Funding for Frontline is provided by this station, and other public television stations nationwide, and by the Corporation for Public Broadcasting.
Tonight on Frontline, couples who make private deals to adopt babies.
I just wanted a child. It didn't matter to me whether I carried him or her for nine months.
In California, there's a computer service which finds babies for childless couples.
All I've ever heard is, you're not going to get a baby. It's impossible.
They take their chances, and sometimes end up in court.
We have three people who both love, all of whom want and love this child.
Tonight, Desperately Seeking Baby.
From the network of public television stations, a presentation of KCTS Seattle, WNET New York, WPBT Miami, WTVS Detroit, and WGBH Boston.
This is Frontline, with Judy Woodruff.
Good evening. Tonight, a story about a controversial way of adopting babies.
Millions of couples find to their dismay that when they are ready to have a baby, they can't.
Many are professional couples who waited to start a family, but instead face the heartbreak of infertility.
If they want to adopt, they find agencies which offer handicapped, older, or biracial children,
but almost never what they dream of, a healthy white child.
So in many places, private enterprise is taking over.
Services which find babies for these couples to adopt are springing up.
Tonight, the experiences of three couples at one such service.
It can be wonderful, but sometimes it can end up almost as bad as not having a child at all.
The producer of Desperately Seeking Baby is Elizabeth Arledge.
A place like this used to be called an orphanage.
The babies here are being given up for adoption.
Fifteen years ago, this place was overflowing with babies.
Today, almost all single pregnant women either have abortions or keep their babies.
So there are always empty cribs.
Fort Worth, Texas. At this agency, adoptions are done the old fashioned way, absolute confidentiality and tight screening.
They're looking for couples between 24 and 39, married at least three years, probably never divorced and infertile.
Then maybe they'll put you on a waiting list.
We also suggest that you get your name on other available adoption agency lists because we get over 4,000 inquiries a year for adoption with Gladney.
Four thousand couples, but only about 300 babies.
At this time, our waiting time is three to four years.
Scott and Susan have passed all the tests.
Probably the most exciting part is you go from no baby to baby thing.
They've waited three years. The agency's fee will be twelve thousand dollars.
She has just been fed and so she's spitting just a little bit.
This is the payoff. And this kind of adoption is as close to risk free as possible.
No parents will never know the mother and she will not know them.
The agency will seal the records.
There is virtually no chance the birth mother can come back to haunt the parents.
Look how cute. Look at her. She's so tiny.
She might be spitting up a little.
You got it? Yeah. Oh, God.
Let me take this. Oh, look at this. Look at this. Look.
You're a keeper.
These new parents are among the lucky few.
At this agency alone, nine other couples are still waiting each time a baby is placed.
Nationwide, at least two million couples want to adopt.
There are 40 couples for every available baby.
San Francisco, California.
Each year, thousands of couples also try to adopt babies here.
Couples like Judy and Dennis DeSalvo.
I can't wait to see this baby.
Just so long, he doesn't look like me.
Another one that looks like you?
But the DeSalvos are not seeking their child from an adoption agency.
It's just past midnight, and the DeSalvos are on their way to a hospital.
Here, they hope they'll get a baby to adopt, but it's a completely different and some say risky way.
The DeSalvos remember how their journey to this adoption began
after eight years of tests and operations and the heartbreak of infertility.
I just wanted a child. It didn't matter to me whether I carried him or her for nine months
and then gave birth to him, or if I had a child that was brought into my home one day old.
But adoption wasn't easy, as they discovered when they went to their local adoption agency.
They would show you the pictures of young children, not necessarily babies,
you know, anywhere from, I would say, newborn to six, seven years old,
that were either severely handicapped physically, emotionally,
and they said, would you want this child in your home?
Otherwise, it could be five to seven years before a baby would be available.
The DeSalvos live just outside San Francisco.
In California, as in many states, most couples who want babies don't get them from traditional agencies.
Instead, they take a chance on something called private adoption.
They actually meet the mother, set up a deal, and hope for the best.
Mark and Bonnie Gradstein's office.
Through a friend, the DeSalvos heard about a business they thought could help them.
You know, you're going to have to meet with a social worker, you know, to sign your consent.
Bonnie Gradstein calls herself an adoption counselor.
Okay, I'm a lawyer. Okay. My clients are people who want to adopt children.
