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Standby everybody, here we come, five seconds to go.
Standby, camera one.
All cameras ready.
Ready on two.
Standby, studio one.
Missed, missed, never visioned.
Whistled, missed, and you're missing something
That is sure to interest you.
See, television lights, hit, really happens that
Hit, don't go snapping over to the other show.
We want so much to tell you all about it, show you what makes it tick.
If you've any reason left to doubt it, come on inside, make it quick.
This is television with its snap decision.
You've never seen me before, believe it, this is television in the wrong.
Lindsay Wagner, Mike Preston, Bill Aldi, Dave Allen, The Sullivans, Jimmy Hannon,
Carrie Goldman, Henry Winkler, Cheryl Ladd, Horrie Dargi, Chuck Faulkner.
Tonight, we'll reunite you with more than 60 of TV's biggest stars from around the world.
40 years of TV stars then and now.
But right now, here's the man to make the party swing, here's Don.
My only question is like supposing these people had never made it in the business and they had to become something else.
Come on, come on, move it, keep the ball off the floor.
Get that energy going, get those layups in there.
If I hadn't worked in TV for 31 years, I might have had a shot at coaching.
Maybe even in the big time.
These days, I get to do both.
You see, hey, meet the next Luke Longley here.
Tonight, we're going to meet people from all walks of life.
A switchboard operator, a gambler, a beach bum, a bird watcher, and even a professor.
At least, that's what they do now.
Back then, they were the TV stars we grew up with.
We'll also meet some of TV's most enduring stars.
They're still in the game, but not always in front of the camera.
We're going to reunite some of TV's great characters.
And there's a few surprises in store, but more about that later.
Okay, boys, that's it. Great work. Nice going.
Now, first up, what is it that so fascinates real families about TV families?
It's not as if their lives on TV are any more interesting.
Yet, we continue to live out the weekly troubles of the Cunninghams, the Clevers, the Clampets, the Kellys,
the Bunkers, the Bullpits, and the Brady's as if their problems were our problems.
They managed to sort things out in a neat little half hour.
Hey, if only it were that simple in real life.
Mom, where's Dad? Tachi's mom's going to be here any minute.
What Mrs. Cunningham lacked in depth, she made up for with her cooking.
Yeah, she was a stereotype, but remember, it was the 50s seen through the eyes of the 70s.
And Potsy is certainly attached to your father.
People would say to me, why don't you do more with Mrs. C?
My God, can't you make that woman have a little more depth?
I would say, well, she's awfully busy, and she does have depth, but she's thinking of something else.
Now, Marion is in demand as a dramatic actor.
She's just completed the sequel to Terms of Endeavor with Shirley MacLaine.
It's a far cry from Mrs. C, a role which has given Marion Ross many happy days.
Even at home here in the States when I need something, I call a workman,
and I'll say, well, for city problems, something, I'll say, did you ever watch Happy Days when you were a boy?
Yes. I said, well, I'm Mrs. C. Oh, you are? Instantly now.
I'm going to get what I want, right? I can get a long way on that.
All right, you can come out now.
Family Affair pitted Brian, Keith, and Sebastian Cabot against child stars Anissa Jones and Johnny Whitaker.
I'm not supposed to stay up at Mr. Beasley, couldn't he?
Beasley had insomnia.
Brian, of course, he was very fun, loving, and pushed the kids as far as letting them do whatever they wanted.
However, Sebastian, being the ultimate actor that Sebastian Cabot was,
if we upstaged him, he'd just twitch his whiskers, look at us and give us an eye so that, of course, the focus would be pulled back to him.
John Whitaker now works behind the scenes maintaining computers for the CBS network in America.
John's co-star Anissa Jones tragically went the way of a lot of child stars.
She died of drugs and alcohol abuse as a teenager.
Now this next lady nearly met with the same fate.
She was married at 15, a mother at 16, survived a drug overdose, survived detox, and married two more times, once to a porn star.
No, it's not the plot to a bad soap opera.
It's the remarkable life of Lisa Loring.
Now she's a mother of two between jobs and living in Los Angeles.
I never really had a childhood. I wasn't allowed to be a child. I had to be an adult all the time.
Way back when, she was the youngest member of TV's strangest family.
Nice knife. Can I play autopsy with it?
Lisa played Wednesday Adams until she was eight years old. She spent the next part of her childhood trying to live it down.
A lot of it I tried to forget for many years because it made my adolescence so difficult.
I went into junior high and, oh, you were the one who was Wednesday.
And I said, no, I wasn't. That wasn't me. And I'd get very angry about it because it makes you singled out.
Only eight years after she left her TV family, Lisa started one of her own.
I chose to give my career many times over the years for a family and children.
Today, Lisa is trying to relaunch her acting career.
I never wanted to be a star. Notice I get nervous when I say that because people have considered me that when I was a child for many years.
More, but I would say more a celebrity in ways. And I don't even like that title at all.
Graham Kennedy came through that door.
We know, Mum. We read the sign on the lawn.
G'day, grumble bum.
Quiet, wog. I'm trying to read Mandrake.
Ted Bullpitt's family were Australia's version of the Garnets and the Bunkers.
Probably some of the jokes would seem very racist or I think we're a bit more being politically correct now.
We've caught that from the Americans and we'd be very wary of some of the things.
Our own little budge.
It's black. It's a black budgie, Mr. Smarty-Dago.
When the series ended, the cast continued working in Australia. All but one, that is.
I haven't exactly kept my hand in, but I've kept, say, to the top joint of one little finger anyway.
I've done a West End play and I've done an arty film for Channel 4.
Today, Laurel McGowan lives in London with her husband Adam and three-year-old son Jack and she still gets an occasional royalty from Kingswood Country.
I did get a check from Zimbabwe once, so it went there and I think it was shown in New Zealand.
One of television's most popular families didn't even have a mum.
It had a granny, a couple of cousins, several hundred critters, some oil wells and, as the song goes, a man named Jed.
A Beverly Hillbilly.
Back then, Jethro Bodine was the very naive high roller of the family, trying to be a big shot in the big smoke.
Now nothing much has changed. Jethro is, in reality, Max Baird, Jr.
His home is Las Vegas and he has big plans.
I would hope that once I get the first one up that I would have the possibility of becoming the McDonald's of gaming.
Max's dream? To build a chain of casino hotels based on the Beverly Hillbillies.
It's so crazy, it might just come off.
It would look like the Beverly Hillbilly mansion. It would have a giant oil derrick out in front that would explode with fire and lights.
Inside, all the waitresses would be dressed like Ellie May, padded like Dolly Parton.
The dealers dressed like Jethro. The pit bosses like Uncle Jed.
We'd have Granny's Vittles and Hog Jow's Restaurant. Jethro's All You Can Eat Buffet, where we'd have two-pound Jethro hot dogs on Ellie May's buns.
Then we would have the cement pond with rock climbs and log rides. If we expanded beyond that, we could have Jethro's...
We'll come back to Max in a moment. Meanwhile, in Orange County, Los Angeles...
Donna Douglas, who played Ellie May, travels the world spreading the gospel.
But wherever Donna goes, Ellie May is never far behind.
I was raised a tomboy out in the country. It was so easy for me to relate to that. I always told you it was a slice out of my life.
But as far as my whistle...
Whistle
I wonder how the sound man handled that one.
We would have Granny's Shotgun Wedding Chapel, which is the old cabin back in the hills, put right into a...
Max Baer's renewed enthusiasm for the Beverly Hillbillies comes after years of establishing himself as a movie producer.
Now he's trying to strike oil with someone to finance his new venture. A hundred million should swing it.
If you'd like to write me a check, I'd be more than happy to go forward. As a matter of fact, Kerry Packer can write the check. It's okay with me.
Donna hopes she's also on the verge of a fortune. You see, she claims Whoopi Goldberg's movie Sister Act was originally her idea.
Oh, the movie business. Well, currently in a lawsuit with Disney Studios because we feel that Sister Act was our project.
We presented it to Disney. We presented it to Whoopi. We even suggested Whoopi.
And if her lawyers are successful, you know who'll be whistling Dixie.
Sure has been nice visiting with y'all. Y'all be sure and stay tuned now, you hear?
Whistle
But you can have your clampets. For mine, there's really only one truly great television family. And this segment wouldn't be complete without them.
Okay, you guys, that's enough of that. Come over here for a drink.
Today is a red-letter day for the Sullivan's. Dave, Grace, Kitty, Terry, Tom, and even Jack the Barman together on TV for the first time since the series ended.
The only one missing, Andrew McFarland, who was filming on location. But then, John Sullivan was always going missing.
I'll hit you with something now that you haven't thought we thought of. Do you realize this 20th September in 1996, we're 20 years old.
I figured once when I left the show, I'd actually spend a quarter of my life up to that point working on myself.
I remember when Mel first walked into the, you know, into the set as a fabulous young captain.
And I took one look at him and I rushed up to Alan Hardy and said, Kitty's found her husband.
That one, I want that one. And unfortunately, he was booked for Gallipoli.
Picking a favorite scene from more than 500 hours of drama is not easy. But for the cast, there are a few standouts.
Tom going to war. Yeah, that was a milestone. And coming home drunk and me putting you to bed and then have to square off with your mother.
The return of Tom. Always returning.
I'll tell you a dramatic scene I remember that you did when he walked in in uniform and suddenly you saw him in uniform as well.
That was a fabulous moment. You just went, there's your whole family. Everyone right now, Dave's in uniform.
After this reunion, the Sullivans go back to their day jobs. Paul Cronin does voiceover work in Lights.
Lorraine Bailey works in theater and does TV commercials.
Richard Morgan runs a company that sells computers. Stephen Tandy directs.
Reg Gorman is never far from the stage. And Susan Hannaford exports a fashion range to the United States.
To the next 40 years of television. Oh, what a thought.
Now Lee Merriweather's singing up a storm.
But in one of her previous lives, she was purr-fectly wicked.
Up to your nose and show them how to dance to a new rhythm.
Some people think small cars are like tin cans.
They think that a small car couldn't possibly have a reinforced body, let alone front and rear crumples arms.
And who's ever heard of a small car with dynamic side intrusion protection and a twin cam engine?
Toyota Starlet. $15,490 drive away. No more to pay.
Here we go again.
You're about to see a television screen so flat they can land an aircraft on it.
A screen so flat that air traffic controllers around the world rely on it for clearer, more accurate pictures.
Pictures you can now enjoy at home.
With the new Sony Super Trinitron television. It's a Sony.
Gillette presents another great moment in 9's wide world of sports.
It's the 1995 Masters at Augusta and Ben Crenshaw is playing under a cloud.
Earlier in the week, his lifelong coach Harvey Pinnock had died at the age of 90.
Jettle Ben picks up 30s at 16 and 17 to give him a two-stroke lead.
Although he bogeys 18, it's enough for an emotional Crenshaw to win the Masters by one stroke.
Another great moment in 9's wide world of sports.
Once found, impossible to leave.
And now, your Estee Lauder gift is at Grace Brothers with mascara, enlightened makeup and two full-size lipsticks.
Valued at over $100, it's yours with any Estee Lauder purchase of $38 or more. Now at Grace Brothers.
Sydney Harbor Casino proudly presents...
Caroline, I'll divide. Oh, did you sleep there so soundly?
And said Australia have a great deal holidays all around Australia.
And at prices to suit everyone's budget.
Call your travel agent or and said Australia.
You suggested that I killed my wife. Sunday Night of the Movies.
One of the greatest motion pictures of all time.
The Fugitive.
The Fugitive's name is Dr. Richard Kiffle. Academy Award winner Tommy Lee Jones.
Screen legend Harrison Ford. I didn't kill my wife.
Non-stop action and suspense from beginning to end. I'm not trying to solve a puzzle.
