Is your brush working as hard as you to keep your teeth and gums healthy? This one can. It's from Oral-B, the brand more dentists use themselves. It's the new Advantage, with whole bristle cleaning. Unlike ordinary brushes with smooth bristles, New Advantage has microtextured bristles designed to clean plaque with a whole bristle, not just the tip. Microtextured bristles will triple the cleaning surfaces, so each bristle works harder. The new Oral-B Advantage. Finally, a brush that works as hard as you do. Unlike those big juice companies, we have a different idea about stock growth, market indicators, even futures. Florida's natural premium brand, not from concentrate juice, is made by a co-op of growers whose only business is making juices. They own the land, the trees, the company. So although our idea of stock analysis may be a little different, it's a difference you can taste. Florida's natural premium brand juice. It's the Carol Wright Shopper's Best Awards. May I have the envelope, please? Start the year right with valuable discounts on helpful products, plus special offers of vacation sweepstakes and more. Look for your Carol Wright mailing and say, may I have the envelope, please? Pizza can be painful when you've got a mouth sore. Even orange juice can be torture. You need maximum strength or a gel mouth aid with the most mouth sore pain reliever you can get. Or a gel mouth aid. It's pleasure without the pain. Women everywhere are making plans. We move out in the morning. You in? Yep. They're going to JCPenney's year-end clearance with savings of 30 to 50% throughout the store. See you in the driveway. At dawn. Check. Because wrinkles appear out of nowhere. We've created ponds prevent and correct, now in lotion form. Naturally, two different moisturizers, one with SPF for day, one with alpha hydroxys for night, to help prevent and correct the signs of aging. Okay. There we go. Oh. There goes my dot. I know what you're thinking. You say, oh, oh. Another comedian from Bangladesh. They just keep coming. But I had a nice New Year's Eve party. I'm kind of hangover. I'm not used to hangover. I never knew what hangover was. I thought hangover was a Jewish holiday. I don't drink. New Year's Eve, we drank a lot last night, but I don't drink because in Bangladesh we don't believe in drinking on an empty stomach. New Year's night. Get ready for a wild and crazy TBS premiere. Everybody, please calm down, okay? House Party 3, part of the New Year's Comedy Cure. 8.05 Eastern, Wednesday night, only on the Superstation. Passport. Yes. Can you believe what's possible these days? Travel arrangements right from your own computer, instant stock quotes, and can you believe unlimited use of the world's number one internet online service for one low monthly fee? That's right. That's how we charge you, don't you? Go with number one, America Online. Join today. Your favorite dinosaurs are back in The Land Before Time 4, Journey Through the Mists. Join Littlefoot, Sarah, Ducky, Petrie, and Spike in their newest and best adventure, The Land Before Time 4. Bring it home now at a great low price. Could you say it to her face? Could you tell her that 70 cents a day is too much to pay to save her from misery? Could you tell her that it's too much to pay to save her life? Face to face with a wonderful young girl like my friend Dorian, none of us could say anything like that. But we do say it. We say it by changing the channel. We say it by leaving the room. We say it by not making a simple phone call. 70 cents a day. Now, where you and I live, we'd say that's not enough to change anything. But where Dorian lives, it's enough to change her life. It's enough to protect her from deadly childhood diseases, enough to give her clean water and good food, enough to send her to school, all for just 70 cents a day. Bad water, no sanitation, no money for food. Luis was near death from severe skin infections. His mom cried herself to sleep. A phone call from a lady in Cannon Beach, Oregon changed all that. Thanks to her 70 cents a day, Luis is better. And for the first time, his mom can buy food at the market. Luis has two problems, though. He eats too much and he can't seem to stop smiling. His sponsor couldn't say no to a face like this. Christian Children's Fund is one of the world's oldest and most