Thank you.
It was a gala affair here tonight at the Siena Museum with an A-list crowd in attendance, including Senator Hilary Crawford.
Senator Crawford described tonight's launch as a remarkable success.
She also went on to pay tribute to the Museum's staff, in particular senior curators Warren Lincoln, Jeremy Townsend and Lauren Wagner.
I'm joined now by Lauren Wagner. Congratulations, Lauren.
Thank you, Cherie.
Lauren, what do you think is the most important thing you've learnt in bringing this project to fruition?
Well, to be honest with you, Cherie, apart from the logistic and physical challenges in bringing together an exhibition of this size and nature,
the most contributing factor to its success has been the way our entire team worked together and the way in which we communicated with each other.
We all know that for people to work effectively, they must be able to communicate well.
However, workplaces are often made up of people from very different backgrounds and experiences.
And while we can't change people's personalities, we can teach everyone how to communicate assertively.
Speaking of which, here she is.
Good morning, everybody.
Good morning.
Oh, beautiful.
Love you.
What's this?
Can I have your autograph?
Stop it, you guys.
We did a great job with the press last night, Lauren.
You sure did. Do you know that we were the lead story in four out of the five major news stations?
We even made CNN.
And let's not forget, our sponsorship funding is now in the bank, which means our exhibit is going on a tour of 42 cities across the country.
We did a terrific job. We really should be proud of ourselves.
Absolutely.
Everybody, I'd like to propose a toast to Peter, who taught us that different personalities can work together,
so long as they're assertive.
It wasn't always this easy, though.
Let's go back and see how this team overcame some potentially disastrous communication problems to get where they are today.
You know, I didn't get out of here until seven o'clock again last night. I'm sick of it.
Warren disappears as soon as the clock strikes five, and I'm the only one left to lock up every night.
I mean, I've got a life, too, you know.
Then Peter lands me with another viability report, and Greg, well, he reads me the riot act about missing the deadline for the middle school tour.
I just don't know what they expect from us around here sometimes.
Good morning, Warren.
Yeah, I guess.
What's the matter?
That idiot from the art gallery parked in my spot again. Third time this week.
If it happens again, I'm gonna punch him in the nose and have his car towed.
Now, that would be interesting.
That's a bit harsh, don't you think, Warren? Why don't you try telling him how you feel?
Oh, yeah, like, that'd work really well, wouldn't it?
Jeremy, Greg and I were discussing the possibility of putting the Tyrannosaurus Rex in the foyer for the opening. How do you feel about that?
Well, I think...
It's a stupid idea.
Why is that, Warren?
Because it's not secure. If anything happens to Rex, it's not like we can go out and buy another one, now is it?
Yeah, I see your point. I'll tell Greg it's too risky.
Oh, and Jeremy, thanks for helping me with the viability report.
No problem, Peter. Anytime.
Lauren, have you got a minute? I'd like to talk to you about the exhibition budget you've prepared.
Yeah, sure, Peter.
I see here where you've allocated $14,000 for fixtures and $7,000 for lighting.
I need you to trim it down to a combined total of $15,000.
Uh, okay. I can do that for you, Peter.
What's all this about the budget?
Oh, nothing really. Peter wants me to cut the set-up budget down to $15,000.
What did you tell her?
I told her I would.
You what? Lauren, we've spent $10,000 already, and we're not even through yet. I mean, what were you thinking?
What could I say? She asked so nicely. I couldn't tell her no.
I could tell her no.
I don't know what they expect from us around here sometimes.
You could tell her no. I've never heard you tell her no.
Oh, by the way, Jeremy, I've got to leave early tonight. Could you lock up for us, please?
Thanks.
Sure, no problem, Warren.
What we have here is a group of people whose communication styles fall into four different categories.
Passive, passive-aggressive, aggressive, and assertive.
Lauren is a passive communicator.
Passive communicators rarely get involved or make waves.
