You
On the 23rd day of the month of September, in an early year of a decade not too long
before our own, the human race suddenly encountered a deadly threat to its very existence.
And this terrifying enemy surfaced, as such enemies often do, in the seemingly most innocent
and unlikely of places.
Oh, it's a surf, baby. It's a surf, baby. Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
How do you party on the beach? I want you. Look out, look out, look out. Run away, run away, run away.
Hey, if you're bad, yeah, yeah, yeah. Look around, the sun is coming down. I'm a stream for you.
You better, you better, you better, but you better, best believe it, something's come to get you.
You better, you better watch your back like a child.
Come on, come on, come on.
Little shop, little shop, a little shop. You'll never stop the time. Little shop, little shop, a hurry and go.
Oh, no, oh, no, no, no.
Evo, what's going on down there?
Very little, Mr. Mushnick.
Till the weekend and at his press conference today, President Kennedy fielded questions concerning last Thursday's total eclipse of the sun.
An unprecedented and phenomenal phenomenon has appalled the nation.
Ah, so she finally decides to come to work.
Good morning, Mr. Mushnick.
What morning? It's almost closing time. Not that we had a customer.
Seymour, what in the name of God is going on down there?
Audrey, will you go down and see what he's... Audrey, Audrey, where'd you get that china?
A china?
Audrey, that greasy boyfriend of yours has beaten up on you again? Look, I know he's done all my business, but I'm beginning to think he's maybe not such a nice boy.
I got these parts unloaded for you.
Seymour, look what you've done to the inventory.
Don't yell at Seymour, Mr. Mushnick.
Hi, Audrey. You look radiant today.
Set new eye makeup?
Oh, I'll help him clean it up before any of the customers get here.
That should give you plenty of time.
Oh, God, what an existence I got. Misfit employees, bombs on the sidewalk, business is lousy, my life is a living hell.
Hey, you, urchins! Shoo, shoo, shoo! Move, move, move! Go away! No loitering!
Man, I wasn't loitering, were you, Crystal?
Not me, Ronette, were you, Chiffon?
You ought to be in school.
Yeah, well, we on a split shift.
Right, we went to school till fifth grade, then we split.
So, how do you tend to better yourselves?
Better ourselves? You heard what he said, better ourselves.
Mr. When You From Skid Row ain't no such thing.
A lark goes off at seven and you start a tone.
You're putting your eight hours for the powers that have always been.
Sing it, child.
Till it's five p.m.
Then you go downtown where the folks are broke.
You go downtown where your life's a joke.
You go downtown where you buy a tow.
Then you go home to Skid Row.
Home to Skid Row.
Yes, you go downtown where the cats don't stop.
Downtown where the food is slap.
Downtown where the hog heads flop in the snow.
Down on the Skid Row.
Up town you cater to a million jerks.
Up town you message us and now go barks.
Eating all your lunches at the hot dog hut.
The bosses take your money and they break your hearts.
Up town you cater to a million whores.
You're just a factor and so on the national snores.
The jobs are really mediocre, you make no friends.
And it is all about you red.
By subway.
Downtown where the guys are chips.
Downtown where they rip your slips.
Downtown where relationships are not good.
Down on Skid Row.
Down on Skid Row.
Down on Skid Row.
Down on Skid Row.
Poor, all my life I've always been poor.
I keep asking God what I'm for.
And he tells me gee I'm not sure.
Sweep that floor kid out.
I started life as an orphan.
A child of the street here on Skid Row.
He took me in gave me shelter.
A bed crust of bread and a job.
Treats me like dirt.
Calls me a slob which I am.
So I live.
That's your home address.
You live.
When your life's a mess.
You live.
Where depression's just status quo.
Down on Skid Row.
Someone show me a way to get out of here.
Cause I constantly pray I'll get out of here.
Please won't somebody say I'll get out of here.
Someone give me my shot or I'll rot here.
Downtown where we'll lose our lives.
Downtown where nothing's made us worse.
Downtown where the rainbows dance and no song.
Someone tell Lady Luck that I'm stuck here.
She would be swell to get out of here.
Be the gutter farewell and get out of here.
I'd move heaven and hell to get out of Skid Row.
I do I don't know what to get out of Skid Row.
But I have a lot to get out of Skid Row.
Don't tell me there's no way out of Skid Row.
Cause there's maybe a guy to get out of Skid Row.
Six o'clock and we haven't sold so much as a firm.
All right that's it forget it don't bother coming in tomorrow.
You don't mean to.
What do I mean I'm through forget it kaput.
Kaput extinct I'm closing this garden customer for a sake of waste.
Mr. Mushnick forgive me for saying so sir but has it ever occurred to you that maybe what the firm needs is to move in a new direction.
What Seymour's trying to say is Seymour why don't you run downstairs and bring up that strange and interesting new plant you've been working on.
You see Mr. Mushnick some of those exotic plants Seymour's been tinkering around with are really unusual.
And we thought that maybe some of those strange and interesting new plants prominently displayed and advertised would attract business.
I'm afraid it isn't feeling very well today.
Now isn't that best of all.
At least.
What kind of a weirdo plant is that Seymour.
I don't know I think it's some kind of fly trap but I haven't been able to identify it in any of my books.
I gave it my own name though.
I call it an Audrey too.
If to me.
I hope you don't mind.
You see sir if you were to put a strange and interesting plant like this here in the window then maybe.
Maybe what.
Maybe what.
Do you have any idea how ridiculous you sound.
Just because you put a strange and interesting plant in the window people don't suddenly.
Excuse me I couldn't help noticing that strange and interesting plant.
What is it?
It's an Audrey too.
I've never seen anything like it before.
No one has.
Where did you get it.
Well.
You remember that total eclipse of the sun about a week ago.
I was walking in the wholesale flower district that day.
And I passed by this place with this old Chinese man.
He sometimes sells me weird and exotic cuttings.
Because he knows you see that a strange plants are my hobby.
He didn't have anything unusual there that day.
So I was just about to you know walk on by.
When suddenly and without warning there was this.
It got very dark.
And there was this strange humming sound like something from another world.
When the light came back this weird plant was just sitting there.
Just you know stuck in among the zinnias.
I could have sworn it hadn't been there before.