Well, I am trying to solve a puzzle. 8.30 Sunday, The Fugitive on Channel 9.
Punching the same clock, walking the same tight rope, has everyone on the block. The fella you ought to be is three-dimensional.
Now she's rehearsing for the lead in Maine. But 30 years ago, Lee Merriwether was poured into a cat suit to play Batman's feline foe.
I couldn't think of her as evil. She was having fun. Then she didn't kill anybody. Not really.
I mean, disintegrating a few people here and there. They were all brought back anyway.
TV troublemakers. The characters we love to hate. Mostly because they seem to have more fun than we do.
I mean, let's face it. Would you rather be Richie Cunningham or J.R. Ewing?
Almost every show has its resident villain. But for all their devilish deeds, away from the set, they're really quite a nice bunch.
Once you get to know them.
Good morning, Nurse Adams.
Don't you ever sleep, sister?
I wouldn't, if all my nurses lived it up the way you do.
Are you any complaints about my work?
No, nurse. Only your morals.
She was a bitch, but it was for a good reason. She would never let her nurses do anything that wasn't proper, and she kept the whole hospital in line.
She ran that hospital.
Cornelia Francis breathed venom into Sister Scott, and the audience loved it.
Often people used to think I was Sister Scott herself, and you go into a supermarket and then run a bloody mile.
I mean, they'd see me going with the trolley. They'd have a look to see what was in it.
But then they'd suddenly say, oh, that terrible woman. And then you give a lovely smile and say, hi, how are you?
And they'd say, oh, you're human. You're nice.
Unfortunately for Cornelia, Sister Scott roles don't come along very often.
Good afternoon. This is Seller Masters. I'm Cornelia. Can I help you?
Today she earns a living answering the phone for a wine club.
I'm loving it. It's great. And you can come and go as you please. If you get a job, you can just leave and come back when it's finished.
And while she works on her telephone manner, Cornelia hasn't given up on her career of choice.
You're an actress all your life. You just don't lose it, and you never stop.
As opposed to retiring as there isn't one.
And, you know, as I have said before, every dog has its day, but this bitch ain't over yet.
I hope.
There are bad guys, and then there are troublemakers, and then there are those you just want to take...
I mean, take Frank Burns, please.
Are those gurney tables?
Right.
And those are surgical masks.
You're playing ping pong.
I told you it was ping pong.
You're absolutely right, Frank. Dismissed.
Frank Burns was an easy target for the scalpel-sharp wit of Hawkeye and Trapper.
Since leaving the show, Larry Linville has been subjected to a strange sort of hero worship.
I mean, I've had ridiculous women in a bar come up to me, you know, half-loaded, and come up to me and say,
Please wine. I love it when you whine for me. You know, and I'm like, go away.
You know, would you just go away?
I mean, I'm not reactionary or bitter about that kind of thing, because I've created that kind of monster myself.
But it's a bit odd.
Today, home is New York. His office is Broadway, where Larry usually gets cast as the villain.
That's the fun of being an actor. One minute you scare them, the next minute you make them laugh,
and you tell them a story, and they're appreciative, and...
It really is a hell of a good life.
To join the Navy!
This man has made a remarkable recovery, considering the fate he met with more than 20 years ago.
It was interesting because people tend to remember his death, which was actually the first live death on Australian television.
Hey, can you swim, fishcake?
I can swim like a shark, son, but not in that treacle.
Bell Bird's conniving real estate agent Charlie Cousins wasn't pushed. He fell.
It happened on a Thursday, but the audience had to wait for the following episode to see if he survived.
It caused an uproar.
And there were people in Parliament saying, you know, my family spent the most unhappy weekend of their lives
not knowing if Charlie Cousins lived or died. The ABC's being irresponsible once again.
Now Robin works in film, TV and theatre, playing for a few hundred here and a few minutes.
And a few million there.
The show I did in India last year played to 400 million viewers, so I mean it's an extraordinary thing to think on one night
you're just going to play to more people than you're playing the rest of your life.
Or if you're playing in India, the rest of your lives.
Robin Ramsey, a fine actor, but like Christopher Skays, he'll always be remembered for his quick exit from television.
Now here's a show full of troublemakers. Prisoner. Remember The Freak? We hated it, didn't we?
And what about Frankie Doyle? Imagine incarcerating that little charmer.
Hey, I forgot to tell you. We've got a new nickname for you. It's our bees idea. You want to know what it is?
Really good tips.
I think it liberated women's roles on Australian television.
There hadn't been a character like The Freak or like Frankie Doyle before.
And I think producers sat up, the audience sat up, and the response has gone on around the world since then.
The only way to treat people like you is to step on them all the time.
They never appeared in Prisoner together, but Maggie Kirkpatrick and Carol Burns share the cult status of playing two of TV's most loved baddies.
I've had proposals of marriage from both sexes.
I haven't, neither.
Today, both Carol and Maggie are stars of the stage, based in London.
When my character died, I went to Los Angeles, and the wake that they had in Los Angeles for Frankie Doyle was superb.
They marched down the street with a draped coffin with Frankie Doyle on the side of it, and ended up at one of the best gay discos in Los Angeles, and had a wild, wild party.
I had never, you know, I'm a quiet Brisbane girl. I had never been part of anything like this before.
Maggie Kirkpatrick is still enjoying the fruits of success, resurrecting the freak with a high cam production of Prisoner the Musical.
To maintain the stern manner on stage and that austere costume and hairdo, of course, but then to burst out into a big rock and roll number about black leather gloves is a joy, a joy, with tongue planted very firmly in the cheek.
Which begs the question, what next?
Oh, who knows, maybe Hollywood?
It'd be nice, wouldn't it?
It is Prisoner the Movie, isn't it?
It seems like a natural progression somehow to me, but we'll wait and see.
Now there's a scary thought.
And while we're on the subject of troublemakers, here's one who was once described as the slippiest, most two-faced schemer to grace the television.
The show? Leave it to Beaver, the troublemaker, a little weasel called Eddie Haskell.
Good morning, Mrs. Cleaver.
By the way, Mrs. Cleaver, I found a quaint little bakery over on Hudson Avenue. You should try it sometime. Very reasonable.
Thank you, Eddie.
Eddie Haskell was what Australians call a crawler.
Wally's best friend ingratiated himself on the adults and generally made life difficult for the Beaver.
The only time your debt will start falling is when you move back home.
Who left your cage open?
He's not really bad.
Eddie was not ever stealing anything or into alcohol or drugs.
Eddie wasn't a bad kid. He was just mischievous.
But then you'd expect Ken Osment to say that.
After leaving the Beaver, Ken disappeared into TV typecast wilderness.
Today, he's building a plane with his son Christian in his Los Angeles backyard.
Considering the life he's led, it's a miracle Ken is here at all.
First, there was the helicopter service with his brother.
The chopper crashed and so did the business.
We were unhurt, my brother and I, but the company was a mortal wound financially.
A lucky escape. Next career move, he was on patrol with the Los Angeles police.
This time, he wasn't so lucky.
September 20th of 1980, we chased a car theft suspect, which resulted in my being shot three times.
Scars aren't all that good looking, but that's what a 38 caliber hole looks like.
Then there were those persistent rumors that Eddie Haskell had become a porn star.
As it turned out, it was John Holmes.
He was pretty infamous in the porno field, or was until he died.
And to my understanding, he was using the credit that he had played Eddie Haskell, using this as a credit to get work.
Ken has now settled down to the relatively safe job of property management.
That should keep his feet firmly planted on the ground, at least until he finishes building his plane.
So I think I'll get a fixed-wing license. It'll be fun.
When your hair will still grow. Then he was the young talent with the big voice. Now he's making a comeback.
Forever for you.
Saturday night at the movies. I do think you're beautiful.
This was a perfect romance. I'm crazy about you, Jen.
A dream come true. I couldn't be happier.
Until the nightmare began.
Oh, God!
What'd I tell you to do something you don't?
I'm just really scared.
I believe your husband's a rapist.
Inspired by a true story.
What are you doing checking up on me?
There are things that you don't know.
You don't believe what I say?
He's a monster.
Look who's home.
For the first time on television.
If you run, I'll find you.
The Stranger Beside Me, Saturday, 8.30 on 9.
From Walt Disney Pictures, Quasimodo spent his entire life in a bell tower.
Nobody wants to stay cooped up here forever.
But now, with a little help from his friends, he's getting out on the town and in on the farm.
Come with me.
Walt Disney Pictures all new, The Punchback of Notre Dame.
Hurry and book for Disney's live magical moment stage show, now playing at the State Theatre.
This is my coin collection.
I've been saving him since I was a kid.
Oh, I also collect butterflies.
It's getting there.
Now, my stamp collection needs a little work.
Oh, the mail.
For people who need a little help saving, there's ANZ Progress Saver.
Deposit regularly, don't withdraw, and you can earn double the usual interest.
And this unique statement really shows your progress.
I've reached my savings goal.
Now I can holiday in Tahiti and start a seashell collection.
ANZ Progress Saver. That's progress.
Why are we stopping here?
KFC's new Tasty Tenders.
Oh, yeah.
KFC's new Tasty Tenders combo.
Four Tasty Tender pieces of breast-filler chicken in a delicious crispy coating,
served with chips and a Pepsi, all for just $4.95.
Very tasty.
People ask me for all sorts of recommendations, but for heart-burning indigestion,
I only recommend Mylanta, now a new convenient Roll Tabs.
I recommend the antacid that was recommended to me.
Mylanta Roll Tabs. Mighty relief, mighty fast.
Here we go again.
Stop! Hold it. Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
The ANZard Australia spaceship is now flying to seven destinations across Asia Pacific.
The service is out of this world.
The name Jamie Redford conjures up many images.
Young talent time, King of Pop, a tour with Liberace.
Contract problems brought everything to a standstill.
Jamie didn't perform for 15 years.
In the 15 years that I wasn't performing, believe it or not, I was doing many things.
I was doing a lot of charity work.
I was also doing a public relations job with a food company for quite a while.
And teaching. Jamie now has his own talent school in Melbourne.
Goodnight, Australia.
Good to see Jamie back again.
Even though he started on TV as a child, his career never relied on staying young.
As long as he sings, he'll always get work.
But you know, getting an early start in television is no guarantee of a long career.
Kids grow up. So what happens then?
Let me introduce you to a guy who won a Logie as a child and then disappeared.
But we found him.
And to make things interesting, I won't tell you who he is until the end of this segment.
If you were born on the first day of television, you're possibly into your second marriage,
maybe with a couple of kids.
If you're a guy, you're losing too much hair but not enough weight.
Chances are you're approaching your first midlife crisis.
But for people who grew up on television, all that can happen by the time you hit 20.
It's not that being a child star is hard. The hard part is what comes later.
Hey, wait a minute!
No!
Paul Peterson, TV star at 16, washed up at 20.
Fame is a drug.
And speaking as an old drunk and drug addict, believe me, fame was tougher to get over
than any amount of booze I ever drank or any amount of drugs I ever consumed
because it's so contrary to the process of growing up where your circle of effect is supposed to increase.
Paul Peterson's career in television was nearly over before it began.
He was one of the original Mouseketeers but was fired in the first week for conduct unbecoming a mouse.
They called me Mouse. I hate nicknames.
And I punched the casting guy named Lee Travers in the stomach and said,
don't call me Mouse fatso.
And Walt Disney was standing behind him and I was fired that afternoon.
Like many child stars, growing up proved to be a bad career move.
Paul blew his fortune on fast living and spent 20 years in no man's land.
When he finally dried out and weaned himself off celebrity, Paul discovered he wasn't alone.
Drew Barrymore, Danny Bonaduce, Todd Bridges, Dana Plato, Gary Cole.
Paul decided to do something about it and formed a support network for child stars.
Frankly, kids who work too much in this business are really putting their future at risk.