Mark Gradstein is Bonnie's husband.
They run a highly profitable business that matches pregnant women with childless couples.
All they've ever heard is you're not going to get a baby. It's impossible.
You have to wait five to ten years for what you're looking for, and then you may not qualify.
So what they're hearing is we're not going to be parents, and that's how they're feeling.
Like, the one thing we want most in the world we are not going to have,
and we're going to have to settle for a life without children.
And what I can do is try to help your daughter to find somebody that she thinks would be appropriate for parents for this child if that's what she wants.
First, they need to find pregnant women who might want to give up their babies.
They advertise in the yellow pages of most major cities.
They accept collect calls 24 hours a day.
Our clients are allowed to help her with living expenses, so if she needed a place to stay, they could help her that way.
Then a computer matches their clients with the pregnant women.
The real problem that seems to go with the territory is simply can she go through with this?
You know, it's not the easiest thing in the world for somebody to place her baby for adoption.
They are not an agency. They don't even need a license.
They simply put people together and hope for the best.
You know, we'll try to help her to figure out that this is indeed what she wants to do, if it is.
And if it is, well, then everything else seems to work itself out.
Hi.
Mark.
Alan.
Nice to meet you.
I'm Sue.
Nice to meet you.
Hi.
I'm Bonnie.
They provide agencies first.
Most either don't meet the requirements or don't want to wait.
So they pay between $1200 and $2400 for advice on how to find a baby.
They're taught the tricks of writing a convincing letter and taking a warm and friendly picture.
Oh, that's a great picture.
Isn't that nice?
Yeah, good color.
Then they send thousands of these letters all over the country to doctors, clinics, even high schools,
and hope a pregnant woman will read one and give them her baby.
There is no screening of them or of the mothers, and nothing is legally binding.
It's all based on promises, but most clients get their baby in less than a year,
and every couple is thrilled to hear that.
It was just great.
We just left there feeling like there was going to be a positive end to the situation that was just haunting us.
She just totally left it up to us and said,
the more letters you send out, the quicker you're going to get a baby.
Chances are you're going to have a baby in six months.
We had never heard such good news before.
So we just left there feeling great and thinking, we can do this.
And only four months later, the DeSalvo's dream came true.
They got their son, Adam, who is now three.
I'm going to come up.
Let me roll it to you.
There we are.
Great job.
Happy birthday, Jacqueline.
Here's one reason why the DeSalvo's wanted children.
At this family birthday party, there are more than a dozen of Adam's cousins with more on the way.
Here comes a new baby.
We've got babies coming out of our ears around here.
Is Nick and Linda having another baby?
I just had that yesterday.
Like the rest of their family, Dennis and Judy also want more children.
That's why they're taking their chances on a second private adoption.
Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday dear Jacqueline.
Happy birthday to you.
And if the risk pays off, they may get another child like Adam.
This is Janice Lloyd.
She's 29 years old and eight months into a pregnancy she didn't plan.
When I found out, I went to a pregnancy counseling center and had thought about abortion until I found out that I was too fatherly.
I found out that I was too far along and at the time I was pretty scared.
I didn't really know what I was going to do.
I felt like the child should have a chance, a mother and father, and a more stable life than a single person could give it.
You know, we've come to a point where there's an acute shortage of babies in this country for adoption.
Then Janice saw this TV program about private adoption and was intrigued by Bonnie Grandstein.
It's actually the birth mother who places the baby and she chooses the couple she wants to give the baby to.
This was the first time Janice realized she could choose the parents of her child, that she didn't have to simply hand her baby over to an agency.
I didn't want that child to feel like it was neglected as far as I was concerned.
If they needed to talk to me about something just to assure themselves that I wasn't somebody who just wanted to dump them on somebody else's doorstep.
I wanted that opportunity to be there for them.
So Janice went to Bonnie Grandstein and picked this photograph, Judy and Dennis DiSalvo.
They all met over a Chinese dinner.
We were trying to guess, you know, who she was as she was walking up, you know, if that was the one.
I was real nervous for about the first five minutes.
We just felt that what was meant to be would happen.
And about halfway through the dinner my mind was made up.
It's now three weeks before Janice's baby is due.
She's coming to have dinner with Judy and Dennis.
Hi, how are you?
I'm doing fine. How are you?
