You're watching the big, big, big movie, M.A.S.H.
We'll return after these messages.
As long as this thing's been going, we've been chasing it.
It's an obsession with us.
Check.
We've gone days without seeing anything.
It's toying with us again.
And there it is right there.
You can see its ears and its drum.
Come on, buddy.
Come on, baby.
Look, look, look out there.
Look out.
About 10 o'clock.
Stop, stop, no!
Yeah, over there.
It's a woodchuck.
Nothing, right?
It's a woodchuck.
Forget it.
Sorry.
It keeps going and going, and therefore you yourself have to keep going and going.
to send your holiday celebrations bouquet.
Blast into the holiday season with a new generation of heroes.
You're mine now.
Six cadets so young the enemy might underestimate them.
It's a drill, right?
But if they do, big mistake.
Now.
What started out as a training mission is about to become the real thing.
Let them close.
If I let them get any closer, I'm going to be shoving it up there.
Now, these cadets must pass the ultimate test or die trying.
Morgan Fairchild, Chad Everett, Star Command.
Only on UPN.
Give them music from Tower.
Hundreds of CDs are on sale for just $8.99.
Save on Lenny Kravitz, Grateful Dead, Elton John, all just $8.99,
The Beastie Boys, Van Halen, Jimmy Buffett, also just $8.99,
Patsy Klein, Peter Gabriel, and Aretha Franklin.
Carry home the savings from Tower.
Got a problem?
I could use a little help with my dating skills.
I have anxieties when I try to learn how to drive.
Get a comic.
You wanted a specialist?
You're my comic?
I'm your comic for the day.
Go on in.
Tell us your problem, whatever it is in your life,
and COD will send a comic to save the day.
If you're in L.A., Dallas, D.C., Atlanta, or Seattle,
fax or email us with your name, address, phone, age, gender,
occupation, and the problem you need a comedian to help you with.
Soon you could be saying...
Thanks, Comedy Central.
We now return to MASH, starring Elliot Gould and Donald Sutherland.
The big, big, big movie will return after these messages.
We pitted the Bronflex Integral with its integrated cutter
and pivoting head against the toughest competition we could find.
Mmm...
It's this one.
No, it's this one.
The Bronflex Integral.
For a shave that's as smooth as a baby's...
Who you know.
And if you don't agree, you've got 90 days to return it to us.
No questions asked.
No?
If you're stuck on what to get the men on your list this year,
here's a timely reminder.
Radio Shack has the gifts men are...
Attracted to.
Radio Shack, you've got questions, we've got answers.
There's a rare edition hitting the streets,
rich in added features,
and available at a price that's very good news.
The Accord Special Edition.
A car this uncommon is definitely front-page stuff.
Faster than a human bullet.
More powerful than a fish-diving berry.
Sorry about that, Berry.
Able to leap tall buildings with only minor structural damage.
Look, falling from the sky and getting smashed by a train.
It's a fish, it's a plane, it's a satellite, it's the tip.
Villains, I say to you now, knock off all that evil.
Fighting evil here at Comedy Central tonight at midnight.
Do you dig?
In 1923, Harlem Hot, Flappers Flap, and Vladimir Swarkin
invented a little something we call television.
Our country has never recovered its senses.
Now you can watch Michael Moore's critically acclaimed TV Nation
in bite-sized half-hour installments here at Comedy Central.
See all of your favorite segments like Crackers the Crime-Fighting Chicken,
the Johns of Justice, and the big-ass Communist 18-wheeler.
Hey, you, put down that book.
We're a nation of the TV, by the TV, and for the TV.
Monday through Thursday at 7.30 here on Comedy Central.
We now return to MASH, starring Elliot Gould and Donald Sutherland.
You're watching the big, big, big movie MASH.
We'll return after these messages.
It's Comedy Central's second annual benefit, Comics Come Home.
Join host Dennis Leary, most of Boston's favorite comics,
and some very special guest stars as they stand out for the Cam Neely Foundation.
Comics Come Home premieres New Year's Eve at 8.
So put your money where your mouth is, pretty boy.
Good morning.
This is your wake-up call.
And this is the new Norelco Reflex Action Razor.
Anything closer could be too close for comfort.
A blade can leave you feeling irritated.
What would possess it to do that?
Introducing the Norelco Reflex Action Razor,
a great shave with less irritation than blades.
Hey, I think I love you.
So what am I so afraid of?
I'm afraid that I'm not sure of.
A love there is no cure for.