So we try to counsel ways to prepare children, no matter how famous, to prepare themselves for the next adventure.
Dennis the Menace was never too far from trouble.
And sometimes trouble came in glasses and curls.
Dennis deserted me and all the babies.
Very bossy, very pushy, very know it all, very aggressive.
You know, the kid you want to run from when you see her coming.
In other words, Margaret was a pain in the neck.
I write then the Dr. Jean Russell, who played Margaret, became a chiropractor.
Her clients include many fellow child stars.
I suppose it's like alien abduction.
You know, it's like we can sit around and talk about how it was, you know, and it's a real unique club.
Being a child in show business is one of, it's a very unique lifestyle.
And if you've lived it, you get it.
And if you haven't lived it, I can try and explain it till I'm blue in the face.
And it's interesting, but it's hard to get.
We've always loved adventure, a thrilling and new adventure.
There isn't a better high than pleasing an audience.
And once that is in your blood, it's very hard to, you know, get rid of.
Jack Wild had his own TV show, a string of hit records and a starring role in the feature film Oliver.
Unfortunately, cuteness came with a use-by date.
It's very much a case in Hollywood.
If you're not there, you're forgotten so quickly.
What followed was an uninterrupted drinking binge that should have cost Jack his life.
I shouldn't really be talking to you now.
I mean, I've, my heart has stopped three times.
And thankfully, I've been seven years dry now.
And I've, although I'm still experiencing all the good and bad points in life,
at least I'm sober enough to tackle them.
Now acting roles are few and far between.
In the meantime, Jack writes from his home in London and tries to turn a minus into a plus.
When I think of all the incredible actors that have been alcoholics in the past,
or even drug addicts, whatever, there are quite a lot of us.
You lose.
Who said he's allowed to vote?
All those in favour of nudge voting?
Aye.
Addiction can take many forms.
For one of these kids, it was gambling.
I sort of knew I was destroying myself at the same time.
I felt comfortable because I was in control in my little world.
And maybe in a way I was trying to destroy my career at the same time.
Gambling not only destroyed Paul Smith's career, it ruined his life.
This is a prison farm in Tasmania.
Paul's home for three months.
Well, I've spent two years trying to put my life back together,
and I'm happy with where I'm at at the moment.
I spent a bit of time for cashing checks to enable my gambling.
That's all in the past now.
Computer programming is a much more low-key, stress-free career,
which Paul will pursue after he pays his debt to society.
I really can't envisage me working in the TV industry any more.
I think I said once that in the TV industry you can be Houdini,
and the next minute you're just playing Hoo.
And I'm quite happy being Hoo.
The good news is Paul's now back with his family
and has undergone counselling for his gambling.
The people who make TV shows would like nothing better
than a child star who never grew up.
Now, I can only think of two kids who've achieved that,
Peter Pan and Gary Coleman.
What are you talking about, Willis?
It's a business that grown-ups are very familiar with,
and they know all the rules to play the game, and kids don't.
I've been doing it for 20 years, so I'm learning on the job,
and I'm getting pretty good at it.
Gary Coleman is a TV veteran trapped inside a kid's body.
His growth stunted by anti-rejection drugs from two kidney transplants.
He was perfect for the role of the wisecracking Arnold.
This is better than anything I ever saw in a Brady Bunch.
When Different Strokes ended,
Gary was one of the most recognised actors in the world,
yet he couldn't find work.
If you grow too fast, too quickly as an entertainer,
you get forgotten that much faster.
The fortune he earned was squandered by his parents.
Gary eventually left Hollywood and changed his name
to escape the glare of being a famous has-been.
It didn't work.
When you get to be a celebrity on my level,
there isn't a place you can go where someone is not going to want to know you,
know why you're there, know all about you, know your business,
and want to use you for their benefit or their gain.
Beyond celebrity, there's obscurity,
and beyond that is what obscure celebrities call cult status.
Guys, it's Webster!
Gary Coleman is making a comeback.
I don't think so.
Married with Children is just one of the shows
that Gary makes cameo appearances on.
...just won $10 million.
No!
She do.
OK, it's not a starring role.
You! I mean, Al! Wait a minute.
But it's a living.
Now, today, you'd never mistake Gary Coleman in a crowd.
That's part of his problem.
But you could pass this next star in the street a hundred times
and not know who he is.
Yet his show was probably seen by more people than different strokes.
When it ended, he never acted again.
Give me, give me, give me, give me!
All stars have stand-ins.
There was more than one kangaroo in the show.
We did have a couple which ran better than others.
We had prettier kangaroos which we used for close-ups.
To me, it was just purely a three-year adventure.
A three-year adventure which has given Gary Pankhurst
a lifetime of unwanted fame.
It had to be just the right texture.
No.
It's the same as if you were captain of your football team at school.
I mean, you don't go through life, you know, reliving the fact that you've done something
which people seem as being sort of out of the ordinary.
Gary spent 16 years in the hotel industry.
His home is now the Gold Coast,
where his career has taken a bizarre turn.
Now I'm basically getting involved in a bit of export of Australian products
and funnily enough one of them is kangaroo meat,
which we're sending overseas.
It's a bit of a sort of Sunday's revenge, I suppose,
for all the years we've been putting up with Skeppy.
Geez, that's a bit rough.
Selling off your best mate?
Whatever happened to loyalty?
Now there's one more child star tale to tell. Mine.
It all started when I kicked a soccer ball around the playground.
Unfortunately, I had a little fall and it hurt.
He's all grown up now, isn't he?
Well, it was 21 years ago.
Bo Cox was the band-aid boy who whimpered his way into our hearts.
Bo Cox.
In 1978, Bo became our youngest loggie winner for his performance in Young Ramsey.
For the six-year-old, it was the perfect time to set some serious business straight.
When I made the acceptance speech, I was quite worried
that the kids at school would believe that I was a crybaby and all that,
and I cried all the time.
So I did have to tell them that it wasn't true.
I didn't cry. They just threw a bucket of water over me before every take.
Did you really cry?
No.
He was the hottest kid on the block,
and as an interview guest, he was one of my all-time favorites.
Do you worry about guest appearances?
No.
No?
I was playing a five-year-old boy with a lot of problems.
Bo turned his back on acting in his early teens.
He went to university and today has taken a gamble on a new career.
I'm working for the Cairns Casino.
I'm an electronic gaming processor.
I really have grown up.
I've got children of my own, Sean, who's just about the age that I was when I started.
Geez, he's much better looking than I was.
She was washed up on Cocoa Beach, but it was the start of a magical career.
Next, we reveal the secret of Jeannie's bottle.
MUSIC
On 60 Minutes, a brutal crime.
I kicked her in the face as hard as I could.
He was just a predator.
The killer's chilling confession.
I strangled her.
But this violent man...
He picked on Chris because she was little.
...will never go to jail.
He'll do it again.
Also, hockey-rew Nova Peris.
Our golden girl goes home to Kakadu.
Wow, everything got ever drained off.
And women's corn.
He won't ever forget me.
Their sweet revenge.
I poured paint over this BMW.
60 Minutes, Sunday.
This is the F1 on board.
You're about to see a television screen so flat they can land an aircraft on it.
A screen so flat that air traffic controllers around the world rely on it
for clearer, more accurate pictures.
Pictures you can now enjoy at home.
With the new Sony Super Trinitron television.
It's a Sony.
This is what Brash's Super September's all about.
Just get into Brash's and save $53 on this remote-controlled Panasonic TV, only $396.
Have a good, hard look at Brash's bargains.
And save $50 on this remote-controlled Sharp VCR, limited stocks at only $329.
You'll save a huge $200 on this 3-disc remote Akai Hi-Fi at Brash's only $499.
And with Brash's six months interest free, take it home today and pay nothing till March 97.
Brash's Super September.
You just can't beat it.
Oh, we're pretty proud of it.
Wee.
That is the son and I.
We restored it together.
Then he got transferred to Perth.
Oh, we talked.
On the phone.
Yeah, it'd be nice if he was a bit closer.
Get closer to family and friends by flying free with Qantas on reward points earned at Noble
or anywhere Visa is accepted with the new Qantas Telstra Visa Card.
How are you?
Without the right knowledge and skills, the way forward is seldom clear.
Life Education Australia believe that if we can give Australia's children access to these skills
and knowledge, we can help prevent at least some of the 28,000 deaths that occur each year
due to drug and alcohol misuse.
Life Education Australia. Prevention. It is better than cure.
So what are you having for dinner?
Well, it's my turn to cook.
We've got some steaks at home.
Pepper steak.
It's easy with Maggi pepper sauce.
You just add boiling water.
It's smooth and rich.
You can taste the real pepper.
Mmm. Looks delicious.
It makes our meal a little more special.
She'll love it.
What will I love?
Another delicious idea from Maggi.
How light are Kraft Extra Lights?
They're solo in fat. They're extra light.
Kraft Extra Lights. The extra light cheese slice.
To get hair back in shape, Rorn introduces their new Style Shaper
with heated bristles to smooth hair and special ribbing to add shape.
Cordless and totally portable, the new Braun Style Shaper
gets hair back in shape anytime, anywhere.
Gee, boo, my whole family loves you.
Monday.
Then she was TV's original bottle blonde.
How about those sandwiches?
The most interesting thing about my Genie bottle that very few people know
is that it was a whiskey bottle.
It was the Christmas Jim Beam bottle in 1964 or 5.
Now, Barbara Eden performs in night clubs in America
and markets the all-new Genie doll, all yours, for just $1,000.
Genie was a superhero in her own bumbling way,
but the trouble with being a superhero is that one minute you're leaping tall buildings in a single bound,
and the next you can't even jump a doll queue.
However, these next superheroes were a little bit more fortunate.
Now, I still wear the costume, but only on two occasions each year.
One is Halloween here in the States when I go trick-or-treating with my daughter,
and the other is very private moments with my wife.
Bert Ward is not kidding. From the first episode he played Robin,
Bert found out that women go wild over a man who wears his underpants on the outside.
Excuse me.
Careful, Robin.
I think it's a lady.
I was a naive kid, and I came into Batman, I met Adam West,
who immediately introduced me to the wildest sexual debauchery you can imagine.
I mean, within a few months we were like two hungry sharks in a world of unlimited halibut.
The sexual conquests of the dynamic duo are the subject of Bert Ward's new book,
Boy Wonder, My Life in Tights.
The pantyhose python was poised to strike while his junior partner watched and learned.
Like Dracula casting his spell upon beautiful young women to make them swoon helplessly,
the senior member of the dynamic duo was in the final stages of preparing his evening meal.
We had girls in our dressing rooms at 7.30 in the morning,
and then throughout the day on the set, behind the set, in the lunch wagon.
As the royalties from his red-hot memoirs roll in, Bert relaxes on his ranch,
90 kilometers east of L.A., raising, of all things, Great Danes.
And while we chew over Bert's X-rated version of the Caped Crusader's sexploits,
how did the man who played Batman react to his revelations?
Unfortunately, Adam is going through what I would best describe as
holy damage control at home.
He's been caught with his bat trunks down, and he's going through a holy weenie roast.
Holy weenie roast? To the Batcave, Bert, and stay there till we call you.
Hey, look, let's raise the tone a little with this next superhero.
She was part robot, mostly human, and an all-American gal.
MUSIC
The makers of the bionic woman took an attractive schoolteacher,
dropped her out of an airplane, then rebuilt her into a 70s-style superhero.
I'm one of the few people I know who have been resurrected on national television.
They even threw in a bionic dog as a running mate.
MUSIC
The series made Lindsay Wagner a star.
There were plenty of movie offers, but Lindsay didn't approve of the roles
Hollywood was giving its leading women.
It was this swing of the pendulum.
Women wanted out of the kitchen. They didn't want to be Donna Reed anymore.