Advocates of traditional anonymous adoption would be shocked by this meeting.
How did your doctor's appointment go today?
Fine.
What did he say?
Nothing.
A couple more weeks.
He said that last week.
But most of the Grandstein's clients get to know the mother before they adopt her child
and stay in touch with her afterward, usually sending her pictures
and sometimes even letting her visit the child.
It all went well. He's really hoping it'll be in a couple of weeks.
And he didn't ask for another scan.
After a couple and a mother are put together, they structure their deal by themselves.
Typically a couple like the DiSalvos will pay Janice's medical bills.
Other couples may even agree to pay the mother's rent and living expenses.
The total cost then is often as high as $8,000.
But no contracts are signed.
None of the money paid on the condition that the mother give up her child.
Janice is under no obligation to go through with it, so Judy and Dennis take their chances.
I think you reach a point in a situation like ours where you just have to have some basic feelings
about the person and know what you think they would do in a given circumstance
and just go on what your feeling is and not be nervous about it.
Janice can change her mind any time until the final papers are signed,
about six months after the baby's born.
So Judy and Dennis have to wait and hope and trust their instincts.
It's hard to define my feelings for Janice.
I mean it's, you know, it's like, you know, I could say it's like love for a sister, you know,
or love of a friend.
But all I know is that I love her and she's there and, you know, I want her around.
It makes me feel real special.
It makes me feel like this is more special than I ever anticipated.
Better than I had hoped for.
There she is.
The most gorgeous baby you ever saw.
Mark, you've got to see this.
Isn't she gorgeous? She's gorgeous.
The Gradstein adoption business got started ten years ago after Bonnie had two stillborn babies.
Well, actually I was obsessed with wanting a child so badly that after we had lost our two babies,
nothing else mattered to me.
I wanted to be a mother so badly that I became totally obsessed with finding a child.
I just knew that there would be a baby for me, that we were such a wonderful couple,
that we could find one woman who would give us her baby.
And that's how I started and that's how I figured out how to find a baby.
From this original picture and letter, they adopted David, who's nine.
And so is Diana, their natural child.
Their other adopted daughter, Alyssa, is four.
Today, about 20 couples a month get babies from the Gradstein's,
and they've become successful advocates of private adoption.
I kind of decided that what I wanted to do was pass on everything that I knew
and mainly pass on this wonderful joy that I had in my life
and help other people to do what I had done.
People like Rosemary and Michael Black.
He's a doctor. She used to be a medical technician.
Rosemary had two unsuccessful pregnancies and the complications almost killed her.
She was devastated by her loss.
With my second pregnancy, I remember we were so excited
and we had picked out babies' books and little things.
And I can remember coming home from the hospital
and just ripping them up and tearing them up.
And yeah, I grieved, but as I said,
I tried to always keep looking towards the brighter side.
She thought the brighter side might be adoption, so she went to Bonnie Gradstein.
Hi, Bonnie. Nice to see you.
A lot's happened.
Lisa Swanson picked Rosemary's photograph.
She's 24 and single, still involved with the father of her baby,
and it's the second time she's been pregnant this year.
And I found out I was pregnant for the first time.
And I just said, you know, I'm going to have an abortion, and that's all there is to it.
So I went in the head and I had an abortion, and we got pregnant again in January.
And that was it.
There was just no question to me there was not another abortion.
I was not going to go through it again, ever, ever again,
because you have to draw the line somewhere.
Lisa says her own difficult childhood, a broken home, an absent father,
is why she doesn't want to be a single mother.
If I have to work all the time and I'm working 10 hours a day
and the child was in a daycare center and I go and pick it up
and I have to work on weekends, I'm tired, I don't...
Who's suffering the most? The child.
They're not getting full benefits of me being a parent because I have to work.
I have another totally encompassing thought in my mind,
and that is making sure that we have enough money to pay the rent, to do this, to do that.
I guess you could say I'm immature, but I can't comprehend doing all those things at once
and still bringing up a child in a positive, wonderful environment.
I see people do it every day, but I guess I just want more.
I have the choice to hopefully give the child more, and that's what I'm hoping I'm doing.
I remember really well, I will probably never forget first seeing Lisa,
and I get a little emotional because it was all good feelings.
It's certainly nothing negative, nothing bad.