Levi's Wide-Legged Jeans.
It's wide open.
Can you believe what's possible these days?
Conversations through your computer?
Worlds of information one click away?
And can you believe unlimited use of the world's number one
Internet online service for one low monthly fee?
That's right, no more hourly charges, don't we?
Go with number one, America Online.
Join today.
We now return to MASH,
starring Elliot Gould and Donald Sutherland.
Hi, I'm Ben Stiller, and you're at Comedy Central,
right in the middle of all those people
who happen to be screaming for me.
PCU is a film about respect.
Respect for your fellow students,
their bodies, their property, and their tonsils.
Comedy Central presents the big, big, big movie PCU,
Monday night at 8.
A blade can leave you feeling irritated.
What would possess it to do that?
Introducing the Norelco Reflex Action Razor,
a great shave with less irritation than blades.
Imagine if every time you bought something
with your American Express card
or made a purchase through an American Express financial advisor,
you helped feed someone who's hungry.
With a charge against hunger, we can all do more.
Man, does this do a number on beards.
Maverick from Norelco.
Take a breath. Notice anything?
Well, if you happen to have a tic-tac in your mouth, you would.
You notice your breath tastes fresh.
People around you would notice your fresh breath, too.
Can you breathe without a tic-tac?
Of course.
But I wouldn't recommend it.
Who needs New Year's resolutions
when you can call the psychic solution?
A better New Year awaits. Here's why.
He asked me if I, you know, had miscarriage some time ago,
and that's true. I was like, how did this guy know that?
He convinced me.
She knew I was pregnant, and he doesn't even know yet.
She's someone that I would like to talk to on a weekly basis.
You've done some traveling recently.
I see you on a beach. You're having a great time.
I just took a trip to NASA, and he said,
I see islands. You were just on an island.
I'll definitely recommend this. This is a good time.
With readings like these from the psychic solution,
there's no need for a New Year resolution.
It feels like if you're talking to your best friend,
they're like, I'm going to go home personally
and tell a lot of people about this.
I mean, it's so easy, you know, just go home and call.
It's really, really good.
And I know what she's saying is real.
They might be skeptical at first,
but a phone call is all it's going to take,
and then they'll change their minds, believe me.
Call now for your 1997 forecast,
because a great New Year is only a phone call away.
Call 1-800-867-9165.
Ow! Ow!
Yeah, what is it, Beavis?
This sucks! Can we get one of those stunt dudes?
Um, yeah. Okay.
Bring in the stunt double.
Stunt double!
And action!
We now return to MASH,
starring Elliot Gould and Donald Sutherland.
You're watching the big, big, big movie marathon
here at Comedy Central.
To a world hungry for action,
yearning for destruction,
practically dying for
groovy new catchphrases.
Spoon!
May we humbly suggest The Tick.
Fighting evil here at Comedy Central tonight at midnight.
Does it have a lubricating comfort strip?
Does it need a lubricating comfort strip?
Introducing the Norelco Reflex Action Razor,
a great shave with less irritation than blades.
This is the Bronze Super Volume Twist.
You need volume? You get volume.
Want something different?
You just twist.
The Bronze Super Volume Twist.
Now volume has a twist.
This is where fantasy and reality merge into film.
Casting calls, power lunches,
and million-dollar handshakes abound.
It's Hollywood, baby.
Home to legendary theaters and big-name studios,
where there's always a production in the works.
So you love the Tinseltown scene
but can't get onto the set?
Then get into Best Buy,
where the stars aren't on the ground,
they're on the shelves.
For top movies at low prices, it's Best Buy.
Like Toy Story, available now.
For great movies.
Come to laugh.
Don't you believe that I love you?
Oh, yes. I can see where you would.
Come to cry.
We are your family.
You're stuck with us, whether you like it or not.
Oh!
Come to terms again.
I'm looking for the love of my life.
Not that many more shopping days till Christmas.
Paramount Pictures presents
the continuing story of Terms of Endearment,
The Evening Star, rated PG-13.
Starts Christmas Day at theaters everywhere.
It's time you settled down and got married.
A little proposal to make.
A wife.
A family.
Kathy.
Maybe a job.
Here, drink something.
Thanks.
Bitter beer face.
Get protection against bitter beer.
Drink Keystone, America's least bitter beer.
So there's never a bad taste, never a bitter face.
We can still date other people, Ryan.
Stop making faces.
Drink Keystone.
DCU, Monday night at 8.
