The Simpsons is brought to you by 3DO, the most advanced home gaming system in the universe.
What are you playing with?
If you're not playing on a 3DO system,
what are you playing with?
Presenting 3DO,
the most advanced home gaming system in the universe.
It's time to put away your toys.
Get a free John Madden football hand crash and burn when you buy a 3DO system.
Research has demonstrated that the air-rejected effect of carbohydrates...
No other beverage has been proven more effective than Gatorade.
Consuming Gatorade during exercise has been shown...
Absorb 30% faster than water.
Gatorade contains the optimal balance of carbohydrates and...
No other beverage has been proven more effective than replacing...
Nothing squashes your deep-down body thirst better.
Scientifically tested, athletically proven.
Only Gatorade Thirst Quencher is lit with technology...
for that deep-down body thirst.
Come out to play!
The critics are calling with honors, wonderful, funny, heartwarming, entertaining,
thoughtful, and evocative.
Joe Pesci is magnificent.
A must-see, with honors, rated PG-13.
Starts Friday, April 29th.
It's Red Lobster's Island Seafood Carnival.
Enjoy Hawaiian shrimp, tender Caribbean tails,
for one of many delicious island dinners, starting at $8.99.
But hurry...
At the Island Seafood Carnival!
Only at Red Lobster.
Martin Lawrence will be there.
Tisha Campbell will be there.
Queen Latifah will be there.
The mother of house pardons, man.
When kids play throw the wildest, funniest party of the year.
Catch the Network Television premiere.
See ya!
One more of House Party 2, Monday at 8, 7 Central on Fox.
Are you comfortable in there, Luke Perry?
You know, I've been shot out of a lot of cannons in my day,
but it's nothing like your first time.
Congratulations to the Simpsons on their 100th episode.
The Simpsons' 100th episode celebration continues.
Jam.
To make a magnificent thin crust pizza at home,
you don't have to be a trained professional.
Try new bubbly thin crust.
Aged Parmesan.
Imported olive oil.
And a touch of garlic baked right in.
Top as you wish.
And in just eight minutes,
you'll have a thin, crispy taste of Italian freshness.
Forget those expensive crust tossing lessons.
Be a true pizza gourmet with the new bubbly thin crust tonight.
MGM presents Dale Carvey.
You have amnesia.
In a truly unforgettable comedy.
Hey, my dog.
Rusty.
Clean Slate, rated PG-13.
Starts Friday, May 6th.
A new spirit lives in Santa Fe.
In a bike, half mountain, half road.
It's 15-speed index shifting gives Santa Fe the power to move you
wherever your spirit leads.
The new Santa Fe from Huffy, America's first choice.
When Luther Vandross meets his blind date, things get ugly.
I've been kissing your pitches, sir.
You look like you've been kissing a weed whacker.
Catch a full hour of In Living Color tonight.
Al goes to the mountain to discover the true meaning of life.
Well, you must be Iron Head Haynes.
And you must be some idiot that don't know there's a road
on the other side of this mountain.
And returns with 10 commandments for the working man.
Rule number one, it's okay to call hooters, knockers,
and sometimes snack trades.
Waylon Jennings guests on an epic Married with Children Sunday.
A new wind is rising.
Bringing change.
Bringing the all new Ford Windstar.
A totally new minivan.
Windstar is the only minivan that combines standard dual airbags,
five mile an hour bumpers, and four wheel anti-lock brakes.
Plus, it meets all passenger car safety standards.
It's safety that takes the minivan in a whole new direction.
The all new front wheel drive Ford Windstar.
The future of minivans begins today.
Now I'd like to turn things over to our grand marshal, Mr. Leonard Nimoy.
To everyone in the sleepy town of Springfield.
Weren't you one of the little rascals?
May you live long and prosper.
The Simpsons 100th episode celebration continues.
Yo, Mark Dalby.
Ah, what can I do for ya?
So that's your hot new Grand Am V6 down there.
Looks fun, Mark.
Pontiac's a blast to drive already.
But it also makes a lot of sense.
Really?
Prices on imports like a Gordon Camry are way up.
And Pontiac Grand Am's holding the line.
Thousands less.
With airbag and ABS standard.
Well, shoot.
Don't mind if I do.
Hey, nice talking to you, man.
Whoa.
We are driving excitement, Pontiac.