respected charities. We've seen thousands of lives saved, one at a time, for just 70 cents a day. Call and let us send you the story and a photo of a child you can save, a child like Dorian. He didn't say no by changing the channel. He didn't say no by leaving the room. Will you now say no to a child who needs you? Look into these eyes and do what you do if you were face to face. Tell them that 70 cents a day is not too much. My dad was caught shoplifting for Christmas, yeah, 55 bottles of aftershave lotion. Not one, but one or two, he said they weren't sale. But I say, you know, I don't make resolutions. My resolution is to love. I'm believing in loving. This New Year's is just love. No more hate. I've got to admit, I used to hate a lot of people in the past, but thanks to the good Lord above, you know, all the people I hated are now dead. How does turkey chili sound? Very cute, Jennifer. You're talking about Hormel turkey chili, right? Well, it's great. We already had it last week. We were bored with soup and salad and then we saw this turkey chili and we thought, ding, chili is done. Well, how does it taste? You like turkey? You like chili? You like Hormel turkey chili? Well, we like it. What else is there to say? Nothing beats a bowl of Hormel chili, no matter which Hormel chili it is. Surprise. One really good surprise. Surprise. Well, how about a grapefruit juice drink that's not bitter? Ocean Spray Ruby Red and Tangerine. Surprise. It's sweet. Ocean Spray Ruby Red and Tangerine is surprisingly sweet. It's not like any other grapefruit you've ever had. Whoa, sweet. So if you crave a better grapefruit taste, try Surprisingly Sweet Ruby Red and Tangerine from Ocean Spray. Take away. Sonic technology is used to clean the most coveted diamond in the world, thorns. But sonic technology is also used to clean something far more valuable, his teeth. The new Sonic Air Plus with sonic frequency brushing, it cleans like no ordinary toothbrush for strong, healthy teeth and gums. Sonic Air, amazing, isn't it? It's a clean, fresh beginning. FDS Natural Baking Soda absorbs odor and moisture simply and effectively with a unique time release formula. One gentle spray of FDS on yourself, your panty liners, pantyhose, or underwear, and you'll feel clean and fresh. And FDS Natural Baking Soda is clinically proven safe and hypoallergenic. Get clean, stay fresh, FDS Natural Baking Soda. Before you choose it, you want to see how well it handles, how it curves, straightaways. That's why people choose Pilot pens, because of how terrific they handle. Like this Pilot V-Ball, it's designed for top performance. V-Ball has a visible ink supply and a liquid feed system that delivers smooth, skip-free writing every time. For great performance, take a Pilot V-Ball for a test write. If your skin feels as dry as a desert, Curel Lotion can heal it better. Curel moisturizes better than Luberderm and Carey, increasing your skin's moisture level 184%. You can see the cure in Curel. And now, folks, back to the movie. You know, but I was at this party at Hostess, you know, the New Year's Eve resolution, how she said she wants to lose weight. She said, 1200-pound black woman, 1200-pound black, she said, nobody dates me because of the color of my skin. I don't think so, lady. I think she's confusing color with quantity. She said she's retaining water. What, the Pacific? And she said, within every fat person, there's a skinny person fighting to get out. Guess who's losing that fight? Excuse me. Think your disposable razor shave's as comfortably as his to let sensor excel? Yeah. Well, try sensor excel. That'll change your mind. After one shave with sensor excel, we bet you don't go back. Because only sensor excel is protective micro fins for extra comfort and self-adjusting blades for extra closeness. Disposables don't. And sensor excel gives more shapes per blade than any disposable. Excuse me. Take the sensor excel challenge. Bet you don't go back to disposables. Hey, I want my sensor excel back. Hey, hey. Can you believe those Potterfields? What do you mean? What? They went to Disney World. Again? Yeah, for that 25th anniversary. What are they? When are they going to realize they're not kids anymore? I don't know what's gotten into them. Still whooping it up like a couple of teenagers, running around like they don't have a care in the world. It's ridiculous. What if we all acted that way? Come celebrate Disney World's 25th anniversary. Call 1407W-Disney. Save me. And remember the magic. Before the Saturn comes the silk. Before the cashmere or denim. The silk, the silky skin that comes with Caress Moisturizing Body Wash. It not only cleanses, it has essential moisturizers to nourish your skin every day. Nothing leaves you silkier. Soon before the linen or lace comes the silk. Before you dress, Caress with Caress Moisturizing Body Wash. From the producer of Aliens and Terminator 2. 