And so the movie's answer to that was, fine, take off your clothes, we'll rape you,
we'll beat you, and we'll throw you out the window naked.
So Lindsay made TV movies, lots of them.
In fact, she claims the record for the most starring roles in TV features.
To the point where the bear is driven to a point of exhaustion,
the hunter will come out and basically kill the helpless animal.
You'll see it look up.
Trophy Kill will be TV movie number 33, based on this documentary about poaching.
Lindsay is co-producing as well as starring in the project.
She was forced to shoot to keep her cover, so it was very emotional for her,
but she had to do it to keep her cover.
Lindsay knows the influence of television, which is why she only recently allowed
her children to watch bionic woman reruns.
I've been too young, in my opinion, to watch them, because when they watch them,
they're watching their mom, they're not watching some superhero.
Before the bionic woman and Batman, all our TV heroes wore cowboy hats.
They rode and shot their way from the silver screen straight into the tube.
Bounty hunters, trail herders, gunslingers, sheriffs, marshals, outlaws,
and cattle rustlers stampeded across our TV screens.
I only wish John Wayne had made a TV series.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, Pilgrim, don't change that channel, or I'll fill yourself full of lead.
Every time you sit down, you'll make a pencil mark.
You're under arrest.
Me too?
No, just Mr. Masterson.
You're wearing a gun.
And then there was Wyatt Earp.
He always got the bad guy, but strangely, he never got the girl.
I don't even remember if I ever did kiss a girl on Wyatt Earp.
I want to see if we can get you to do a sort of an Australian crawl.
When Hugh O'Brien finally did get to pucker up,
it was to one of our own lasses during a TV special he made here.
The Widowmaker now hangs on his office wall,
but Hugh is still forging a better America with the Hugh O'Brien Youth Foundation.
Its aims?
The purpose is to seek out, recognize, and develop leadership in high school sophomores,
15, 16-year-old young people.
And we have quite a few young people that come to our World Congress from Australia.
Hugh started the group after a chance meeting with Dr. Albert Schweitzer.
One of the things that the great humanitarian said to me,
the most important thing in education is teaching young people to think for themselves.
And for all his popularity as Wyatt Earp,
the growing army of new fans gives Hugh O'Brien the greatest pleasure.
I average about 25,000 letters a year,
and you couldn't give me a million bucks for any one of them.
Remember these?
Nah, it's not one of Jeff Harvey's ferret.
Could be.
This is a coonskin cap from the days of Davy Crockett and Daniel Boone.
Kids all around the world wore them.
Well, the same man who played Davy Crockett played Daniel Boone, Vest Parker.
And Daniel Boone was a man, yes a big man.
Davy Crockett and Daniel Boone were pioneer shows for merchandising.
It was worldwide.
It encompassed every article from the toothbrush to window curtains.
I would guess that the business would translate into perhaps a billion or so.
Walt Disney gave Vest Parker 10% of all merchandising when he signed for Davy Crockett.
And here's the windfall.
Welcome to Vest Parker wines in the Santa Ynez Valley, Santa Barbara.
Mother Nature gives us a big leg up,
and our winemaking staff likes to say that she does at least 80%,
and if we just stay out of the way, everything will be great.
Having a famous name in one business is no guarantee of success in another.
The first Vest Parker vintages were ordinary by his own admission.
Those were not happy years.
I mean, they were busy.
We were working hard.
But when we began to make wine, that would begin to win awards
and have people tell us that they really enjoyed the wine.
It is a great buzz.
I mean, you get a big kick out of it.
Okay, here it is.
And you can even get one of these little hats with it.
This is a true bottle cap.
Sorry about that.
The Wild West was no place for the faint-hearted,
and America sent its bravest to guard the frontier outposts.
Now, I don't know what that means,
but in about 10 minutes, this place will be filled with Indians.
Any slip-ups and McConnell could close Fort Courage.
That's your problem.
That'll be the end of Oroak Enterprises.
That's still your problem.
Your cut of the profits.
That's our problem.
We were determined to make them laugh.
And Forest Tucker said, we're going to make them laugh or else.
And so we put a twist on history.
Here we were in partners with the Indians,
who were often smarter than we were.
Sergeant Oroak and Corporal Agarn were a great double act.
Ironically, the original script only had the sergeant, Forest Tucker.
His friend, Larry Storch, had no part in the show.
But Tucker said, listen, if there's a sergeant,
there's got to be a corporal.
I don't know why you shouldn't have a role in this.
And Tucker got me into it with his weight.
We were a great team.
And it was all by accident.
Today, Larry performed stand-up comedy around America,
traveling with his wife, Norma.
The saxophone is not part of the act.
Well, you know, it's from my own amazement that I play.
I'm never going to make any money at it.
I'm going to blow some of the songs that the masters have written.
It delights me no end.
Given the recent spate of movies based on TV shows,
it's hardly surprising that there are plans for a big screen version of F-Troop.
I've got Tom Hanks picked out who's going to play me.
Yeah, well, we won't rush out and buy tickets for that one just yet.
But hang on to your seats for this show, because there's a lot more to come.
We're going to blow the cover off our favorite cops, spies, and private eyes
and be upstaged by those classic scene stealers
and find out how our hottest pinups are looking today.
Next, the TV faces we know and love.
Monday night at the movies.
It's awful quiet in there, babe.
An innocent abroad.
God damn it, my wife's being held for ransom.
A kidnapping.
He could have had a gun.
Like this.
A journey into hell.
You picked up the wrong suitcase.
Frantic.
I hope you know what you're doing, Dr. Rock.
I am an American and I am crazy.
Harrison Ford.
I'm scared.
Are you?
In Roman Polanski's White Knuckle Thriller.
We still have your wife, Doctor, and I still have what you want.
Frantic. Monday, 8.30 on 9.
Survive the city.
No matter how tough it gets.
The new eight seat Land Cruiser Prado.
Oh, what a feeling.
This is my coin collection.
I've been saving them since I was a kid.
Oh, I also collect butterflies.
Let's get one there.
Now my stamp collection needs a little work.
Oh, the mail.
For people who need a little help saving, there's ANZ Progress Saver.
Deposit regularly, don't withdraw, and you can earn double the usual interest.
And this unique statement really shows your progress.
I reached my savings goal.
Now I can holiday in Tahiti and start a seashell collection.
ANZ Progress Saver. That's progress.
Ansett Australia have a great deal of holidays all around Australia.
And at prices to suit everyone's budget.
Call your travel agent or Ansett Australia.
Sydney Harbor Casino proudly presents...
..I'm gonna go and see you guys in a little bit.
If you could tell me...
..Caroline, I'll divide.
How do you sleep that so soft?
I enjoy going to the armouries if I look forward to it.
That you're actually doing something that's worthwhile.
I've become a better person.
I've realised a lot more about myself.
I've learned different things about loading aircraft,
dispatching from your aircraft.
made me more disciplined and I feel discipline is very important as a pilot.
One weekend a month, two weeks a year, give yourself an edge. The Army Reserve, call 13 19 02.
16 brilliant songs, one inspirational lady, Celine Dion's number one album falling into you.
And now your Estee Lauder gift is at Grace Brothers with mascara, enlightened makeup,
and two full-size lipsticks. Valued at over a hundred dollars, it's yours with any Estee Lauder
purchase of thirty eight dollars or more. Now at Grace Brothers. Unlike film and theater,
the advantage of television is that it's right there in your own home. Sort of a family thing,
isn't it? Every week you invite TV personalities into your lounge room and let's face it,
that's more than you do for some of your relatives.
People have got the impression that you are still 17 and I must admit that I have put on
a lot of weight. Brian Davies made TV history when at 17 he became the world's youngest TV
compendium. And suddenly you're looking back 35 years, where's it all gone? The turkey platter.
Do you want that, Ron? Tuesday is show day for Brian. He's the star attraction at clubs around
New South Wales and everyone's a winner. 25. What a show. Win, win, win. Let's get into it.
This song jumped up 25. It's by Sack Like a Rugger. Drama 37 this week. Belongs to Elton John's
called Heartache. Yes, it's that cyclone from the music show Sounds. Today Donnie Sutherland works
on radio and hosts promotions in pubs. But he'll always remember the day, nine years ago, when we
heard Sounds for the very last time. Bank manager cried. I've cried for many years. I also had a
really, really bad business loss that same year. So I was broke for many years and luckily grey
hound dogs, which I have an involvement in, have sort of sorted out my life and I'm nearly back to
square one again. Time shall go for you. You have a 2 million budget. Hey, you are 100 to 1 and you've
got to be able. You've got to stop, look and listen or you'll never know what you've been missing.
That catchy little tune provided the perfect opening number to the 40 years of television
celebrations. So who are those guys? Well, back in the 60s, they were booked for every variety
show around. They were the Hari Dargi quintet. They were the pop stars of the day. You'll find the stars of variety and radio will all come on to your house by a video. When you're at home by the fire, it won't be hard to realize your heart's desire.
Today, Hari Dargi's quintet has been replaced by an all-girl group called the Dargi Four, led by Hari's daughter, Lynn.
I suppose we were among the first of the groups that were a combination of music and entertainment.
And I think that that opened the door for a lot of other things that happened. Mr. Hari Dargi.
In the 60s, Hari was a star in his own right. Today, he still loves the spotlight, performing with his talented Dargi clan.
It's very Carnaby Street, don't you feel? Yeah, you could say that. You can tell the difference, can't you, between one off the hook and a 90 quid one?
In my first six years of Channel 9, I really didn't have a lot in common with Graham. He'd say to me hurtful things like, Philip, I wish you'd go and get the measles, or I wish you'd trip on your rosary beads,
or I wish you'd choke on your son Christopher medal. And I think he really meant it.
Philip Brady was a fall guy who fell on his feet. Fresh out of school, he landed an announcer's job at Channel 9, Melbourne.
Suddenly, here I am saying, stay tuned to Channel 9 for Kit Carson, Frontier Scout, brought to you by Kellogg's All-Brown.
The funny thing is, the engagement at Channel 9 was definitely for a fortnight. We only need you for two weeks.
But the people who employed me forgot that, and I stayed for 13 years.
Today, that smooth voice is heard across the Victorian airwaves.
It's a wonderful evening here at 3AW, and are we gonna have some fun? It should be quite a show for you tonight, folks.
Mike Preston was one of the most versatile TV stars of the 60s and 70s, a true showbiz Superman.
I jumped off ships. I was attacked by guard dogs. I went to the commando class, you know, and was attacked by commandos.
Um, I wrestled.
No, Billy Robbins, son of a...
But Mike had more variety than a variety show could hold and crossed over to drama.
When I was doing Homicide, and we were shooting a scene in the road in Melbourne, and suddenly a motorcyclist collided with a car.
And he came skidding down the road on his back, this motorcyclist. This is the truth, true story.
He came skidding down, and he landed right at our feet. There was Len Teal, who's now gone, of course, George Malaby and myself.
And he skidded to a stop, and he looked up, and he saw the... and the confusion. He just had an accident, right?
He saw three cups. He said, Christ, that was quick.
Now in Los Angeles, Mike's still in demand for film and TV roles.
But he has an interesting sideline, a business idea that came from years of being chauffeured around town.
And I thought, well, why can't I, Abdulimmo? And I get paid for taking the actions, right?
So I started off with one limousine and one Lincoln. These are all Lincoln cars. They're the best.
A Lincoln sedan and a Lincoln stretch, which is what we're on now. And I built up to six cars.
It's so good that you'll be glad you decided to smile.
As Mike's limo drives off into the sunset, his career is still dawning.
Hey, I'm a poet.
All right, now to a reunion that really is wonderful.
What show had a giggling host, really big microphones, mad cap reporters, crazy carry-on, and a celebrity canine?
Welcome to the Wonder World.
Welcome to the Wonder World.