It was like a dream coming true that there was this pretty girl,
this pretty girl, and she was so fresh and so clean,
and it was like smelling a pretty flower or something.
I guess this is just the best way for me to go about giving up my child,
to be able to meet the parents, to just know in my heart that I believe I've made a good choice.
It's now three weeks before the baby is due.
This is only the second time Lisa and Rosemary have ever seen each other,
but Rosemary has agreed to be Lisa's coach for the birth of their mutual child.
Amy Granstein has arranged a special maternity ward tour.
Okay, so we'll change you, we'll put this gown on you, you'll lay down here,
and this is where you'll stay, and you'll be her coach and her support person,
and this is where you stay for the majority part of your labor up until the delivery time,
which at that point will move you into the delivery room.
About 30% of adoptive mothers are labor coaches in Granstein adoptions.
When it works out, it is an intimate and powerful experience for both women.
Okay, does that one need to be freshly born?
Yeah, all of these are.
So you'll stay in here, and then your baby will probably go to the intensive care, the nurse room.
It can be in the room with you though, can't you?
Yeah, it can be in the room with you.
That same day Lisa and Rosemary tried practicing Lamar's techniques together.
Contraction begins.
Two complete strangers expected to act as if they were the closest of family members.
It's part of the emotional price of private adoptions,
but still there is always the uncertainty, will Lisa really give Rosemary her child?
I was suddenly thinking, I wonder if she changes her mind,
and it's getting close now, and she's going to start experiencing things,
and of course there's going to be this baby she's going to see soon,
and what is she going to feel like when she sees this baby?
And I have no idea of knowing how she's going to feel.
It's starting to let up now.
Relax.
There you go.
I think Lisa can do it.
I believe Lisa can do it.
I hope Lisa can do it.
Sometimes I want to be by myself.
It's like I want to be left alone, and lick my wounds,
and see the baby, and be with the baby for a couple of days,
and not have anybody around telling me that if you do that,
you're never going to let go, and if you do that, that's wrong.
You need to do that to yourself.
That's just what I wish I could do.
In the same respect, I know how important it is for Rosemary to be involved.
I'm not going to change my mind when the baby gets placed on my stomach.
It's going to be really hard.
It's going to be really hard, but I don't know.
I just want Rosemary to be there, and to be touched by that.
I just think that that is really important.
If you could say something to the baby right now, what would you say?
You're going to have a beautiful life, lots of love,
everything I could possibly, possibly give you,
and I guess a real balanced kind of life, intellectually, emotionally, physically,
and just to expose it to all the wonderful things.
But two weeks before the baby was due, Lisa changed her mind.
She decided to keep her baby.
Half an hour south of San Francisco,
another Gradstein family is facing even greater heartbreak
in a case that is shaking the entire private adoption system.
Oh, my.
Is it good stuff? Good stuff?
Yes, good stuff, huh?
Kendall Catanzaro is 14 months old.
Vic and Molly Catanzaro have raised her since she was born and want to adopt her.
Is that good stuff? Where's your thumb?
Yes, your fingers.
That's your thumb.
Those are your fingers.
How many fingers do you have?
At first, it seemed like a routine private adoption.
They were typical clients, in their 30s, childless after eight years of marriage.
They sent out 1,000 letters and waited.
Then, at last, they heard about Kendall.
Vic and Molly never met Kendall's birth mother.
They did all their dealing through the Gradsteins.
Finally, they went to the hospital to pick up their baby.
They put her in my arms, and it was unbelievable.
I've held a lot of children, but at that point, she was my daughter.
They took Kendall home the next day.
They didn't hear from her birth mother until Kendall was five and a half months old
when they got a letter.
Thank you for all that you've done for me in a beautiful arrangement of flowers.
To tell you both, you're welcome for making your dreams come true.
God did that.
He brought you to me.
I should be thanking you for making her dreams come true.
She's a special little girl, but of course, you both already know that.
My prayers are with you, Molly.
The joy of being a mother has just begun.
Someday, you'll see.
I just want you to know she's your daughter now, and no one can take her away,
and no one is going to.
Sincerely, yours, the birth mother.
But three months later, they got a phone call.
Mark Gradstein was our attorney at the time,
and he had received a telephone call from the birth mother
indicating that she was changing her mind
or was relatively certain that she wanted her child back.