But the old Chinese man sold it to me anyways.
For a dollar ninety five.
Well that's an unusual story and a fascinating plant.
Oh while I'm here I might as well take fifty dollars worth of roses.
Fifty dollars.
Can you break a hundred.
A hundred.
No.
Well then I'll just have to take twice as many won't I.
Twice as many.
Twice as many.
Twice as many.
That plant in the window it's simply amazing.
That plant in the window wherever you get it.
Oh there it is mom.
Oh my gosh it's peculiar.
Thank you.
Thank you very much sir.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Come again.
Come and look at the way the plants are.
It's just going to get bigger and more interesting.
Well well well well we just all stand there.
Quick quick put that plant back in the.
Oh what did you call it.
Audrey two.
Well put that Audrey two back in the window where the past is by I can see it.
Oh my god.
I never thought this could happen.
Oh my children I've taken this all out and did it tonight.
I'd like to miss the machine but I have a date.
With that same old good Nick.
I'm telling you Audrey you don't need a date with him.
He needs major medical.
He's a very good man.
Besides he's the only fellow I got.
Enjoy dinner.
Good night Seymour.
Good night Audrey.
Poor girl.
Are we still going out.
You're not going anywhere.
You're staying right here and taking care of that sick plant.
I told you it's been giving me trouble.
The Audrey two is not a healthy girl.
Strictly between us neither is the Audrey one.
If only I knew what breed it was.
Who cares what breed it is.
Look what it's up for business.
I know.
So work Seymour.
Nurse this plant back to health.
I'm counting on you.
I know.
You do?
I do.
So fix.
Good night.
Good night.
Tui I don't know what else I can do for you.
Are you sickly little plant or are you just plain stubborn.
What is it you want.
What is it you need.
I've given you sunshine.
I've given you dirt.
You've given me nothing.
But heartache and hurt.
I'm begging you sweetly.
I'm down on my knees.
Oh please grow for me.
I've given you plant food and water to sip.
I've given you potash.
You've given me zip.
Oh God how I miss you.
Oh pod how you tease.
Now please grow for me.
I've given you southern exposure to get to the thrive.
I've pitched you back hard like I'm supposed to.
You're barely alive.
I've tried you at levels of moisture from desert to mud.
I've given you grow lights and mineral supplements.
What do you want from me blood.
Oh damn roses damn thorns.
I've given you sunlight.
I've given you rain.
Looks like you're not happy.
Less I open a vein.
I'll give you a few drops.
If that'll appease.
I've given you rain.
I've given you rain.
Looks like you're not happy.
Less I open a vein.
I'll give you a few drops.
If that'll appease.
If that'll appease.
If that'll appease.
Oh please.
Oh please.
Oh please.
Oh please.
Oh please.
Oh please.
Oh please.
Grow for me.
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May I help you find something ma'am?
That will make a lovely gift. Can I wrap it for you?
Feel free to browse.
You have an eye for color.
Yes those earrings are hypoallergenic.
You must be a winter.
I don't believe we have one of those in stock.
I'll be right over here if you need anything.
Clothing and accessories from Elriding Harley-Davidson, Fort Wayne.
Ha ha ha.
Someone knows what it feels like to hide from the world.
Someone knows what it feels like to be afraid.
Someone knows what loneliness feels like.
What hopelessness feels like. What secrets feel like.
Maybe that someone is you.
If you suffer from depression, call Charter Beacon at 1-800-CHARTER.
If you don't get help at Charter, please get help somewhere.
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Hi I'm John O'Rourke, join me in the night shift crew crazies.
That would be them as we present the first night shift bloopers and outtakes 94.
What do you say to that, you know, no crap?
There was a quick edit there.
I'd say some but I don't want to screw up a third time.
That's night shift bloopers and outtakes 94 right here on Super 55 Fox.
We continue with Steve Martin and Rick Moreniz in Little Shop of Horrors on the Sunday afternoon movie from Super 55 Fox.
KID Skid Row Radio.
You're watching the radio station WSKID, home of the hits.
And in just a few minutes we'll be bringing you Wink Wilkinson's Weird World.
The show that talks to wonderful people who bring in their weird things.
But first, the weather.
Thank you very much Tom, the weather today will be partly cloudy with a chance of rain.
Sorry about that. The high temperature will be in the low 50s tonight.
So get out those electric blankets and tomorrow we'll start off with some morning haze and clouds.
Excuse me, I was told to get the next.
The high tomorrow should be in the low 70s with a low in the high 60s.
In the suburbs the sun should be out for most of the day.
Except for some cloudy patches towards the evening but I don't think that will take the barbecue.
The barometer readings should be 21.6 and the wind will be out about 12 miles per hour.
So watch it out there off the coast.
The sun will be rising tomorrow at about 717 AM and it should be setting around 639 PM.
But check me if I'm wrong.
A cold front is moving in from the southwest and it should break up by noon.
The weekend should be mild with your average mean temperature fans.
The average cool temperature for the season.
Thank you.
You're listening to Radio Street WSBI.
And now Wink Wilkinson's Weird World with your host Wink Wilkinson.
Hi everybody it's Weird Wink Wilkinson laughing and scratching at you.
How's everybody doing today? I got a little bit of a stiff neck. Let me just fix this up.
Oh that feels a lot better. Well I got a great show for you today with some wonderful weird stuff.
What are you doing here?
What? Please lady, no. Put your clothes back on.
It's Wink Wilkinson. You can't do this to me. What if your husband were to walk in?
I'm right here Wink. I'm sorry. I love your show but I've got to kill you both with this machine gun.
Oh you got me. Oh oh oh oh. I feel, I feel so very weird.
Okay our first guest today is a young man you probably read about in the newspapers.
A young man by the name of Seymour Krelborn. Is that correct?
Who has discovered a new breed of plant life that is too unknown on this planet.
Let me play you down to your seat Seymour.
Hello Seymour.
Um hello Wink.
See I wish you folks at home could see this. Seymour where did you get such a weird plant?
Well you remember that total eclipse of the sun about a week ago?
And thus we conclude our interview with Seymour Krelborn the young botanical.
Do you mind if I call you a genius?
Gosh no.
The genius who has discovered this most amazing unidentified plant.