She knows the budget can't be reduced, but because of embarrassment or lack of confidence, she agrees with Peter.
Uh, okay. I can do that for you, Peter.
Passive communicators don't often complain, and they frequently exhibit submissive, non-verbal communication traits,
such as an excessively soft voice, hesitation in their speech, and lack of eye contact.
They usually appear happy in their jobs, but when pushed to their limit,
their unexpressed thoughts and emotions can erupt in unpredictable ways.
Then Peter lands me with another viability report.
Then there's Jeremy. He's a passive-aggressive communicator.
Jeremy always has something to say after the fact.
I can tell her no.
You can tell her no. I've never heard you tell her no.
Passive-aggressive communicators generally avoid conflict, rarely speak up,
and they'll frequently discuss problems or difficulties with those who aren't directly involved.
They often harbor feelings of unexpressed anger and frustration.
If it happens again, I'm gonna punch him in the nose and have his car towed.
Now that would be interesting.
Warren is your classic aggressive communicator.
He has very strong opinions and ideas and is not afraid to express them, even if it's at the expense of others.
It's a stupid idea. If anything happens to Rex, it's not like we can go out and buy another one, now is it?
Aggressive communicators sometimes seem as though they have a chip on their shoulder
and will often be perceived as overbearing and sarcastic and sometimes even rude.
That's a bit harsh, don't you think, Warren?
Why don't you try something a little wacky next time, like telling him how you feel?
PETA, on the other hand, is an assertive communicator.
She stands up for herself, expressing her needs and concerns in direct, appropriate ways.
I need you to trim it down to a combined total of $15,000.
Assertive communicators always respect the rights and personal space of others.
PETA also uses open body language, maintains eye contact, and she's not afraid to ask why.
Why is that, Warren?
Are you looking for me?
You're not gonna believe this.
Believe what?
Well, I just got an invitation from the art gallery.
It seems the senator is going to open their renaissance exhibition on the same night as our launch.
But how is that? She's meant to be here.
Exactly.
This is a disaster, PETA. How could this have happened?
I thought Jeremy was supposed to take care of this weeks ago.
Yeah. Look, don't panic just yet, Greg.
I'm going to go make a couple calls, find out exactly what happened,
and we'll all meet up later this afternoon.
Can you let everyone know?
Sure. I can't tell you how I don't need this at the moment.
The art gallery? I should have punched that guy in the nose when I had the chance.
They're doing this on purpose, you know.
First it's your parking space, then the opening night.
Yeah, before you know it, they'll have our pterodactyl greeting people in their lobby.
Nobody's punching anybody in the nose, Warren. It's just been a very unfortunate mix-up.
Yeah, but the senator can't be in two places at the same time,
and we've been working on this night for six months now.
The good news is she's going to both.
However, it means we're going to have to move hours ahead by a week.
Move it ahead? Greg, we don't have enough time as it is.
We have no choice, Warren.
Pete has drawn up a list of things that need to be done,
and we're all just going to have to share the load.
Okay. Greg and I are going to call the guests, let them know about the change of date.
Jeremy and Warren, you'll have to work around the clock on the exhibit.
Lauren, can you renegotiate the new security arrangements and catering?
Oh, and also talk to the press as well?
Wait a minute. You're not going to get Lauren going to talk to the press, are you?
Why not, Warren?
Oh, come on. You're kidding me, aren't you? The press is going to eat her alive.
I mean, no offense, but she's as timid as a mouse.
I mean, in three years, I haven't heard her string one full sentence together.
Nah, what you need is someone more assertive to talk to the press.
And you're suggesting you're that person?
Well, as you know, Greg, I've never had any problem expressing myself.
Well, thank you for offering to help, Warren.
However, barking orders and threatening to punch people in the nose
isn't what I would call assertive communication.
What are you talking about, Peter?
Well, you're right.
Telling people how you feel is an element of assertiveness,
but it's much more than just that.