There was Captain Simon Townsend and his roving reporters, including Edith Bliss, Brett Clements, Philip Tanner, Sheridan Jovins and the zany Jonathan Coleman.
It's a reunion complete with Simon's scrapbooks that sparked many memories.
Do you remember this one? Wonder World cameraman injured at Birdman rally in Adelaide.
And that produced the best fan letter we ever had from a kid who said, I saw that Cameron had got injured.
I'm closing for my pocket money, one dollar towards the cost of your new camera and repairing him. Remember that?
Today is a double celebration. 40 years of TV and 40 years of Jonathan Coleman. Who said they'd never make it?
Oh, that's lovely.
I hope it's low-cal.
Birthday boy Jonathan Coleman is doing very well as a radio announcer in London.
Sheridan Jovins is a successful filmmaker for Edith Bliss. Looking after young Harrison is a full-time job.
Philip Tanner and Brett Clements call themselves a couple of cowboys exporting video games to the world. Simon Townsend's developing board games.
And then there's the member of the team that can't be with them today.
Hey, whatever happened to Woodrow? That's what I want to do.
Woodrow died. He made front page for City.
Please remember, yep, Philip really is wonderful. Bye.
On a current affair, the incredible story of a man who lost his memory.
I definitely lost the man I'd married.
He didn't even know his wife of 36 years.
He'll someday, so I was determined to fight for him.
But now something wonderful has happened.
It's just sort of woke up.
After 10 long years, he's got it back. Plus, they were our genius kids.
Some people think I'm the smartest person in the world.
But has that meant success and happiness? You'll be surprised how they turned out.
Computer programmer and scientist. I've narrowed it down to two.
Next week.
With creamy Nestle yogurt in a size just right for lunchboxes,
new Nestle lunchbox yogurts may have your children taking extra friends to school.
Nestle lunchbox yogurt, a fresh taste for life.
Having trouble getting into your jeans? Get into the jeans that fit. Riders by Lee.
Hello. Can you ask mummy if she has any old clothes for our church jumble sale?
Oh, just let me.
Here you are.
Oh, you tell your mummy, thank you very much.
Mom, I can't find my school clothes.
You can get away with anything in Rio.
A good health message from childcare author, Carla Fellows.
She never ceases to amaze me just how fast children of this age grow each year.
And as they grow, they need enough calcium to properly develop their bones.
To make sure your children are getting enough calcium, give them a balanced diet,
which includes three serves of dairy foods a day. Then you know they'll grow up big and strong.
Just like this guy.
Brought to you by the Australian Dairy Corporation.
Have I been to the Gold Coast?
Oh, yeah. On the phone.
My mum retired last year to cool and getter.
We still talk. We're still really close.
But she's still far too far away.
Get closer to family and friends. Flying Qantas on
reward points earned by paying for your Telstra accounts with the new Qantas Telstra Visa.
And why not do something different this Saturday? Book a table here at Rose Hill Gardens.
There's great entertainment between races. It's only six dollars entry.
Kids under 18 and parking are free. Come on out to Rose Hill Gardens.
We'll look after you.
It's great entertainment.
One of the greatest films of all time, The Fugitive, 8.30 Sunday.
Then Vic Gordon was Australia's favourite desk sergeant on Matlock Police.
The years just fly by. I mean, I came to Australia in 1959. I was going to stay for 16 weeks.
I've been there ever since.
Now, Vic's hung up the Matlock phone. But that doesn't mean they won't be calling him for his next acting job.
I've enjoyed every minute of it. But now I'm 18.
They don't write parts of grandpas.
For decades, TV cops, spies and private eyes have been keeping the screen safe for all of us.
Our defenders of justice have always had their work cut out for them.
Especially when you're doing battle with a villainous spy from the opposite side of the Iron Curtain.
This week, Hunter has his first face-off with the police.
This week, Hunter has his first face-to-face encounter with his archenemy, Craig.
Hi, Tom.
Be with him just a moment.
Okay.
My god, Craig!
Here's me without a gun, too.
Together again, Hunter and his nemesis, Craig.
But for the men who played them, Tony Ward and Gerard Kennedy,
it's been 25 years since their paths have crossed.
Well, great to see you.
Yes, you too.
After a life of evil, Craig saw the light and joined the forces of good with Hunter.
Well, you remember when you got shot and defected and joined us?
Yes.
I never trusted you.
No.
Never trusted you for a minute.
Shark!
So I volunteered to get underneath this dead shark, which is still quite warm,
to make it move for camera. And I was underneath it.
And I was underneath it. And there were these huge jaws right in my face.
Felt awful.
I didn't know that.
I was the animator.
Back on dry land, Tony now owns an antique print and map gallery.
Gerard is still in the game, but these days, on the big screen.
You're in there all the time. Where am I gonna sleep?
We might do a revival at some stage.
Then or otherwise.
Well, the question is, what side would you be on?
Exactly.
Craig wasn't the only one who mended his wicked ways.
This next baddie fired more shots than any criminal in the history of homicide.
But he ended up becoming one of the show's most loved crime fighters.
You name it, and I did it.
Robbed, pillaged, whatever. And even the police believed it.
You know, when I changed into the detective, they thought it was marvelous.
I didn't get a speeding ticket for the next 10 years.
And that's a true story.
Playing detective Patterson put Norman Yim on the right side of the law
and made him a household face.
If only the fans could get the name right.
He said, aren't you one of the detectives on homicide?
I said, yeah, that's right.
And he said, well, look, that's my favorite show.
I said, oh, thanks very much. My ego, you see.
Thanks very much. He said, here, can I shake your hand?
I said, certainly. So I shook his hand and he said,
I can't wait until I get home and tell my wife I've met Leonard Teale at last.
These days, life's quite a balancing act for Norman.
Ah, sweet mystery of life at last. I found thee.
At the moment, I'm rehearsing this play for the best of Gilbert and Sullivan.
In this show, I've got to ride a unicycle.
I'm more on the floor than offered.
Oh, but I will conquer it.
Isn't there a law against that?
Now, despite what they made you believe,
Russell Street was by no means the crime capital of the world.
Thousands of kilometers away, the boys on Hollywood's Sunset Strip
also had some bad guys to bust.
Charlie!
77 Sunset Strip was our number one show as Australian TV tuned into the 60s.
The suave P.I. role made Ephraim Zimbalist, Jr. a huge star.
Starring Ephraim Zimbalist, Jr.
Now, Ephraim still acts from time to time and swings a mean club on his Santa Barbara ranch.
I love golf. I play a lot of it and pretty bad golf, too.
I don't know what I'd do if I didn't play golf because it occupies quite a lot of my life and I'm not working.
While Ephraim's golf may not win him any prizes, playing TV detectives did.
When making the FBI files, J. Edgar Hoover entrusted the actor to carry a real bed.
When we made the show, these credentials that I had had to be photographed so they had to be real.
I signed my own name, Lewis Erskine, and he signed J. Edgar Hoover.
And they were the only credentials that he ever signed except for an Asian because they were real.
I mean, I could have held up a bank. I could have done anything with these credentials.
Just a minute, sir. Just a moment. Just a moment.
I ain't gonna fart on this.
Yes, well, I will return.
Crawford's had a lot of courage in my career.
I will return. Crawford's had a lot of courage in writing that sort of policeman.
We, in fact, thought we'd be in a lot of trouble. In fact, the policeman were very nice about it.
And people, in fact, even today are called Roy, you know, if they're one of these guys to stumble and bumble around.
Gil Tucker brought something new to Australian TV cops.
I wanted to make a number of phone calls.
Oh, no, no, there'll be no phone calls made during working hours.
We'd never laughed at the boys in blue before. Roy Baker became a star attraction.
I remember once going to the Collingwood football ground and the cheerleader stood up and, you know, got them to say Roy Baker.
And it's a bit daunting when 20,000 people stand up to say Roy Baker and I thought, well, there's something happening here.
Now, with the cheers of the crowd behind him, Gil's running a wholesale herb business in Melbourne.
Well, I think having been associated with Fresh Produce for the past seven or eight years and going out to the Footscray Market
and having my previous history involved in showbiz, I think it'd be great to marry the two.
I'm sure there's a series in it somewhere.
This isn't quite working out.
He did the unthinkable by beating the Americans at their own game.
As the equalizer, Edward Woodward was voted TV's sexiest cop.
Now it's working out.
Don Johnson came second to me as the most sexy man on television.
And I mean, see, her ladyship, this is exactly what she did when she read it.
He's mine, I got him.
How can you be the sexiest man on television when you snore all night?
Yeah.
You can't be the sexiest man.
And I was of a certain age, you know, and it was just about...
There's no need to give, you know, the whole of Australia, come on, do me a favor, you know.
No, he's a very sexy person.
Her ladyship is none other than Michelle Dautrice,
who you may recognize from a past TV partnership.
It's just that sometimes when I look at you, I get so depressed.
Today, the only thing that drags this famous couple away from their English
eaten in Cornwall is work.
And sometimes they get to share the stage as well.
I remember when we did Rich the Third together.
I didn't enjoy living with Rich the Third.
That was not a pretty sight.
Difficult to get to bed with this man with this giant...
No, no, but you were hell.
You were hell.
We sometimes keep horses in the inside.
Away from the stage, there's still a double act,
and one that very rarely plays to the public.
You're supposed to come under here and do a tiggle.
This is puppy training.
We're actually sitting in teeming rain,
which we wouldn't do for a lot of people, would we?
No, not a lot.
We'd only do it for you.
No, it's not.
It's fine English rain.
Fine English rain.
He's punching away at that eye, the injured one.
Years before the Gladiators hulked into being,
guys like Mario Molano worked up a real sweat on screen.
That was then.
Next, Mario Molano now.
Because what you did to me, I will never forget,
and every chance I have to get in the ring with you,
are you gonna pay for.
Visions free
Hey, hey!
It's nap day!
It's contagious!
You said it was nood day!
An all-natural high!
It won't happen overnight, but it will happen!
This week, Tanny DeVito, Mark Morrison, Jeff Aveks,
and Stephen Cummings, 6.30 Saturday on 9.
Oi!
We've been waiting for you.
Now, Beastie needs a jump start.
You reckon your machine's up to it?
The powerful Vienna V6.
Ready when you are.
Give everything else on the road, the big V.
He gave us a big V!
The big V.
Oh, what a feeling!
Huh?
32 on the arc!
Are you blind?
32 offensive foul!
Get your hands checked.
Let's go get some pizza, man.
Nothing brings people together like a nice hot pizza from Pizza Hut.
I'll get it, guys.
Get your Shaq sports bottle for $1 at...
Pizza Hut!
This is what Brash's Super September's all about.
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And with Brash's six months interest free, take it home today and pay nothing till March 97.
Brash's Super September. You just can't beat it.
Stalovich is orchestrating it.
But is he gonna take it?
Yes he is.
Stalovich scores!
From now on, Lotto is giving away a million dollars on Monday and Wednesday.
That's two million dollars every week.
And let's face it, you've got a better chance of winning if you get two shots.
The Ansett spaceship, the world's most spacious aircraft, is now flying to Japan, Hong Kong, Taiwan, Korea, Malaysia, Indonesia and New Zealand.
The service is out of this world.
A Citibank credit card with your photo gives you recognition and security.
Wherever you go, whatever you do, the world has your name on it.
And to keep it there, the city never sleeps.
It's crunch time.
You've gotta lighten up and make a bit of fun of it while I concentrate on the job at hand.
Joanna has hit the lead.
We can't be in the lead.
But anything could happen.
I don't know, I can't think.
The final sale of the century's 40 years of television, Monday on 9.
Today, Mario Molano moves stock for a Melbourne furniture company.
Seven years after retiring from wrestling, Italy's gentle giant still encounters the occasional disgruntled fan.