33% homo sapien. Part human? What are you talking about? Gradual extinction of the human race. The relic. Rated R. Starts Friday, January 10th. Fight dirt. Super broom. Cleans carpets. Bare floors. Super broom. And brush up. With powered brush rolls. Super broom and brush up. No bags to change under four pounds. Lightweight prices. Fly through cleaning with your heroes. From Eureka. Helps fight drowsiness. Helps fight cancer. When part of a healthy diet. 100% pure Florida orange juice. Are you drinking enough? The stuff you keep under here isn't made to be used on here. Try Endust for Electronics. With antistatic to safely clean and repel dust. No wax. No ammonia. So scrub your hardwood, but protect your hardware. Endust for Electronics. When is the best time to buy new tires? Right now, while they're all on sale at Sears. Save big on top name brands like Michelin, Bridgestone, Road Handler, and Goodyear. The one store that carries them all. Now is the best time to buy, but only at Sears. Hey, we're back. Let's see what happens. But living in LA, I said to myself, Jerry, because, you know, Jerry's my name. Or if I'd said Bob, I'd say Bob Hoover. Living in LA, you might as well learn to speak your language, so I got enrolled in a Spanish course here. Everything is written in Spanish here. All the streets are like La Cienega, La Hoya. In the police department, La PD. It's very embarrassing when people speak to me in Spanish. I don't know whether they're complimenting me or insulting me. I don't know what to say. A few weeks ago, I was in the management room. A guy came up to me and said, hi, seniors. I said, yeah, I've seen yours, too. Brought to you by the Nicoderm CQ Patch. You bring a commitment. Nicoderm CQ brings the rest. It's the best thing to happen to breakfast in a generation. Introducing New Kellogg's Honey Crunch Corn Flakes. Sweet life is calling. I'm falling for something bold. It's a kick. It's a crunch taste of honey and a heart of gold. Sweet honey and nuts baked to an incredible crunch. And under it all, the simple goodness of Kellogg's Corn Flakes, the heart of gold. Something new that never grows old. New Kellogg's Honey Crunch Corn Flakes. That's a taste of honey and a heart of gold. Here's the thing. Most long-distance plans, very complicated. Oh, yeah. But the AT&T one-way plan, very simple. How simple? Calls from home or one low rate all the time. How much? It's 15 cents a minute to anybody in America at any time. This is AT&T. That's right. One rate all the time. Exactly. Is there any time when this is not the rate? There is no time when this is not the rate. I don't get it. Am I just being unclear? No restrictions, no games. The AT&T one-way plan. You're ready to quit. Great. Now, which patch? Single-strength nicotrol? But that means one single step. If you're not comfortable with that, you may want Nicoderm CQ. CQ is a three-strength program. You start with the highest strength and gradually step down until you free yourself of nicotine. And gradual is the method doctors and pharmacists prefer. Nicoderm CQ. The power to calm, the power to comfort, the power to quit successfully. You're about to be sued by 26 people. Allstate defends over 50,000 people every year. Who's your insurance company? Being in good hands is the only place to be. My body's not like anyone else's, so I want a tampon that adjusts to fit me. Playtex Gentle Glide. Only Playtex has a double-layer design that fits the contours of my body. Nobody gives me protection like that. And the comfort I've come to expect from Playtex. I deserve that. Playtex. Comfortable protection for your body. Playtex gloves work hard to keep hands dry, protect hands even on the toughest household jobs. An extra layer