I'd like to remind our listeners that the Audrey 2 is on display exclusively at Mushnicks Skin Roll Floral.
Am I right?
Mushnicks.
And so until next week.
Amps the ass.
The address.
I said thanks in the address.
Oh well it's still good advertising.
Seymour's first radio broadcast.
I wanted to hear it so bad I tried to be on time but.
Don't tell me you got tied up.
No just handcuffed a little.
Girl hey girl I don't know who you are.
Girl hey girl I don't know who this message you've been hanging out with but he is hazardous to your health.
Oh that's the issue but I can't leave him.
Why not?
Oh he get angry and if he does this to me when he likes me imagine what he'd do if he ever got mad.
So dump the chump get another guy and let him protect you.
How about that little chunk of the glasses?
Seymour?
That's him.
Oh we're just friends.
I don't even deserve a sweet considerate subtly successful guy like Seymour.
That poor child suffers from low self-image.
You got a point.
She got a problem.
I know Seymour's the greatest.
But I'm dating a semi sadist.
So I got a black eye and my arm's in a cast.
Still that Seymour's the cutie.
But what if not he is good in the beauty.
And I dream of a place where we could be together at last.
A matchbox of our own.
A fence.
A frilled chain link.
A grill out on the patio.
Disposal in the sink.
A washer and a dryer.
And an ironing machine.
And a tract house that we share.
Somewhere that's green.
He rakes and trims the grass.
He loves to mow and weed.
I cook like Betty Crocker.
And I look like Donna Reed.
There's plastic on our furniture.
And I'm a good boy.
I'm a good boy.
There's plastic on our furniture.
To keep it neat and clean.
In the pine soles and in the air.
Somewhere that's green.
Somewhere that's green.
Between our frozen dinner and our bedtime 915.
We snuggle watching Lucy.
On our big enormous 12 inch screen.
December bride.
His father.
He knows best.
The kids play howdy doody.
As the sun sets in the west.
A picture out of better homes.
In gardens magazine.
Far from Skid Row.
I dream we'll go.
Somewhere that's green.
The kids play howdy doody.
The kids play howdy doody.
In gardens magazine.
Far from Skid Row.
The kids play howdy doody.
I would settle for anything less than total raisin bran.
I would buy total raisin bran even without a coupon.
And even without a toy in the box.
Your teenager could be in trouble.
Here are some warning signs.
Suddenly fails at school.
Destroys property.
Uses alcohol or other drugs.
Withdraws from family and friends.
Becomes physically violent.
Runs away from home.
Talks about or attempts suicide.
If you're worried about your teen, call Charter at 1-800-CHARTER.
If you don't get help at Charter, please get help somewhere.
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We continue with Steve Martin and Rick Moranus in Little Shop of Horrors.
On the Sunday afternoon we'll be from Super 55 Fox.
Ya, ya, ya, ya.
Ya, ya, ya.
Ya, ya, ya, ya.
Ya, ya, ya.
Poor Seymour pushed a broom.
Thumping in his noose but gloom and doom.
Then he lit a fuse and gave him room.
He started an explosion, holy cow.
That thing went bang, car, boom.
And he's having some fun now.
Now!
Hot damn.
Ain't he having some fun now?
Yes ma'am.
He's having some fun now.
Oh boy, ain't he having some fun now?
Oh, here we go!
That's a lot.
Woo!
Go!
Woo!
All right.
Woo!
Oh, oh, oh!
Now!
Show time!
Ain't he having some fun now?
Hot damn.
He's having some fun now.
Oh boy, ain't he having some fun now?
Now!
Some fun now!
Good boy!
He's having some fun now.
Oh boy!
Yes, she's having some fun now.
Oh boy, ain't he having some fun now?
What's that?
Show time!
This is how cool.
Show time!
Oh, oh, oh!
Look at the way he's on the roof.
Look at all the size of that old man.
Excuse me, excuse me.
Excuse me.
Hello?
Hello?
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, Mrs. Schiver.
Now, Mrs. Schiver.
Right away, Mrs. Schiver.
Schiver!
I'd just like to take these, please.
Schiver!
Send out the order for Mrs. Schiver.
Mrs. Schiver, I forgot.
You forgot!
You forgot!
You hear the scum?
He forgot!
You listening customers?
He forgot!
Audrey, quick.
We've got to do an emergency arrangement.
Birthday, wedding, baby?
Funeral.
Hand me the little man.
Mr. Mushnick's real mad at me, Audrey.
I keep forgetting things.
Zizzy, you've got a lot on your mind.
Mind?
What mind?
The Schivers are our most important union real accounts.
A big and enormous family that's dropping off like flies.
Sometimes I think Mr. Mushnick's too hard on you.
Glow.
Well, that's okay.
For all I owe him, everything.
Glitter.
He took me out of the skid row home for boys when I was just a little tight.
Gave me a warm place to stay, floors to sweep, toilets to clean.
And every other Sunday off.
You know, I think you ought to raise your expectations some more.
Now that you're getting successful, I mean,
it's clear you suffer from a low self-image.
And it's high time you get it fixed.
Why don't you go out and do something nice to yourself, like buy some new clothes?
Oh, I'm a very bad shopper, Audrey.
I don't have good tastes like you.
Oh.
Well, I could help you pick things out.
You could?
Sure.
You'd go shopping with me?
Sure.
You'd be seen with me in a public place like a department store?
Sure.
Tonight?
Oh, I can't tonight. I've got a date.
Again, this date?
Some date.
A date gives you cassars out of multiple fracture.
I'm telling you, Audrey, he's not a good, clean kind of boy.
He's a professional.
What kind of a professional drives a motorcycle and wears a black leather jacket?
When I was younger, just a bad little kid,
my mama noticed funny things I did,
like shooting puppies with a BB gun.
I'd poison guppies when I was done.
I'd find a pussycat bashing its head.
That's when my mama said...
What did she say?
She said, my boy, I think someday
you'll find a way to make your natural tendencies pay.
You'll be a dentist.
You have a talent for causing things.
Some be a dentist.
People will pay you to be in your lane.
Your temperament's wrong for the priesthood.
And teaching would suit you still less.
Some be a dentist.
You'll be a success.
Here he is, folks, the leader of the class.