Under California law, a birth mother in a private adoption
has six months to officially give up her baby.
Vic and Molly thought Kendall's mother had done so,
but the state's social services department couldn't find her,
so she never signed her final consent papers.
It was, therefore, legally possible for the mother to take Kendall back,
even though she was eight and a half months old by then.
At that point, it was as though I'd given birth to Kendall.
She was mine.
At this point, we'll do anything because she's our baby,
and we have no intention of just turning her over
because somebody requested her back.
You wait, bye-bye.
As far as the feelings from the mother's point of view,
it's too hard to explain to you.
You know, it's like trying to function with only one leg
or trying to function with no arms.
It's hard to do.
It could be done, but it's very hard to do.
My life just did not function at all after she was gone.
This is Kendall's mother, Robin Upton.
Twenty years old, she has a four-year-old son she's raising on her own,
and she says she didn't know what she was doing
when she gave her second child, Kendall, up.
I was living in a time in my life that was very confusing,
the father disappearing after saying that he would help me
and then all of a sudden disappearing.
Having one child of mine already, going through beauty school,
trying to get that out of the way,
being on welfare and all that other nonsense.
Very confusing, and I was very emotional in my decision.
I was thinking mostly in the fact that these people could give her
all the material things that she needed,
not so much more love because I loved her,
but giving her more of the material things,
and I felt secure in my decision as far as that
I'm sure that they could give it to her.
After I had her, I changed my mind.
I kind of had mixed feelings right after I had her.
So Robin hired a lawyer and finally met the Catanzaros
in court on June 25, 1986, when Kendall was 11 months old.
At the end of that 15-minute hearing as to the destiny of this child,
the judge said hand her over like she was a bag of meat.
I looked at Molly and I knew that she could not hand Kendall over
to the birth mother.
So I took it upon myself to do it,
and I was tempted many times to go out the back steps of the courthouse.
All I can visualize is a Steven Spielberg movie
where you're walking down and there's fog and haze
and everything was out of perception.
I just saw this person down the end of the hallway
and it was like it took me an eternity to get there.
I handed Kendall over to the birth mother
and she just grabbed her and put her on her hip,
turned to her party and said, let's go.
It's hard to explain what my emotions were at that point.
I think it hit me later.
I was in shock and that evening it finally dawned on me what had happened,
especially after we got home.
And every time we looked around there she was.
All we could do was just start picking up her toys.
So it took us about four hours to pick up everything
that she was acquainted with.
And every time we looked around we saw her dancing by the door
over there picking up a little toy.
And it was, Molly said it was worse than death,
but I'll say it has to be as close to it,
the closest thing I've experienced for a long time to death.
Mark Gradstein told the Catanzeros
that they had very little legal chance of keeping Kendall,
but Vic and Molly wanted to fight.
Hi, Chris.
Good to see you.
Hi, Chris. How are you?
They hired a new lawyer, Chris Van Dusen,
a specialist in contested adoptions.
After a week of appeals, Kendall was returned to them on July 2, 1986.
But it's not over.
It's now September and Robin still wants Kendall,
15 months old, back.
Van Dusen and the Catanzeros are getting ready to go back to court tomorrow.
Thanks for the quick news.
September 29, 1986.
Robin Upton, Kendall's mother, is here with her lawyer Jay Smith and her mother.
The Catanzeros bring with them a renowned child psychiatrist
who has tested Kendall for the after effects of the week she spent with Robin.
They're all here today because Robin has asked for visitation rights with Kendall.
It is still six weeks before the court will decide where Kendall will spend the rest of her life.
Mr. Riley, this is Humboldt.
Court is now in session. We can see you.
Yes, sir. I'd like to call Robin Upton.
Robin, what's your relationship to the child that is the center of these cases?
No, sir.
Robin wants to take Kendall home with her for two weeks before the next court date.
She says that Kendall, whom she calls Sadie, was perfectly happy to be with her mother
when Robin won her the first time in June.
She seemed contented the first couple days.
She was getting used to her surroundings, but she adapted very well.
She played and laughed.
I had a very good time with my family and myself.
Why do you want to have visitation with your daughter?
I want to spend some time with my daughter. I want to be with her.
Why is that?
Well, whatever visitation I may receive, it would help me to catch up on the last time
that I haven't been able to spend with her.