makes them strong. Playtex gloves. Made strong to last long. Now at Sears, all appliances, electronics, and computers are on sale. Really? Save on great brand names like GE, Whirlpool, Sony, and Compaq. I like those names. Through Saturday the 4th at Sears. If it's all on sale, I'm all for it. Hey, lady, isn't it about time to change that Glade plug-ins refill? Refill your Glade plug-ins every 45 days to keep your home Glade fresh. Plug it in, plug it in. And now, folks, back to the movie. Folks, don't go anywhere. We'll be right back. Is your brush working as hard as you to keep your teeth and gums healthy? This one can. It's from Oral-B, the brand more dentists use themselves. It's the new Advantage, with whole bristle cleaning. Unlike ordinary brushes with smooth bristles, new Advantage has micro textured bristles designed to clean plaque with a whole bristle, not just the tip. Micro textured bristles with triple the cleaning surfaces, so each bristle works harder. The new Oral-B Advantage. Finally, a brush that works as hard as you do. I can't believe this has happened to me. I mean, the car tires are gone and the battery, the battery's gone. Everybody goes to bed tired. And you can see them change as you calm them down, and you explain to them when maybe they were feeling in a position of powerlessness. Robin, could you call a cab? That's a great feeling. When something happens to somebody else, I want to give that back. Thank you so much. I think that's what this is all about, really. Being in good hands is the only place to be. He was young and filled with hope. His voice was pure and honest. And when Elvis sang a gospel song, it came straight from his heart. Heartland Music presents the legendary gospel recordings of Elvis Presley. You'll feel Elvis' joy in every song. Twenty-six classics. Just lift your spirits as only he can. Twenty-six of Elvis' most moving performances. But remember, this special Elvis Gospel Treasury is not in store. Please stay tuned to order. Call 1-800-257-1234 to save COD charges and pay only $16.98 for cassettes or $19.98 for two CDs plus $3.50 shipping. Use your credit card or send check or money order to Elvis Gospel, P.O. Box 2889, Atlanta, Georgia. Remember, save COD charges by sending check or money order, or use your credit card. Hi, this is Rodney Dangerfield. And if you're laughing today, well, don't worry. There's a lot more tomorrow. More movies, more comedians, and more Donna. The Second Annual New Year's Comedy Cure continues all day tomorrow. Only on TBS, the Superstation. Hey, we're back. Let's see what happens. Stay tuned. The Second Annual New Year's Comedy Cure continues only on the Superstation. And by the way, folks, I have a new movie coming out. It opens January 31st. It's called Meet Wally Sparks. And I'll tell you, it's not funny. It's freaking funny. I cleaned that up, didn't I? Want some waffles? Waffles? Are you crazy? I don't have time for waffles. You do if they're Eggo Cinnamon Toast waffles. Trying. Where's the butter and syrup? Are you crazy? You don't have time for butter and syrup. They're the first waffles with a baked-in sweet cinnamon taste, so they're great even without butter and syrup. What's eating, Dad? Waffles. Are you crazy? You don't have time for waffles. Eggo Cinnamon Toast waffles. Hey, you've got time for waffles. When you go on vacation, you want to be close to the action. When you stay in Kissimmee St. Cloud, the magic of Disney World is right at your doorstep. Next door is the excitement of Disney MGM Studios. You'll find new discoveries at Epcot. Just around the corner, you'll see the wonders of SeaWorld. Hold on. You'll have an amazing adventure at Universal Studios. Stay in the center of it all at an affordable price. Kissimmee St. Cloud, the best vacation value. For your free close-up guide with discount coupons, call 1-800-358-KISS. Unlike big juice companies, we have a different idea about corporate ladders, mergers, even stockholder meetings. Morning, Ed. Hi, Bob. Florida's natural premium brand is a nut from Concentrate Orange Juice made by a co-op of growers whose only business is making juices. They own the land, they own the trees, they own the company. It's a difference you can taste. Florida's natural premium brand, Orange Juice. In years past, Jim rode in search of the