Watch him suck up that gas.
Oh, my God.
He'll never ever be a good kid.
Oh, that hurts.
Wait, I'm not filming.
Shut up. Open wide. Here I come.
I am your dentist.
And I enjoy the career that I pick.
I'm your dentist.
And I get off on the pain I inflict.
I drill when I drill a bicuspid.
It's swell, though they tell me I'm maladjusted.
And though it may cause my patients distress.
Somewhere, somewhere in heaven above me,
I know, I know that my mom was proud of me.
Oh, mama?
Because I'm a dentist and I'll say,
No!
Say, ah.
Ah!
Say, ah!
Ah!
Say, ah!
Now spit!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Excuse me, sir, you can't go in there right now.
Relax.
You want to mind for a slack sign?
Suit yourself.
Ah!
We're closed.
Well.
Oh, it's all right, Seymour.
This is my date, my boyfriend,
and Seymour, or in Scrivello.
Oh, the DTS.
Hey!
I know you.
Sure, I saw you on the news.
I even know your name.
Now, let's see, it's, ah, Cecil.
No, no, no. It's, ah, Cedric.
No, give me a chance.
It's, ah, Simon?
It's Seymour.
Somebody talking to you?
Oh, no.
Excuse me.
Excuse me what?
Excuse me, doctor.
That's better.
I know.
Sure, you're the plant guy, right?
Well, hey, that means it must be in there, huh?
Hey, that is incredible.
What do you call that thing?
Audrey II.
Cute name.
It's catchy.
Nice plant.
Big.
Shouldn't we be leaving now?
You're quite the little chatterbox tonight, ain't you?
Oh, sorry.
Sorry what?
Sorry, doctor.
Doctor.
Sorry, doctor.
You got a train of months to it.
Listen, here's my card.
You ever need a root canal or anything like that?
Give me a buzz, you hear?
Now, I'm serious.
It's on the house.
Audrey!
You got the handcuffs?
They're right in my bag.
Ah!
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!
You ought to see the way he treats it, Tooey.
She deserves a prince, not a sadistic creep like him.
Demands a total disgrace to the dental profession.
I don't know what's going on sometimes.
Seems like the whole world's going crazy.
At least we got each other, right?
I'm going to turn in, Tooey.
I'll see you in the morning.
Oh, boy, here we go again.
Come on, I haven't got much left.
Just give me a few days to heal, OK?
Then we'll start again on the left hand and...
Feed me.
I beg your pardon?
Feed me.
Tooey, you talked.
You opened your trap.
You sang and you sang...
Feed me, Crabhorn.
Feed me now.
I can't.
I'm starving.
Look, maybe I can squeeze a little more out of this one.
More, more, more, more, more.
There isn't any more.
What do you want me to do, slit my wrists?
Oh, boy.
I got an idea.
I'm going to go down to Shmendrix and pick you up some nice chopped sirloin.
Must be blood.
Tooey, that's disgusting.
Must be fresh.
I don't want to hear this.
Feed me.
Does it have to be human?
Feed me.
Does it have to be mine?
Feed me.
Where am I supposed to get it?
Feed me, Seymour.
Feed me all night long.
That's right, boy.
You can do it.
Feed me, Seymour.
Feed me all night long.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Cause if you feed me, Seymour,
I can grow up big and strong.
You eat blood, Audrey, too.
Let's face it.
How am I supposed to keep on feeding you?
Kill people?
I make it worth your while.
What?
You think this is all coincidence, baby?
The sudden success around here?
Depressed coverage?
Look, you're a plant.
An inanimate object.
Does this look inanimate to you, punk?
If I can talk and I can move,
who's to say I can't do anything I want?
Like what?
Like deliver, pal.
Like see you get everything you're sacred.
Easy.
Heart desire.
Shouldn't you like a Cadillac cop?
On a gas shot on Jack Paul.
How about a date with Hedy Lamar?
You're gonna get it.
If you want it, baby.
How would you like to be a big wheel?
Dining out for every meal.
I'm the plant you make it all real.
You're gonna get it.
Hey, I'm your genie.
I'm your friend.
I'm your willing slave.
Take a chance.
Feed me, hey.
You know the kind of eats, the kind of red hot treats,
the kind of sticky, licky sweets I crave.
Whoa!
Come on, Seymour.
Don't be a putz.
Trust me, in your life, for sure,
they'll ride your key touch.
Sure, little initiative boy, work up some guts,
and you'll get it.
I don't know.
Come on, boy.
I don't know.
Lighten up.
I have so, so many strong reservations.
Tell it to the Marines.
Should I go and perform mutilations?
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
You didn't have nothing till you met me.
Come on, kid, what will it be?
Money?
Girls.
One particular girl.
How about that old man?
Thinking over, there must be someone you can eat a seat.
Real quiet like you.
And get me some lunch.
Think about a room at Ferris.
Rotten velvet covered in glue.
A little nucky gonna clean up those shifts,
and you'll get it.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
She had like a Harley machine.
Tool it around like I was James Dean.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Making all the guys on the corner turn green.
So go get it.
Woo, woo, woo.
If you wanna be profound, if you really gotta justify.
Take a breath and look around.
A lot of folks deserve to die.
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
That's not a very nice thing to say.
But it's true, isn't it?
No.
I don't know anyone who deserves to get chopped up
and fed to a hungry plant.
Mmm, sure you do.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Rumbling
Rumbling
Rumbling
Rumbling
Rumbling
Rumbling
Stupid woman, trash.
What a friggin' scatterbrain.
I'm sorry, doctor.
I'm sorry, doctor.
I'm sorry, doctor.
Falls off the motorcycle.
I'm sorry, doctor.
Massage my hair.
Get the door open, you little slut.
I'm sorry, doctor.
I'm sorry, doctor.
Get the vitalis.
Quick, the vitalis.
What?
Ah!
If you want a rationale, it isn't very hard to see.
No, no, no, stop and think it over, pal.
The guy sure looks like plant food to me.
He's so nasty, treating her up.
Smacking her around and always talking so tough.
You need blood and he's got more than enough.
You need blood and he's got more than enough.
You need blood and he's got more than enough.
So go get it.
So go get it.
So go get it.
