Jam. Jam. Jam.
Jam. Okay, you're mine now. What would you do if the pet you wanted most? Did you
run away from the zoo or the circus? Turned out to be America's most wanted.
He's cute. Look at that little monkey. He's cuddly. He's a klepto. Don't kiss up to me
now. Monkey trouble. Okay, pal. Under arrest. Rated PG. Starts Friday, March 18th.
Common courtesy. It's coming back. Take collect calls. Instead of zero, now you
can dial 1-800-COLLECT. Save the people you call up 44%. Question, who is the
fossil that is still gonna dial zero? Hey, dude, I could have saved you some cash on this call, but what do I care?
We're getting the band back together. Hey, slick, you could have spoken for a lot
less by dialing 1-800-COLLECT. Even to Seattle. Thanks, phone dude.
If you don't want your fish swimming in these waters, try the world's greatest
tuna sandwich at Subway. Chunk-like tuna, fresh baked bread, and all your favorite
fixings. And now the 6-inch tuna sub's just $1.99. So it's their way or
Subway, the place where fresh is the taste. Magic Johnson takes you inside the
homes and private lives of his most famous friends for an hour of candid
interviews. Catch Whoopi Goldberg. It's hard for people to let you be who you are.
Roseanne and Tom Arnold. Tell me about the first time you guys had sex. Well, it hasn't happened yet.
Garth Brooks. I really, really, really want people to understand what I do. And
Shaquille O'Neal. I ain't no punk. So when I get the ball, I just dunk. That's why I think I play me.
101. With Magic Johnson, Tuesday at 8, 7 Central. On Fox.
Fox has taken you to some provocative places, but none will be as unforgettable
as South Central. A new series coming in April.
I just know I'm good. Real good. Lightning Jack. He talks big. His partner
doesn't talk at all. And the wildest comedy to ever come out of the West.
Paul Hogan. Cuba Gooding Jr. Lightning Jack. You're gonna have to suck the
poison out. Rated PG-13. Starts Friday at theaters everywhere. Our barbecue chicken
sandwich already has so many fans, it's at KFC to stay. Folks can't get enough of
those strips of chicken smothered in a tangy honey barbecue sauce. Of course, the
introductory $1.49 price makes it really tempting. Plus $1.49 barbecue chicken
sandwich forever. The sandwich is here to stay, but the $1.49 is for a limited time.
We are KFC. We do chicken right. Freeze, and nobody gets hurt.
From now on. When it's time to get tough on crime, it's time for Lieutenant Frank
Drebin. You might end up dead. You might end up dead is my middle name. What about
Jay? I don't know the middle name. Naked Gun 33 and 1 3rd. The final insult. Rated
PG-13. Starts Friday March 18th at theaters everywhere. You can see when a
man has the best shave. He uses Gillette sensor. He adds Gillette shaving gel, the
best gel ever, and Gillette aftershave skin conditioner for maximum comfort.
Together with sensor, there's no better shave in the world.
When a crime wave hits Sinbad's neighborhood, Sinbad and Clarence
fight back. The Sinbad Show. An all-new episode coming up next.
If you think his movie's outrageous, wait till you see Jim Carrey on In Living
Color. I'm Dr. Jack Kevorkian. Catch an all-new episode to Out at 9, 8 Central.
Friday. Way to get a load of me. A heavy metal mat man is on the loose. Get down.
Briscoe County. Can Briscoe send him to the scrap heap or will County get cut
down to size? Gonna be a real side-splitting experience. On an all-new
Briscoe County, Jr. Friday at 8, 7 Central.
Just now I'm good. Real good. Lightning Jack. He talks big. His partner doesn't
talk at all. In the wildest comedy to ever come out of the West. Paul Hogan.
Cuba Gooding, Jr. Lightning Jack. Ow. You're gonna have to suck the poison out.
Rated PG-13. Now playing at theaters everywhere.
We should have gotten a pizza. Now $1 gets you unlimited toppings at Little
Caesar's when you buy two pizzas for $8.99. Pizza, pizza. Hey there, tubeheads, wake
up. You know that $49.95 check that Granny sent you? You know that'll get you
your very own Nintendo Entertainment System. Get one and you can play the new
Mega Man 6 and battle evil robots. Stop watching those wig commercials. I can
even shower with it. And there's Swordless Revenge, Star Tropics 2 where you battle
Soda, the man with no face. No more mommy soaps for you. As two drops fall. So, thank
Granny. Cash the checks and get the NES. You have watched too much TV already.
What do you do after you introduce the first compact flair side on the planet?
You make it even bigger splash. Announcing the Ford Ranger splash super
cab. Now the cool original also comes in a more spacious rendition. The 1994 Ford
Ranger splash and splash super cab. Now how big a splash you make is up to you.
Another spy scandal shocks the nation. You know the man in this picture. When Al
discovers his neighbors a double agent. Hey guys, what's up? Nothing. Or as they say in the
Kremlin, nip. Will he turn his best friend in for a $50,000 reward? It's not like
he's gonna come through the window and get you. And all new Married with Children. Then
you're going to the movies with George. What will I do? Well, bro, because you can suck
in that guts so we can get out of here.