going to make it.
Just keep them in the pool.
Don't move.
Mikhailovich, can you read me?
There's gasoline behind the pool house.
Get it.
Use it.
Keep them in the pool.
Repeat, keep them in the pool till further orders.
You're going to be all right.
I'm Fassett, remember?
FBI.
This is done.
I'm Fassett.
Remember me?
I'm Fassett.
Remember me?
I'm Fassett.
Remember me?
I'm Fassett.
Remember me?
I don't think we'll need the boat.
It's going to take a little trip, the three of us.
Come on.
I think you got it.
Come on.
Don't walk away.
All right.
Next time I'm going to wear my old clothes, big.
John.
Worship engraving images again, John.
Be of good cheer.
Salvation is at hand.
Fassett says we'll be all right if you do what he wants.
John, to use your own words, you want something from me.
Oh, I want something from you.
I want revenge for my wife.
Maxwell Danforth murdered her, and I will have him exposed.
Now, you have the power and the audience to do what we both want.
Oh, John, I hardly think you're in a position to negotiate.
John, I don't want you to do anything wrong.
I love you.
I'll be in touch.
He found out Tanner's friends were funneling money out of the country.
Then he uncovered the vag man, McAlibitch, and he tamed him.
Then he fabricated a KGB dossier on him.
I told you he was a very skillful operative.
But why?
Why did he make us try to believe Omega existed?
Stennings, Stennings.
The existence of Omega has not been disproved.
Don't you understand that?
Omega is as real as we need it to be.
We have enough evidence to convince any congressional committee of that.
One thing our enemies fear is that someone who knows them for what they are
might come to power in this country.
And they're right to be afraid.
Now you find Fassett before that damn show tonight.
Okay, get ready, 3.
We got 30 seconds here.
Cue Tanner.
Roll tape.
Bring up the logos.
Speed.
Take one.
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
Welcome to Face to Face.
Tonight the title of our program is Alpha to Omega, the first to the last.
Take two.
First we talk to Maxwell Danforth, arguably the most powerful man in the nation.
If by powerful you mean whoever has the greatest effect on your privacy,
your personal well-being, and your possible prospects of survival.
Take one.
Do you have ambitions to be president?
Cue Tanner.
Some people might consider that paranoid.
We're coming at you.
Are we coming?
Mr. Danforth, you've gone on record as saying that counterintelligence
and public accountability make uneasy bedfellows.
Would you explain it to me?
Okay, you're a good one.
Coming to you.
Ready, 5.
At this point I'd like to introduce my mystery guest.
And 20 seconds please.
Sir Danforth.
9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3.
Good evening.
Welcome to Face to Face.
The title of our program tonight is Alpha to Omega, the first to the last.
First we talk to Maxwell Danforth, arguably the most powerful man in the nation.
If by powerful you mean whoever has the greatest effect on your privacy,
your personal well-being, and your possible prospects of survival.
Mr. Danforth.
Tell us your policy, please, regarding the present Soviet missile build-up.
This is the end of the 20th century in which we live,
and no nation can expand further without coming into conflict with its neighbor.
We are being forced into playing a game in which there will have to be a winner,
and the Soviets intend it will be them.
And you, sir, have a solution to all this.
Our people must be educated to the realities of this crisis.
We have always been ignorant of our destiny, and yet our destiny is simple.
Not easy, mind you, but simple.
Our destiny is to survive.
Do you have ambitions to be president?
That's a very pointed question, Mr. Taylor.
My answer is no.
My ambition is to continue to serve my country with all of my talents and energies.
However, if it is my destiny to be called on by the American people
to assume that exalted office, I should feel compelled to accept.
I have always sought out my country's enemies and foiled their designs against us.
As president of these United States, I would continue to do so.
At this point, I'd like to introduce my mystery guest.
A man until recently employed by the CIA,
a man who has worked closely with Maxwell Danforth
on a covert operation that cost the lives of four innocent people,
a man who represents the hidden side of Maxwell Danforth's power.
Central Control.
Ladies and gentlemen, Lawrence Fassett.
This is Stennings. Red alert. He's serviced.
Mr. Fassett, what can you tell us about the director of the CIA?
I know Maxwell Danforth very well.
He killed my wife two years ago.
Not with his bare hands, of course,
but the Danforths of this world don't murder in that fashion, would they?
Calm down. Be quiet.
They make telephone calls, write memos,
use jargon words like terminate and eliminate.
This is priority.
So that their mouths don't have to touch words like murder or kill.
To you out there, my fellow Americans,
the man you have just seen is a killer of innocent people,
and with the connivance of John Tanner, he has been allowed to appear here
and to make allegations against me, which he has no possible means of proving.
Take one.
This piece of film was taken by CIA surveillance cameras.
The woman is Mrs. Lawrence Fassett. The killers were a KGB.
Oh! Oh! Oh!
It is true.
It is true that I have killed innocent people,
but then my guilt is not in question.
But the guilt of this man is,
and it will continue to be so until he is exposed.
A man that is prepared to use the power of his office
and all its techniques in order to further his own personal ambition.
Any comments, Mr. Danforth?
Comment? Yes, I have a comment.
You and this man Fassett are traitors.
An archaic term, but it fits.
When I realized what you had done by bringing this murderer onto your program,
I was shocked, but now I am glad.
Because you have illustrated, better than I ever could,
exactly how dangerous our enemies are.
And by their presence here, they bear witness to my assertion
that not until we have a leadership in this country committed to ruling out this disease,
not until then can we have a healthy nation.
I say to you all, all of you watching,
without a healthy America, we live in a hopeless world indeed.
Well, why don't you kill me then, Max?
Use your powers.
Show your audience how you're going to save them from what lies inside each of them.
Kill me, Max, and pretend that you're killing their fear.
Be the new savior risen in the hour of need.
Don't think you won't be found, Fassett.
And don't think you won't be exterminated.
You have my word on that. You hear? You hear me?
Take three.
Where's my wife?
All eyes, toe back, widen out too.
Oh, this is nice.
Okay, get ready, just get eyes, get eyes on ten, everyone.
What you just saw, in a way, was a life-size video game.
You saw a liar talk to a killer and you couldn't tell him apart.
Who cares? It's only television.
As you all know, television programs are just the fillers between attempts to see your money.
So if you want to save some, switch off.
It's simple.
It's done with the hand and what is left of your free will.
This is the moment.
My bet is you can't do it.
Go ahead and try.
Am I still on?
I'm still on.