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I know, I know, I. Oh, no.
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We continue with Steve Martin and Rick Moreno seeing little shop of horrors.
On the Sunday afternoon, we'll be from Super 55 Farms.
Hey, does that mean they're finished? My turn?
What happened? What did you do? Tell me everything.
They have to do that to remove the jaw.
Ah, consider yourself very, very lucky.
Next! It's me, Arthur Denton. I'm next.
Nurse! Does that have an appointment?
Ask it. I'm off duty.
I've been saving all month for this. I think I need a root canal.
I'm sure I need a long, slow root canal.
Let's go.
I have a history of dental problems. Shut up!
Yes, doctor.
I went to a terrible dentist on Wednesday who recommended me to somebody that I saw on Monday.
It was the brother of a man that I usually see on Sundays.
And their mother actually taught them everything that they know.
She's incredibly gifted and quiet utterly and a lot of people think she shouldn't be working.
But I go to her because I'm just incredibly devoted to her strength.
She can't really see who you are, but she knows the sound of your voice.
And if you tell her where it is, the problem, she eventually works her way back and she finds the trouble and she does it.
I wish I had that family because I can only go so long.
That's how I want to be. I don't ever want to have to be just...
Comfy?
Yes, doctor.
I remember the first time I went to the dentist, I thought, gosh, what a neat job. If only I were a dentist.
The dentist I went to had the greatest car. He had a Corvette.
And I thought, my gosh, everybody calls him doctor and he's not really a doctor.
Oh my God.
Only I got out of here okay and then, you know, after he was all finished, they gave me a candy bar.
I thought, this is what I get, a candy bar.
This is what you do. You go through a little thing and you get chocolate out of it.
We're getting to work with incredible professionals. He's incredibly, incredibly wonderful equipment.
Let's take a look at that mouth.
Say ah.
Ah!
Ah! Candy bar!
Oh! Candy bar! Candy bar!
Come on!
Ah!
Oh, yeah!
Come on, doctor!
Oh, you are something special.
You are something special. Come on, come on, come on.
Ah! Thank you!
Oh!
It's your professionalism that I respect.
Oh, no! No, stop that!
No, stop! Come on! More! Yeah! Yeah!
Come on! Yeah!
What do you want? Same place?
Uh-uh. Uh-uh. Uh-uh. Uh-uh.
Oh!
Woo-hoo!
I'm going to get a candy bar. I'm going to get a candy bar.
Come on!
Come on!
Oh! Oh!
Oh! Yeah! Yeah!
Oh! Oh!
Oh! Oh! Oh!
Whoa!
Oh, yeah! Oh, yes!
Yes!
Yeah. Get out of here.
Get out of here.
What's the matter?
Go on! Get out of here!
Right this way. I'm going to tell each and every one of my friends about you,
and they're going to hear about you. Just get it!
What's this? Oops.
Sorry. You little sicko.
Let me ask you something. Does this thing scare you?
Yes. Would you like it if I took this thing and made straight for your gall-danging sizers?
No. It hurt, right? Uh-huh.
It'd scream, right? Uh-huh. Well, get yourself in there!
Say, don't I know you?
Yeah, Seymour Krelbaum. We met yesterday.
Oh, your mouth's a masquerade.
We'll just rip that little bugger right out of there. What do you say?
No! There's always time for dental hygiene, Seymour.
You ever seen the results of a neglected mouth?
Look, Seymour, this could happen to you.
Unless I take immediate action. What's that?
A grill. It's rusty.
It's an antique. They don't make them like this anymore.
Sturdy, heavy, dull.
I'm gonna want some gas for this.
Oh, thank God. I thought you weren't gonna use any...
Oh, the gas isn't for you, Seymour. It's for me.
You see, I want to really enjoy this.
In fact, I'm gonna use my special gas mask.
I find a little giggle gas before I begin increases my pleasure enormously.
Here we go.
Oh, Seymour, I'm proud.
Think I'm gonna do to that now.
What the hell's that? A gun?
Kid's got a gold dang revolver.
Oh, jeez. I'm in trouble now, huh?
Oh, when will I turn this gas off?
Uh-oh.
Oh, give me a hand, would you?
No, I guess you wouldn't, would you?
Oh, Seymour, I couldn't fix it.
I couldn't fix it.
What did I ever do to you?
Nothing. It's what you did to her.
Her who?
Oh.
Shh.
Shh.
Shh.
Go away.
Mm.
Chop it up.
What?
Feed me.
Okay, okay.
Brother.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Betty Crocker knows.
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Thanks, Mom.
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We continue with Steve Martin and Rick Moreniz in Little Shop of Horrors.
On the Sunday afternoon, we'll be from Super 55 Fox.
Alert kg
Barners
1248, 981 East 40th Plane, 981 East 40th Plane,
man down, car 76 clear.
Audrey, what'd they say to you?
Oh, huh?
The police.
Oh, uh, nothing.
Audrey, talk to me.
Tell me what they said.
It's Orin.
They say he's disappeared.
The police, they told you that?
They suspect foul play.
They do?
His deceptionist this morning found the place of shambles.
Gas mess everywhere.
Things all over the floor.
They think...
I can't even think about what they think.
Audrey?
Don't cry, Audrey.
Would it be so terrible if something had happened to him?
They won't have anything to say.
Well, would it?
It wouldn't be terrible at all.
It'd be a miracle.
Not to mention all the money I'd save on epsom salts and hay spandexes.
You see?
But I'd still feel guilty.
I mean, if he met with foul play or some terrible accident of some kind,
then it'd be partly my fault just because...
secretly I wished it.
Audrey, don't you waste another minute thinking about that creep.
There's a lot of guys who'd give anything to go out with you.
Nice guys.
I don't deserve a nice guy, Seymour.
That's not true.
You don't know the half of it.
I've led a terrible life.
I deserved a creep like Orin Scribdell on TV, T.S.
You know where I met him?
In the gutter.
The gutter?
The gutter.
It's a night spot.
I worked there on my nights off when we weren't making much money.
I put on cheap and tasteless outfits, not nice ones like this.
Low and nasty pants.
Audrey, that's all behind you now.
You've got nothing to be ashamed of.
You're a very nice person.
I always knew you were.