How you doing? Dennis Leary here getting ready for another
Commerce Come Home.
It's a good cause.
You know, the Neely Foundation, named for my good friend,
Cam Neely.
Now retired hockey star.
We're going to have a lot of fun this year, a lot of laughs.
More great comedians and I think you're going to enjoy it.
So please call up and make a donation.
Matter of fact, why don't you just call Cam directly
because he's got nothing but time on his hands nowadays.
Real funny, funny, man.
I was just kidding because it was a thing.
Put some hockey here or what?
Watch Commerce Come Home, premiering New Year's Eve at 8.
Get away from me, man.
Guys.
We now return to MASH, starring Elliot Gould and Donald Sutherland.
The big, big, big movie will return after these messages.
Picture Robert Downey Jr. plus 50 pounds,
Chris O'Donnell on a bad hair day,
Jeremy Piven as the quintessential 45-year-old college student,
and David Spade as, well, David Spade.
Open up, sucko.
All this plus a spirited student body.
George Clinton and Parliament Funkadelic at one swinging party.
And speaking of partying, there's even a cameo by Ted Kennedy.
Excellent bod.
See political correctness finally get what's coming to it.
Don't miss the big, big, big movie, PCU, Monday night at 8.
TV from Phillips Magnavox.
The power of the Internet now on your own television.
This is the Bronze Supervolume Twist.
You need volume, you get volume.
Want something different?
You just twist.
The Bronze Supervolume Twist.
Now volume has a twist.
There's a rare edition hitting the streets,
rich in added features,
and available at a price that's very good news.
The Accord Special Edition.
A car this uncommon is definitely front-page stuff.
As long as this thing's been going, we've been chasing it.
It's an obsession with us.
Chuck, we've gone days without seeing anything.
It's toying with us again.
And there it is right there.
You can see its ears and its drum.
Come on, buddy.
Come on, baby.
Look, look, look out there.
Look out, about 10 o'clock.
Stop, stop, stop!
Over there.
It's a woodchuck.
Nothing, right?
It's a woodchuck, forget it.
Sorry.
It just keeps going and going,
and therefore you yourself have to keep going and going.
Your mission is to find the perfect gift.
If they're expecting the impossible,
now you can give it to them.
Tom Cruise, Mission Impossible, rated PG-13.
The perfect gift.
Buy it today, where videocassettes are sold.
We now return to MASH, starring Elliot Gould and Donald Sutherland.
You're watching the big, big, big movie marathon here at Comedy Central.
Hi, I'm Anthony Clark, and I'm here to remind you,
you're watching Comedy Central.
It's Comedy Central's second annual benefit, Comics Come Home.
Joint host Dennis Leary, most of Boston's favorite comics,
and some very special guest stars as a standout for the Cam Neely Foundation.
Watch Comics Come Home premiering New Year's Eve at 8,
so put your money where your mouth is, pretty boy.
Good morning.
This is your wake-up call.
And this is the new Norelco Reflex Action Razor,
a great shave with less irritation than blades.
This Christmas, if you really want to make someone happy,
send the magnificent FTD Holiday Celebrations Bouquet.
It's the perfect holiday gift from FTD, America's favorite florist.
Because if there's one thing you can be sure of,
we at FTD want to make them happy, too.
See your professional FTD florist or call 1-800-SEND-FTD-NOW
to send your Holiday Celebrations Bouquet.
Announcing the Adventure Discovered sweepstakes.
I've been shopping, big time.
It's all right here on my Discover Card statement.
Use your Discover Card, and you could win everything on Boyd Mattson's statement.
Atagonia. It's a treat.
Two tickets on American. My new Jeep.
Plus you'll join him on a National Geographic filming expedition.
It's the grand prize in the Adventure Discovered sweepstakes.
Well, I've done my shopping. Have you?
It pays to discover. Watch National Geographic Explorer on TBS.
Blast into the holiday season with a new generation of heroes.
You're mine now.
Six cadets so young the enemy might underestimate them.
It's a drill, right?
But if they do, big mistake now.
What started out as a training mission is about to become the real thing.
Let them close.
If I let them get any closer, I'm gonna be shoving it up their...
Now these cadets must pass the ultimate test or die trying.
Morgan Fairchild, Chad Everett, Star Command.
Only on UPM.
Your mission is to find the perfect gift.
If they're expecting the impossible, now you can give it to them.
Don Cruz, Mission Impossible, rated PG-13.
The perfect gift. Buy it today, where videocassettes are sold.