I have no further questions. This is with the shrine.
The narrows are trying to prove Kendall, or Sadie, was traumatized by the time she spent with Robin
and shouldn't be away from them again.
After Kendall was returned to you, what did you observe about her sleeping habits at that time?
After about a week, she started having sleeping problems.
She also started waking up two or three times a night, screaming, crying, crying out for me.
Roy also testifies that Kendall came back covered with a rash, that she wouldn't eat,
that she stopped walking and went back to crawling, and that she was terrified of strangers.
She said that Kendall still has all these problems three full months later.
Van Duesen then questions the child psychiatrist, Dr. Justin Call.
The doctor says all Kendall's problems are related to her separation from the Catanzaros
and will get worse if visitation is granted to Robin again.
Let me ask you this question.
Separating a 13-month-old infant that is intensely attached to primary caretakers,
would that be traumatic to the child to remove those caretakers
and supply new caretaking figures that are strangers?
It usually would be quite traumatic, yes, because this child shows very clear evidence
of having been traumatized by the first separation,
and repeat separations can be even more traumatic,
and a series of traumas is always much more extensively damaging
than a single traumatic event in itself.
But neither the psychiatrist nor the Catanzaros convinced the judge
that Kendall should be kept from her natural mother.
We have a problem here.
We have three people who both love, all of whom want and love this child,
and they're unwilling to recognize the love and interest of the other.
They all want to be exclusive, and unfortunately,
there's no real way to share this child.
One of these parties is going to have to win,
and one of them is going to have to lose if you look at it that way.
What I want to do now is I'm going to take another recess, about 10 minutes,
and I want the parties to discuss this, having in mind what the court has indicated,
but see what you can work out.
You're not dealing with an automobile or a cow.
You're talking about a child.
All of you love this child, all three of you,
and all three of you should be able to arrive at some reasonable dissertation
until November the 10th, whatever that may be.
The Catanzeros decide to tell Robin she can visit Kendall in their home,
but they don't want Robin to take Kendall overnight to her home,
250 miles away in Bakersfield.
Robin, her mother and her lawyer, want two 10-day visits with Kendall,
or Sadie, in Bakersfield.
But I think that it's a critical moment.
So negotiations begin.
The two lawyers try to come to an agreement.
Meanwhile inside, Vic Catanzero pleads with Robin not to take the child out of town.
But Robin wants time with her daughter, she says,
while Vic Catanzero's watching over her.
Has there been any problems?
All right, this will be the order of the court.
The judge orders a compromise.
Robin can spend one weekend with Kendall in a hotel, which the Catanzeros pay for.
And then Robin can take Kendall to her home in Bakersfield for a second weekend.
So I'm going to give her one weekend up here and one weekend down there,
and we'll see everybody back on the tent.
Thank you, Robin.
After a full morning of arguing, everyone feels they lost.
She doesn't want to see any betterment of the child.
She just wants to hear what she wants to hear, what she wants.
I hoped to take her home with me today, but understandably I didn't, so.
Robin and her mother tell a very different version of the events which led to court today.
Robin says she immediately had regrets after giving Sadie up.
The first person that I responded to when they asked me how I was doing was the Gradstein's Bonnie.
She called me on the phone probably about three weeks after I had had her.
And they said, how are you doing?
Like everything was supposed to be rosy.
And I said, I'm doing terrible.
How do you think, you know?
We haven't changed your mind, have you?
And I said, I don't know.
And she goes, well, you can't do this.
And I said, I don't know.
She was the first person I ever expressed my feelings to.
And I got a great big negative wall put right in front of me.
So I kept kind of hush-hush about it after that then too.
She says she was pressured even before Sadie was born by Bonnie Gradstein.
Well, they called me when I was going to beauty school, still pregnant.
They called me almost once a week, Bonnie did, asking me questions.
Would you be going to school with all these chemicals and blah, blah, blah,
and all this other nonsense and just asking me in general, you know,
are you still going to do this?
Bonnie, I don't know, just don't pressure me, you know.
I don't know.
Yeah, I guess so.
So probably a week or two before I had her,
she was calling all the time, talking to her and talking to me
saying, now, once this is done and over with, you can't change your mind.
Look at all the things these people have done for you.
I felt a sense of obligation.
I had mostly guilt, confusion, and like I said, it was just a mess.