He says, you cost me a lot of money because one day I was watching TV and you were wrestling and I got upset.
I got the chair and broke the television.
So you blame me.
Now there's a man who let his actions speak louder than his words.
Mario was a scene stealer.
Whenever he entered the ring, the audience hushed.
Most shows have their own scene stealers.
Even if they're not the star, they have that knack of grabbing your attention with a single line or a look.
Let me introduce you to one of the great scene thieves of television.
Thank you, Don.
I'll tell you a little bit about myself later in the show.
First, someone who became so famous playing just one role that he almost cast himself out of television altogether.
But as you're about to find out, he found a whole new audience in a very different field.
When MASH was made from a movie into a TV series, the producers came up with an entirely new cast for every character but one.
It seemed Radar O'Reilly was tailor-made for Gary Burkett.
Wow, look at that little Cory. What a moose.
Yeah, he weighs 56 pounds, he's walking around like crazy and he likes to catch bugs and eat them.
That's all I read, sir. Your daughter sends her love.
I'm very proud to have played Radar.
He was a character that touched me personally and was a very special part of me.
Thank you, Radar. When I die, I'm willing you my height.
After leaving the series, Gary struggled to find good roles.
Casting directors couldn't see past the little guy in Army Fatigues and Glasses.
But I wasn't Radar O'Reilly. I was Gary Berghoff, actor who had worked almost 20 years to get to that point where I could be given a chance to create good characters.
And I didn't want people to think of me only as Radar, even though I loved him dearly.
And so it was a very difficult period for me during that time.
Gary found another way to express his talents. A self-taught painter, he was inspired by the fauna of Northern California.
The older I get, I'm 52 years old now, I feel so grateful for life.
And when I look into the eye of an animal and I have an eye-to-eye contact with that animal, I see the spark of life.
I mean, God is alive all around us. It's a miracle.
Most actors spend a lifetime trying to achieve just 15 minutes of fame. Others only need 30 seconds.
You know you're soaking in it. Dishwashing liquid. Relax. It's Parmolive.
Remember Madge? Questionable methods as a hand care therapist maybe, but she did know how to sell a product.
I couldn't walk down the street or get on a bus or do anything without people saying, you're Madge, hello Madge, or don't I know you?
Rubina Beard is back to what she did before Madge bubbled into being.
Without me. One, two, three, four.
Once a week she gives dance lessons in Sydney South, dividing the rest of her time between dance committees and her theatre consultancy.
I absolutely love little children and I love to teach them and to watch them grow.
And I go from five, six year olds up to teenagers and I get to know them as people and watch them grow up.
For these young starlets she's like a goddess. To their mums and dads she'll always be Madge.
Madge enabled me to do a whole lot of things in my life that I wouldn't have been able to do at other times.
Hello. I'm Mr Red.
Wilbur Post didn't steal many scenes from his fetlocked friend, but these days Alan Young doesn't have to share top billing with anyone.
Alan does character voiceovers in Los Angeles.
I'm Tite too. I'm a Scrooge McDuck, the richest duck in the world.
Giving voice to a duck is easy compared to what the producers did to make Mr Ed talk.
We used whips. We put bamboo shoots under his hoofs.
The trainer, Lester Hilton, was brilliant. He put a soft nylon thread under the horse's upper lip.
A little bit like children get peanut butter under their lip and he tried to get rid of it.
But he would do it on cue. The second year we couldn't shut him up. As soon as I stopped talking his lips began to move.
That's what I like about you, Ed. You're a thinking horse.
And I don't even smoke.
Rest, as they say, is history, which Alan Young has just recorded in his autobiography.
I tell a lot of stories on Ed. Some might be kind of spicy. He worked nude, you know.
Dare I say that straight from the horse's mouth?
Here's something you may not know. Mr Ed was originally financed by George Burns.
It was at first called Mr Ed and Wilbur Pope. But they decided to change the Pope to post because they didn't want to offend the Vatican.
That's a true story.
Hogan, airplane engines don't have a habit of walking away by themselves.
Hogan's Heroes was full of scene stealers, including the very flappable Colonel Clink.
Where exactly was the engine when it got mislaid?
Where was it? Where any engine is supposed to be right here in the plane? That's where it...
At its peak, Hogan's Heroes was seen in 45 countries, and Germany wasn't one of them.
But it is being played there now, somebody tells me. I think they've finally gotten wise to the idea that they could laugh about themselves a little bit too.
You know, that's very hard for Germans to do. They tend to be a little square, if you know what I mean.
And Werner Klemperer should know. Born in Germany, he migrated to the United States before World War II.
When Hogan's Heroes finished, Werner worked on the stage for many years and behind the scenes for Actors Equity.
Today he works in Equity's New York office. Now there's another string to the Klemperer bow.
I narrate with major and minor symphony orchestras all over the United States.
And that's a whole field all of its own, and it's very fascinating.
Before the Second World War came the Great War, a perfect backdrop to a drama about the English class system.
That's 1917. It's going to be a bit better all around than 1916. Let's hope so anyhow.
Initially we wrote downstairs. We only wrote about the servants, but they've got to serve somebody.
So it became downstairs, upstairs, and then upstairs, downstairs.
Co-creating the series allowed Jean Marsh to choose the role she played.
The producers wanted her to be the lady of the house, but instead Jean wanted to play the cockney maid, Rose.
You've got a little glass pen and brush on the stairs. Yes I am, Rose.
First of all they said, well you don't look like a maid, which don't be crazy, you know, because what does a maid look like?
It's so stupid. They said you've got good bone structure, as if the upper class have the exclusive use of cheekbones.
Today Jean is still creating. House of Elliot was a recent success, and now she's either writing novels by hand in London, or rehearsing for a movie mystery.
Whatever I'm doing I want to do the other thing. At the moment I've been writing so much that I'm longing to do the Agatha Christie film.
It seems as if it's going to be a holiday, but then of course when I'm doing that and the hours are prescribed, then I want to go back to writing when nobody knows if I'm working or not.
The lovely Jean Marsh, who together with her sister Yvonne and Jean Simmons were the star pupils at a London drama school that I attended when I was about 16.
I still live in London, a busy life, just finished at the National Theatre, now doing a lot of radio and television work, particularly in documentaries.
In fact I've just played Albert Einstein, which is a far cry from this little chap.
You're a waste of space.
He was a very good character, he's got the license of the court jester.
Oh, so sorry Mr.
Andrew Sacks stole many a scene in Faulty Towers playing Basil's pet Spaniard, Manuel.
Working with John Cleese required very thick skin and a thicker skull.
I complained to him once, I said, John, do you actually have to hit me quite so hard?
Because you're nice in rehearsal, but really on the take and it's a bit much.
He said, Andrew, what are you complaining about? It's not a long run in the West End, it's just once, pull yourself together.
So that's all the charity I got out of him. So I complained, but he forgave me.
We found Andrew on holidays with his family in the South of England.
Being cast so far from type has allowed Andrew to continue his acting career out of the shadow of Manuel.
Take away the mustache and Bartholomew's most famous ambathador is just a face in the crowd.
I remember one occasion I was in the local train at the height of the popularity of Faulty Towers.
And there were two girls opposite me and one was describing the previous night's episode of Faulty Towers.
And they were looking straight at me, they didn't know who I was. That's the way I like it.
Quite a character, isn't he?
All right, coming up, the last laugh with some of our funniest stars.
The men and women who did it all first, TV's trailblazers.
But before that, dreams come true with our sexiest pinups.
They're next.
TV's television in the room.
He slept with her.
It was yummy.
Oh, God.
Merci, TVR9.
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Inside laser printers, there's a curvy paper path where things go mysteriously wrong.
Envelopes get eaten alive, papers get ruined, and you're plagued by paper jams.
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Music
Music
Music
The Ancid Australia spaceship is now flying to seven destinations across Asia Pacific.
The service is out of this world.
Hi Bill, what's for lunch?
We're grilling our way around the world.
Right now, choose French style camembert, bacon and avocado,
flatbread or Italian style grilled vegetable focaccia at Sizzler.
Lunch from $4.95.
Grilling good food at Sizzler.
As siren Kay Webster, Belinda Giblin turned up the heat and got us all to turn on the box.
It was all, I thought, terribly healthy, but yes, it was exciting and fun.
It was a fun series, you know.
Today, Belinda works almost exclusively in theater
and is still proud of the figure that made her so famous.
I'm pretty fit.
I like a lot of exercise.
So I've kept the same weight, I think, since the age of 16.
I haven't changed.
Picture this scene from the Young Doctors.
It's a life and death situation at the Albert Memorial Hospital,
but no one's looking at the patient.
We can't take our eyes off Karen Penny's surgically fitted uniform
and Eric Oldfield's trousers.
I mean, they can't be good for his health.
You're his voice.
TV's pinups are remembered long after their show ends.
I tell you one thing, your brother certainly knows what it's all about.
She was real floozy, but she was fun.
The nurses' uniforms were probably the hardest part
because you happened to lose an ounce and it was taken in.
So it was sometimes quite hard to handle.
Hello, Ada.
Just squeeze into those pants.
Somebody sew them onto you.
No, I just look after my figure.
These days, Karen Penny and her family run a kiosk at Cottage Point
on Sydney's Hawkesbury River.
It's been fantastic to bring up children
because they've got boats and water and fishing
and all the things that all the kids dream about,
and we were able to work here at the same time.
So we were always with the kids and we found that very important.
Careful with that arm. We want to see Felicity.
Oh, yeah, sure. This doesn't look corny, does it?
Believe me, it's just grey.
They tended to say I was a sex symbol, rubbish.
I had the opportunity of working with some very pretty ladies,
and that was fun.
I did a couple of nude scenes, much to my dear mother's worry,
but they were all done in jest.
Just grey, that's it.
Stripping for the box was a new experience for Ken James.
Oh, hell! Oh, you were just straight, love.
See you again, eh?
We were all terrified.
It was very new to Australian television.
They closed the set and they said, you know,
they're flesh-coloured knickers, and I said, of course.
But, yeah, that was just a part of it.
I can remember the comedy of the box more than anything else.
And while many will remember the pecs and the chest hair,
Ken has an impressive list of credits,
35 years of knowledge which today he's sharing
at the Academy of Television in Melbourne.
I teach hosting and presenting and also teach comedy.
I'm the senior tutor here at the Academy.
I just pass on my experience.
It is time to relax at the junction.
Life was simple and oh-so down home in Petticoat Junction.
Every mum wanted their sons to marry a girl called Jo.
Billy Jo, Bobby Jo or Betty Jo.
The boys wanted them and the girls wanted to be them.
There were girls who would come up to me and say,
you know, when we come home from school,
we play Petticoat Junction and I'm you.
And I always... I took that very seriously.
And so it's very, very important, I think,
to have had a good image for these kids.
Linda Henning won the role of Betty Jo Bradley in 1963
and was the only sister to stay with the show
until the Hooterville Cannonball made its final stop in 1970.
Now he thinks we're going steady.
Maybe you're getting irresistible to the opposite sex.
Well, I've loved animals all my life.
And in a sense, Betty Jo's character always loved animals.
The dog followed her home, you know, from school.
Today, Linda works as an education officer
at the Los Angeles Zoo.
You like them?
You know how to tell the difference between a seal and a sea lion?
Linda spends one day a week at the zoo.
She still earns her living as an actor, usually in radio.
But is she still recognized as that sweet innocent
she played 30 years ago?
Yeah. Yes.
All the time. In fact, after the animal show,
there's always at least one person who comes up to me and says,
aren't you Betty Jo?
Actor John Forsyth was considered the luckiest man on TV in the late 70s.
We only ever saw the back of his head in a show in which he reigned
over the hottest trio of pistol-packing PIs to ever hit our screens.
He was Charlie, and they were his angels.
Put it down, nice and slow.
