to crack you up tonight on A.F.V.
And now, here he is, the CEO of Videos Incorporated,
Tom Bruggera.
Thank you.
That's nice.
Welcome.
Welcome, Dolly, at home to A.F.V., the show with a cast of over 300 million people.
Of course, I'm the only one that gets a paycheck for being on it, but when I cash it, I think
of you.
Tonight, we continue our mission to make the entire country famous, one clumsy person at
a time.
Let's meet our first selection of wannabes.
One way or another, Buddy's coming away from dessert with one of them ice cream headaches.
Boy, I bet you that hurts.
Production is already underway for next summer's release, The Slow and the Furious.
It's a two-stroke engine as well as a two-stroke penalty.
This is from the new home video, Briss on a Budget.
Some people use dental floss, others...
This is an optimistic dog.
As long as there's chewing, there's still a chance.
The original Frisbees were actually pie tins in what's funnier than a pie in the face.
Tommy is such a show-off, even his swing set's trying to get rid of him.
As you know, television's flooded with reality shows, relationship shows, celebrity families,
competitive camping.
There's even a show that deals in fear, but you've seen this one.
They tell the contestants that they're going to try and scare them, which I think takes
all the real fun out of it.
To me, fear is so much more enjoyable when the person doesn't know it's coming.
This is just like Hitchcock, except this time there's a psycho on both sides of the shower
curtain.
Oh, he seems scared now, but by the end of the 2012 Summer Games, Bobby will have made
it to the end of the diving board.
Step one, collect rats.
Step two, train them to fly.
Everybody loves a new cat, except the old cat.
No matter how advanced video games become, virtual reality will never replace the real
thing.
I know your first instinct is to worry about the kid, but can't you imagine what was going
through that spider's head at that point?
I once met a blues musician who told me anyone, anyone can play music.
It's not about being perfect.
It's about what's in your heart, what pours out of your soul that matters.
Then I showed him this next clip and he took it all back.
Don't panic, AFV will be right back.
We'll be right back.
It's a beauty keeps whites white as the fresh snow mama keeps whites white with a new glow
mama gets stains clean with the magic mama's got the magic of Clorox bleach for stains
on whites you need Clorox bleach Clorox bleach doubles the stain removing power of your detergent
that's the magic of Clorox this is Ruben Brown of the Buffalo Bills Ruben helps the United
Way build stronger communities by participating in after school recreational outings to all
of his fans Ruben's a hero Saturday on ABC, Penn State, Wisconsin or other regional action
Tuesday, John Ritter, Jim Belushi, two devoted dads with one dilemma.
Honey is your fork now you're a lady they have to deal with daughters I just wanted
to give Bridget a kiss goodbye I know the comedy hits eight simple rules and according
to Jim Tuesday at eight seven central on ABC as you may be aware humans are the only animals
that don't have a natural habitat we find a place we want to live then we kick out all
the animals who live there we make it uninhabitable and we move on we are nature's bullies and
just like any bully once in a while someone stands up to you wow smokey doesn't usually
show up until the candles are lit they're called hermit crabs but in fact they can be
quite outgoing when they want to be if you think this is cool wait till you see him lift
it and carry it up the tree they may be a notch below us on the evolutionary scale but
that doesn't mean they don't like nice things who knows how many cartons of cigarettes you
can get for that on the inside careful Timmy that's the early bird and you know what they
do with their size and strength the giraffe has no natural enemies in fact the only thing
they fear rush hour have you been invited to a wedding lately don't worry etiquette
experts say you actually have a year after the ceremony to get the couple a gift now
I suggest you take that year because if the couple breaks up within 12 months you just
saved yourself a gift and got a free dinner Sherry do you take Ralph
in the halls of Montezuma to rope a tussin D
this happens to a lot of newlyweds as soon as they tie the knot they go into a cocoon
lately God didn't approve of them living together before they got married if she's the maid
of honor I don't want to see what the maid of dishonor has to do