magical blend of seasonings for his wife's chili for days, even months, until his wife discovered the magical blend of seasonings in Bush's Chili Magic regional favorites and now just adds meat and tomatoes for great-tasting homemade chili. No longer must Jim ride in search of seasonings. Too bad his wife didn't discover Chili Magic sooner. New Chili Magic. Four regional flavors, four magical blends of seasonings. Zeus and Roxanne communicate naturally. Your dog's talking with my dolphin. Get along perfectly. Cool fish. And when danger strikes... Bring Roxanne back into the lab to sacrifice for the good of science. They protect each other no matter what it takes. On January 24th, discover the true meaning of friendship. Miracles sometimes happen. Zeus and Roxanne. Rated PG. Starts Friday, January 24th. Ta-da! Hey, what's with the light? It's for a new country crock light. I see, so you like country crock light. Yes, it is a bright new idea, you know. Ta-da! Great taste and a light. That's country fresh taste. Yes, but with half the fat and calories. So we can enjoy it twice as much. Mmm, that is a bright idea. Yeah, one taste and you see the light. Oh, very cute. Thank you. Thank country crock light. Thank you country crock light. New ShedSpread country crock light. Light on everything but taste. And now, folks, back to the movie. Right now, let's go to Paul Gilmartin on the streets of Los Angeles. I can't believe I almost forgot. It's, you know, it's New Year's Eve and I haven't got my new tattoo for 1997. Come on. Let's go in and see if we can get something we like. I'm thinking of getting something that says 1997. You know, something that's going to help me turn over a new leaf. Can you suggest anything? Maybe a skull with a tarantula. No, I don't suggest nothing. You got one that says mom anywhere? No. No. I'm thinking about getting that on my ass. Would that fit? Call me a throwback, but they don't make flaming skulls like they used to. Now, I got a tattoo at this other place. The name of it was rubbing alcohol question mark. Is that a bad place to go? Oh, of course. Anything with a question mark. Back to more of the comedy here. House. Shake my tomato. Kung Fu fighting. Those kids were fast as lightning. Macho, macho man. I've got to be a macho man. Call now because there's no way you're going to find Seventies Dance Machine in any store. It's yours absolutely free when you subscribe to Entertainment Weekly. Entertainment Weekly is your ultimate guide to the latest movies, television, music, and more. It's your inside track on trends, styles, and personalities, in depth, intelligent, and up to the minute. Call now to retrofit your dance collection and get 30 issues of Entertainment Weekly for four monthly installments of only $5.99. That's almost 70% off the cover price. Grab your credit card and call now to get Seventies Dance Machine absolutely free. That's 24 of the hottest retro hits ever on two burning CDs. Plus, save 70% off Entertainment Weekly. Order right now and don't miss a beat. The second annual New Year's Comedy Cure continues on the Superstation. And coming up next, Bill and Ted's excellent adventure with Mr. George Carlin right here on the Superstation, so stay tuned. I'm going to show you the future of workout. No, not this. New Endurox, the natural workout supplement. Whatever your workout, whether you're a mall walker or a marathoner, Endurox has proven to build endurance, metabolize up to 43% more fat calories, even reduce muscle fatigue. You don't have to do one thing more than you're doing now, and Endurox will give you a better workout. Hey, the future is here. Try New Endurox and make it count. Bear, powerful pain relief and so much more. Also, try extra strength, Bear. Nothing stronger for everyday pain. Excuse me. Think your disposable razor shaves as comfortably as his to let SensorXL? Yeah. Well, try SensorXL. It'll change your mind. After one shave with SensorXL, we bet you don't go back. Because only SensorXL has protective microfins for extra comfort and self-adjusting blades for extra closeness. Disposables don't, and SensorXL gives more shapes per blade than any disposable. Excuse me. Take the SensorXL challenge. Bet you don't go back to disposables. Hey, I want my SensorXL back. Hey, hey. Hey, we're back. Let's see what happens.