We now return to MASH, starring Elliot Gould and Donald Sutherland.
You're watching the big, big, big movie marathon here at Comedy Central.
Behind this door are holiday gifts from hell.
This isn't a gift. It's an insult. And I know insults.
Don't get mad. Get better gifts. Enter Comedy Central's Return Central Sweepstakes.
Tell us the worst holiday gift you ever got.
And in exchange, you could win some really cool prizes.
Like a Tiger Shark Monte Carlo 770, a gift certificate from Tower Records,
and a duffel bag full of gifts from Duracell.
Plus our paid spokesman, Don Rickles, will tell off your rotten gift giver, but good.
To enter, print your name, age, address, day and evening phone numbers,
and nightmare gift on a postcard,
and mail to the Return Central Sweepstakes PO Box 4016 Grand Rapids, Minnesota 55745.
Or access our website at ComedyCentral.com.
Sweepstakes ends December 22nd.
Aunt Thelma, you'll pay for this.
More and more people are discovering that Radio Shack has exactly what kids want for the holidays,
including truckloads of RC cars.
Whether you want digital proportional steering, four-wheel drive or turbo features,
just ask the RC car experts at Radio Shack.
How do they get to be such experts?
They do their homework.
Radio Shack, you've got questions, we've got answers.
There's a rare edition hitting the streets,
rich in added features,
and available at a price that's very good news.
The Accord Special Edition.
A car this uncommon is definitely front-page stuff.
Levi's wide-leg jeans.
It's wide open.
Faster than a human bullet.
More powerful than a fish-diving berry.
Sorry about that, Barry.
Able to eat tall buildings with only minor structural damage.
Look, falling from the sky and getting smashed by a train.
It's a fish. It's a plane. It's a satellite. It's the tip.
Villains, I say to you now, knock off all that evil.
Fighting evil here at Comedy Central tonight at midnight.
Do you dig?
Monday through Thursday at 730, here on Comedy Central.
We now return to MASH, starring Elliot Gould and Donald Sutherland.
Hi, I'm Mark Currie, and you're watching Comedy Central.
Watch it, because it's funny.
To a world hungry for action, yearning for destruction,
practically dying for groovy new catchphrases.
Spoon!
May we humbly suggest the Tick.
Fighting evil here at Comedy Central tonight at midnight.
Send e-mail, get sports scores, find dinosaurs.
Is something missing? Exactly.
The computer. Web TV from Phillips Magnavox.
The Internet now on your television at an affordable price.
Free tabloid reporters are about to get the story of the century.
Have you ever met an angel?
Yeah, once.
You're kidding.
Yes, I am.
And the shock of a lifetime.
Would you mind if I touched?
Oh.
Hey.
Hey, you too.
I'm a writer too.
Oh.
Really, what did you write?
Psalm 85, Michael.
I thought angels were cleaner.
I'm not that kind of angel.
Rated PG, starts Christmas Day.
You know, I have been trying to explain this new AT&T one-rate plan.
Hey, I am tired of all these little phone companies, people you never heard of.
No, this is AT&T.
They say big discounts, but who can tell with all the restrictions?
No restrictions, calls from home, one low rate, all the time.
Yeah, but only to certain people or certain times.
No, 15 cents a minute to anybody in America, anytime.
And I get this from AT&T?
Yes.
I don't know.
I thought I was doing so well.
No restrictions, no games.
The AT&T one-rate plan.
Your day started at 4.30 a.m.
You diced, sliced, minced, mashed, steamed, stewed and baked, all for this one special moment.
Could you pass the stuffing, please?
Too bad you were too tired to be a part of it.
This year, let Boston Market prepare your holiday meal.
We've got Boston Hearth hams glazed with honey, rotisserie turkey breasts
and side dishes like mashed potatoes made from scratch.
Boston Market, because you deserve a holiday.
What's more amazing than the places you can go on the Internet?
The fact that you don't need a computer to get there.
Web TV from Phillips Magnavox.
The Internet now on your television at an affordable price.
We now return to MASH, starring Elliot Gould and Donald Sutherland.
You're watching the big, big, big movie MASH.
We'll return after these messages.
Good morning.
This is your wake-up call.
And this is the new Norelco Reflex Action Razor.
Anything closer could be too close for comfort.
It has a lubricating comfort strip,
and for a lot of guys, that's not much comfort.
Introducing the Norelco Reflex Action Razor,
a great shave with less irritation than blades.