We took such flack, in a way, for the show being sort of tit-a-n-ass
and titillating and everything, but if you sit and you watch the show,
we were like Girl Scouts.
What is it, Charlie?
Cheryl Ladd replaced Farrah Fawcett as angel Chris Monroe.
She quickly realized that a bikini was more important than a police badge.
Not in the fight for justice,
but in producer Erin Spelling's fight for ratings.
One of the big battles, I went in and I said,
look, Erin, I know that part of the reason you hired me
is you like the way I look in a bathing suit.
That's fine, I understand, but could we be near water, somehow,
a swimming pool on a boat at the beach,
somewhere where it would be appropriate to have a bathing suit on?
While Charlie's angels made Cheryl Ladd a household figure,
she spent the past 15 years trying to cross back over the credibility gap
with serious teledramas.
Letting people know that I was something other than Chris Monroe.
That I could do something and then say, freeze.
Hello.
Where's she?
Am I supposed to know every good-looking woman in this hospital?
Well, you usually make it your business to.
I get to work with attractive women, so there'll be a lot of guys who'll be jealous.
But I can assure you, of course, it's usually very clinical,
and I know most actors say that,
but it sort of spoils the image, doesn't it, saying it's clinical?
You shouldn't really say, hey, you know, it really does happen.
I know you're not going to wink.
I know what I want.
Eric Oldfield's bedside manner steamed up the young doctors in the 1970s.
Today, he's using his healing hands on a landscape business
on the New South Wales North Coast.
A laid-back lifestyle with plenty of time to surf with his son.
It's wonderful living up here.
The pace of life is different,
but I still commute when the jobs are there and they really want to see me.
So, not real wealthy, but I guess I'm rich in a lot of other things.
So, I guess I've landed on my feet.
I've been a good pussycat.
From a good pussycat to a cool cat,
he put the cell into celebrity and turned TV stardom into a merchandising bonanza.
You know, you're going to look so strange walking in the street with this, aren't you?
Oh, but Fonz, I really wanted something to remember this night by.
Well, then take this on.
One thing that I would not allow them to manufacture were girls' underpants with my picture on it.
I thought that was going too far.
You know, there were bath mats, there were socks, there was Fonz-y everything, actually.
Not bad considering the Fonz started life as a minor player and ended up stealing the show.
Happy days ran for a decade, and when it ended, Henry Winkler took himself on an acting-free holiday.
I had no desire to act anymore, and I think I did not act for about eight years.
And action!
And he's still avoiding the camera.
Well, the front of it at least.
These days, Henry's a successful Hollywood director and producer.
That was ill-tongued.
Yeah, the Fonz was the bad boy who came to the Cunninghams for dinner.
Now to a good girl who you'd like to invite to dinner, but you never wanted to cook it.
Don't worry, I like it bent.
Lisa Goddard was 18 when she played Skippy's lovable Clancy. Sharing the screen with heart-throb chopper pilot Tony Bonner made her the envy of every teenage girl.
So it's a good thing they kept their real-life love affair a secret.
I couldn't go on the beach, couldn't go anywhere without people screaming, particularly if I went anywhere with Tony Bonner, because of course girls would scream and come and throw themselves at him.
After the bounding success of Skippy, Lisa set out to see the world. Arriving in London 27 years ago, she settled and stayed.
Now she works in theatre and lives on a farm in Norfolk.
Just her, the husband, five dogs, three horses, two cats and two teenagers.
But she still misses chatting with the vocal room.
Well, kangaroos make a horrible noise. They sort of go, hhhhhh.
And it was decided that wasn't a very suitable noise for children's programmes.
And so the sound man invented, and I think did the noise as well.
And yet that is the thing that most people remember. The emus were the worst because they were absolutely violent.
So what they had to do was give it half a bottle of whisky, this emu, and then it was OK.
If they gave it a bottle, of course it fell over drunk and then the next day had to hang over and was even worse.
It was a horrible bad.
Roman Polanski's Frantic, 8.30 Monday.
The fugitive's name is Dr. Richard Kimmel.
And Sunday night he joins Tommy Lee Jones in one of the greatest films of all time.
I'm not trying to solve a puzzle.
Well, I am trying to solve a puzzle.
Harrison Ford is the fugitive, 8.30 Sunday, then Frantic Monday on 9.
The big time Sydney harbour casino.
Riverdance. The original international dance sensation is on its way.
As seen on ABC TV, Riverdance, the show touring Australia, March 1997. Book now.
You've got to go into investment with your eyes open. It's not like design.
Taking the right combinations and making something from them.
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I like the way they look at investing differently. It works.
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Michael has asthma. He also has a caring family. A good doctor. And of course, his local Amcal chemist.
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You won't find it anywhere else.
The Ansett Space Ship, the world's most spacious aircraft, is now flying to Japan, Hong Kong, Taiwan, Korea, Malaysia, Indonesia and New Zealand.
The service is out of this world.
Then she was Australia's contribution to the space race, in touch with the cosmos and on nerve centers.
This Afghanistan is Russia's Vietnam, right? And realizing that Vietnam's Vietnam is Kempachea, I think that we should really say that Poland is Russia's Kempachea.
Now Mary Keneally works with the Performing Arts Museum in Melbourne and occasionally in Cabaret. But whatever happened to her alter ego, Debbie?
Debbie will be really tackling the hard issues still. Making sure that women aren't left to dine halls in the internet, which men have left after, you know, multiple hanging 10, 20, whatever.
She may be an arts bureaucrat. You never know.
Money or your life. And finally, Jack said, I'm thinking, I'm thinking.
On Australian television, the longest laugh is credited to my old mate, Bert Newton and the legendary, Joff Ellen. There was no punchline, no dialogue at all.
But it was, as they say, a buffalo piece of business.
It went on for about three, four minutes, the laugh. We walked around, milked it as hard as we could go. And it's the biggest laugh I think I've ever heard.
We've reunited two of TV's greatest funny people. Joff Ellen was Graham Kennedy's sidekick for many years. And as for Rosie Sturgis, remember this line?
That was a joke, Joyce.
This is Joyce.
I can't laugh, Joyce, because they didn't tell me.
And I can never say to Graham, oh, I suppose we'd have to be, we'd have to be 75 at least, wouldn't we?
He said yes. And I come and say, and George, George. He'd say, what is it there with the teeth out? And I'm 75 now.
Joff and Rosie remain good friends 45 years after they first locked Funny Bones.
You still look as good as the day off, don't you?
With the glasses, do you?
Rosie realized at an early age that there was more money in being funny than in tap dancing.
Now that she's in retirement, she can afford to kick up her heels.
Joff has his sights set on becoming Australia's oldest living comic.
I'm trying, I'm going to knock off George Burns. He's 100. I'm trying to get 101. I'll retire. But I'm not out 81 coming up. I'll get 100 and then I'll knock off.
Say goodnight, Dick.
Good night, Dick.
Good night, everybody.
Martin and the late Dan Rowan presided over a team of groundbreaking comics in Laugh-In.
Fortunately, most of the humor passed over the heads of the network censors.
Potpourri. You know, P-O-T. P-O-T. Well, the T is there. You just don't pay any attention to it.
We had seven marijuana jokes in the first show and the censors couldn't find one of them.
Laugh-In showcased an array of new and old talent. It may even have helped elect a U.S. president.
Mr. Richard Nixon came on our show and said, sock it to me. Well, everyone was amazed because in October he was elected by a mere one million votes.
Dick has no plans to retire just yet. There's too much to do.
I work four or five jobs a year acting and maybe direct six, eight shows a year directing.
The rest of the time is split between his home in Malibu and this little shack in Bel Air,
handy to the golf course and filled with keepsakes of the best job he ever had.
Oh, yes. I've been to worst parties. Oh, we had a ball. Couldn't wait to go to work.
Our motto, as it were, in the program was we do anything any time. And that was the beauty of the program.
You could just take the goodies approach to absolutely anything.
Bill Ardie has now taken the goodies approach to bird watching.
It's been my hobby since I was a kid. I never really intended to make it work.
A string of books and documentaries has kept Bill in the public eye.
People think of me now as the bird man in this country.
Bill's standout memory of the goodies is the collaboration of three comic geniuses.
Well, two out of three, he reckons.
Here we come into town.
Graham and I wrote it with Tim's pen, basically, and we used to pay him a certain amount of money to keep out of the way.
And he had a few ideas, and then we said, well, that's it. Thank you very much. You go away and play golf.
The only people funnier than the English are the Irish.
And one of Ireland's best comics is Dave Allen.
In fact, it was Dave's departure from Australia that opened the door for me to enter into my 31 years of Australian TV.
Dave Allen left a pretty big pair of shoes to fill. They loved him here.
You see, he cut his teeth on Australian television.
I will do a quick impression of an IRA man looking for a landmine.
Dave Allen was plucked from the nightclubs of Sydney and thrown into the deep end of variety television.
He learned to swim very, very quickly.
It was loose and easy, and we were all babies. Nobody knew what we were doing.
What worked in the clubs didn't always translate to family viewing during a live show.
Dave came up with this quip to a studio producer.
Why don't you just go down to the corner of the studio and masturbate?
Now, there was a kind of stunned silence.
It was like people didn't know the word for a second and then suddenly went, oh, yeah, that's what it is.
And then there was an uproar.
And a 12-month ban on Australian TV.
It didn't matter. Dave was going home to England anyway for the next two years.
Whenever he came here, Dave's irreverent sense of humor rubbed off on his studio crew.
But Dave was not always in on the joke.
There was always games going on. From the grid, they drunken onto me an enormous rubber snake.
It's as close as I ever came to shitting myself.
I mean, I went up about the four-letter word came out, everything.
I'm this kind of Irish procrastinator in many ways.
I mean, when I'm working, I work very hard.
When I'm not working, I don't want anything to do at work.
And I drink tea, I paint, I read the newspapers, I go to the theater, listen to music,
spend time with friends, eating, drinking, falling down, getting carried home.
It's all good. It's no different to when I was in Australia.
On the Buses was about as English as a comedy could get.
So it still amazes Reg Varney that they cast an Australian as his cockney mum.
Chips never did anyone any good at all.
They're blowing up our court survival, two sausages.
No, no, no, all right, love, all right. You should have one of Olive's yogurts.
A yoghurt?
She was a lovely speaking woman. She was a lovely woman, you know.
And when we wanted to say, oh, God, my feet are killing, oh, Stan, help me with these shoes,
she was like, oh, God, my feet are killing me.
And I said, no. No, she was wrongly cast. She didn't. She was too classy.
But that wasn't Reg's only relationship to Australia.
Audiences here loved it.
No matter what airport I came into, Darwin, Perth, anywhere, you know, Melbourne, Sydney,
I don't come through the customs. I say, hello, Reg, mate, how are you?
You come home, have you? Oh, oh, marvelous.
Now 80, failing health has confined Reg to Stoke Fleming in England's south.
He still makes it to the local for a pint, is still a dab hand as a painter,
and still laughs when he remembers the time a little old lady mistook Stephen Lewis for a real bus inspector.
What do you mean I can't get on the bus? It's a bus, isn't it?
He said, yeah, well, of course it's a bus.
He said, I'm getting on this bus. He said, we're filming. We're filming.
And she gets on this bus and he said, I'm sorry.
And he gets, oh, she's got her umbrella and she knocks her leg out.
The English, of course, are famous for getting laughs at a man dressing up as ladies.
But our own Dame Edna Everidge went over and showed them a thing or two about dress sense.
And another delightful character wouldn't think of leaving the house without a frock and gloves.
Well, boxing gloves, to be precise.
You better tune in next week to the show, because if you don't I'll come round to your house and I'll rip your bloody arms off.
The Auntie from Auntie.
Graham Bond created Auntie Jack and launched her on the ABC along with a host of support characters.