Robin also says she doesn't even remember writing the letter
she sent the Catanzeros, saying she'd never take Sadie back.
I can honestly say that I was a different person.
I've had a 360-degree turnaround since then.
So as far as what was said in the letter, it could be very possible
that I wrote that because like I said, I was feeling very guilty
about my own circumstances as well as giving her up and very confused.
And in the long run, both Sadie's mother and grandmother
feel she belongs with them.
If we don't just look at right now, what about the child right now?
What about the child when she's of age to know?
She learns through all the publicity,
because this thing has been publicized a lot,
and she learns that her natural mother wanted her desperately
to fight for her, and these adoptive parents,
whom she's been raised by, assuming they do keep her,
kept her from her mother.
To me, that would be more traumatic than anything happening
to a child being 13 months old.
If I'm doing the right thing, I personally, like I said,
it's going to be prejudice.
I feel I am doing the right thing in getting her back.
I should have never done it in the first place.
We asked the Gradsteins about Robin's claim
that they had pressured her.
It makes me laugh, because I know that I never do that,
and I would never do that, I have never done that,
and if she is saying that, she is not telling the truth.
I mean, I would get up there and say, I swear that I didn't do that,
and I've never done that, and I would never do that.
There's no reason to do that.
That would be the dumbest thing anyone could do.
The only thing dumber than that is for somebody to make up that story.
Since 80% of all babies adopted in California are private adoptions,
it seems inevitable that more people like the Catanzeros
will end up in court.
More than 100 other children like Kendall are being fought over,
at least one case in every county in the state.
If Robin had signed her consent papers,
the only way she could get Kendall back would be to prove she had been coerced.
But since the papers were not signed,
Robin, the natural parent, has legal priority over the Catanzeros
unless they can prove that she abandoned Kendall
and that it would be detrimental to Kendall to go back to Robin now.
So ultimately, the court decision will be based on a difficult question.
Who will be the best parents for Kendall?
Robin's lawyer, Jay Smith.
Once we start down that road,
there's none of us who aren't immune from someone coming in and saying,
I can provide better for your children than you can.
There's not anyone who is immune from a millionaire
or someone who's a child psychologist
or someone who, if you're a family where both parents work,
someone's saying, well, wait a minute, in our family,
the mother can stay home and have this full care,
or we've got two swimming pools and a hot tub.
If we start judging it in those kind of economic terms,
we lose sight of what a family is
and what's important in raising children.
In these cases, the system is going to create a victim.
And the real question now is, who is going to be the victim?
Kendall Lane, where are you going? Where are you going?
Looking at it from the point of view of the child,
this child only recognizes one set of parents,
Mr. and Mrs. Catanzaro.
And the bond is reciprocal.
They are in love with this child.
They have nurtured the child through the early days of midnight feedings
and three o'clock feedings.
The diaper changes, the colic.
And it's not biology that makes one a parent.
It's that day in and day out care
and that loving nurturing that you provide for a child.
You going to smell it? Smell.
However this case is decided,
the Catanzaro say it calls into question the private adoption environment
and the role of people like Bonnie and Mark Granstein.
We relied on Mark and relied on the system that we would be able to,
if we played the game right, play the game the way it's set up to be played.
Go through and you live a good life.
You answer the questions.
You maintain a good livelihood.
And you ask the system to adopt a child.
You'll be able to adopt a child.
You don't know until you go through the hardships
what the problems are to be prepared for.
And we surely didn't.
We went to experts that said this is the way you do it.
We got snuckered.
November 10th, 1986.
The Catanzaro's and Robyn are back in court,
this time to decide Kendall's future.
But a few days before, Chris Van Dusen sent a subpoena to the judge,
asking him to remove himself from the case.
Van Dusen feels the judge is prejudiced against psychiatric testimony,
which could show it will be harmful for Kendall to go back to Robyn.
This time our cameras were not allowed inside.
After a stormy session, the judge delayed the trial for another month.
But he accused Chris Van Dusen of legal malpractice for sending him the subpoena
and nearly had him arrested for contempt of court.
He called the Catanzaro's mentally unbalanced,
and he angrily ordered Kendall return to Robyn at the end of the day.
Then he took himself off the case.
You know, I would have to say that this is a very reasonable petition
for disqualification of the judge,
because we don't think he should have a sound mind to make a decision like this.