Underneath the bruises and the handcuffs, you know what I saw?
Girl, I respect it.
I still do.
Lift up your head.
Wash off your mascara.
Here, take my Kleenex.
Wipe that lipstick away.
Show me your face.
Kleenex is the morning.
I know things were bad, but now they're okay.
Suddenly Seymour is standing beside you.
You don't need no makeup.
Don't have to pretend.
Suddenly Seymour is here to provide you sweet understanding.
Seymour's your friend.
Nobody ever treated me kindly.
Daddy left early.
Mama was poor.
I'd meet a man and I'd follow him blindly.
He'd snap his fingers at me.
I'd say, sure.
Suddenly Seymour is standing beside me.
You don't give me your love.
It don't come to this end.
Suddenly Seymour is here to provide me sweet understanding.
Seymour's my friend.
Tell me this feeling will last till forever.
Tell me the bad times are clean washed away.
I just understand that it's still strange and frightening.
But losers like I've been, it's so hard to say.
Suddenly Seymour.
Suddenly Seymour.
He purified you.
He purified you.
Suddenly Seymour.
Suddenly Seymour.
Don't be a kid.
Let out a fever.
The girl that's inside you.
With sweet understanding.
With sweet understanding.
Seymour's your man.
Seymour's your man.
Seymour's your man.
You love him madly, don't you, schmuck?
Mr. Mushter, you scared me.
I scared him?
After what I've seen, I scared him?
You think I didn't know, huh?
Why you?
I knew you lay down here on your pathetic little cot and dreamed about her.
But I didn't know the lengths to which you'd go, the depths to which you'd sink.
What depths? What sink? What are you talking about?
Little red dots all over the linoleum.
Little red spots on the concrete outside.
I'm talking blood, Kralborn.
I'm talking under my own roof.
An axe, my dear.
He's got your number now.
I saw everything.
He knows just what you've done.
Everything you did to a boyfriend.
You've got no place to hide.
I saw you choppy.
You've got nowhere to run.
It's true. I chopped him up, but I didn't kill him.
He knows your life a crime.
How's your police?
I think it's supper time.
Hoo hoo hoo hoo.
Come on, come on.
Think about all those offers.
Come on, come on.
Your future with Andre.
Come on, come on.
Ain't no time to turn skinny.
Come on.
I swear on all my spores.
When he's gone, the world will be yours.
Yours.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Come on, come on.
Come on.
Come on, come on.
Come on.
Come on, come on.
It's supper time.
Come on, come on.
You know, Krelborn, it kills me doing this.
But considering you're almost like a son to me, I'm thinking maybe we don't have to go to the police.
We don't?
I'm thinking.
What if I kept my mouth shut and gave you a one-way ticket out of town?
You'd do that, sir?
I'd lay low for a while, say 30, 40 years.
Meanwhile, I would keep the plant.
Plant?
Of course.
You'd have to teach me how to take care of it while you're away.
Give me your secret cartony tips.
But then, if you'd rather hang...
Come on, come on.
What do I have to do?
Just feed it.
Just feed it what?
Oh, minerals?
Yes.
Thursdays, you should give it water.
Oh, yes.
But whatever you do...
Yes.
Whatever you do...
Yes.
What the hell is this, sir?
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Wait, wait.
Supper time.
When's the last time you had a bowl of Wheaties?
It's been a while.
I've never had Wheaties before.
These are delicious.
I can taste the wheat.
I like it. Let me have another bite.
It's got more zipped than cornflakes.
Cornflakes doesn't have the body, doesn't do it compared to Wheaties.
Wheaties has a little bit more oomph.
Why eat cornflakes when you can have Wheaties?
Discover the toasted whole wheat taste of Wheaties.
I think I'll go buy a box.
Hey, Wheaties just lowered prices on popular-sized boxes.
Bring some home today.
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For millions of people, depression isn't a feeling, it's a disease.
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We continue with Steve Martin and Rick Moreno seeing Little Shop of Horrors.
On the Sunday afternoon, we'll be from Super 55 Fox.
Seymour Kralbern, so finally we meet you. What an occasion. Let's toast it, shall we?
Relax. Can I have a cigarette?
Let's talk turkey. Sign here and we'll book you on lecturing tours.
Yes, darling. We're sending photographers Thursday, so get the plant ready and wear a clean shirt.
Just sign this release.
Peter Pan? Aren't you thrilled? It's the cover of Life magazine.
Is that? I'm telling you, son, it's a cinch to get ratings.
The title is Marvin's. The concept is mine.
The first weekly gardening show on a network.
And you're gonna host it, you lucky kid. Sign!
The meat shall inherit, no cook doesn't die.
It's not a question of merit, it's not demanded supply.
They say the meat gonna get it.
The meat gonna get it.
Oh my God.
And here he is himself, Mr. Seymour Kralbern.
Mr. Kralbern, there are so many questions that the American people in our television audience have for you.
Come over here and tell our viewers at home and elsewhere about this particularly amazing agricultural phenomenon.
A phenomenon, I might add, that has made you one of the most talked about plant scientists in the country.
Cut!
What the hell is going on? What happened to the damn greenery?
It just needs to be fed.
So feed it.
I can't feed it, not now.
Then I'll feed it.
Where do you keep the plant food?
It doesn't eat plant food. And I can't feed it now.
Why don't you leave me alone, all of you.
Just go away. Leave me alone. Get out of here. Go away. Leave me alone.
Everybody go away. Leave me alone.
You're hysterical.
I know. I'm sorry.
Excuse me.
What am I going to do? What am I going to do?
I never should have started, but I did. And now if I don't feed it, it'll die.
And I'll lose her. I'll lose everything.
Seymour, who are you talking to?
Huh? Nobody.
You're acting funny.
It wasn't nice, those people.
Those men, Seymour Kralberg and Scardening Tips, it should be a very big TV show.
I know. I'm sorry. I feel terrible.
Well, you shouldn't. They're coming back tomorrow.
And they'll bring you a great big check.
They are?
I wish you were enjoying your success.
They said they're coming back with money?
Tomorrow.
Then we could afford to get out of here, couldn't we?
What do you mean?
That's it. After tomorrow, we could leave here together.
Together?
If you'll have me. Audrey, will you have me?