One, two, one, two, three, four, five.
I mean everywhere, man.
Now Graham Bond and Rory O'Donoghue are reliving their colorful past with a CD of their work.
I mean, woo-lum-gong, woo-lum-gong.
In other pursuits, Rory composes music and Graham, well, he has other relics to dig up.
I've just done an archaeological dig in Cyprus.
I'm looking at an archaeological dig in Tashkent next, possibly an archaeological dig in Jordan.
Dab-dab-boy, dab-dab-dab, and woo-lum-gong.
We've been everywhere, even in that guy.
Yee-hee!
We're vision in the wrong.
Coming up on Nightline, a man killed in a shootout with police.
Catholic scandal as a bishop's second affair is revealed.
And all the latest on the league and AFL finals.
Join us next.
When the outside's hot, when the outside's hot,
When temperatures drop, when temperatures drop,
It feels good inside, when you're glad,
Because you've got it up top.
When colours and shapes let you do such a lot,
Colour, vines, steel, you've got it up top now.
You feel with steel that won't peel, crack or rot.
You've got it up top.
First, the thimble test proved it.
Then, the eyedropper and the special tiny nozzle that made you use less.
Now, new MorningFresh Ultra has a measuring pump that delivers an even tinier amount.
It will save you more because the pump ensures you use even less.
It's up to three times the strength of other dishwashing liquids.
New triple-strength MorningFresh Ultra,
the standard by which all others will be judged.
Cousins guarantee it.
Oh jeepers, creepers, where'd you get those beepers?
Big Jazz from the golden era in Jazz greats.
Every fortnight, a different star on CD or cassette.
60 minutes of jazz.
Just found joy.
And a magazine to give you the stories behind the sounds.
You're mean to me.
Part 1, Billie Holiday, out now, $3.95.
I've spent my life finding the fastest way to get from A to B.
So has Qantas.
With 135 aircraft and 150,000 flights a year carrying 16 million people,
it means when you have to make important business decisions like,
hey, the surf's up at Kira,
Qantas has more ways to get you there and then.
There you are.
I'm still on the strength, oh
Sooner or later we all get one of those annoying little health problems.
Like itchy toes, flaky scalp or irregularity.
The kinds of things you'd rather not talk about, even with friends.
So what can you do?
Well, Caremark can help.
These free, easy-to-read little booklets explain everything.
The causes, the treatment and whether you should seek medical advice.
Look for them at your local Chem Mart.
And remember, when it comes to your health, Chem Mart can help.
Can I help you?
Hello.
Can you ask Mummy if she has any old clothes for our church jumble sale?
Just wait a minute.
Oh, you tell your Mummy thank you very much.
Mum, I can't find my school clothes.
You can get away with anything in Rio.
To see Calabon Steel Roofing,
visit the Impala, Wingcrest, Rosewood
and Jansen Display Homes at Wattle Grove.
Calabon Steel, you've got it uptown.
You've got it uptown.
You've got it uptown.
Calabon Steel, you've got it uptown now.
After Bruce Gingell welcomed Australia to the box in 1956,
there was a whole wave of trailblazers who turned television from a novelty
to an integral part of our lives.
And what's more, they lived to tell the tale.
This is Mr. Jim Hannon of Darlinghurst,
who last week successfully answered all seven songs correctly.
That same year, Bruce Gingell also introduces to a young contestant
on Name That Tune.
Beginning his TV career in style,
Jimmy Hannon named an impressive 50 tunes in a row.
But all these years later, this golden boy has quite a revelation.
Sometimes, I must confess, I did sneak up during rehearsals
while Gus Mersey Trio were playing,
and I think, I wonder if they're going to be my songs tonight.
So I'd listen to the rehearsals.
They didn't know.
This is outside the fence of the church hall.
Suddenly there's a valley.
Suddenly there's a valley is right...
I didn't do it all the time, mind you.
Say when!
It wasn't long before this contestant turned compare.
By the 70s, he was our undisputed Wizard of Quiz.
I was never out at a studio.
I think that's when I first started to get worried about my longevity in television.
I thought, oh, God, I'm going to die in a studio very shortly.
I thought, I've got to start to cut back.
The rainforests of northern New South Wales
are about as far from the bright lights of television as you can get,
which suits Jimmy and wife Joanne just fine.
So it was good then to come up to this area and retire,
nicely play the golf, do some clearing of land,
and do a whole different scope of things.
I'm happy here in my little paradise.
New Year's Eve edition of Review 61.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Review 61, episode 52.
I think what the program did that was a real contribution
is that it gave young Australian artists and singers and dancers and writers
an opportunity to compete and really feel their oats, you know.
Here they are, the Review 20.
1961 was a landmark year for Digby Wolf.
It was the year he left nightclub performing for TV stardom
with his variety show, Review.
One, two, three...
No!
You know, it was a fairly short-lived show.
People think it ran longer than it did.
It was just that one year, 1961, when it really peaked.
Colejoy, this is your life.
Ha-ha!
After hosting This Is Your Life in the 70s,
Digby disappeared from our screens and never came back.
But his life often took sharp turns.
I've had the kind of life that's lurched from one extreme to the other.
It's either been wonderful or not so wonderful,
and I've either been completely unemployable
or doing better than probably I deserve.
Digby's Review 96 is looking very different,
living in Albuquerque and teaching writing at the University of New Mexico.
He's grown his hair and got himself a job.
They've just made me a full professor here,
so I can stay here as long as I like,
and the amazing thing about that is that it's the first really steady job
I've had in my entire life.
Goodbye, my sweet boy.
LAUGHTER
TV was all live in the early days,
and being out there without a safety net
was the kind of danger that Bobby Lim loved.
The beautiful thing was we always had a studio audience,
so we were able to share the mistakes with the audience,
and by doing that, we got big laughs that way.
Three years before television,
Bobby took the hand of a young singer called Dawn Lake.
That union was to make them one of our most famous TV couples.
And that's because he's the boss and gets the final say.
20 years together now.
They've had their hitches,
but Dawn and Bobby are still hitched after 43 years.
However, they stopped performing as a team four years ago.
Dawn is a retired lady.
She's had 45 years now.
I was at it.
She said, I've got the hang of it now.
See you later.
But I keep going, because I'm the ham of the family, you know,
and I just, I don't know, I've got to go with my boots on, I guess.
Now Bobby's taking the show on the road.
Well, on the water anyway.
OK, well, have a good show.
We started on the show boats, and now the show boats are very, very big.
I'm very proud of them.
We have 28,000 people come on board the boats per month.
And it's wonderful. It's great.
Child.
Yeah, keep flowing, Bobby.
You know, as childhood memories are the sweetest,
here's something for all of you who were kids when TV began.
Ah, that's it, Amanda. That's it.
That's the feeling I like, eh?
I'd always hated kids' shows where the fellow says,
hello, boys and girls.
You know what I mean? It really craps me off, that sort of approach.
So I didn't want to call them boys and girls.
I gave them a generic name, Nine Pins.
And kids came to me in the street in those days and said,
oh, Desmond, I'm a Nine Pin.
Desmond Tester's attitude to children's TV in the 50s was a winner.
And so was his show.
The Channel Nine Pins was the lead-in for the popular Mickey Mouse Club.
The Bee Gees.
The program was a nursery for young talent.
The Bee Gees cut their milk teeth on Desmond's show.
Today, this king of the kids is quite an adventurer.
He's driven cattle along the Queensland stock routes,
learned to sail, and recently rode a Vespa bike around Tuscany.
What could be next?
Oh, I know what I want to do. Jump out in a parachute.
Hey, happy landings, Desmond.
Now, the biggest news of September 16, 1956, was the start of TV in this country.
But for Chuck Faulkner, he made headlines as the first man behind the news desk,
an honor that he was tricked into by News Chief Michael Ramsden.
He said, wearing your gray dinner jacket, the blue shirt, and also the black bow tie.
And he said, well, have a full dress rehearsal.
Commercials, if you make a mistake, keep going. Don't stop. Soda.
I finished the news and weather, a la rehearsal, and as I did all the clapping,
I said, what's going on?
Congratulations, Chuck. You're the first person ever in Australia to do a live television show.
That's it. I nearly died.
From being a pioneer of television, Chuck's career became embroiled in controversy
over Channel 10's payroll robbery in 1966.
The suspect was a young runaway that Chuck had earlier taken under his wing.
He lived at Chuck's house and had easy access to Channel 10, where Chuck was working at the time.
He got with some kid, or was done with another kid, and the both of them held up Channel 10.
I didn't even know about it. When he was caught up in Queensland, they said to him,
they said, did you commit the robbery? He said, yes, but old Chuck Faulkner told me to do it.
Oh, I tell you, you'll suffer. You'll suffer. It took me, I would think, 10 years to get over it.
I'm glad that it affects your career, Chuck. I don't know what to think of it.
Nothing, I'm just going to have a rest.
Although he was cleared of any involvement, the affair led to a nervous breakdown.
But Chuck's a survivor and returned to TV in Division 4.
Who's the kingpin? None of them have the mouth to organize those robberies.
Chuck lives in Virginia Beach in the United States with his wife, Julie.
Up until two years ago, he was working in local radio.
It wasn't bad ratings that took him off air, but a stroke and five heart bypasses.
I would like to thank, God willing, that maybe in 1997 I'm still here.
In fact, let me say this, I hope if TCN has their 50th anniversary, I'll come back to Australia and see you.
And hopefully so will we, Chuck, and hopefully so will you out there.
Forty years is a lot of territory to cover in two hours. I hope it brought back some good memories for you.
And for all you younger folks, maybe it gave you some real insights into how television has grown up over the years.
And just think what it's going to be like 40 years from now. Who knows?
With virtual reality, I could be sitting there right next to you.
So thanks for joining us. Remember, even with a few more lines and a couple of more gray hairs, I still love your faces.
I'll see you soon.
Now, guys, I used to be a TV star in this country. I had a television show in eight and a half years.
The Don Lane Show was a big one. It had Burt Newton and the Wheel and everything on it.
Hey, I did a whole bunch of television shows. I'm a household name here. I've been a TV star in Australia for 31 years.
Thanks a lot, man. Thanks a lot.
Fellas.
Look, when I was on...
Those guys, they were just kidding.
All right. Now, as we head towards the turn of the century, here's a little gem we found from the 60s.
It's Burt Newton, Bobby Limb, Stuart Wagstaff, Dave Allen, Brian Henderson and Tony Lamont,
as they tried to predict back then how they'd look and sound when we celebrate in the year 2006, 50 years of television.
Marty, my wife, said farewell to the pimple life.
At my news desk, I would sit informing viewers bit by bit a story of some ancient grotto or a new PM, Miss Ainsley Gotto.
2006, 2006, that's the way things are now, 2006.
I've worked often with pretty girls but never fondled their beautiful curls.
But the shock to me above everything was when the runner-up was Frank Fring.
Logies were my particular forte, just as a horse was to Jean Autrey.
No more Logies, they're far too dear, unless Graham returns one of his each year.
I was in on early TV and tried to climb the showbiz tree. Then the last thing flipped him.
That's why you're seeing an art of Mr. Glimm. I must mention my wife Dawn, who always watched her Bobby perform.
Darryl Stewart would always meet her and sing and sing a man called Skeetum.
Dave's the name and I'm an alien because I used a bloody word from Big Mailian.
Tonight was a show that was quite a caper until I mentioned the opposition paper.
I was in London on TV, Enid, David, just us three.
But then a call to make me vibrant, to bring me out as an assistant migrant.
2006, 2006, that's the winnings are now, 2006.
We had fun, I want more.
Slow the world.
In a wheelchair.
That's the winnings are now, 2006.
Any regrets? You bet.
Sweet cream hair remover. For legs so smooth, you'll want to shove them off.