By now, Van Dusen decided the Catanzaro's would be better off with a new lawyer.
I think that my actions have probably been broadcast over this court.
And if I'm going to represent you effectively, I can't ask you to go into court,
knowing that there is a negative set in the cases.
The Catanzaro's asked Van Dusen to offer Robyn one last compromise.
She could continue visitation with Kendall in their home
if she would leave her with them until the trial to determine final custody.
Robyn refused.
So Van Dusen and the Catanzaro's left for San Francisco.
They had until 5.30 p.m. to try to get a higher court to order that Kendall should stay with them.
No one knew where Kendall would sleep that night.
Now it's been a real roller coaster so far.
My client's going through a roller coaster of emotions where first she has it ordered
and the lawyer's telling her, well, it may all be snatched away from you at 5.15 this afternoon
by three guys who've never met you.
So it's a real upsetting day today.
After a tense day of waiting, at 5.30, the Catanzaro's prevailed.
Kendall was ordered to stay with them until the trial.
Robyn would have no further visitation.
Back at the Gradstein's office, the demand for babies continues.
Did you know anything at all about private adoption before this call?
Bonnie and Mark say they could not have prevented the Catanzaro tragedy.
They argue that only 5% of their adoptions end with the mother taking her baby back
and they hardly ever end up in court.
But some failure rate, they say, must be expected.
First of all, you've got to understand that the vast, vast majority of women
who have babies do not place them for adoption.
They keep them. They raise them.
And what we're dealing with is a very exceptional group of women.
And I think it would be incredible if women didn't change their minds.
I think I wouldn't believe it.
And I'm just glad it's a very small number of cases.
And I think our clients are willing to accept that risk,
knowing that there's no way you can have a child risk-free.
Come on, somebody's got to come out.
As for Judy and Dennis DiSalvo,
in the middle of the night in a suburban San Francisco hospital,
they are spending the last few anxious hours
hoping the risk they are taking with Janice will pay off.
At 2.52 a.m., Janice has her baby.
It was awful quick.
We have a boy.
It is a boy.
We have a boy.
Yeah.
This is the perfect ending for the advocates of private adoption,
three people solving each other's problems and giving a good home to a child.
I had my son.
You were quick.
Yeah.
I'm so surprised that it happened as fast as it did tonight.
I was enjoying when you knew that this was it.
I was laying on the couch watching the moonlighting.
We were watching that too.
Dennis, we better go.
We'll see you tomorrow.
Okay.
That's a nice room.
Look at that face.
He's all cleaned up.
Now the DeSalvos only have to worry and wait for six more months
until Janice signs the papers giving the baby up.
But that anxiety seems far away as they hold their new baby for the first time
and name him Nicholas Anthony.
Lisa and Rosemary's story has a surprise ending.
After Lisa changed her mind, Rosemary didn't hear from her.
On October 24th, Lisa had a little girl.
She took the baby home with her.
But three weeks later, she called Bonnie
and said she wanted to give the baby to Rosemary after all.
She said she felt that Rosemary and Michael
were really going to be better parents than she could be right now.
In her heart, she knew that was the right thing to do as much as it hurt.
That she knew the right thing to do was to have them raise her daughter.
Rosemary named the baby Laura,
but she didn't want us to show any pictures of her new daughter.
She was worried because the adoption is still not final.
And neither is the ordeal of the Catanzaro family.
Their trial was held for four full days in a closed courtroom.
At Christmas, they were still waiting for a decision.
Just a couple of weeks ago, the Catanzaro's won on an important legal point.
The judge ruled that Robin had intended to abandon Kendall.
The Catanzaro's still have to wait for another ruling on final custody,
but their lawyer told us he believes they are now more likely to end up keeping Kendall.
As for the DeSalvos, Jenna signed the final papers,
and Nicholas will soon legally be their child.
Rosemary, meanwhile, has to wait until at least May to finalize her adoption.
Please join us again for Frontline.
I'm Judy Woodruff. Good night.
Next week on Frontline, television cameras go inside a jury.
The man is guilty. Guilty as sin.
I don't care what the law says. Has justice been done?
Twelve ordinary people decide the fate of one man.
The real-life drama of deliberations in a criminal trial.
Watch Inside the Jury Room.
Next week on Frontline.
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