What do you mean?
Marry me, Audrey.
Seymour, this is self-sabotaging.
Will you?
Sure.
Then that's it. We'll go get married right now.
I see.
And then tomorrow we'll come back, I'll be on television, get the money, and then we'll live happy ever after.
Oh, Audrey, I'll give you a wonderful life with no plants, I promise. No plants at all.
You're talking peculiar again, Seymour.
We'll start tonight. We'll go to City Hall, get married, and then spend the night somewhere it's safe. Some nice hotel.
I see, Ma.
Oh, Audrey.
Oh, I gotta get ready.
Hurry, hurry.
I'm sorry.
Feed me.
Under no circumstances.
Feed me.
I will not, so stop asking.
Feed me.
No, no more. I can't keep living with the guilt.
Oh, cut the crap. Bring on the meat.
Okay, okay.
I'll bring you meat. I'll run down the corner and pick you up some nice ground wraps.
I'll get you some meat.
I'll get you some meat.
I'll bring you meat. I'll run down the corner and pick you up some nice ground wraps. How about that?
Don't do me no favors.
Look.
It's my last offer, yes or no?
You sure do drive a hard bargain.
Done. Fine. Great.
Don't think you're getting dessert.
I'll get you some.
Oh.
I'll get you some.
Hello.
Hello.
Hey, little lady, hello.
Who, who is this?
You're looking cute as can be.
Is it someone I know?
You're looking mighty sweet.
Seymour.
No, it ain't Seymour. It's me.
Oh, my God.
I don't believe it.
Believe it, baby. It talks.
Am I dreaming this?
No, and you ain't in Kansas neither.
Something's very wrong here.
I need me some water in the waste way.
Look at my branches. I'm dry. I'm a goner, honey.
Come on and give me a drink.
I don't know if I should.
Hey, little lady, midnight.
Do you talk to Seymour like this?
Sure do. I'll drink you straight.
The leaves are dry, Pussy.
Don't need no glass or no ice.
I'll get the can.
Don't need no twist or blind.
Here we go.
And now it's supper time.
Oh, relax, darling. It'll be easy.
Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.
Get off her. Get off.
Get off.
What do people say when they try multigrain Cheerios?
Multigrain? I don't think so.
I'll try.
It'll be heavy and grainy like little bricks.
It's light and crunchy.
Mmm.
It'll be bland.
Kind of sweet.
Probably one of those whole earth cereals.
They're really, really good.
It's four kinds of oats toasted with a touch of brown sugar.
I know we won't like it.
I like this.
Once you try it, you can't deny it.
Multigrain Cheerios.
I like it.
I knew she would.
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Getaway options not so hot?
Lighten up in Indianapolis this weekend.
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Choosing a career is one of the most important decisions I'll make in my life.
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This is Big Sister's Bike-a-thon, Sunday, August 14th.
We continue with Steve Martin and Rick Moranus in Little Shop of Horrors.
On the Sunday afternoon, we'll be from Super 55 Fox.
You okay?
Yeah.
No.
Audrey? Audrey?
Oh, no. I'm okay.
I'm sorry, Audrey. I'm just so sorry. I never meant to hurt you.
I never meant to hurt anybody.
It's just that somehow it makes things happen, terrible things.
I guess I should have stopped when I found out what I lived on,
but he was so cute and harmless,
and we started doing business and making money, and you liked me, and...
Seymour!
Do you really think I liked you because of that?
I liked you from the day I came to work here.
You mean you'd still like me even if I wasn't famous?
I'd still love you, Seymour.
Really?
All I ever wanted was you...
and his sweet little house.
Audrey, you're the most wonderful person that ever lived.
We're gonna get that little house, and everything will be okay somehow. You'll see.
Suddenly Seymour
is standing beside you
Standing beside me
Show me your again
Yes, you can
Excuse me. Excuse me, pardon me, beg your pardon.
If you two kids would just stop singing for a moment,
I've got something I want to discuss with you.
Now, which one of you is Seymour Crowborn?
I am.
Oh, it's a pleasure. Boy, has your phone been busy?
I've been trying to reach you for weeks. Patrick, Martin, licensing and marketing,
World Botanical Enterprises.
Kid, boy, are we gonna make a fortune together.
He's not interested.
Oh, he will be.
You see, me and the guys at the home office have been following this plan of yours,
and we've come up with one incredible idea.
We're very proud of it.
Picture this.
We take leaf cuttings, develop little Audrey IIs,
and sell them to florist shops across the nation.
Why, pretty soon, every household in America could have one.
Every household in America?
For starters, kid, why, this thing could go worldwide.
Worldwide?
Think of it, boy. Audrey IIs, everywhere.
Why, with the right advertising, this thing could be bigger than hula hoops.
Bigger than hula hoops?
What do you say, Seymour? Do we have a deal?
No! Keep your contract. Nobody's touching that plant, you hear?
Hey, we're offering a lot of money.
Forget the money. Keep the money and get out of here. Go on!
What, are you nuts? I'm nuts! Get out of here!
Hey, hey, now, come on. Get out of here!
You're a loser! Go on, get out!
Look, I'll come back when you're in a better mood.
Go on, get out of here now!
Audrey, you think of what I'm thinking?
I think so.
Keep eating, eating and eating until there's nothing left.
We gotta stop it, Seymour. We got to.
No, I've got to.
We gotta end this once and for all.
Seymour!
I'm gonna bust that pod wide open.
Wait! I'm coming with you.
No, it's me that got us into this. I'm the one to get us out.
Wait for me, Audrey. This is between me and the vegetable.
Every household in America, thousands of you eating.
That's what you had in mind all along, isn't it?
No, Seymour!
We're not talking about one hungry plant here.
We're talking about world conquest.
And I want to thank you.
You're not gonna get away with this. Your kind never does.
I don't care what it takes. Only one of us gets out of here alive.
Better wait a minute. You better hold the phone.
Better mind your manners.
Better change your tone.
Don't you threaten me, son. You got a lot of gold.
We're gonna do things my way.
Oh, we won't do things at all.
Uh-huh. You in trouble now.
Seymour!
You don't know what you're messing with. You got no idea.
You don't know what you're looking at when you're looking here.