Before Nintendo came out with Super Metroid,
we wanted to make sure it was the most intense Metroid battle ever.
So we thought we'd see how Killer here would fare against it.
Ready, boy?
That's 24 megs worth of weapons, worlds, and weirdos old Killer's up against
Nintendo's biggest game ever.
He's a big boy.
He can handle it.
Well, let's see how he did.
Ship it.
Super Metroid.
Only on the Super NES.
I was speeding up Route 7 with seven seven-footers with severe appetite.
So I suggested Taco Bell, seven-layer burritos.
Just 99 cents.
But several saw something more substantial.
Serendipity, baby.
Now those same seven sensationally sumptuous layers are served with
succulent chicken or seasoned beef.
Dustin and City.
They were so excited that the new chicken or beef seven-layer burritos
indeed now had eight.
That's just what they did.
Eight.
For some water, baby.
The Simpsons celebration continues.
It ain't over till a fat lady sings.
Is that one fat enough for your son?
With the very first episode of The Simpsons coming up next.
Martin and Gina are late for their engagement party.
You know how long it takes you to put on your makeup, correction,
go through metamorphosis.
But when they get into a fight.
I'm not hearing you.
Their wedding could go down the drain.
You started it.
How did I start it?
Talking about I'm short, Gina.
When I sit on the toilet, my legs swing.
And all new Martin.
Then everyone's secrets are coming out.
When Kyle reaches his romantic peak, my brother stutters.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
And all new living single.
It all happens Sunday starting at 8, 7 Central.
Hello, Kelsey Grammer here.
You have such a beautiful voice.
Guilty as charged.
Felicitations to the people who bring The Simpsons to life.
May you make a hundred more.
The Simpsons hundredth episode celebration continues.
This is an Eagle Vision ESI.
A sophisticated sports sedan that can give the imports a run for their money
for less than $20,000.
Let the race begin.
Legend has it that Willis Reed came out for the pro record one day, right?
And Willis Reed was posting up Helicopter Hurn.
Willis Reed got the ball, did a drop step into the paint.
You know, the three seconds.
Pumped on Helicopter Hurn.
Helicopter Hurn jumped up.
Willis Reed was waiting for Helicopter Hurn to come back down
so he could take his shot.
Obviously, you know, a good pro move.
You wait for the man to come down.
You try to draw the foul.
Helicopter Hurn never came back down.
Welcome to the Mazda Exceptional sales debate.
Get exceptional deals on the Mazda 626 with loads of standard features
and an MSRP starting $1,500 less than a comparably equipped Hamry DX.
Lease a 626 DX for $199 a month with just $750 down.
But hurry, leases like this on 626 won't last long.
See your Mazda dealer today.
Mazda, it just feels right.
When uninvited bad guys drop in on the three ninjas...
Let's murder life.
Kick into action.
Kick off the excitement.
I'm seeing this again.
Kick butt on an evil warlord.
Let's light these fat boys up.
I could take them.
And have the time of their lives.
Three ninjas kick back.
Let's get out of here while we're still standing.
Rated BG.
Starts Friday, May 6th at a theater near you.
Those two all-beef panties.
Thomas, Thomas, Thomas and Thomas, I'll connect you.
That special sauce?
Thomas and sons, one moment.
McDonald's Big Mac.
Thomas says...
It's so tempting.
Tom!
What you want is what you get at McDonald's today.
Hi, Judy, any calls?
Things will pick up after lunch.
All right, you little chocolate, fall in.
Who's made of delicious milk chocolate?
We are, sir.
I can't hear you.
Who's made of rich, delicious, absolutely unique milk chocolate?
We are, sir.
And who's covered with a thin colorful candy shell?
We are, sir.
So the milk chocolate?
Melt in your mouth, not in your hands, sir.
Keep it up and you'll earn those M's.
We have to go march mile after mile
To make you open your head and smile.
There's nothing like the sound of chocolate on the march.
See some of television's funniest moments in one hilarious special.
Martin Short hosts TV's all-time classic comedy, Sunday at 7, 6 Central.
Hi, Danny DeVito here to congratulate the Simpsons on their 100th show.
Uncle Herb, can I sit over the side?
Hock your brains out.
Thank God I'm not related to them in real life.
The Simpsons' 100th episode celebration continues.
What time will my daughter be home?
The passive type probably plays Nintendo.