Hey, I think I love you, so what am I so afraid of?
I'm afraid that I'm not sure of a love there is no cure for.
Levi's wide-leg jeans.
It's wide open.
If you got a beard, we've got your number.
The adjustable Maverick Beard and Mustache Trimmer,
with six different settings.
Man, does this do a number on beards.
Maverick from Norelco.
Take a breath.
Notice anything?
Well, if you happen to have a tic-tac in your mouth, you would.
You notice your breath tastes fresh.
People around you would notice your fresh breath, too.
Can you breathe without a tic-tac?
Of course, but I wouldn't recommend it.
The psychic solution doesn't want you to be fooled by imitators.
Here, all quality psychics speak for themselves.
The other networks can only promise what we deliver.
He told me about something that just happened two days ago,
which was really, really strange.
You've done some traveling recently.
I see you on a beach.
You're having a great time.
I just took a trip to NASA, and he said, I see islands.
You were just on an island.
I'll definitely recommend this.
This is a good time.
He asked me if I, you know, had miscarriage some time ago,
and that's true.
I was like, how did this guy know that?
He convinced me.
She told me something that was going to happen to me
is dealing with money, and she was right.
And I feel good about that.
And I know what she's saying is real.
She saw a career change before I told her.
She was right on the money, right off the bat.
He just said it.
I didn't have to say nothing.
He just brought it to the teeth.
Can I get the number I want to call now when I get home?
You heard it yourself, now try it yourself.
Get your real reading from RealPsychics.
Make the free call now.
Call 1-800-929 for free.
It's Nick at Night's 1996 Classic TV Countdown,
the eighth annual Gala presentation,
a night of 100 stars,
with your host, America's Countdown King, Casey Kasem.
It's the perfect way to ring in the new year,
the best of Nick at Night,
and our new 24-hour network, TV Land.
Watch Nick at Night's 1996 Classic TV Countdown,
New Year's Day starting at noon, 11 Central,
only on Nick at Night.
We now return to MASH,
starring Elliot Gould and Donald Sutherland.
You're watching the Big, Big, Big Movie Marathon
here at Comedy Central.
We pitted the brawn flex integral
against the toughest competition we could find.
What's this one?
For a shave that's as smooth as a baby's...
You know.
If you don't agree, you've got 90 days to return it.
Can you imagine the end of hourly charges?
Can you imagine unlimited access
to millions and millions of people all over the world?
Can you imagine unlimited access to everything on the Internet
and a whole lot more?
Well, you don't have to imagine anymore,
because now you can have unlimited use
of the world's number one Internet online service
for one low monthly fee.
That's right, no more hourly charges.
Don't wait.
Go with number one, America Online.
Join today.
Once upon a time, we were a family.
Some memories never fade.
I remember lots of hugs. Mom was big on hugs.
Some battles never die.
Trap!
And one woman...
You're suffocating me!
...has endured it all.
You mind aging?
No, because I've done it so well.
Paramount Pictures presents
the continuing story of Terms of Endearment.
The Evening Star, rated PG-13,
starts Christmas Day only in theaters.
Like, I'm in a bikini,
and he says I'm not fully clothed,
or my T-shirt's too see-through,
and I say, look, when I met you,
I had a skirt on up to here,
and he said, but that was okay,
because I didn't know you then.
Be body, be soul, just be.
CKB, the fragrance for people.
Calvin Klein.
Fancy wrapping isn't necessary
when you're giving the world's finest ice cream,
but we did it anyway.
Haagen-Dazs, creamy, smooth, delicious.
It makes a really cool gift for the holidays.
Haagen-Dazs, it's just perfect.
Picture Robert Downey Jr. plus 50 pounds.
Chris O'Donnell on a bad hair day.
Jeremy Piven as the quintessential
45-year-old college student.
And David Spade as, well, David Spade.
Open up, sucko!
All this plus a spirited student body.
George Clinton and Parliament Funkadelic
at one swinging party.
And speaking of partying,
there's even a cameo by Ted Kennedy.
Excellent butt!
See, political correctness
finally get what's coming to it.
Don't miss the big, big, big movie, PCU,
Monday night at 8.
How you doing? Dennis Leary here,
getting ready for another Commerce Come Home.
It's a good cause.
You know, the Neely Foundation,
named for my good friend, Cam Neely.
Now retired hockey star.
We're gonna have a lot of fun this year,
a lot of laughs, more great comedians,
and I think you're gonna enjoy it.