Yeah, you have to be polite, too.
What are you trying to say, Jeremy?
Nothing, Warren. It's just that, you know,
people have always said what lovely manners I have.
Oh, please.
Excuse me, everybody.
I'm sorry for interrupting.
Do you mind?
No, sure. Go ahead, Lauren.
If you have to be polite to be assertive,
well, I know I'm certainly that.
However, I've never been all that good at expressing my feelings,
but I'd like to give it a try if it's not too late.
Firstly, Warren, you're intimidating.
Your body language is aggressive, not to mention the tone of your voice.
You are highly critical of everyone else's ideas and opinions,
which is why in three years you hardly heard me string a sentence together.
Secondly, Jeremy, I know you tell people how you feel,
but never the right person, never at the right time.
You never stand up for yourself or your team or what you believe in.
Instead, you gripe about things at every opportunity.
I know I'm not a particularly assertive communicator.
I'm shy, I lack confidence, and I get embarrassed easily.
But the climate in this team does nothing to help me overcome it.
Do you have any idea how it feels to sit in a room
and hear people talk about you as if you weren't even there?
There's just one more thing.
I quit.
Poor communication skills often compound other problems,
sometimes forcing a valuable team member to decide it's simply not worth the effort.
Learning to communicate assertively will reduce physical and mental stress,
resolve problems more quickly, and encourage productivity.
Assertive communicators always know what they want,
and PETA not only knows what she wants,
but she's also able to sort out the relevant from the irrelevant.
Hi.
Look, we all heard what you said in there, and you are absolutely right.
But, Lauren, we need you now more than ever.
You're the best in the business,
and nobody knows their mammals and fossils better than you do.
PETA, I've been telling myself for three years that it's going to get better, and it hasn't.
I love my job, but it's just not worth it.
Will you do me a favor?
Take the rest of the afternoon off, come back in tomorrow morning,
and we'll all sit down and see if we can work this out.
I just don't think I can do that, PETA.
Please, give us another chance.
If you're not happy by the end of it, we'll accept your resignation.
Deal?
Deal.
I really want this to work out.
You're all very valuable members of the team,
and each of you has been integral to the success of this project so far.
Look, I know it's been a tough few days around here,
but PETA and I really don't think that there's anything so insurmountable that it can't be fixed.
As long as we're all committed, we keep communicating with each other.
PETA's brought along some notes that I think we should go through and talk about.
PETA and Greg have begun with a positive assumption the situation can be resolved,
and they're being proactive.
Okay, everyone.
Eighty percent of all work-related problems are communication issues.
If we learn how to communicate intelligently,
it makes sense that we'll have more on-the-job satisfaction and success.
The key is to learn how to communicate assertively,
so I guess we'll have to start with the basic definition of assertiveness.
Assertiveness is being able to express yourself openly and honestly
without denying the rights of others.
Oh, I see.
Wanting to punch the art gallery guy in the nose is expressing myself,
but it's denying him his rights.
Exactly.
The most practical and honest way of expressing yourself
is to use personalized statements that begin with I
and to use feeling verbs like I feel, I felt, I found.
Lauren, when you left yesterday, I felt like a real jerk.
I mean, I found you to be one of the best curators I've ever worked with,
and I'd feel real upset if we were to lose you.
Thank you, Warren. I really appreciate it.
I think that last sentiment goes for us all.
So, Lauren, what do you say? Are you with us?
Yeah, sure.
All right.
Good.
Of course, we all should know that words are only one component
of the communication process.
We also have to take into account our body language, voice tone, and inflections,
as they are constantly relaying signals about what we are saying.
So, your voice should project confidence, be well-modulated and clear,
and easy to understand.
Peter, assertiveness doesn't mean we all must have the same opinions and ideas, does it?
Absolutely not.
Gee, that would make us a boring old bunch, wouldn't it?
So our team went on to learn many more assertive communication techniques that day.