What time will my daughter be home?
Somewhere between 10 and 2.
The aggressive type probably plays Sega.
What time will my daughter be home?
You want her back?
And the other type definitely plays 3DO, the most advanced home gaming system in the universe.
Get a free John Madden football and crashing burn when you buy a 3DO system.
There's no stealing of thunder.
No, can't be contained.
You fill me with wonder and cool me off like rain.
You're a part of me.
That's a part of me.
Actually, I'm just a lonely melody.
Together we, we are harmony.
Dr. Pepper, you're a part of me.
One thing about juniors, they don't stay junior for long.
So one thing you'll notice at Burger King is the new Whopper Junior has grown too.
Now it's got 50% more beef than before.
More of that one great flame-broiled taste.
And now it's just 99 cents every day.
There's just one place to get that taste.
Burger King.
With a bigger 99 cent Whopper Junior at Burger King.
We may not be the world's number one fast food place.
It just tastes that way.
Don't just watch television.
Experience it as 7-Eleven presents Fox-O-Rama.
Two nights of outrageous interactive comedy events.
Party, party, party.
Featuring living single in AromaVision.
And married with children in 3D.
Plus the wildest nerds movie ever in AromaVision and 3D.
Just pick up a Fox-O-Rama kit available exclusively at participating 7-Elevens.
Then join in the fun with host Al Bundy.
Let's rock.
Fox-O-Rama.
Beginning Sunday, May 8th.
Tonight, on the 10 o'clock news, we'll tell you how a flight of fun ended in a deadly fireball.
Then, take cover.
It's Martin Lawrence Uncensored.
Discover what everyone's afraid you'll hear.
Plus, find out the incredible reason Michael Jackson's come out of hiding for the first time.
Watch the 10 o'clock news on Fox 5 tonight.
Take two aspirins and call your therapist.
What happens when you can't live without them?
Tomorrow on Good Day New York, starting at 5.55.
It's a part of my game that I've got down.
Repetition and hard work.
And the knowledge that anybody my size, I cook them.
I cook them.
I take them to school.
If he's my size, I feel like we're at least equal.
No matter where you've gone, where you've been.
If he's my size, I'm gonna cook him.
He can't stop me.
Hi, I'm Joe Montagna, wishing the Simpsons all the best on their 100th episode.
I am thrilled.
As Fat Tony would say,
Thanks for making me an offer I couldn't refuse.
The Simpsons 100th episode celebration continues.
Harry, don't touch the girls, okay?
Don't touch the bangs.
Just a little off the sides.
Harry, just a little off the top.
Sometimes you just need a Milky Way with wholesome milk, creamy caramel, and double thick chocolate.
Nothing smooths your way so deliciously from one part of life to the next.
Harry, just a little off the top.
Day after day, nothing smooths your way like a Milky Way.
Life is filled with choices.
Some are momentous, and some are even meant to last a lifetime.
On the other hand, which orange juice you choose is a simple choice.
Minute-made premium choice.
Because it gets its premium taste from only the choicest oranges,
maybe it's not as important as choosing your spouse,
although you will be waking up to it every morning.
Minute-made premium choice.
A simply delicious choice.
It's time to drop everything and rush to pay less.
Why, is the whole store on sale?
Yes, even leather.
Yeah, but how much can I save, like half?
Exactly.
Buy one pair, get the second pair half price.
So I can pick out any pair I want.
Your choice.
And get a pair for her for half price.
Right.
But the pay less, buy one pair, get a second pair for half price sale, and soon.
So hurry.
Watch me.
Are you tired of the same old chicken?
Now Subway has a delicious alternative.
Our original turkey breast sub.
It's layers of oven roasted turkey piled high on fresh baked bread with all the trimmings.
All for just $1.99 for limited time at Subway.
Tonight, when Luther Vandross meets his blind date, it won't be pretty.
Are you kissing your pictures, sir?
You look like you've been kissing a weed whacker.
And Jim Carrey is the guidance counselor from hell.
What about the Marines, son?
I'm just suggesting that because you seem a little poopy to me.
A little sweet in the pants, you know what I mean?
A full hour of In Living Color is next.
Look, it's Tony Bennett.
I'd like to take this moment to sing the praises of the Simpsons.
Hey, good to see you.
Congratulations on your 100th show.
The Simpsons 100th episode celebration continues.