So please call up and make a donation.
Matter of fact, why don't you just call Cam directly,
because he's got nothing but time on his hands nowadays.
Real funny, funny, man.
Just kidding, because it was a thing.
Put some hockey here or what?
Watch Commerce Come Home premiering
New Year's Eve at 8.
Get away from me, man.
Guys.
We now return to MASH,
starring Elliot Gould and Donald Sutherland.
Hi, my name's Bob Goldthwait,
and I'm a professional entertainer.
You're watching Comedy Central.
PCU is a film about respect.
Respect for your fellow students.
Hey, butlicks!
Their bodies, their property,
and their tonsils.
Comedy Central presents the big, big, big movie, PCU,
Monday night at 8.
We pitted the Bronze Flex Integral
with its integrated cutter and pivoting head
against the toughest competition we could find.
Mmm...
It's this one.
No, it's this one.
The Bronze Flex Integral.
For a shave that's as smooth as a baby's...
Who you know.
And if you don't agree,
you've got 90 days to return it to us.
No questions asked.
No.
Oh, how cute!
Oh, let's get it for Mom.
No.
She always said she wanted one.
Yeah.
She could take it anywhere.
They're very good protection.
Maybe.
This holiday season,
get Mom a gift she'll adore.
A cellular phone from Radio Shack.
We'll answer all your questions
and sign you up right on the spot.
Activation's no problem either.
Look, Dad, it lights you.
Radio Shack.
You've got questions, we've got answers.
Now get $50 of free airtime
with your new cellular phone from Radio Shack.
Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed
Imagine if every time you bought something
with your American Express card
or made a purchase
through an American Express financial advisor,
you helped feed someone who's hungry.
With a charge against hunger,
we can all do more.
We now return to MASH,
starring Elliot Gould and Donald Sutherland.
You're watching the big, big, big movie marathon
here at Comedy Central.
Your mission is to find the perfect gift.
If they're expecting the impossible,
now you can give it to them.
Tom Cruise, Mission Impossible, rated PG-13.
The perfect gift.
Buy it today, where videocassettes are sold.
Take a breath.
Notice anything?
Well, if you happen to have a tick-tack
in your mouth, you would.
You notice your breath tastes fresh.
People around you would notice your fresh breath, too.
Can you breathe without a tick-tack?
Of course.
But I wouldn't recommend it.
We like Neal Smith mean.
So we get his mother-in-law to call him
Collect before each game,
without using 1-800-Collect.
Could've saved you some serious cash, Neal.
1-800-Collect.
Save the people you call up to 44%.
It has a lubricating comfort strip.
And for a lot of guys, that's not much comfort.
Introducing the Norelco Reflex Action Razor.
A great shave with less irritation than blades.
Faster than a human bullet!
More powerful than a fish-guiding berry!
Sorry about that, Berry.
Able to lead tall buildings with only minor structural damage.
Look, falling from the sky and getting smashed by a train.
It's a fish! It's a plane! It's a satellite!
It's the tick!
Villains, I say to you now,
knock up all that evil!
Fighting evil here at Comedy Central tonight at midnight.
Do you dig?
In 1923, Harlem Hot, Flappers Flat,
and Vladimir Swarkin invented a little something we call television.
Our country has never recovered its senses.
Now you can watch Michael Moore's critically acclaimed TV nation
in bite-sized half-hour installments here at Comedy Central.
See all of your favorite segments like
Crackers the Crime-Fighting Chicken,
the Johns of Justice,
and the big-ass Communist 18-wheeler.
Hey, you, put down that book.
We're a nation of the TV, by the TV, and for the TV.
Monday through Thursday at 730 here on Comedy Central.
And now, the conclusion of MASH.
Woody and Diane are on Comedy Central.
Jesus, what is this?
Spying on their neighbors.
Where is this guy at 1.30 in the morning?
Chasing them all around town.
Do you see that?
And dragging their other famous friends into it.
To me, it's obvious.
How obvious?
Obvious he's committed the perfect murder.
What else are people with way too much time on their hands supposed to do?
I'm gonna break this thing wide open.
Catch Manhattan Murder Mystery next here at Comedy Central.
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I'm glad you could come. I've heard so much about you.
Oh, Paula.
Yeah.
Mind if I take off my shoes?
No, no, not at all.
Mind if I try a little of that?
Oh, no, go right ahead.
Great meal.
Oh.
Mind if I watch a little TV?
Uh, no. No problem.
You're always at home with Paula.