I want to, I want to just go back to that first bride and groom. When the groom threw
up, the bride thought that was hilarious. I wonder how funny she thought it was when
the minister said, you may now kiss the bride. Not so funny then. We have a kid coming up
in this next clip whom we love here at AFV, and it's going to be clear why. He has just
been told by his mom that AFV isn't on television tonight, and this is how he reacts.
What do you want to watch? Why do you want to watch them? You like it. I don't think
they're coming on though. A lot of my women friends tell me there are no good single men
out there, so just as an experiment we went looking through our tape library, which goes
back over a dozen years, and you know what? They're right.
I need a real man, ain't messing with no toys, don't need no baby boys, don't want no million
dollars, I don't need no diamond ring, you can twist and shout, don't care about material
man, I need a real man, I want a real man, I said a real man, I want a real man, I want
a real man. Now I know you've seen those ads on late night TV on how you can make money
in your own home, but this one is legit. If you'd like to win $10,000 or even $100,000,
the first step is to send us your funny video by our next contest deadline, October 21st,
2002. Just mail those tapes off to us at America's Funniest Home Videos, P.O. Box 4333, Hollywood,
California, 90078. And for full contest rules, just log on to abc.com, keyword AFV, or write
this address. But don't do it for the money. Do it to keep America laughing.
When I get older, losing my hair, many years from now, will you still be sending me a valentine's
birthday greetings bottle of wine? If it'd been out till quarter to three, would you
lock the door? Will you still need me? Will you still feed me when I'm 64?
I come from the future. Is that where your shirt's from? Because it isn't cool here.
Take a time out and kick back. Do you have any candles? No, but I got a lighter with
a nudity on it. The show critics call funny and fresh. Make sure you shower. The fun begins
on That Was Then, tonight at 9, 8 Central and ABC. Tom Hanks, Tim Allen in Toy Story 2,
ABC Sunday, 7, 6 Central. There is no relationship more special than
the one between a father and child. Now, I don't say that just because I am a father,
but because it's true. Now, some mother may come along and try to tell you how important
they are, but don't listen to them. They're just a bunch of glory hounds. It's dad the
kids remember. When you take off the training wheels, you
should try and ride on training cement. The monkey bars will help Ricky build his upper
body strength just like dad's. This is why men don't have children. You get up against
the mirror. I guess that's to prove he's really balancing him and that he didn't cheat and
screw a wire into his head. After all these years of saving the earth, Superman's gotten
a little callous. This is my favorite Samantha. This is how we wake my dad up from a nap.
One, two, three. The Hendersons love their new apartment. The only problem is getting
their upstairs neighbors to shut up. Sitting here in our audience with Maria, pet owner
Maria. You were telling me you had, I say had two pets because what happened? One of
them died. Who died? My bird. Your cockatoo? Yes. Who's left? My cat. Do you have any indication
that the cat might be responsible for the cockatoo dying? I hope not. No feathers in
his mouth, nothing like that? Not that I know of. He's hiding the evidence probably. That's
a tough thing when you lose a pet. It sure is. She just lost her cockatoo and these little
girls just lost their goldfish. You're the best fish I've ever had and you're always
my favorite fish. I miss you a lot lipstick and I don't want to do this to you. You're
the best fish I've ever had in my life. I'm going to let it go. It's dead sweetie you need
to let it go. I'll do it. Put it back in. It's kind of hard for me to do this but you're
my first and only fish I've ever flushed down the toilet. But I really do love you and it
was fun for having you for two weeks that I had you and I know that fish won't really
last that long. That's true then we'll be having a lot of fish if daddy keeps letting
us have these fish. And you know the cat, the cat's looking going there goes a perfectly
good snack food. We're here in Hollywood California right Alicia do you live here or are you visiting?
No Omaha Nebraska. Now do you every so often watch TV and think all those people they're
just unrealistically beautiful on television? Yes I do sometimes. Do you ever watch the
show and think that? Yes sometimes, sometimes not I don't know. So anyway Maria about. Yes
thank you Alicia thank you so much. Well you know the standard of beauty is unrealistic
in Hollywood and we just want to assure you in these next tapes we're not always raising
the bar that high. So how was the party? Praying to the porcelain god oh my god. Guess what
Bob asked for this Christmas? Some class. Maybe if investors had seen Enron headquarters
they would have suspected something. Next year she works on her lower body. So wait
now my son is going to tie the string onto my tooth. If I was down to my last tooth I
might cherish it a little more. I'm going to do it right now by myself with my arrow.
There's another kind of string you could have used. Dental floss. Now don't go peeling
yourself away. AFV's coming right back. The Kodak EasyShare digital camera and dock. Transfer
it the touch of a button and your pictures are ready to email or print. It's digital
photography made simple. Sure all these prescription allergy medicines can pass. The pollen test.
But what about the pet dander and dust test. Or the smoke test. Unlike these others only
flow nays relieves the nasal symptoms from all these triggers. For best results use
daily. Side effects are generally mild and may include headache, nosebleed and sore throat.
Put your medicine to the test. Ask your doctor about flow nays. When you get it all, all
it takes is flow nays. I waited 30 years to do that. Radio shack. You've got questions
we've got answers. The tuxedo is entertaining and fun. I am very popular. Fast witty and
imaginative. It's one enjoyable blast. Jackie Jack. Jennifer Love Hewitt. The tuxedo rated
PG 13. Now playing everywhere. Werther's Original Caramels. What a find. They're creamy and
wonderful to chew. I love that taste. It's Werther's all the way. Werther's Original
Hard Candies or Chewy Caramels. Try them now. Starting to feel a little cramped by your
present surroundings. Remax can help you find a new home while selling your current one
to someone who'll find it absolutely perfect. If you're looking for outstanding results,
look for Remax. This thing you've pulled off. It's amazing. A big and tasty for just a
dollar. How do you do it? What's your secret? Got a buck? You're in luck because you can
get a delicious, beefy, big and tasty, a McChicken sandwich and lots of your other favorites on
McDonald's Dollar Menu every day. Always knew the job could kill her. He's gonna see you.
She didn't know her deadliest enemy. If she can help us use her. Would be her mother. This
woman is not to be trusted. Like mother, like daughter. You are a traitor. Not likely. A
new alias followed by a new practice, ABC Sunday, 9, 8 Central. It's sexy, it's hot.
It's Fantasy Wednesday on ABC. Let me demonstrate. Starting with demons, dirty dancing. I don't
knew my wife and kids. And George Lopez dreams he's every woman's fantasy. Will the defendant
please rise? Well, almost. And then it's Fantasy Date Night on The Bachelor. It all starts at
8, 7 Central, ABC Fantasy Wednesday. For you pessimists out there, the show is
now half over. For you optimists, there's still half a show left. And for you masochists,
it's Cubic Zirconia Night on the Home Shopping Network. For the rest of us, we'll watch this.