So let's see how they put them into practice.
Hello, it's Warren Lincoln from the museum here. How are you today?
Oh, very well, thank you.
What can we do for you?
Well, your boss has parked in my parking space every day this weekend,
and I would like it to stop immediately, as it's causing me great inconvenience.
Well, don't you think that's a bit insensitive?
Insensitive? Me, insensitive? I don't think so.
Just have them move the car and tell them I don't want this to happen again. Goodbye.
I'm not so sure about this assertiveness thing, Peter.
I was polite, I expressed my feelings, told them what I wanted, and she calls me insensitive.
Warren, before you fly off the handle, you should practice good listening and get all the facts.
Ask clarifying questions and, if necessary, paraphrase what you understand.
Assertive communicators aren't afraid to ask why.
I mean, if you really listen, maybe there was a very good reason for them using your space.
And if so, then you should show empathy and put yourself in the other person's shoes.
Hello, it's Warren Lincoln here again. I think we're disconnected.
I was just wondering why wanting to park in my own space makes me insensitive.
I sent you a memo about it last week.
Our curator has just had a knee reconstruction and can't get up the stairs,
so we requested to change spaces with you.
You sent me a memo last week? I haven't seen it yet.
How's he doing? Those knee reconstructions can be really nasty.
That was great. I get my parking space back next week and I got a box of chocolates.
How's it going, Lauren? Good. Thanks, Warren.
You're very welcome.
What about Jeremy? Oh, I'll have that one.
That was great.
Are you leaving? Yes.
You can lock up Jeremy, right?
But now is Jeremy's chance to speak up for himself. Everyone has the right to say no.
No, Warren.
And the most simple and effective technique is to follow no by a simple explanation of how you feel.
I've done my fair share of locking up this month.
But don't feel compelled to always justify yourself and don't apologize. It weakens your position.
Remember to always say no firmly and calmly and match your delivery to your message.
This means your body language, like eye contact, gestures and expressions,
along with your voice tone, inflections and volume, should reflect what you're saying.
PETA, I know you've asked me to cut the budget by $6,000.
See how Lauren is no longer looking down or fidgeting?
And her eye contact is direct without being threatening.
Even the most well-honed assertive techniques don't guarantee you'll immediately get what you want.
I knew it would be difficult when I asked, but we had to reduce some costs on that project.
What do you think we should do about it?
If the request is persistent, then you'll need to negotiate and look for workable solutions.
We could cut back on numbers.
Too late. Invitations are out.
Well, how about instead of relocating the exhibits, we keep the whole museum open that night?
Now, it will cost us more in security,
but I think we'll be more than covered by the money we'll save by not relocating.
What do you think?
Well, I think that if it reduces the budgetary problem, you're a genius.
We hope you've enjoyed learning how assertive techniques will help you communicate more effectively.
That's it.
So let's summarize what we've learned.
Assertive communication is the ability to express yourself openly and honestly
without denying the rights of others.
Communicating assertively will help reduce physical and mental stress,
resolve problems more quickly, and encourage productivity.
You need to know what you want and have the ability to sort out what's relevant.
Then begin with a positive assumption that any problem can be resolved.
Speak up for yourself using I statements and feeling verbs like I feel, I felt, I found.
Practice good listening techniques by asking clarifying questions and paraphrasing what you understand.
Don't forget, you have the right to say no, which you should say firmly and calmly,
matching your delivery to the message.
And you should follow no by a simple explanation of how you feel.
But don't feel compelled to always justify yourself, and don't say sorry.
It weakens your position.
You must practice good negotiation skills and look for solutions.
Jeremy, would you get the lights on?
Assertive communication won't always get you what you want,
but it's your best chance of arriving at a win-win solution.
Remember, assertive communicators are truthful about their own feelings
and responsible towards others.
It was a gala fair here tonight at the Sienna Museum with an Amos crowd in attendance, including...
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