You don't know what you're up against. No, no, way, no, how.
You don't know what you're messing with. But I'm gonna tell you tonight.
How?
Get this straight. I'm just a mean green mother from outer space and I'm bad.
I'm just a mean green mother from outer space and it looks like you been had.
I'm just a mean green mother from outer space. So get off my back. Get off my face.
Because I'm mean and green. And I am bad.
Wanna save your skin, boy? You wanna save your hat?
You wanna see tomorrow? You better step aside.
You better take a dip, boy. You want some beauty, box?
You better take it easy. Cause you're walking on thin ice.
You don't know what you're dealing with. No, you never did.
You don't know what you're looking at. But that's a pity, kid.
A liar don't sleep tonight and if you pull his tail he'll roar.
You see, that ain't bad. You see, that ain't nice. You know what I say? It's war.
See now, I'm just a mean green mother from outer space and I'm bad.
I'm just a mean green mother, a real disgrace, and you got me fighting mad.
I'm just a mean green mother from outer space. Gonna trash your ass, gonna rock this place.
I'm mean and green. And I am bad.
You know I don't come from no black lagoon. I come from past the stars and beyond the moon.
You can keep the thing, keep the gift, keep the creature and have a bit.
Alright, that does it.
I got killer bugs, a power stem, nasty thorns and I'm using them.
So better move it out. Tell you what, you got the part, I'm gonna bust your back.
Yeah!
I'm mean and green.
See me better from outer space.
I'm mean and green.
See me better from outer space.
I'm mean and green.
And I am bad.
Bye bye, Seymour.
I'm mean and green.
Oh, shit!
You can change your career and future in four short months at the internationally accredited Indiana Trapple Academy.
Call now and get started on your new career.
Your teenager could be in trouble. Here are some warning signs.
Suddenly fails at school. Destroys property. Uses alcohol or other drugs.
Withdraws from family and friends. Becomes physically violent.
Runs away from home. Talks about or attempts suicide.
If you're worried about your teen, call Charter at 1-800-CHARTER.
If you don't get help at Charter, please get help somewhere.
Hi, we'd like to come in and share with you the true way to cosmic enlightenment through Crystal Prisms.
Some groups you might not want in your home, but here are three great groups from Big Sur that are welcome anywhere.
Choose the Shaker Group with Water Bed and Wardrobe or the Oak Group with Water Bed and High Chest for about $23 a month.
This canopy waterbed with mirrored ceiling is about $33 a month.
So, you can have one of our groups or...
Hi, thank you!
Big Sur Water Beds.
Hi, folks. Welcome to Wimps on Spy Run.
We have three specials this evening. Boiled walleye, prime rib, or all-you-can-eat chicken or ribs.
Yo, good to see you again! You know what's usual?
Okay, that's gonna be two orders of hot wings, appetizers, two pork chop dinners, one serving.
Here's one of my favorites. Hope it's one of yours.
Wimps on Spy Run. Friendly, hard-working staff, daily specials, live entertainment.
Open Monday through Saturday, four blocks north of Superior Street on Spy Run.
Dr. Miles Hawkins, by day a brilliant man of science.
But when darkness falls, he's the ultimate force against evil.
Now, justice has a new face, and crime hasn't got a prayer.
From the writer of Batman comes a new breed of superhero.
Who are you?
Call me the Mantis.
Mantis, coming this fall to Fox.
One, two, one, two.
Larry, you know, this simple exercise can help you stay healthy, which keeps medical costs down.
But you gotta do it every day, Vince.
Whoa!
Or you'll get out of shape fast.
You could learn a lot from a dummy. Buckle your safety belt.
It's time for the Super 55 Fox Community Calendar.
The Delfus Fire Association will be holding their annual Fireman's Picnic Friday and Saturday, August 5th and 6th at Waterworks Park in Delfus, Ohio.
There will be games, rides, chicken dinners, and a major drawing for prizes, along with entertainment events.
Funds from this event will be used to purchase equipment and protective clothing for the Delfus Fire Department.
Crescent Avenue's School of the Arts is offering a one-morning class in drawing and painting called Shapes and Colors.
Taught by local artist Peggy McCarthy, it is open to anyone from first grade up.
This event will take place Saturday, August 6th from 9 a.m. through 12 noon at Crescent Avenue Methodist Church in Fort Wayne.
Cost is $9, which includes registration and materials fee. To register, call 424-4509.
Lutheran Church of our Savior, 437 West Rue de Salle Blvd. will hold an ice cream social on Sunday, August 7th from 4-6 p.m.
This event is free to the public and includes activities for children and ice cream and beverages for all.
The Fort Wayne Alzheimer's Support Group will meet at 1 p.m. Wednesday, August 10th at Park Center's Administration Building, 909 East State Blvd.
Speaker for this meeting will be Reverend Brooks Fedders. For additional information, phone 458-2223 or 447-3940.
Matthew 25 Health and Dental Clinics will hold free school physical and dental screenings on August 11th, 18th, 25th and 29th.
Those on low income, not on Medicaid, are eligible. The clinics will be staffed by volunteer health and dental professionals.
All screenings will start at 5 p.m. and are on a first-come, first-served basis.
For more information, call the clinic at 425-3250.
If your non-profit group or organization is planning an event of widespread community interest, please write with details at least three weeks in advance to Community Calendar WFFT, Post Office Box 8655, Fort Wayne, Indiana 46898.
The Fort Wayne Alzheimer's Support Group will meet at 1 p.m. Wednesday, August 10th at Park Center's Administration Building, 909 East State Blvd.
The Fort Wayne Alzheimer's Support Group will meet at 1 p.m. Wednesday, August 10th at Park Center's Administration Building, 909 East State Blvd.
The Fort Wayne Alzheimer's Support Group will meet at 1 p.m. Wednesday, August 10th at Park Center's Administration Building, 909 East State Blvd.
What does love mean?
Well, love is a feeling. It's like when you really care about someone. It's helping, sharing, and spending time with them. It's like your family.
Heather?
I think you are loved.
Sometimes, the most important thing you can give is yourself.
From the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
We continue with Steve Martin and Rick Moreno's Seein' Little Shop of Horrors on the Sunday afternoon movie from Super 55 Fox.
Come on.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.